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Adjusting To Life As A Widower - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Adjusting To Life As A Widower (45189 Views)

Poll: How has this thread helped you to appreciate your spouse better and positively affect your relationship?

Very Positive: 90% (9 votes)
Good: 0% (0 votes)
Fair: 10% (1 vote)
Not Really: 0% (0 votes)
Not At All: 0% (0 votes)
This poll has ended

Getting Married To A Divorcee Or A Widower/widow Which Is Better / Wearing Your Wedding Band As A Widow/widower / Getting Married To A Widower (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 1:01am On Aug 23, 2010
grin have these two hooked up yet? Or are they still here typing and typing and wasting time?

1 Like

Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by prittigrrr(f): 8:21am On Aug 23, 2010
@ spoilt I'm not wasting time. My granddad just died. Let me have a few days. LOL.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 7:32pm On Aug 23, 2010
wink Aaaah! Good. Make haste while this chemistry is still hot. I'll stay tuned for wedding bells.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by prittigrrr(f): 8:53pm On Aug 23, 2010
spoilt:

wink Aaaah! Good. Make haste while this chemistry is still hot. I'll stay tuned for wedding bells.

Girl, you know u crazy. Well, I guess the ball is in his court now to contact me or provide a way for me to contact him.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by chaircover: 8:55pm On Aug 23, 2010
^^^^^ Just remember that I sell exquisite wedding gowns & the whole chi bang

10% discount for Nairalanders wink
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Romeo4real(m): 8:59pm On Aug 23, 2010
@Serubawon - Ive been following this thread for a while but never posted. Your attitude and composure regarding your loss, and the subsequent way you have conducted yourself is truly exemplary. Its great to know you are feeling much better 6yrs on.
On another issue, why not check out Pritti, as she is back on the market. I know you are interested (as you wanted to know if her looks match her name!). If nothing, i think you guys would make great friends, and could still meet your future spouses through each other. At a certain age, personal reccomendation is the best way to go about this.

@Prittigrr - Please strike the iron whilst its still hot. Serubawon seems to be a very well composed and cultured gentleman. Also, do you care to elaborate what happened to your relationship? It was all rosy and sweet,and seemed destined for the alter when you last posted about it.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by oYaTo(m): 12:31am On Aug 24, 2010
And here was I thinking I got problems. . undecided

Great words of encouragement from Serubawon. .

I'm definitely going to save a copy of this thread to uplift me anytime I feel down. . cool
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by prittigrrr(f): 1:25am On Aug 24, 2010
Romeo4real:

@Prittigrr - Please strike the iron whilst its still hot. Serubawon seems to be a very well composed and cultured gentleman. Also, do you care to elaborate what happened to your relationship? It was all rosy and sweet,and seemed destined for the alter when you last posted about it.

Oh, Romeo, everything was very rosey. I was very much in love and I think he was too. Even though this is a forum, I do not want to disparage the gentleman. I still respect him. We were both the victims of a series of misunderstandings. My ex accused me of things that were not true. It took quite a while for him to find out I was not guilty. By the time he found out, he had closed me out of his heart. He tried to get over it and even though he knew I was true to him, he did not love me the same. He never included me in his daily plans, problems, joys, and sorrows as he one had. It broke my heart. He tried to return to me and make amends but I don't think the love was the same. I wish him the best and hope he finds what he needs. I know one day I will be found by the one truly for me. I hate it had to end the way it did, but it is much better to find out a man has problems with forgiveness and trust before joining your life to his in marriage.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 1:57am On Aug 24, 2010
oya Serubawon,
Na wetin you dey wait? This is team pretty girl here.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by canadacarz: 7:29am On Aug 24, 2010
Are we getting ahead of ourselves here? Maybe Serubawon is really not interested undecided
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 3:58pm On Aug 25, 2010
Sorry for the silence. I was out of town in Colorado and by the time I got back, I saw all these posts. It's so hot here, I almost didn't come back. It's nice seeing people contributing to this, especially bearing the fact that I NEVER expected any replies.

This is all pretty nice (especially when everyone is now saying the ball is in my court). Actually, I'm seeing someone now. Just started about 2 months ago and it's going kinda nice too. I'm one of those cautious types that checks and re-checks to be sure. I guess that's what happens when you had a wonderful marriage. I'm like Oliver Twist - I want more of that. I sincerely believe that it's better not to marry at all, than be married and unhappy. However, all that said and done, I thank everyone for making this thread interesting. I just hope it offers some kind of comfort to anybody passing through that kind of trauma.

I'm also thanking the instigators of a prittigrrr/serubawon romance. By that I mean $osisi, Spoilt and Rome4real. You guys are hilarious (but who knows what the future holds). We should all be asking you guys what's happening in your lives wink.

@ prittigrrr. How do you want me to send my info? Leaving a phone number here is suicidal. I guess I can give you an email address that isn't mine anyway and I can give you more details. If your uncle needs to talk, i hope I can be of help. Well, I've gotta get back to work so I can pay my bills. Cheers everyone.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 4:01pm On Aug 25, 2010
@ prittigrrr. Oh, I forgot. The email address is __  Expect to hear from you.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 8:11pm On Aug 29, 2010
@Serubawon at least we tried. Good to know you are venturing back into dating though. Hope it goes well.
Meanwhile you wanted to know what we have going on? Well, Spoilt has Mr Spoilt and a spoilt daughter. I am indeed thankful for them.
@prritigrr, I'm still looking out for you. *wink*.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 12:00am On Aug 30, 2010
Hey everyone! Guess what?  Someone saw these posts and showed it to someone (who showed it to someone else) and all of a sudden, I was invited to be a guest speaker at a singles conference.  However, it went very well.  I was given an hour to talk and by the time I was done, there was applause (unbelievable).  I actually looked behind me to see if they were clapping for someone else.  It was a very nice warm feeling to see that happening and I guess I have you guys to thank for giving me an avenue to express myself.  Never knew I had it in me.  Who knows what the future holds.  Might be a calling for all I know.

@ spoilt.  I'm sure you're exagerrating.  I'm pretty sure "Mr. Spoilt" and "spoilt daughter" are wonderful people and fill you with joy.  I must say it has been an honor discussing with you all.  Wish we could have a party or something.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by oYaTo(m): 1:11am On Aug 30, 2010
spoilt:

@Serubawon at least we tried. Good to know you are venturing back into dating though. Hope it goes well.
Meanwhile you wanted to know what we have going on? Well, Spoilt has Mr Spoilt and a spoilt daughter. I am indeed thankful for them.
@prritigrr, I'm still looking out for you. *wink*.

grin

@Serubawon. .Glad you enjoyed the experience. .
Who knows, you might probably become a sensation all across the US. .just because of a NL thread. . cheesy

What we have going on? Still searching for "Mrs oYaTo". . wink
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 2:30am On Aug 30, 2010
@Serubawon
So you snuck off to share your dating expertise eh? The knots in your tummy must have been visible through your shirt. Lawdy! Hope you didnt have sweat patches under both arms. Lol. I have a bad case of stage fright myself. Im glad you got the standing ovation you deserved after pouring out your heart into the mic. So Nairaland is good for something. You may have a career in motivational speaking and counselling ahead of you.
You're right Mr spoilt and little spoilt are my very heartbeat.
P.S You will be fun to 'party' with.

@ Oyato
Serubawon was frolicking with a thousand singles earlier. If anyone can hook you up, he's your man. Lol. Maybe I should just quit this stressful job of mine and become a nairaland matchmaker.

2 Likes

Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by oyinda.(f): 3:54am On Aug 30, 2010
hmmm spoilt, i'm suspecting u oooo lipsrsealed grin tongue
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by spoilt(f): 4:43am On Aug 30, 2010
@ Oyinda,
What have I done now? Lol.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by jennykadry(f): 12:26pm On Aug 30, 2010
serubawon:



This is all pretty nice (especially when everyone is now saying the ball is in my court). Actually, I'm seeing someone now. Just started about 2 months ago and it's going kinda nice too.

Story, you just blew away any iota of chemistry prrittigrr might have saved for you with your words you know.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 8:07pm On Aug 30, 2010
Hmmmm. You guys on this thread actually feel like a family, you know?

jennykadry:

Story, you just blew away any iota of chemistry prrittigrr might have saved for you with your words you know.
True, but it's better to be honest than come out pretending and get someone hurt in the process. You make it sound like I just lost the World Cup. Well, I do have to be honest, the person I'm seeing now has given me the opportunity to open up again (which I honestly think I had forgotten completely). My biggest challenge is to put my past behind me and turn a completely new page for my future. I have to be honest, I really didn't believe I would be able to be emotionally involved with anyone again. I had a great marriage (I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing that now) and my companion really has some big shoes to step into. It's not all about me. It involves my kids, my family & friends who loved my late wife dearly. It's up to me to create an atmosphere that allows my companion to be seen as herself and to flourish without being compared to a the memory of another person. She knows it won't be that easy, but I sincerely believe that she has more than it takes to make everyone thank God that I made the right choice. Who knows, maybe I'll write a book about this (my head don dey swell now o).

We'll see how things work out. It's a work in progress.

@spoilt. No, I did not sneak off. I almost chickened out though.

@oyinda. Nice to hear from you again.

1 Like

Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by prittigrrr(f): 1:42pm On Feb 24, 2011
To all my NL friends:

My beloved grandmother died a few days ago. I nursed her until she died. She loved my granddad for life, and after his recent passing, she just could not live anymore. I love you Grandma. I pray you rest in peace in God's bossom and know you are reunited with the earthly love of your life.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by oYaTo(m): 1:52pm On Feb 24, 2011
Sorry for your loss, prittigrrr. . undecided
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Damysa(f): 3:50pm On Feb 24, 2011
sorry 4 d loss
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by sorrytoo: 4:05pm On Feb 24, 2011
So sorry about ur loss,She's in a better place Now,
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by sorrytoo: 4:14pm On Feb 24, 2011
@prittigrrr

the chemistry btw u and serubawon made my day, sorry to bring this up at a time like this, but i just feel there's something there,and i'm sure both of u must have thought about it,

Honestly,if u guys get married,i will fly down to houston or wherever to witness it,

this just remind's me of the movie, sleepless in seatle, ,on another thought,we could actually turn this to first nairaland movie, Title"You got Post",or "Sleepless on Nairaland" smiley
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by andromida(f): 5:09pm On Feb 24, 2011
@serubawon its great to read your story, your openness about it shows you are recovered. I hope you and prittigrr hit it. It will be lovely to see two real people meet on this kind of forum and work out however no pressures.

Pls if this ends up in a "they lived happily ever after". Moderators i want to knw.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Nekai(f): 7:15pm On Feb 24, 2011
So sorry to hear about your grandmother, prittigrrr. cry

I'm so happy to see that the OP found love again! It was great to read your journey, serubawon. Maybe some men in your shoes would have rushed to fill void of the lonliness and pain with a woman that did not have you and your children's best interests in mind.
It is really inspiring to see that patience pays off. Wishing you all the best!
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 2:39am On Feb 26, 2011
So sorry to hear about your loss prittigrrr. However, I'm sure your granny is truly at peace now and resting in the bosom of our Lord. It's amazing how people get so intertwined in love that they can't live without one another. It's something that we all should strive to achieve. I'm sure the world would be a better place for it. Since you said you nursed her to the end, I'm sure that took a lot out of you also. I pray God re-energizes you and places you in a place of honor where you will also have people to care for you when that time comes. (This is turning a little bit too sad).

It's nice to be back here. I missed posting to this section almost everyday. However, there was a time that this thread was quiet for years and sprang up again. First of all, I'm sure everyone wants to know what's been going on with prittigrrr and if there has been any romance blossoming recently. I actually have an interesting story to tell and tonight actually determines where my current relationship will be heading. I'll let everyone know as soon as the verdict comes in.

Take care everyone.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by serubawon(m): 2:50am On Feb 26, 2011
P.S.

I truly wonder where the following are:

Spoilt.
oYaTo.
Romeo4real
oyinda
ikamefa
$osisi etc.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by vanitty: 5:53am On Feb 26, 2011
Love from pain. smiley
Sorry for all your losses sad
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by prittigrrr(f): 7:30pm On Feb 26, 2011
serubawon:

So sorry to hear about your loss prittigrrr. However, I'm sure your granny is truly at peace now and resting in the bosom of our Lord. It's amazing how people get so intertwined in love that they can't live without one another. It's something that we all should strive to achieve. I'm sure the world would be a better place for it. Since you said you nursed her to the end, I'm sure that took a lot out of you also. I pray God re-energizes you and places you in a place of honor where you will also have people to care for you when that time comes. (This is turning a little bit too sad).


This was truly grandma.  She and granddaddy were married 3 weeks short of 65 years.  They were very close.  I moved in to care for him and nursed him until he died in August, 2010.  She was healthy.  She began to be more active for a while and enjoyed going places with me.  I thought she was going to push on for a few more years until the end of January.  She began to have more pain from arthritis and got more quiet. She got ill and went down suddenly.  All this happened in about 2-3 weeks time.  I miss them both so much.  I bonded with them so deeply in the short time I cared for them.    They became like my children.  I bought them clothes and dressed them alike.  I spoiled them both and indulged their every whim.  I bought them ice cream and made them pancakes and anything they wanted.  I wanted their last days to be their best days.  I am sad for myself but happy for them.  They only wanted life with each other.  That is such a blessing!  God is good to have granted their desires.
Re: Adjusting To Life As A Widower by Busy_body(f): 8:17pm On Feb 26, 2011
serubawon:

So sorry to hear about your loss prittigrrr. However, I'm sure your granny is truly at peace now and resting in the bosom of our Lord. It's amazing how people get so intertwined in love that they can't live without one another. It's something that we all should strive to achieve. I'm sure the world would be a better place for it. Since you said you nursed her to the end, I'm sure that took a lot out of you also. I pray God re-energizes you and places you in a place of honor where you will also have people to care for you when that time comes. (This is turning a little bit too sad).

It's nice to be back here. I missed posting to this section almost everyday. However, there was a time that this thread was quiet for years and sprang up again. First of all, I'm sure everyone wants to know what's been going on with prittigrrr and if there has been any romance blossoming recently. I actually have an interesting story to tell and tonight actually determines where my current relationship will be heading. I'll let everyone know as soon as the verdict comes in.

Take care everyone.








serubawon:

P.S.

I truly wonder where the following are:

Spoilt.
oYaTo.
Romeo4real
oyinda
ikamefa
$osisi etc.


Ehn you wan reveal something tonight shocked Makojami Olugbala, make I find one corner or seat tanda before all Nairaland's aprokos and busybodies and amebos overtake the whole place with their big heads cheesy


Abeg, can you do me a favour and commot Ikamefa from that list of people you have listed up here that would be gracing the high table, er . . . dunno how to say this . . . er . . . I am usually shy . . . er, thing is her er . . .  idi-araba go take the place of 3 people and you would not be able to manage to squeeze in everyone grin At least if I replace her on the table with my own moderate size 0 Chinese yansh, 10 people can comfortably sit in that vantage position tongue I mean I can always sit on my e-sugarplum Romeo4real's laps but I just want to . . . er, only one person with that yansh angry, er . . . well its just a matter of principles, yeah thats it grin


Oya everybody, fall in, order, silence in the house tongue

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