Most Nigerian parents won't deny the fact that they feel so awkward when it comes to dishing out advice to their wards on matters concerning love, romance and relationships. These three are some of the vital areas that make up our society because lives of men and women, both born and unborn are involved whether you consider it or not. So, what do these parents do? They shy away and do nothing until one day the ward returns home with a heavy spoiled baggage. All of these, beg the question as to who will give advice to these little grown-ups. I mean, advice that are in vogue and are practicable right now, even when it seem rather silly or embarrassing. I'd rather leave my 5-year old son to cross the third mainland bridge alone than refuse my lovely teenage daughter some advice. It's that simple.

Here, I'll be highlighting some 21 relationship advice your parents never gave you, probably because they thought you were too young(not knowing that you're 5-star rated) or they couldn't muster the courage to talk to you about the softer things of life. Here is my advice.

1. When you fall in love, you become vulnerable. It's like sweet madness, but you need to make sure the next person is just as mad as you.


Yes, you'll be helpless, your emotions will be in control. But make sure the same thing is happening to the next person. If it's not, then you're the joker.

2. Most people will tell you 'I love you' just to please you. But, when they say 'I hate you', they really mean it and you should take it seriously.


It's easier to feign love than hate. Reason? It takes lesser body muscles and lesser troubles too. If you're in love with somebody and they say they love you, it may be true 50% of the time but when they say they hate you, it's almost 100%. You have to know when emotions are talking if you want to have a good love relationship.

3. People have the rights to make promises to you. But, you also have the right to check in with reality. There are no guarantees in love nowadays.

If you believe every promise you're told in love, it won't be long before people start laughing at you. Take every promise with a pinch of salt. If they're fulfilled, good for you. If they're not, remain the same.

4. Make a lot of friends and fall in love with one of them.


You'll build a more predictable relationship this way.
It's more reasonable to fall in love with a friend. Someone you share a lot in common with. This is common sense. If you succeed being friends with someone, you have more probability of building a successful relationship with them.

5. Don't get it twisted, s*x is not a proof of love. It's an act of long-term bonding.


When a guy tells you to prove your love by sleeping with him, he's simply playing to your fantasies. You need to be assured of your long-term future with him or his commitment with you before taking any permanent decision whatsoever.

6. If he hasn't gotten over his ex, then he's the wrong person for you. Vice versa.


Most people find it hard to get over their ex because of the time and resources expended in the past. If your partner hasn't gotten over their ex, maybe they need some time alone.

7. There is nothing like an ideal man or woman. Ideal doesn't exist. Ideal isn't real.


You can't have an ideal partner because the only place they exist are in your imagination. We're humans and we must carry some flaws. Get over it and plunge in.

8. If you talk and I listen. But, you don't listen when I talk, you're an 1diot!


So, you're the ruler of the whole world? And I'm just a little brat running around you? That's right. If your partner cannot listen to you, it's either they don't respect you or they're not matured enough. Either way, quit.

9. Be yourself every time and you won't have to tell a lie or make silly, embarrassing excuses.


So you were at the runway at Paris fashion week last year? Na wash! Why can't you be yourself for Christ sake? If you'll be matured enough to keep it real, you'll avoid a lot of embarrassing moments in your relationships.

10. If he's not ready to settle down, then he's still playing the game. You need to choose between a player or a settler.


So, he's 40 and he's telling you that he's not ready to settle down for financial or family reason blah blah blah? I'll tell you the truth, he's a high-risk individual and you're probably wasting your fruitful years with him. If at 40 he cannot sort out his marital future and priorities, then he's not worth the time. No matter the fine boy swag.

11. Make no mistake. Men tend to mistake friendly behaviour for flirting.


So, you have to be careful of the signs you give to other men. When you're out with your man, be careful how you talk, look and smile with other men. Most men don't understand the reason behind the friendliness between their girlfriends and other men, and may see it as a call for attention. You can save yourself a lot of trouble by just behaving in the right way.

12. If he's so timid to buy a pack of condoms, he won't be bold enough to stand up for you when things go wrong. Run!


So, he's so timid to go out and buy a pack of condoms but bold enough to want s*x? This kind of man is the most dangerous of all. When things go wrong, they go on extinct. They're the fly-by-night boyfriends and you should avoid them by all means. Gently push him aside and run for your dear life.

13. There's a huge difference between love in the movies and the ones you'll eventually encounter. The Nollywood version doesn't exist.


You shouldn't compare what you see in the movies with what you get in your relationships. It's not as sweet as you see it on TV. Nollywood is a play. This is reality.

14. If you can't prove your love to her without spending your cash, you won't be able to find romance when you don't have the cash.


Money is vital in every relationship, no doubt. But if money rule all your decisions and activities, it won't be long before you'll be the ATM machine for another guy's girlfriend.

15. Dating is not a contract. You only have to give your best and enjoy it while it last. Finding a prince demands that you kiss a few toads.


Stop being a cry-baby when your relationships don't work. There are no sureties and it can go burst at any moment. All you have to do is take your lessons and move unto another relationship. The more you put your lessons into practice the closer you are to finding a prince/princess.

16. If he's not communicating enough, there's a big chance that secrets are involved. Vice versa.


There's no substitute for proper communication if you want your relationships to blossom. Constant communication breeds understanding and mutual growth. If you're not communicating enough, there's a huge probability that some secrets lies somewhere. It's that simple.

17. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Then, find someone who's capable of complementing them.


If you want a mutually-beneficial relationship, you need to look out for someone who need what you have and can give what you need. It may not be as perfect as you want, but if you see some signs, you should give it a try.

18. How do you know if someone really care about you? Ask them. If they say an outright yes, they don't. If they say No, they don't either. If they say something else in the affirmative they do. But, the reality is, you can't be sure 100% of the time.


Like I said, there are no guarantees. But you can know if someone truly cares, not just by their words but their actions in a long period of time. Just saying yes doesn't make them true. They must go ahead and prove it to you. Love is not a talking word. It's an action word.

19. If his family doesn't know about you, there's a huge chance you're the other girl. Vice versa.


So, you've been dating this guy for over a year now and you've not met any member of his family? Or maybe you're dating in campus and don't have the time to see his family? You're actually a joker and you shouldn't be surprised if this person is just taking you for a ride. The truth is, most families will be happy to get to meet a close friend of their ward. How disappointing it will be when you get to know that you're just on the side line.

20. Ladies, don't get jealous when your ex is buzzing around. Guys buzz from one relationship to another because they date reflexively rather than reflectively. You can't beat that.

So, your ex has just got another date and is still bubbling with life while you sit whining at the corner? Don't get too jealous. Most guys will behave that way just to prove they're still relevant in the dating game. Don't even try that as a lady because it won't work almost all the time.

21. Forget the gimmicks. First impressions doesn't matter. They're sprinkled with disguise and pretense. Find out what you want for yourself.


So, you heard that first impression is all it takes to win the heart of a mate? I heard that too, and so are many others. The truth remains that everyone is doing it right now. On the first date, they pose to be golden when they're made of the old wood. This is the reason why most relationships break down after the first few weeks. This is because pretense don't last and disguise will eventually wear off.

If you want to build a good relationship from the start, don't pay mind to whatever you're seeing at first. Don't mind the dating games men and women play these days. Instead, be patient and learn fast. With time, you'll get to know the real person you're dealing with.

source: http://www.naijalovedoctor.com/2014/10/21-tough-relationship-advice-your.html

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