iceberylin:
People still dh practise this kind boring relationship

Fabdedon:
is dis d new style of spacebooking?

iceberylin:
Try not to involve holy spirit for this matter

ClumsyPsychiq:
There are alot of things in my past I regret today because of the pain and loss they've caused me but since its my past and there's nothing I can do to change it,I just lived with the regrets and wished I'd done things differently. I asked God to forgive me for my past mistakes and I believe he has,because I felt a reassuring peace I never had before,when I was lost in the world.
I met this really nice guy,we've been dating for over six months. He's a serious-minded person and he's responsible too. He made his intentions clear from the start,he's interested in me for marriage. I've met his parents and his mom really likes me,plus the entire family has been nice to me... Right from the start,he always asked me about my life,my past,any major things I need to tell him about myself...whenever the topic came up,I never had the courage to say anything,I'd just reassure him there's nothing. Himself,he's 'perfect',brought up in a spiritually-active home,he's God-fearing,humble 'n morally upright(sex is not a priority for him)... Some weeks ago,something reminded me of my past in a very disturbing way,I was restless,I lost my appetite,I was depressed. I decided to pray to God again for purification of my sins,this time I prayed vehemently,then the Holy spirit made me realise that I had not been completely honest with my bf,that he needed to know. This made me more ill at ease because he is currently out of town. I thought about it for a long time,finally I called him and told him I'd something to tell him that couldn't wait,I told him I'd had affairs with married men in my past,I explained it was in the past and I would never think of doing such ever in my life again. He asked if they were more than one,I agreed,there were two of them,he said we would talk about it later and ended d call.
I sent him a mail,explaining and apologising,afterwards I called again and he was pissed that I was apologising to him after the harm I'd caused other people,families... Since then,he has been very cold,he never calls,I call all the time,he picks when he wants to,gives me one-word replies and ends the calls even though I was d one who called. We had a long discussion after my confession and his conclusion was that he had not made a decision about our relationship yet,that somethings are beyond him,what I understand by this is that he's seeking God's face about the situation,if to continue or end the relationship. I love him so much and he loves me too or loved me before this whole thing came up. Now my mind keeps telling me that even if he decides to continue the relationship,he will resent me and I'll just end up having an unhappy married life because he'll keep seeing the wh*re I "was". Considering the kind of dreams/visions he has(ministering God's word),he won't see me as d perfect person to help him fulfil those dreams and he may end up living an unfulfilled life if he decides we go on with the relationship and get married afterwards... Its been very difficult for me and I believe for him too. Here is where I need your advice,should I encourage him to end the relationship so we go our separate ways? Besides his seeking God's counsel,I believe he's finding it difficult to come to a decision because he would be thinking about his family/friends,how to break the news to them and what to tell the is the reason for our break-up. My encouraging him won't ease all the inconveniences but what do you think?
Thank you for ur helpful contributions

Fabdedon:
i feel the pains ur passing tru....
Talk to him.. Get the chance to meet him not phone calls... Maybe dats where d mistake started... Meet him physically..talk to him..
Try explain to him that due to u have changed frm ur ways n wouldnt want anytin to appen to d relationship in future dats why ur telling him...
U said ur close to d Family.. Look for who he understands better and try confide in d person to try explain better ...its goona be hard but dats a clue..
Just try make him calm down and understand you.. Since its a six month relationship..u guys could have learnt to understand you self...
Wish you luck in Advance

mesoade:
There's nothing to be worried about the holy spirit told you to be honest and you were honest . . He's the God-fearing type,if he prays the holy spirit will surely direct him to you . . But if that doesn't happen,then you were never meant to be married . .

Fabdedon:
@ClumsyPsychiq
Like mesoade said too since the Holy spirit directed you to tell himm just pray and dont panic..

I think his aware of what his doing his taking time to consider things... If not he could have informed his family about you since you are close to the Family...

Just pray about the situation and still show him and give him reasons you have changed....His a gentle man he will surely understand..it might even give him reasons to trust you in the future

iceberylin:
People still dh practise this kind boring relationship

iceberylin:
People still dh practise this kind boring relationship

tosyne2much:


This is what I always complain about you

Is it a must you comment on every thread if you have nothing useful to say ?

ronald4lif:
I am trying too hard in restraining myself not to use foul words on you and I hope I achieve this. Without mincing words you destroy your relationship, you unbeknown or ignorantly drove your man away and shut the door on him. I mean who tell their potential spouse such things about their past? Everyone has that thing that we may never want our prince/princess charming to know about us. It was completely irrelevant to tell, there was no pressure whatsoever to do so. I mean men marry non-virgins everyday and never cared who and who they had f*cked, if the brides keeps telling their suitors who they had f*cked many weddings will be called off. Its nothing to do with you f*cking married men, his reaction would have been same even if you had told him there were your fellow students you flirted with. Men knows chances are high that their women may have had a dirty past but would rather not hear about it, once they know it never gets off their mind especially when making love to her. My advice to you is not to bother him, whichever decision he takes is what you deserve. But just so you know be ready to always have him rub it on your face the rest of your life at any given little misunderstanding, that's if he goes ahead with the wedding plans. I am sorry no sympathy for you. An igbo adage says ife onye ara melu onwe ya kariri ife omelu ummune ya which translates as what a mad fellow does to himself its worst than whatever he does (shame wise) to his relatives. I am not in any way referring to you as being mad but your actions was a mad stuff. All the best anyways!

nobilis:
OP, your first mistake was telling him such a thing over the phone. But the deed has been done.

All you need to do now is to give him space. Lots of space. Forget about holy spirit said this; holy spirit said that. You made a shocking confession. So allow him time to digest all the information and make his decision. Continuing to call him and try to talk to him and apologise will only make him resent you the more and increase his latent arrogance. As difficult as it might be, let him be.

Send him a text message explaining that you understand how disappointed he might be in you. Tell him that you have truly repented of such behaviors and that it is all in the past. Also let him understand that you will gladly wait for him to make a decision, call you up and tell you what his decision is. After u send him this text, don't bother calling him again no matter how strong the temptation is. Just let him be.

And then move on with your life. Realise within you and come to terms with the fact that it is a possibility that he might not come back to you. But continue your life. Build yourself up psychologically and emotionally.

If he truly loves you, he must surely come back to you, no matter what his vocational and ministerial dreams might be. If he cannot forgive you for your past misdeeds, then he isn't qualified to be your boyfriend, not to talk of being your husband.