bigheart2013:
You never marry and you are already planning what you will do with an imaginary wife...haba! What if the woman doesn't want to have joint purse with you, will you force her? Na so fight dey carry start between spiritual wives and spiritual husbands. Please marry first and show us pics on Nairaland to confirm, then ask us this questions. For now I advise you concentrate on your studies and work.

But to help you small, there's nothing wrong if the other partner agrees, but don't force him or her. Simply have a financial plan and budget for your family and let the most frugal person in the house run the budget. Usually women are more financially frugal...u get my verdict.

However joint account works only if a man is making more money, if the woman is making more money, she will never agree to joint account. Ask your dad!

@bolded:

You must taken a poll from all married couples since the world was created.

Amuga:
My husband and i have a joint account, the alert goes to one number (which we all know is his). Few months ago i was so bitter with him, what he does is to send money to his younger sister, with her unending bussiness ideas that we have not seen any profitable one out of them all through that account and immediately delete the alert sent to his phone.
I wont advise my younger sister to operate a joint account.

That aint right. That's a total betrayal of trust. Although, your husband may be trying to avoid a confrontation between you and his sister and so is trying to keep you from knowing about such transfers. Still very wrong.

For me, I get the email alerts and my Lady gets the text alerts. Already, the passcodes to our phones and tabs are the same so each has access to the other's devices.

[quote

author=LewsTherin post=27123662]

That aint right. That's a total betrayal of trust. Although, your
husband may be trying to avoid a confrontation between you and his
sister and so is trying to keep you from knowing about such transfers.
Still very wrong.

For me, I get the email alerts and my Lady gets the text alerts. Exactly
what he said, avoiding a confrontation between us. But the end of it
was more than a confrontation. My income there is not up to 12% of the
total sum but i still deserve to know what goes out because it is called
a joint account.

[quote author=Amuga post=27124390][/quote]

Pardon my curiosity, before your husband started sending money to his sister without yiur knowledge, what were your responses and reactions to your husband in private anytime his sister cones up with another fairytale busuness idea? What is your reaction and response to your husband in private whenever a cock-and-bull idea is presented to him? This may have been the reason he resorted to not informing you.

I'm not defending him. I'm not saying you caused it. I'm saying he may just have felt it was the best of a bunch of bad options

[[ LewsTherin/quote] To be sincere with you, at first i was even the one that encouraged my husband to give her the money to start a bussiness (certainly not from the joint purse) but nothing fruitful came out.
The next time she came up with another story i kicked against it but my husband persuaded me that we should give her another chance, still same story. on the third one i stood my ground and he said ok, not knowing that he gave her the money from the joint account.

bigheart2013:
You never marry and you are already planning what you will do with an imaginary wife...haba! What if the woman doesn't want to have joint purse with you, will you force her? Na so fight dey carry start between spiritual wives and spiritual husbands. Please marry first and show us pics on Nairaland to confirm, then ask us this questions. For now I advise you concentrate on your studies and work.

But to help you small, there's nothing wrong if the other partner agrees, but don't force him or her. Simply have a financial plan and budget for your family and let the most frugal person in the house run the budget. Usually women are more financially frugal...u get my verdict.

However joint account works only if a man is making more money, if the woman is making more money, she will never agree to joint account. Ask your dad!

The bolded is so funny...

Woman...joint acct?
Is God asleep?
Not in ds life..less u want to wake up 1 day wrecked

Amuga:
[[ LewsTherin/quote] To be sincere with you, at first i was even the one that encouraged my husband to give her the money to start a bussiness (certainly not from the joint purse) but nothing fruitful came out.
The next time she came up with another story i kicked against it but my husband persuaded me that we should give her another chance, still same story. on the third one i stood my ground and he said ok, not knowing that he gave her the money from the joint account.

I'm going to try to see things from your husband's point of view. After all, I'm a guy

Your husband loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. But then, he loves his sister too. Don't force him to choose between you and her. You can't win. He will choose you, but in his subconscious, he'll regret. A regret due to you. So short term you win, long term you loose. Long term matters in till death do you part.

In every family, there is that person you know giving money to is as good as flushing cash down the toilet of someone with diarrhea. But yoy still give them. Why? Because we work for money to make our lives better and easier. Giving those folks removes their wahala. Life becomes easier. Sad but true.

My advice. When next she asks, give your husband ideas on how he can advice her to make this new business work. If she comes back again, do the same. At most, tell him to wait for a particular cash inflow you both are waiting for. But never tell him not to give her. You can help him delay, but never say no. Let your husband know his family means as much to you as it does to him. Sooner or later, for his own sake, he'll shut her down himself or she'll get better.

I am being simplistic because typing on a tablet is a real pain! But I believe you get the general idea

[quote
author=LewsTherin post= You are not being objective here, i will certainly not create an avenue for him to choose between me and any of his siblings. I happen to be the secound to the last of my family, and some of my elder ones were married as far back as when i was in jss1 and their wives did'nt so why should i do unto someone what i wouldn't want another to do to me. I was even the one that forced my husband to give her the first cash and i wont want to disclose the amount here but it was quite a large sum.
Thank you so much for the delay tatics idea you gave to me, i will definently use it.

There is no right or wrong answer as each couple is different and have different needs/different type of people
It suits some people and doesnt suit others

We have a joint account and have always had one from day one. It works for us. The advantage is that I know how much is available before I spend and it makes me a more responsible spender.
It also brings us closer becasue we discuss projects together and work things out together. We also both know what each of us is doing.

We both also have personal accounts where our personal money goes, so we can surprise each other with gifts without having to dip into the joint account and sometimes hubby will give me a lump sum to spend on whatever I want. That comes from his own account.

Like I said it works for us but not to say it will work for everyone, so people should just pick what suits them, besides not everyone has a regular income. So a business man who brings home money daily may find it easier just to give his wife cash, than operate a joint account.

Amuga:
[quote
author=LewsTherin post= You are not being objective here, i will certainly not create an avenue for him to choose between me and any of his siblings. I happen to be the secound to the last of my family, and some of my elder ones were married as far back as when i was in jss1 and their wives did'nt so why should i do unto someone what i wouldn't want another to do to me. I was even the one that forced my husband to give her the first cash and i wont want to disclose the amount here but it was quite a large sum.
Thank you so much for the delay tatics idea you gave to me, i will definently use it.

Of course I'm not being objective! I'm trying to look at it solely from a guy's point of view. No offense intended tho'.

I'm also not saying that making him choose was what you wanted to do or was what you even did. I'm saying a guy will look at the situation as helping his dear sister or pleasing his beloved wife, ergo choosing between wife or family.

My personal example. I run a family business started by my folks. My Lady and I manage it together. Extended family that would previously have called my dad or mom for cash now call me. And I'm not talking about only extended family that are nice and helpful and careful and hardworking and just need a little push kind of people. I'm talking about people that once told my dad "your father trained us. Now it's time for you to train our children" I mean WTF!! . Well, sometime back someone called and asked me to send some money. My Lady said "now I understand why some rich people don't help their family members. People don't understand what they go through to make money and some people just call and ask anyhow simply because they hear there is money". That day had been one heck of a stressful day and it wasn't over yet. I don't mind helping the folk but I will not be exploited. What she said helped create walls in my head that help filter family that require help or just a little push from those that only want to exploit me. She has never said I shouldn't send money to those that ask. In fact, when I get angry and say I won't send, she tries to calm me down and still says I should send. But she always gives good advice that helps me ensure I don't just blow money cos we have it, especially when business is good and we have extra cash.

Same advice I am trying to give you here. It's good you encouraged him to start. He may have started anyways. But it must have felt real good to him that you supported him. We males like feeling good from our females' support. It's one of the best feelings we get. The more we feel that feeling, the higher a pedestal we build for our ladies.

But then, I'm just talking. Like James Blunt said, opinions are like arseholes - everybody has one!

Nope I won't do it bc it ll cause more problems than it ll solve nevadless we ll budget n plan our family expenditures together while everyone manages his/her money n contributes to family projects n expenses as appropriate with me as d man taking d bigger part.

[quote author=LewsTherin post=27157456][/quote] Thank you so much for this advice, i appreciate.
The reason why i stood my ground at the third attempt was at that same time she came up with the first bussiness idea, i also want to go into bussiness. I 've stop working for some time now and to be a full time housewife is a no no for me. But i had my reason why i allowed her own push through and i made sure it was a reasonable amount.
Some folks just feel because you stay in a big house and drive cars means you have money (I mean physical cash) at all time

Amuga:

Some folks just feel because you stay in a big house and drive cars means you have money (I mean physical cash) at all time

I tire bo! They don't know that there are lean times when only what you've saved carries you through.

Don't mind me at all. All I wanted to point out is that a joint account is only another step in a couple being closer. Like CC said, discussions on joint spendings brings you guys together especially when a couple follows Phillipians 2.3 (which happens to be the verse my Lady and I chose to base our relationship on) - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself (NIV)

God bless your home bros

I like the fact you decide to live by Christian principles and not just be Christian by mouth

LewsTherin:


I tire bo! They don't know that there are lean times when only what you've saved carries you through.

Don't mind me at all. All I wanted to point out is that a joint account is only another step in a couple being closer. Like CC said, discussions on joint spendings brings you guys together especially when a couple follows Phillipians 2.3 (which happens to be the verse my Lady and I chose to base our relationship on) - Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself (NIV)

bukatyne:
God bless your home bros

I like the fact you decide to live by Christian principles and not just be Christian by mouth

Thanks.