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TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by 5minsmadness: 3:05pm On Oct 18, 2014
@op OK I have finally caught up smiley

I have read everything everyone has said and I still maintain that your wife is not a devil. She just needs guidance and to know who is in authority.

Its all up to you. The love sleep has cleared from both your eyes. The work part of marriage has begun. I believe you would have already sat her down and explained things to her before. If you haven't please do so again. Then become the enforcer. Don't get physical on her but let her know that YOUR word is law. Ensure she does not sleep until she does everything you want her to do. In fairness, if you have no nanny or house help it will be a bit difficult and you may have to help her out in a few chores but be reasonable about it as well, don't 'overhelp' her.

Make sure she does not sit idle and watch TV while you starve, make her realise the television is yours, not because you can't buy another TV but because you are trying to establish authority. If she mentions her father CLEARLY TELL HER that you are not him, this is your house and she will live by your rules. Make a list of the things she does that annoys you abs tell her to do the same. Then while you try and change ensure she changes her behaviour in the list as well.

It is called working it out. Unless she is a witch from thepit of hell it will work because what you don't realise is that in all her misbehavior she also wants a better marriage.

Mk3jax, same goes for you.

8 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 10:45pm On Oct 18, 2014
EfemenaXY:


Present ma!

Been a bit busy of late but I'm good. You?

Happy weekend dear smiley kiss kiss

Happy to hear you are good. kiss kiss kiss
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by EfemenaXY: 11:42pm On Oct 18, 2014
liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

This is what you get when a guy chooses to marry a lady based on looks as opposed to personality and grey matter "up there".

Guy, man up and deal with it.

6 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Fkforyou(m): 11:47pm On Oct 18, 2014
Bootybuttchic:
and its the man who gets all the blame,this man just said something thats bothering his marital life,and everyone is leashing on him like hes a woman hater,too many hypocrites on nairaland,so u tink a woman cant do all he listed up there smh....its why i avoid female freinds.....why cant u just advice or ignore......,..,nairalanders and their super perfect life..mstweeew



mk3jax and @op God will help ur marriage just be praying,remember God can do everything....and try communicating with her.....i pray she is the type that can understand sha..,.cos when u talk to some people,what they understand iswhat they are thinking from their own mind.....they just go all anticlockwise on u.....it is well
.Thank you for beign honest,the woman is beign unfair to him yet everyone is still advicing him to pet and cajole her as if she is the victim,suppose other wise was the case we all know how some lot will be sreaming foul play\abuse urging her to divorce him. @OP just like freshdude said its time to be in control of your life and don't hesitate to speak up mind,too trying to please her or feeling as if you are the one at fault all the time will further increase her disdain towards you.

4 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 6:07am On Oct 19, 2014
carefreewannabe:


Where have Cococandy and EfemenaXY been lately? sad
And where is Aisha2?

Present. grin grin grin. Doing some TLC things

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by ayusco85(m): 1:41pm On Oct 19, 2014
I have always hated marriage, honestly I don't knw why

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 1:42pm On Oct 19, 2014
mk3jax:


Don't worry since you're not married. I was also very positive of women when i was single and didn't really understand what men go through when they complain about their wife. Many women are very different when they get married. They believe they own the man and he has no say in his life any more. I will not argue with you abut hope you get the right woman when you marry. I said all the positive things you are saying above when I was single until I saw the reality of being married to someone that complain about everything you do.

Sir, I owe you a bottle of Andre Rosa. ....

8 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 1:45pm On Oct 19, 2014
Guy, on your wedding day you said 'Yes i Do". You must "do" ooo . grin

5 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by lawrenceunaa: 1:45pm On Oct 19, 2014
op first sort things out with ur wife
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 1:45pm On Oct 19, 2014
E NOR GO BETTER FOR GOD WICKED THING THAT MADE ME LOOSE ALL I HAD
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 1:47pm On Oct 19, 2014
?
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by lonelydora: 1:47pm On Oct 19, 2014
Marriage is like a heavy load on your head, if you think it's too heavy drop it and move on. If you think it's too light you move ahead with it. For me 2 years plus, I don't even feel I'm carrying any load on head and I don't pray to feel so.

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Sanguine77(m): 1:48pm On Oct 19, 2014
She is cheating on you and believes the other man is better than you. Continue doing your best for your family especially your children. Be a good husband to your wife and believe you me, one day, she will break down and confess her short comings.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by ATMC(f): 1:50pm On Oct 19, 2014
#scary...

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by eleko1: 1:52pm On Oct 19, 2014
sad sad sad embarassedDivorce isn't the solution.Sit her down and have heart to heart discussion.I believe she'll change.Biko,no divorce her,she'll change
liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by kmny00001: 1:53pm On Oct 19, 2014
Pray and fast for 7days. There is nothin Too bigfor GOD.

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by 50calibre(m): 1:53pm On Oct 19, 2014
Times are evolving, and we have to evolve as well to survive.

Marriage is no longer necessary... these days, it's like a gamble to be honest, nothing is certain, nothing is guaranteed.

Many dudes don't even want to get married anymore, and I think it's reasonable. Just knock up your girlfriend and let her pop out a few kids, then leave it at that. You live your life in peace!!

If you must get married, go in expecting the worse but hoping for the best, that way, nothing would surprise you & you won't be left disappointed.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:00pm On Oct 19, 2014
liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?


that is what happens when you marry a woman that is more into the wedding than into the man..... wedding is over marriage has started.....there is no need for pretense anymore......she has achieved her aim and thats all that matters...... I will take it a little bit further to prove something to you..... look are her DP, When was the last time u saw your self as her DP.... It is either ur child or some inspirational write up..... never the spouse. that is how you know women who are just there because society wants them to be there not because of the man the married

14 Likes 4 Shares

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:01pm On Oct 19, 2014
These are more reasons why am not thinking of getting married anytime soon.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by gistmelove(m): 2:04pm On Oct 19, 2014
@op hope na the babe wey u talk about here https://www.nairaland.com/985034/dick-sucking

if na she ride on she will still change

oniranu oshi grin

if no b she.. That mean someone here on nairaland as showed her this thread

4 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:05pm On Oct 19, 2014
liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?

1) Life is too short to be living in unhappiness.

2) Life should be good, happy and full of joy.

3) I'm sure that like the rest of us you deal with your share of unhappy customers, co workers or boss at work.

4) You don't need to come home to your castle and deal with the same, at least form another adult. Especially an adult that her primary job is to create a harmonious environment in the house.

5) You owe it to your children to give a cursory attempt at resolution (most children from divorced families are usually screwed up) but ultimately not at the expense of your own happiness.

6) If all else fails and after your own set deadline please file for divorce.

7) Divorce doesn't have any stigma attached to it if executed with deliberate actions.

Okay I'm done with my political correct BS.

Here's my ultimate answer, dump the fng beoytch, today.

3 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:05pm On Oct 19, 2014
My friend. Humans change, but it's how you embrace the chance that's what makes you a man. If she has changed, there must be something you are doing wrong. I pray to have a very wonderful marriage and even if she changes, I will roll with the tide.

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by sorepco(m): 2:05pm On Oct 19, 2014
[color=#000099][/color]my guy i feel your pain...u come across as a good man...keep it up bro. Like someone advised, hava a one to one discussion with her and let her say what is eating her to misbehave thus!! you will be surprised at what she says about you, your character and how you have changed in the pass two years from a luvly husband to a control freak/monster. note, let her do the talking and u the ilistening. do not interrupt her till she finishes her lamentations!! then and then only you promise her you will change; and tell her 3 things she does that anger you. Thats the trial ad tribulation of marriage you have to learn to live with. her stubbornness could be a sign of showing you u r hurting her, as she loves u so much to leave u.
try this, ad u see the changes in her.
Man, my wife has some of these traits; but she dare not let anyone else than her brig me my food; talkless of not cooking for me!! not that i will beat her or argue, o! she just knows since the past 4 years that she can misbehave and be stubborn anytime she likes; i will tolerate it; but she dare not joke with my food; or dont tell me b4 hand when and where she will be going out. I made her know those two things are points of no return.....SHE SABI SAY MY FOOD NA MY LIFE!!!

good luck bro




liyuboy:
Hello Peep, i need ur advise,, i am married to a woman i tot was of a certain characteristics upon marriage and two years down the line my only source of happiness are the two children (Boy and Girl) we have.

Despite all I do (as bread winner) to please her she is not appreciative, she disrespect me, she doesn't cook for me, she complains too much, she compares me to her father daily even though i have told her her mother has a better character than her that is why her father would do anything to please her.

I am always unhappy becos of her character, i am thinking of seeking divorce.

What do u guys think?
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Bibol(f): 2:07pm On Oct 19, 2014
ARES:



that is what happens when you marry a woman that is more into the wedding than into the man..... wedding is over marriage has started.....there is no need for pretense anymore......she has achieved her aim and thats all that matters...... I will take it a little bit further to prove something to you..... Look at her DP, When was the last time u saw your self as her DP.... It is either ur child or some inspirational write up..... never the spouse. that is how you know women who are just there because society wants them to be there not because of the man the married

@Bolded, weird line of thought but there's truth in this

3 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by germainediva(f): 2:07pm On Oct 19, 2014
alutacontinua:



Did your supplier mix something else with your weed? angry undecided




@op, have you talked to your wife about these changes?
like it or not, the most important thing to a woman from a man is not money, so, forget about the 'I take care of her financially' part.
A normal, sane woman does not exhibit all of those characteristics at once, not to a very wonderful husband. She's most likely reacting to something. Have you cheated or are you cheating on her? Do you have unresolved issues? How's the sex life? Etc etc......I seriously believe your wife is reacting to an equal but opposite action, identify the action and you can move from there.




However, if you're strongly convinced that this woman has just made it her life ambition to frustrate you for no reason, then, you have a psycho on your hand-you know what to do wink
your comment show lots of maturity.........can we be friends
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:08pm On Oct 19, 2014
_

7 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by major466(m): 2:11pm On Oct 19, 2014
This is a difficult one. It's not easy living with the same woman bashing you everyday like APC (Symbol as Angry Woman) bashed GEJ every second. The woman is yet to grow up. Try and tolerate her. She's still your wife. I have no business saying this cos am not married myself but I think the right thing to do is to love her and listen to her. Take care of her and the children like you always do. One day she will come around.

1 Like

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:11pm On Oct 19, 2014
[deleted]

3 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by gistmelove(m): 2:12pm On Oct 19, 2014
Sanguine77:
She is cheating on you and believes the other man is better than you. Continue doing your best for your family especially your children. Be a good husband to your wife and believe you me, one day, she will break down and confess her short comings.

or the op his cheating on her??

See evidence here >> https://www.nairaland.com/985034/dick-sucking

3 Likes

Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by sulmeza(m): 2:12pm On Oct 19, 2014
coogar:


•she doesn't respect you
•she doesn't appreciate you
•she is a moaner
•she compares you to her father all the time.

divorce isn't even needed now. man up & give her father a call. break it down to him how he has failed as a father to bring up her daughter the proper way.

tell him how disappointed you are to have been scammed to marry a damaged good(his daughter). tell him you are few inches away from driving a dagger into his daughter's heart & if care is not taken, he would be burying his daughter instead of celebrating christmas....

trust me, things would change......

u jt kiddin..ryt?
Re: TWO Years In Marriage!!! The Feeling, The Realization And Surprise. by Nobody: 2:12pm On Oct 19, 2014
thorpido:
^^^Phema has spoken well.
Honestly,I don't understand the part where he has to keep fending for the wife's family.I thought you do these things at your own discretion and occasionally.
well said. As if the Man doesn't have enough responsibilities of his own.Some Women Sha.I pray to have my own fund to cater for my family needs.If my hubby deems it fit to give them anything out of his own free will,I appreciate him.But to make it mandatory, Nah .I wan kill am?

1 Like

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