My Friend needs your help
See what he has to say

""" See, she wants us to get married, but there's so many dark side with little or no light which can put out the darkness in this situation
We've been dating for 4 months now, Dis girl hate muslims and Islam, she don't tolerate any islamic thing and I've tried to let her know the true image of Islam that islam is peace and not all what the media portrays, she said there's nothing I can say to her that will make her like muslims, but she said she's dating me simply because she loves me so much, wants us to get married to eachoda (wish I wish too but that's not my No1 priority), and that she hopes I become a christian someday That one day or soonest she would break up with me, coz I can't be a christian she has tried to break up with me before but I calmed her and she stayed coz of love, so now her point is if I can't be a christian, she would brk up with me and move on and probably date a christian like her and mayb get married. Many guys do disturb her and even offer her what I dare not even think about half of it, what I don't hv and all dat, bt she's a nice girl and dsnt care abt material tins, she do tell me about it and show me all the messages nd I know this kind of girl is rare and her true love for me is obvious but sometimes love is not just enough.
The thing is that, something do tell me to allow her go jare, but I still realize that it will pain me if I lose this girl, she's complete; pretty beautiful and loving and I feel like she's a big asset to me dt I'm datin a girl like that (a virgin which I confirmed myself) and that she's not mine anymore. She's d best I ever had. I would go single for a long time coz if I don't go single ehn, dose lover girls are in trouble I would just take dem as nothing, and I don't wanna hurt any girl anymore.
I see no sign that she can marry a muslim, she's d only Daughter and her Dad is a military man and a Deep christian (they would want a perfect wedding of their dreams for their only daughter, d way muslims does wedding is quite different from how christians does it), this make things difficult, soldiers are stern and stubborn, so there is a very high probability that he can neva allow her daughter marry a muslim, and he's a deep Christian , this makes things worst, imagine a deep christian who's only daughter is married to a muslim, u know dts quite difficult too (even if she insists on marrying a muslim and allow her to make her decision the feeling of dissatisfaction would still be dere). Belittling the fact that their tribe is different from mine coz I'm yoruba, but that's not a big problem.
Now that aside that's abt her parents, what about her? Her belief and her perception, its very hard to convince her and even if I convince her and achieve success and she decides to stay, how abt her parents? They may neva tolerate her decision most esp her Dad.
So all these factors the main thing is religion issue.
So shud I bone and let her go if she wants coz I don't brk up wit girls or I should still make her stay coz we're still together 4 now and I still enjoy the relationship. I calculate a probability of 0.83 that there will be no light at the end of the tunnel of this relationship.
Please ma guy advice me, I'm telling u dis coz I know U're a good person, seriously.
What should I do ? """

Hmmmm, eleyi gidi gann
Oya people pls Send ur advices to my friend
If u like mk una sey na me write am, na una sabi, ur advices is my main concern.
What I told him is that he should allow her to go, but that I would consult more people that this is serious and I wouldn't like to mislead him.

Please give us a summary or paragraph your epistle. The length of your post just hurts the eye.

The scenerio is crystal clear. She's an astute xtian, the father a devoute and committed xtian too. Hmmm sorry, it'll be considered an unequal yoke to have that nuptial muslim-xtian ticket. From all indications, disolve that unwholesome rlship and move on wit ur life. I bet u it'll be a herculean task for the dad to give his consent, nver!

Nonso23:
I learnt growing up that most of the best decisions you will take are going to hurt you the most. But you will end up the better for it

I was going to say 'hang in there,' but assessing the overall situation it would be foolhardy.
She despises Muslims.
Chances are that her parents do too.
Her father is possibly very stern. Minimal chance of success in that direction.
She is an only child. Need I explain further?
She gets loads of attention from other guys. A lot of ready substitutes.
You are a Muslim and are proud to be one. Do not change that part of you for anything. Religion and marriage in most cases go hand in glove. Not to mention that the reason for your conversion would be totally wrong. You will resent her for it if you do just so that you eventually walk down that aisle with her.

You both can work it out if she is willing to drop the bias. Since that is very unlikely anytime soon, I'd advice you to count your losses, prepare for the gruelling torture of heartbreak and save your self the trouble by calling it quits now.

About that part of you hating women and all that. It depends on you. The way I see it there's no light at the end of that tunnel too.

He just said it all.
You're not willing to give up your religion and neither is she, so what else? Like you said, sometimes love just isn't enough. Whatever you choose to do, your happiness should come first.

Evina:
Please give us a summary or paragraph your epistle. The length of your post just hurts the eye.

Should he allow the girl go due to religious matters or keep her stayed with him coz he's enjoying the relationship?

Nonso23:
I learnt growing up that most of the best decisions you will take are going to hurt you the most. But you will end up the better for it

I was going to say 'hang in there,' but assessing the overall situation it would be foolhardy.
She despises Muslims.
Chances are that her parents do too.
Her father is possibly very stern. Minimal chance of success in that direction.
She is an only child. Need I explain further?
She gets loads of attention from other guys. A lot of ready substitutes.
You are a Muslim and are proud to be one. Do not change that part of you for anything. Religion and marriage in most cases go hand in glove. Not to mention that the reason for your conversion would be totally wrong. You will resent her for it if you do just so that you eventually walk down that aisle with her.

You both can work it out if she is willing to drop the bias. Since that is very unlikely anytime soon, I'd advice you to count your losses, prepare for the gruelling torture of heartbreak and save your self the trouble by calling it quits now.

About that part of you hating women and all that. It depends on you. The way I see it there's no light at the end of that tunnel too.

Nice talk brother, one love!

noblealuu:
The scenerio is crystal clear. She's an astute xtian, the father a devoute and committed xtian too. Hmmm sorry, it'll be considered an unequal yoke to have that nuptial muslim-xtian ticket. From all indications, disolve that unwholesome rlship and move on wit ur life. I bet u it'll be a herculean task for the dad to give his consent, nver!

noblealuu:
The scenerio is crystal clear. She's an astute xtian, the father a devoute and committed xtian too. Hmmm sorry, it'll be considered an unequal yoke to have that nuptial muslim-xtian ticket. From all indications, disolve that unwholesome rlship and move on wit ur life. I bet u it'll be a herculean task for the dad to give his consent, nver!

Nice one!

mubarakopeyemi:

Should he allow the girl go due to religious matters or keep her stayed with him coz he's enjoying the relationship?

thanks. Yes he should, better now than face more dire consequences in the future.

I dnt no y muslim brodas neva learn. A xtian man can date n marry a muslim lady wtout her asking or forcin him to convert for her sake cos islaim made us understand dt a womans religion is dt of her husband. D oda way round, d so-called xtian sisters wud b demanding a man to convert to her own religion. Every one b it man or woman shud stay in his or her own lane. Talking strictly from experience.

Evina:


thanks. Yes he should, better now than face more dire consequences in the future.

Yes dear and Na that military part fear me pass o

marinel:
I dnt no y muslim brodas neva learn. A xtian man can date n marry a muslim lady wtout her asking or forcin him to convert for her sake cos islaim made us understand dt a womans religion is dt of her husband. D oda way round, d so-called xtian sisters wud b demanding a man to convert to her own religion. Every one b it man or woman shud stay in his or her own lane. Talking strictly from experience.

Hmmmm, I don't know why its that way o, you mind sharing the experience? And btw did u get my PM?

mubarakopeyemi:

Hmmmm, I don't know why its that way o, you mind sharing the experience? And btw did u get my PM?

. Ya, I did, been absent n jus got bak. My story goes thus. My big bro dated his gf for a long while n she knownin fully well dt her parents wud nt allow her to marry a muslim still insisted on d r/s. Now she wants him to convert to a xtian b4 her parents can approve bt my family stood der ground n at d end of d day d gal dad had to consent. My big sis is married to a xtian man wtout any resistance frm my family n they are both living happily. My current bf is a xtian n he keeps demanding I go to church wt him n weneva I refuse we end up having a fite, I suggested we end d r/s n go our separate way bt he wud neva agree n he keeps insisting dt I can neva marry any oda guy. I jus tire.

omo dis is serious o but he cant insist that you cant marry another guy when he is nt ur father. but all will be well sha.
contact me so as to figure things out and transact some social business

This one is tough o . . I can view it from your own perception cos the qualities you described in her,i've never seen a nairaland post describe a gal as such

Op Don't worry she will reconsider and all things will fall in other if you guys are meant to be.
Religion religion religion how many time I call you pls leave humans alone,stop be a priority in their decision making.

mubarakopeyemi:
omo dis is serious o but he cant insist that you cant marry another guy when he is nt ur father. but all will be well sha.
contact me so as to figure things out and transact some social business

. Dts jus it, sometyms I'll jus make up my mind n ignore him for a while only to find me back with him again.I don't wan to blive dt we are wasting our tym.

He should let her go they do not have the maturity and individuality required for this type of relationship. Its already over they are just postponing the goodbyes.

One of the reason why I dislike religion, it fosters division. With Religion, human have been more seperated than ever.

Sorry, I didnt help you

marinel:
. Dts jus it, sometyms I'll jus make up my mind n ignore him for a while only to find me back with him again.I don't wan to blive dt we are wasting our tym.

The thing is Your mind isn't leaving him while u wanted to. U probably love him well.

mubarakopeyemi:

The thing is Your mind isn't leaving him while u wanted to. U probably love him well.

I can't deny d fact dt I do love him despite knowing fully well dt we mite not work out. Ds tin called luv sef.

marinel:

I can't deny d fact dt I do love him despite knowing fully well dt we mite not work out. Ds tin called luv sef.

Is wicked? Lol