Tashamania:
Frustrated married nairalanders be discouraging others since God knows when

slinkky:
You don't want to, but you really sound weird to me. Any basis for such a farfetched opinion.

Sunshinelady:
. I swear dat movie rilly touched me. See eh, God is rilly d foundation of any happy marriage. Anybody dat tinks its beauty, or moni or his or her own smartness, hmm d pesin shuld hav a rethink

liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

coogar:


•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

DSuperWoman:
my dear I sound weird to me too and I really pray I'm wrong. My dear my farfetched opinion was formulated from other peoples experiences I've seen. Thrice for that matter. Ladies who had slept with their fathers always compared their husbands to them no matter what they did. Being unhappy and unsatisfied with your husband is one thing but comparing him to your dad makes me remember the other ladies I know with this problem. But it might not be the case sha

liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

soledadd:
@ scyllapatron

i just checked you out. You are just a joker at your age. Anyway wisdom does not have anything to do with age, i pardon you. What is even your advice on this issue? May be that of a drunkared when there is free beer before him. I pity your wife

Guardianangel:
I've always entered this forum as a guest to but today, my spirit has been vexed through this topic to join nairaland.
Firstly at Op, do you think we woman do not bear all the abuses you take us through in marriage? For the sake of your post I'll narrate my predicament of an over 6 years marriage with 3 children. My hubby is over ten yrs older than me. I've gone thru and still going thru one of the worst relationship a woman can have with a man. He never says sorry for errors on his part, never says thank you for efforts I put in the marriage be it financially or physically, has never bought me a birthday , anniversary or even one cloth, I buy all by myself. Not that I'm bothered with material things but just a show of care will do as I know he's not so rich but just struggling.
now the big issue is that I'm going thru emotional abuse. I love sex like crazy but he's decided to pocket his "machine" . I always like him to clean up every night before bedtime but he's the type that hardly showers 2wice or even more. Sometimes I do endure the sweaty body scent during the act just for the sake of peace if not, na war. I try to turn my nose away though...what does a woman do when her man thinks he doesnt needb to be appealing towards her? .....that has resulted in great act of masturbation for me in fact, I'm considering a sweeter option... intimacy gadgets! And oh yes, I'd really still very attractive and still get advances from both single and ready men but I made a vow and do wanna keep it.
This is a man that I've spoken to several times, tried to make happy, told what pleases me but yet remains adamant to my cries....
If not because of this post, I'll never have voiced out so, you men should be careful how you behave in marriage. Simply because a woman cherishes her children and desires a happy role model of a home does not mean we cannot do the unimaginable.
@op, pls go back to your wife, thank her for her patience thus far, re strategies new methods for a happy her. Begin to do the little things she likes which you never did, do some TLC, listen to Luther Vandrose's."Buy me a rose". Most of all, be a man and not a weakling cos every woman is only attracted to a man who can at least partially fulfill her fantasy.
good luck!

Bunsky:
Bun,does it sound funny?

coogar:


•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

Chai ! Dere iz Godu oooooooo.

Rosarie:
u can nva ve it perfect.ve u evr hit yr wife.why is she nt working yet 2 share her salary to her pple

Viciyus:
@op. are we there when you first fall in love with her? NO, are we there when you married her? NO, are we there when this problem started? NO. and so therefore we are not going to be there when you divorce or solve your problem. all i am trying to say is that try to seek GOD not nairaland for advice. we NL might lead you to make the worse mistake in your life time.

DukeNija:


Bros abeg no vex o, is it your wife who doubles as life partner and mother of your children you are referring to with such disdain?
You seem to be a very angry person who feels he's doing a woman a favor by marrying her. I am not married, but I felt the urge to say I am very disappointed in your choice of words towards your wife. I take care of people who are not even related to me by blood, financially and otherwise and I never feel I'm doing them a favour, how much more my own family.

You sound like you were forced to marry her, like you didn't propose to this woman, didn't buy her an engagement ring and all that, like she was begging to become your wife. I went through your post and I couldn't even find what she did so wrong for you to hate her this much, even up to the point of contemplating divorce.

Using words like "putting her under my roof", "feeding her and our kids" "bitching about everything" is just too disrespectful to your wife and I'm afraid your marital challenges can be traced to your negative attitude towards your her. Please approach your marriage with a better countenance and see your wife as you see yourself by truly loving her and sincerely appreciating her contributions to your home. And yes you need to praise her for cooking, cleaning after you and your child, taking care of you and maintaining the home. Yes, you must praise her. Try telling her how much you appreciate her efforts and cooking, and how delicious her food is and see if she won't be overjoyed and do something special for you.
Women complain a lot, my mom, sisters, gf every woman I know can complain, it just doesn't make them bad people. That's just their way of communicating sometimes.

And pls if you are tired of putting her under your roof, u can send her to me. I have a very large flat with four rooms that can comfortably accommodate her. *Just kidding*

voodoo85:


U r saying that she doesnt do anything , jst staying at home. Let me ask u those questions:
R u fed?
Is the house clean?
Is child fed, dressed etc?
R your clothes cleaned?

soledadd:
@Scyllapatron


If you think you are an elder with some experience you have to show it. Following your posts i saw irresponsibility even at you age. Its your kind of person that goes around pedling egocentrism all in the name of helping people sort their matital problems. At the end you lead them to destruction. I have said and still maintain that you are drunkard. Because your posts sujest it. Gone are days when women are so cheap for you to manipulate. Fool. Read other peoples post on this thread and and learn from men who know how to manage their family.

Homguy:
that was a sad story, sorry for the loss. I hope you did learn from it. If I may ask, is that the root of your signature?

ShoryuKen:
People in the ancient past married for position (royals to royals, etc.), and people in the recent past married for romance (romanticized by literature); but, with the advanced personality developments these days (overboard feminism, ideologies, séxual liberation, etc.), people should marry for philosophy – i.e. not to impress ones family, friends, or boost social status – do it from YOUR own convictions/the personality fit of a potential partner.

Philosophically, we should marry to be HAPPY; if you're not, it's advisable to quit it. Don't stay for any dogmatic reasons like family's impression, others gossip, or the popular one: "for the kids" – they'll probably be worse off psychologically in the long run, being around a loveless people, who are in a union that's been romanticized to project love.

Think deep about it, about YOUR future, then act – for personal reasons, and not dogmatic ones like religion, or societal opinions.

...bon voyage!

slinkky:
Hmmmmm you have a valid reason for your assumptions. I hope for the OP sake your assumptions for his troubled marriage is wrong. But like you said earlier they need God's intervention no matter what the cause of their marital problems may be.
By the way stories like the op's make me scared of marriage. God help us all. Op i pray you and your wife find peace and love in your home.

cupidora:
Watch "Fireproof",its an insightful movie about how to keep a marriage/make a marriage work.