Hi guys,
remember me? i was here with my axe and dagger a few weeks back. both of which I have re-treated and have found inner peace and let go of my anger. I think.
My BF and I finally sat down to have a heart to heart talk last week, after he gave me hell by ignoring me for 2 weeks, and i thought we came up with a resolution to the problem. we re-strutured a few things, i agreed to let go my rage and 'respect' him more and so on and so forth. Finally after much display of emotions, we agreed that i should give him till the weekend to get used to the idea of being back together so that routine can fall back into place. It didnt stop us from kissing as if it was the end of the world sha. he told me he loves me like crazy.

He suprised me by coming to my office on Friday, and trust me i took him behind and smooched the common sense outta him.
Now, last week ended yesterday, so i sent a message to say can baby come home now? below is the reply i got.

' hi baby, truth is i am honestly not sure anymore, i almost do not feel you anymore, sorry, i have tried working on myself but it's just not coming naturally. thats why i keep asking for time, i do not want to jump start it by us 'coming together' lets see how it goes'

My heart stopped beating for a while after that cos i was thinking so what the hell was the fretting all about? shouldnt this message have been passed the day we sat to chat, why did he come over? to give me a good bye kiss? i am completely confused. i sent a message saying 'thank you' and just backed off. i haven't called or texed after then and neither has he.

What do i do now? should i just lay low and keep my fingers crossed? or should i just move on even though i know it will probably almost kill me? is he looking for some sort of clue as to how i would react or what? right now i have no clues at all as what may be going through his fat head.

Guys i need your expertise here.

You know . . .I think you should . . .walk away from your relationship for a while . . .He(your bloc) is obviously not "there" yet . . .but there's nothing that a lil absense can't cure . . .

Look at it this way . . .You keep the NOW silent state for a while . .

He returns . . Then its your decision to take him back or not . .

After 4 weeks, he still does not return to plea his way back . . .Then you begin the healing process . . .as you "painfully" walk away and begin the healing process . ._{Thank goodness you have a job, sink 70% of yourself in it and give the other 30 to Family & friends . . .Hope you have friends 'cos you'd need them now more than ever}

cheers

Eeeeyah!! I feel you girl . .

I think Nautillus is right . . give it a break . . . let him even decide what he wants!!

my advise, i think u shld give this relationship some space, say 6months, to allow him get in touch with his feeling. i sincerely think he wants a little freedom. its not about u, u sound really nice and okay, he just needs to explore a little more. i think he loves u though.

Give some space girl!

The guy doesn't know what he wants or maybe he is just using you,

just let go for a while!

Oh lawdy. . . you must be going through HELL now.
Unfortunately, this guy might never change. Just brace yourself for the worst and know that it might truly be the end of your relationship.
Sorry dear.

I agree that you should give him some space but that could have both ways, good or bad. Within that space period esp the 6months, isn't it possible for him to meet another person?

Give him some space.

Heal your heart and move on. Dont sit by the phone waiting for him to call or come by. If it is ment to be it will be.

What is ones mans trash is another mans treasure. If he is out there trying to sow his wild oats then please dont sit on the sidelines and wait for him to stop playing. I think that he may love you, only you know this, but he may be tempted by another girl right now and he may want to see if that will work out with her but having you on stand by.

Baby, living your life on standby is not cute nor desireable. Live your life and like the other poster said if he does not come back in 4 weeks, shut your heart and heal.

I wish you the best of luck, I know how hard it is to love someone and they not love you back. He said he is not feeling you right now which translates into there is someone else who has caught my attention.

zarah:

What do i do now? should i just lay low and keep my fingers crossed? or should i just move on even though i know it will probably almost kill me? is he looking for some sort of clue as to how i would react or what? right now i have no clues at all as what may be going through his fat head.

Guys i need your expertise here.

U have got nothing to lose sticking with him.
This might be an acid test for you.
STAY STAY STAY!!!!!!!!!

he has already made up his mind and its two things:

- he's realised he doesnt really want you as the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with

- He's met someone else who has something you dont have.

Giving him time for what really? Too bad . . . but i think we all need to realise one lesson here; great sex, a great relationship on the surface doesnt mean anything when a guy is ready to make a long term commitment.

My dear i feel your pain. If i were you i would give him some space cos that is what he is asking for.

There is a girl around the corner that he probably wants to get down with and you been around will sure won't give him space to explore.

Hope you got my drift? let him be the right guy that deserves you will surely come. This incident might even be a blessing in disguise. Dry those tears and move on, ,

another case of chop and clean mouth.simple
@ the guy has had his fill of u and has moved on.
u better move on too cos there is no need to waste time.
he is only doing wat is known as "Gradual Discharging"
but he doesnt want to be hard on u becos
once debe  . . . . .

No, i think the guy is just tired of her. It must be something to do with her temperament.

Nautillus, that's one of the best response I've ever read in this Romance section. I'm in a kind of similar situation with my girlfriend. We were having a nice time when I was at Lag after I went back to school (FUTO) the communication dropped drastically I made most of the phone calls even when I had a robbery incident and I needed her to talk to me she did not call and I called her and she didn't pick, I was furious. I thought things are going to end that way so I decided to concentrate on my degree exam including my project defence. After I was done with the school environment the moment I came back she was all over me I thought we were picking it up from where we left it. Everything came up fresh we got hooked up some couple of times after 3weeks of my stay in Lag her strange behaviour started even when I call she now rejects my calls. So from Nautillus I'll try and go underground for a while and see how it will go

Nautillus, that's one of the best response I've ever read in this Romance section. I'm in a kind of similar situation with my girlfriend. We were having a nice time when I was at Lag after I went back to school (FUTO) the communication dropped drastically I made most of the phone calls even when I had a robbery incident and I needed her to talk to me she did not call and I called her and she didn't pick, I was furious. I thought things are going to end that way so I decided to concentrate on my degree exam including my project defence. After I was done with the school environment the moment I came back she was all over me I thought we were picking it up from where we left it. Everything came up fresh we got hooked up some couple of times after 3weeks of my stay in Lag her strange behaviour started even when I call she now rejects my calls. So from Nautillus' post I'll try and go underground for a while and see how it will go

sniperwolf, i think urs and nautillus' advice skip some important points.

1. they've been dating for 2yrs so this guy knows the chic inside out.

2. He was the one to initiate a 2 week silence, has called for time out and says he's not feeling her AT ALL anymore . . . and you say if she takes a break he may come back? Come back for what?

If absence would be a cure he would have been cured the 2 weeks they were apart, the fact that he still remains adamant shld tell the girl to start looking elsewhere.

Y

ou know . . .I think you should . . .walk away from your relationship for a while . . .He(your bloc) is obviously not "there" yet . . .but there's nothing that a little absense can't cure . . .

Look at it this way . . .You keep the NOW silent state for a while . .

He returns . . Then its your decision to take him back or not . .

After 4 weeks, he still does not return to plea his way back . . .Then you begin the healing process . . .as you "painfully" walk away and begin the healing process

*nods* Sadly this is the truth, zarah.

Good luck.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I see a lot of "Love Doctors" in da house, the babe is prolly more confuse than ever now. All I can say is I wish u well and speedy recovery!

~Sauron~:

U have got nothing to lose sticking with him.
This might be an acid test for you.
STAY STAY STAY!!!!!!!!!

The things she has to lose:  Time, her respect, dignity, self esteem . . not to mention the heartache she will feel.

Anybody who would put his GF through such a test is definitely not worth the stress  

I'd say she should walk . .  even the guy wont blame her for that!!

Another Doctor, seconded by me!

Thank you all, wow help is still far away it seems.
I feel the people asking me to let go. right now that is my wish and i am trying very hard to let go but even the thot itself hurts.
He loves me i have never doubted this, he has never cheated on me, and he has never told me any of them big lies guys tell.

The mixed messages gives me the creeps, i need to know what is going through his head thats all.

I confuse him when we are together, i know he has feelings for me, and i can tell from the way he kisses me. I know my BF.

He is not letting me even try the letting go thingy cos he calls me at least 2x a day now since we spoke out our minds.

The reason why he gave me the 2 weeks break like i said before is that i displayed for him after a fight, the fight was because he was upset i returned everything he ever gave me during our relationship, dropped it on his front door and called him to come out and pick them after i have driven off. i was so angry i returned even his pictures. now he says that is me drawing the line cos i was trying to wipe him and every thing we ever shared out.

Well no sweat at the end of the day. whatever happens is what i will take.

@ post Its all about how both of u understand each other, coz when i have a similar challenge with my x he did not come back again, oh he call me to tell me that our value is differs

I understand how you feel, however I think you're seeing only what you want to see.If all you've posted is true then he led to you point blank and that's the truth. Another heart to heart with him willl be in order. Never be afraid to walk away.

zarah:

Thank you all, wow help is still far away it seems.
I feel the people asking me to let go. right now that is my wish and i am trying very hard to let go but even the thot itself hurts.
He loves me i have never doubted this, he has never cheated on me, and he has never told me any of them big lies guys tell.

The mixed messages gives me the creeps, i need to know what is going through his head thats all.

I confuse him when we are together, i know he has feelings for me, and i can tell from the way he kisses me. I know my boyfriend.

He is not letting me even try the letting go thingy because he calls me at least 2x a day now since we spoke out our minds.

The reason why he gave me the 2 weeks break like i said before is that i displayed for him after a fight, the fight was because he was upset i returned everything he ever gave me during our relationship, dropped it on his front door and called him to come out and pick them after i have driven off. i was so angry i returned even his pictures. now he says that is me drawing the line because i was trying to wipe him and every thing we ever shared out.

Well no sweat at the end of the day. whatever happens is what i will take.

lol i think i was spot on when i mentioned last week the real problem must be your temperament.

No doubt the guy "loves" you but at this stage he is about to make a firm commitment and he is genuinely afraid of what life would be like living with a wife with an attitude like yours. Turns out the problem wasnt the guy afterall (you had a thread threatening to kill him) but you.

Being a gf is not the same as being a wife, a man can tolerate a lot from his gf but when u're about to become a wife then its now a major issue. Work on yourself, looks like the guy doesnt want to let go but you need to do a lot of convincing to make him feel comfortable with the idea of you as his wife.

Girl hang on in there, you are lucky he told you his feeling. Just take wat ever the outcome is.

oh please

if the chick doesnt return stuff. she's a good digger.

she returns stuff, it's a problem

abegi jare

You know . . .I think you should . . .walk away from your relationship for a while . . .He(your bloc) is obviously not "there" yet . . .but there's nothing that a little absense can't cure . . .

Look at it this way . . .You keep the NOW silent state for a while . .

He returns . . Then its your decision to take him back or not . .

After 4 weeks, he still does not return to plea his way back . . .Then you begin the healing process . . .as you "painfully" walk away and begin the healing process . .Thank goodness you have a job, sink 70% of yourself in it and give the other 30 to Family & friends . . .Hope you have friends 'because you'd need them now more than ever

cheers

right on target!!!

KarmaMod:

oh please

if the chick doesnt return stuff. she's a good digger.

she returns stuff, it's a problem

abegi jare

this has nothing to do with digging gold or silver. No man wants a hotheaded tantrum thrower as his bride. Seeing those things on his doorstep must have hurt more than you can imagine.

DavidDylan:

No man wants a hotheaded tantrum thrower as his bride.

You're right. The smart ones wait til after the wedding

tkb417:

right on target!!!

seriously i dont understand what was "right on target" with that post. Have you folks been reading Zarah at all? She gave detailed reasons for the guy's actions . . . how does more absence solve the problem?  

Hi dear,
we wish the best 4 you in here, follow your heart not wat is written here, a lot of people say u should go, i will advice hang on thing might get better. Love will always conquer.