I didn't fall in love all through my stay in school from my remedial days until my final year (500L). It was July 2008... I was in a hurry to meet my project supervisor who happened to be a visiting lecturer. Even in the heat of the event, once I sighted her, I knew I was already in love. Linda was a hundred level student in the Political science department.

I had to continue with the day's business because if I missed the appointment with my supervisor, it will take another two weeks to able to fix another one. But fate still brought us together at an event (jean carnival). It didn't take me much effort to woo her as she was also waiting on me to make the move... The love was overwhelming, it was awesome and inexplicably ecstatic. To the extent that a certain popular group offered to give us the award of best couple on campus, but I declined as I didn't want the public to interfere in what we had.

Time passed and I eventually graduated. Emmy, you must do something to cement this relationship asap, this I told myself because I couldn't stand to watch her leave. 1st I took her home to introduce to my parents and siblings.

While waiting for NYSC, I moved to back to Abuja to see if I could start saving money to towards the rites for cementing the bond. I started selling innovative ideas to big corporations (banks and telecommunications companies). (Story for another day)
And even picked up a job as a secretary for I am a computer literate.

Fast forward, while doing all these, we were communicating fine and things was smooth... For almost a year, we didn't quarrel or had any arguments. We were also best of friends until this young pastor showed his ugly face into what we had.

1st, he brainwashed the girl into believing in him. One day, Linda called to tell me that she ran into one of her childhood friends who became a pastor and that he had offered to counsel us in our relationship. I immediately objected, but she won't give up, on the ground that we needed to take our relationship to God and commit it into his hands...

Ok you can go ahead, I said. Two days later, the dude called to introduce himself to me and subsequently asked me about the magic I did to make Linda talk about me this much. As a man of God that I thought he was, I told him that constant communication was what's kept us until that moment and that she was my best friend too. Little did I know that he was looking for clues and hints on how to woo her too.

The sour moments began when each time I called her, she would be on the phone with the pastor... I tried to stop that, but it seemed I was a little too late. One perception too many, she called the following week to tell me that "we were better off as friends than lovers" I thought it was a prank, but that month wasn't April. When I got to know that she was serious, I com fall sick men... The fever won't let go, even to the extent that my parents had to provide me with an NHIS cover. NB: I called upon the pastor to help me talk to her, but he answered me that I should forget her that she isn't compatible with me.

I later learnt that she was courting the so-called MOG. Vivian her friend who tried to sleep with me but didn't succeed was the one who fueled the breakup. Miriam who always say she wished I was her man was a party to the breakup too. Grace the jealous one who wouldn't hide her jealousy made sure we broke up.
The pastor hypnotised them into succumbing to whatever he asked of them.

It's almost 6yrs now... I've moved on, but I've tried countless times to forgive and forget that dude, but the more I tried, the more I hated him for his deceptivity.

How can forgive him?

did she eventually marry the pastor?

Young MOGs

pokenose:
did she eventually marry the pastor?

Not yet. I haven't heard from her in a while. So, don't know if they re planning to do that.

My broda women cum, women go.... it's nt a big deal ooo, u shld b Hapi dt she left b4 u've said I do... if nt u for just die!!!

wt she did to u is disrespectful anyway, bt here is d koko, one single act of disrespect shows up d character of a prsn dt might av took yrs b4 u discover....saving u d waste of time and resources

Study dt disrespect and learn frm it,

U still angry wt pastor because u re nt ova d girl yet, it takes a girl to kick a girl out, get a better girl and Mk tinz right

I'll come back

This one na story o e suppose they literature §ectioÑ

The story touch so much...I don't know how you can forgive that person oo,because I can kill that kind of person

Hmmm

I'm not in your shoes, but brooding over that pastor is a waste of unavailable time.
Your relationship was with the girl, not the pastor, so in reality, he was/is virtually insignificant to your welfare in all ramifications.
You're just making a mountain out of a mole hill by committing him to mind.
Six years from then is enough time to have garnered heavier priorities that require your attention far better than lazing over dirt-strewn memories.

Matters of the heart die hard but the shortness of life creates no allowance to heal in comfort either.

Keeping grudges only hurt you over, you don't have a choice than to forgive them both.

Move on bro.....it happens to everyone at one phase of our life or the other.

DesChyko:
I'm not in your shoes, but brooding over that pastor is a waste of unavailable time.
Your relationship was with the girl, not the pastor, so in reality, he was/is virtually insignificant to your welfare in all ramifications.
You're just making a mountain out of a mole hill by committing him to mind.
Six years from then is enough time to have garnered heavier priorities that require your attention far better than lazing over dirt-strewn memories.

Matters of the heart die hard but the shortness of life creates no allowance to heal in comfort either.

Wish I could forget that event. Each time something remind me that betrayal, I feel pained, and consequently my dislike for that dude would gain momentum.

If only there's a delete button on our memories...

wow.. are women really this shallow minded?? brother just move on there are better women out there... I don't know why when someone calls himself a pastor the way people will just be respecting and regarding him just like that. there are very useless deceptive and irresponsible so called pastors.

Your story is quite touching, but no matter how long it'll take and how difficult it is for U to forgive the Pastor, I think TIME is what U need. It's not about counting the number of years but giving room for the wound to heal.

It's good to know that U actually want to forgive the pastor, which shows how kind U are as a person, but I'll still repeat it that U need Time coz it's obvious u've not completely gotten over the breakup. With time, everything fall back into space especially when another special and right lady walks into ur life again, if there is none yet.
One love bro...

I must commend your write-up, it was really clear and easy to understand.

I must admit with you the shock and disappointment you felt back then. Indeed, it was enormous I should think.

However, that event just bettered your future. Your horizon got widened and you just got wisened and more relationship ready.

Let go of this feeling of resentment over that pastor, he's not worth it. He just took over a potential time bomb that once hovered around you in the shape of a girl.

Move on, try to love again but this time, find better and love better.

The people above me have already advised you well.

6 yrs ago, and you are still thinking of how to forgive.
continue dwelling in de past ur mate ve graduated to de future

Applaner:
6 yrs ago, and you are still thinking of how to forgive.
continue dwelling in de past ur mate ve graduated to de future

I wish you'd understand; things like movies, or whenever I see other young pastors, read stories about breakups and etc... Often cast my mind back to the effects I suffered as a result of the snaky dude's deception.

I feel played & betrayed by that dude... I wonder what he'll do to the members of his church.

just let it go dearie..remember dat FORGIVENESS is not someting we do for OTHER PEOPLE. we do it for OURSELVES to GET WELL and MOVE ON.. so dear forgive d MOG and move on with ur life..

I don't see how the pastor is the problem, your ex girlfriend is an adult and should be responsible for any decision she takes.

She left you for the pastor, the pastor is also a man so forget the man of God title attached to his name, this is just a normal everyday situation to me, a guy woos a girl he fancys and she fell for him, how's that a crime?

Your ex is just very shallow and kinda dumb(judging from your story)except something else happened that we don't know of, the pastor may have been a better dude for her which she may have realized, so stop beefing the man and be thankful you didn't marry a woman who would have left you at the slightest nudge from another man. A single man/woman is still on the market and can be priced by anyone, whomever he/she decides to choose is his/her prerogative, you only claim rights if you were married.

Move the feck on man, she made her choice.

Nigerian females sha

freecocoa:
I don't see how the pastor is the problem, your ex girlfriend is an adult and should be responsible for any decision she takes.

She left you for the pastor, the pastor is also a man so forget the man of God title attached to his name, this is just a normal everyday situation to me, a guy woos a girl he fancys and she fell for him, how's that a crime?

Your ex is just very shallow and kinda dumb(judging from your story)except something else happened that we don't know of, the pastor may have been a better dude for her which she may have realized, so stop beefing the man and be thankful you didn't marry a woman who would have left you at the slightest nudge from another man. A single man/woman is still on the market and can be priced by anyone, whomever he/she decides to choose is his/her prerogative, you only claim rights if you were married.

Move the feck on man, she made her choice.

Thank for your contribution. However, the so-called MOG came under a pretense, like the old serpent. (A wolf in a sheep clothing)

I won't be this pained if he didn't offer to counsel us with the view to committing the then relationship into the hands of God.

I guess you were too in a hurry to acknowledge that part.

Ipledge:
The story touch so much...I don't know how you can forgive that person oo,because I can kill that kind of person

LMAO....

bossminded:
My broda women cum, women go.... it's nt a big deal ooo, u shld b Hapi dt she left b4 u've said I do... if nt u for just die!!!

wt she did to u is disrespectful anyway, bt here is d koko, one single act of disrespect shows up d character of a prsn dt might av took yrs b4 u discover....saving u d waste of time and resources

Study dt disrespect and learn frm it,

U still angry wt pastor because u re nt ova d girl yet, it takes a girl to kick a girl out, get a better girl and Mk tinz right

yeah thats true, it takes a girl to kick a girl out....

@ops... it has been six good yrs n u still have d feelings?wow! that girl most have lost d love of her life. move on with ur life n be happy because she dont dezave u, u are too good for her. there are many good girls out their thats will make u happy because it only takes a girl to kick a girl out. n as for the d pastor don't worry ursef because what goes around comes around. so sorry for this....

emmyrichie:


Thank for your contribution. However, the so-called MOG came under a pretense, like the old serpent. (A wolf in a sheep clothing)

I won't be this pained if he didn't offer to counsel us with the view to committing the then relationship into the hands of God.

I guess you were too in a hurry to acknowledge that part.

Ofcourse I got that part but still, people will always pretend/lie to get what they want so you should never assume, especially about people you don't really know, I don't really blame you for trusting the dude though, you didn't know any better.

Now I sounded the way I did in my other post because you make it seem like the if the guy is to blame forgetting that your ex had a part in it all, she made the choice, if this pastor hadn't come along, I bet she would have left with another man so stop acting like she was a child who couldn't tell her left from her right.

The only wrong the said man of God did, was lying and manipulating you, now if you say that's what you can't forgive him for, then I understand but I'll never agree that he stole a grown woman from you.

Der re many fishes in d ocean

emmyrichie:


Wish I could forget that event. Each time something remind me that betrayal, I feel pained, and consequently my dislike for that dude would gain momentum.

If only there's a delete button on our memories...

You know, it's not easy to forget.
It's almost impossible to forget events that make you bleed.
But life goes on.
I'm like that as well, finding it difficult to forget hurt for I almost never hurt people.
Still, you, as well as I, have our lives in front of us. We just have to keep forging ahead.
Not asking you to simply forget. Just telling you to focus on what is in front of you. With time, the pain would be as far away as the memory.

jnrbayano:
I must commend your write-up, it was really clear and easy to understand.

I must admit with you the shock and disappointment you felt back then. Indeed, it was enormous I should think.

However, that event just bettered your future. Your horizon got widened and you just got wisened and more relationship ready.

Let go of this feeling of resentment over that pastor, he's not worth it. He just took over a potential time bomb that once hovered around you in the shape of a girl.

Move on, try to love again but this time, find better and love better.

The people above me have already advised you well.

Thanks man!

freecocoa:
Ofcourse I got that part but still, people will always pretend/lie to get what they want so you should never assume, especially about people you don't really know, I don't really blame you for trusting the dude though, you didn't know any better.

Now I sounded the way I did in my other post because you make it seem like the if the guy is to blame forgetting that your ex had a part in it all, she made the choice, if this pastor hadn't come along, I bet she would have left with another man so stop acting like she was a child who couldn't tell her left from her right.

The only wrong the said man of God did, was lying and manipulating you, now if you say that's what you can't forgive him for, then I understand but I'll never agree that he stole a grown woman from you.

Thanks all the same.

Brewing grudge for six whole years against a dude over an adult female lover who jilted you? So pathetic how you've made yourself a prisoner of heartbreak for this long! Forgive him and become a freeman; hate on and remain a prisoner. Your relationship with that girl would still have failed at a point in time. From your narration above, it obviously was a wishy-washy fairytale rooted in flash romance. Proof? One hurdle, everything crashes. Be grateful it failed pretty early before you even threw your all into it. Be grateful, forgive them, make progress again. Cheers!