KarmaMod:

You're right. The smart ones wait til after the wedding

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Nkenim:

Hi dear,
we wish the best 4 you in here, follow your heart not what is written here, a lot of people say u should go, i will advice hang on thing might get better. Love will always conquer.

which kain love? A woman that dumps all my emotional and heartfelt declarations of love on my doorstep after a "fight" and threatens to "kill" me for asking for a bit of space to think really frightens me. I can imagine her smashing my 60" TV after a minor fight . . . not a pretty sight.

The chic shld work on herself . . . all this "follow ur heart" stuff just dey tire me . . . una no dey read the thread before you post?

You're right. The smart ones wait til after the wedding



i dont agree with you dear.

How can you agree when you're in denial?

DavidDylan:

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Smart l'omo

You're right. The smart ones wait til after the wedding  

like you

seriously i don't understand what was "right on target" with that post. Have you folks been reading Zarah at all? She gave detailed reasons for the guy's actions . . . how does more absence solve the problem?

David i didnt read the first story. Even at that, with this story i can deduce that the guy doesnt want the gurl again. The only way she ca come through this is to blank herself from the guy and let time do the healing.

if this babe tries to go back, i sence the guy will just hang on for a lil time and dump her. Its best if she let go
fo real

which kain love? A woman that dumps all my emotional and heartfelt declarations of love on my doorstep after a "fight" and threatens to "kill" me for asking for a bit of space to think really frightens me. I can imagine her smashing my 60" TV after a minor fight . . . not a pretty sight.

The chic shld work on herself . . . all this "follow ur heart" stuff just dey tire me . . . una no dey read the thread before you post?   

ok ok agreed. the gurl has got temper and all that.  .  .the guy came back for a moment and the next moment hes off.
the person here askng for advice is the babe not the guy.
I'm sure the guy'll definitely give us another version of the story

the best is for the 2 of them to part ways so the guy's 60" TV will not be broken

The guy still calls her 2ce a day . . . evidence he is also finding it hard to give her up. She can change his mind . . . she needs to do a drastic change in attitude. U know wetin proverbs talk about such a hot tempered woman?

Better to dwell in a wilderness land, Than with a woman of contentions and anger." Proverbs 21:19

the guy don go wilderness.

The guy still calls her 2ce a day . . . evidence he is also finding it hard to give her up. She can change his mind . . . she needs to do a drastic change in attitude. U know wetin proverbs talk about such a hot tempered woman?

Better to dwell in a wilderness land, Than with a woman of contentions and anger." Proverbs 21:19

the guy don go wilderness.

in a way u want the gurl to go begging
that cannot work. lemme tell u, that guys mind is made up
only God knows what the gurl has done in those fiery days

if the guy says YES to tht gurl, i bet it, things wont be the same again
ahn ahn , read the mail the guy sent to her

its an irreparable damage. Temper can be a bad thing o
even me sef no fit marry tht kind babe

Verdict: the gurl should re-engineer her spirit n soul, look for another guy who will never see any trace of what happened in d past and all will be well with her. that guy no go gree

I agree with you . . . the guy has made up his mind but its taking him a long while to get over her.
The girl just gotta beg if not the guy is as good as gone.

Anger na bad thing true true. I can imagine how the guy felt seeing his stuff on the front lawn of his house. He probably didnt sleep a wink that night.

only I can help u on this
let me know ur office address so u can take me 2 a corner and smooch me out
then i can advise u, wht do u tink

Thank you all.

DavidDylan in as much as i respect your analysis, you seem so damn cruel sometimes haba!

In answer to your last contribution, yes, he couldn't have slept at all, he said his cystolic was as it's highest that night i dropped off the things, and he suffered tremendously for days after that.

I have apologized, i have begged, i have cried all emotions for which i am not known for. I think he is gone. the calls stopped since monday i havent made any contact too.

Please i need you to understand that in as much as i am a temparemental person. what happened that day was still fuelled by him in a way. he kainda closed me out and i could not deal with it. since we practically lived for each other, i dont even know what came over me that day. is that in any case enuf reason to just stop feeling me unless he is just looking for an excuse. you cant even begin to imagine the strenght of the love we had. we were crazy about each other. how can one or two bad episodes affect us this much? i dont understand it. can you fall out of love this fast? and why wont he just say it's over instead of lets see how it goes?

Believe you me, that attitude is gone. Infact if i can just get him back, even the angels in heaven will be coming for advice.

Zarah,

Recall I had told you to take things easy then. The worst thing anyone can ever do is to return gifts that were given with Love. I see a problem here and I think you did overstep your bounds.When we are involved with people, we will always have an argument and disagree but we also need to refrain from actions that are disrespectful.

We want our women to be independent,assertive and the likes without being temperamental. I feel that your boy friend now sees a part of you that scares him despite the fact that he loves you.

From your post,I am certain that your boyfriend loves you and probably wants to be sure that he can put up with your behaviour for the rest of all times. We know that people don't come in complete packages but some behaviour is not acceptable.

Maybe some one else is showing him much more respect and kindness. I think you conduct at this time will determine if your boyfriend returns or not.

Going forward, dont call him anymore except he calls you and if he does call, be nice and respectful. Stay away from him and in no time he will be back.

Hello, Well take it as it is, but the most important thing i will want you to note in this case is that God has used him to change you for good. Baby, you have a long way to go and i am very sure you can still love again even more than what you felt for that guy.

I know what am saying because i have once experience it and i know you as well will get over it once you take it as a learning process. What if you behave irrational few days to your wedding and he changed his mind, what would you do (GOD forbid bad thing). But note this again. If he is truly yours, if he is destined to be your man, he will surely come back to you for good and then both of you would have learnt good lessons about life and tolerance.

Take this as a peace my widow's mite.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

SORRY ABOUT THAT,I KNOW HOW U FEEL. SINCE U KNOW HE LOVES U,I WILL SUGGEST U HANG ON.

MAYBE HE WANTS TO BEAT U WITH THAT AND WANT U TO REPENT FROM UR ANGER.(EMOTIONAL TORTURE) I GUESS  HE'S NOT THE TALKING TYPE

BECAUSE MY B/F DOESN'T TALK OR SHOW ME LOVE when HE IS ANGRY WITH ME, HE WILL GIVE ME what EVER I WANT BUT HE'S LOVE LIFE WILL CHANGE UNTIL I SAY AM SORRY AND REPENT FROM IT.

on a serious note,some guys don't like wen u tru back wat they give to u, am sure will even silence u 4 ever.

so just try and change ur attitude towards him,i mean repent let him see the heart of remorse in u. still call him like u do, if he still insist, stay clear and carry on ur life.

You are indeed gr8 feelitx, that was mature and consoling thanks.
Ammape, i dont want to love again at least not yet. when you say that it sounds creepy. too early to give up ok?
Dfact thank you too, my dear but i no fit call o! untill i am sure that my call will be answered or at least acknowledged. it will kill me all over again if he for example says ehen what do you want? not that he is that kind of person, but you know now anything can happen.

You guys see this grin?
Ehen, we are back together again hotter than we were sef.
Wahala still dey sha. feelitx, Dfact, Sistawoman, ammape. where una dey o!!!!!

Ok i went outta circulation for a while after everything so i was just there one fateful evening counting the stars when i got a text saying dinner tomorrow? i replied i dont see why not. that was how we fell back into it. by dinner time he kainda drove home cos he closed be4 me, and told me to pick him up. i got to the house and anyway long and short of it was we never had that dinner, we just talked our hearts out. i dont remember how the table turned but he was the one apologising.

My boyfriend has always been a home guy, i trusted him a 100%. he now tells me his friends have introduced him to a couple of girls over our break, and that they even went out clubbing. he doesn't club on a reg day. he told me all the escapades they made him do all the things they said and how they tried to stop him even on the day he asked me out to dinner.he swore that he has not had sex with anyone. he says he has brough a girl back home one day but was turned off and never went all the way. (he has never lied to me). he says he loves me 10x's more that he did be4 and will never let me go again. i shunned him on my birthday and he still seems hurt by it cos he assumed i spent it with someone else. i shunned him cos he shunned me on his too. ( I WAS MISERABLE ON MY BDAY BUT I NEVA SAID SO)

Anyway now i am scared that he has proly kissed or smooched someone or even had sex but is ashamed to tell me. i cant get this scary sight/thought outta my mind. my trust has waned, i dont trust him anymore cos i see guilt in his eyes everytime i kiss him now, i saw a couple of changes in our bathroom and in his dressing, i am just not sure. he has asked me to go on another holiday with him a repeat of one we have had be4 in january, he wants to take me to tinapa for christmas etc. he seems to be trying too hard to make it up to me. i feel he has actually slept with someone, at least thats what my intuition tells me. wahala be say i dont 4give infidelity and i am scared that if i find out i will not be able to tolerate him. but if i keep quiet and he doesnt tell me. i will never trust him again. and you know how that is, there can't be a relationship without trust.

WHAT DO I DO? GUYTS TALK TO ME.

ZARAH I WISH U WERE MY GIRL HONESTLY I AM WILLING TO LOVE GIVE MY SELF TO SOMEONE I AM IN ALMOST THE SAME SITUATION LIKE U JUST GIVE HIM SOME TIME AND THEN ASK HIM HOW FAR.