This is Africa. Polygamy is not forbidden here.

OP, if you can't live with it (polygamy), quit! The curses are not necessary.

I feel sorry for you (in your present predicament) though.

Tashamania:


I'll go with the "spell" part of it.
10years of marriage and he's just noticing this bad side of his wife..
plus abandoning his three kids..
That spell is a strong one

He is not abandoning his three kids. Read the story again. Don't add jara to it.

hatelove:


I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

I don't know why nobody is telling you the truth.
you destroyed your home.
your curses will not work, stop wasting your saliva!




this story sounds fictional

OP, I really feel terrible for you at the moment. A broken home always hurt.

Please wipe away your tears and focus on God and pray deeply for your husband because it seems that he does not know what he is doing.

The so-called girl-friend might have been disappointed by someone else and so, she is taking her revenge on another man. She feels so happy destroying a family. This is egregious.

Take your kids and train them. Give them good education. I see this man returning to you in couple of years, maybe, before then, it's already too late.

Do not act nasty!

I tot it is only Muslims that marry more than one wife?
Advice men are nothing to write home about dis days move on with ur life n forget about his marriage wahala

lakamua:
You even left him for 3months hoping he will not be able to cope. Most women over rate their importance o. Hope he has shown you dat every fuckin woman can be replaced like tyre d moment she misbehaves

Wow ladies, important lesson be be learnt from what this chap said. Please if your boyfriend / fiancée ever says anything like this, immediately get on your knees and thank God for showing you his true colors. Dust your shoes and run with your feet touching the back of your head.

Its is not easy, that why I will always advice anybody to know your partner well before tying the knot. Learn the tips to successful marriage and long lasting relationship here www.mymissingribs.com join them on facebook and newsletters for their updates.

@ hatelove.u still have time.see d pastor incharge of d wedding.show him d marriage certificate n d kids u have together.

Before going try to have a talk with ur husband.apologise for ur wrongs and tell him if he doesn't stop u will.at least d pastor can postpone d date.

involve ur family.don't suffer alone.polygamy has its problems.above all pray.try to get something doing n have good savings

Classicalmusic:
OP, I really feel terrible for you at the moment. A broken home always hurt.

Please wipe away your tears and focus on God and pray deeply for your husband because it seems that he does not know what he is doing.

The so-called girl-friend might have been disappointed by someone else and so, she is taking her revenge on another man. She feels so happy destroying a family. This is egregious.

Take your kids and train them. Give them good education. I see this man returning to you in couple of years, maybe, before then, it's already too late.

Do not act nasty!

She doesn't even have a job - bad decision - and that is the suicidal part!

hatelove:


I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do

I got married when i was quite young without proper education then my husband just got employed.
His family introduced me to him when he wanted to get married because according to them then i met his requirement.

my husband have a good paying job so i can say he have it all good

At a point in our marriage i became insecure, i went snooping on his phone, calling some of his contact , warning people unnecessarily i never knew i was destroying my marriage.
MY HUSBAND been a very patient man warned me to stay off his phone and all but i didnt listen.

When my last daughter was three i called one of his senior colleage to stay off him which made my husband angry and said im being hostile to him so he wants a divorce, the issue became so big that my husband and i got seperated.

my husband is the traditional type that doeesnt do any house chores, i taught there was no way he was going to saty without me but to my greatest surprise he stayed without me for 3 months plus he rather had his neice stay with him than myself.

His family had to interven before he reconciled with me, when we got back together i noticed he had a girlfriend this time with so many love text messages on his phone, i got emmotional n deleted them all, he noticed i deleted them without saying a word he passworded his phone by then i already had the contact of the girl unknown to him but because of our initial dissagrement i was reluctant in calling her but it got serious, my hubby started making night call , talking to her on phone for hours, visiting her n coming home back late.

It got to a point i called her and warn her to stay off my home, she wanted to know who the caller was but i ended the call, after sometime i noticed she called hubby and hubby ask her to give him the number of the caller so he can check if he knows the person, she gave him anh he told her to go bed there is nothing to worry about. he came to me and ask me why i did that, i pick up quarrel with him but he didnt say anything afterward, the next he went out and came back by 11;20 in the night. He doesnt talk much so i tried confronting him about the woman but he didnt say anything but he kept seeing and talking to her. i called the woman again to tell her to stay off my husband but she told him and that cause another misunderstanding between us, then hubby told me that he will marry her and there is nothing i can do.
After that ive called her once or twice again and it was disaster between myself and my hubby.

I completed uni after being married to him and he didnt allow me to work saying i dont want my wife to be looking at another man and answering sir.

Now my husband says he his getting married to his love for the first time
He said he love her, he never had the opportunity to choose
He said he choose her himself and he is happy to be in love
He said she knows how to communicate him which i dont
he said he needs a friend, someone who sees marriage as love not as responsibility.
He said i sees marriage as responsibility

He asked his people to pass the message to me

He said he will still be responsible for me and our kids
He will keep us under one umbrella n everybody will be happy, its natural if i get emmotional but he is not going to hurt me
He is sorry if he is hurting me but i should know that i destroy our home not his incoming wife.

I feel terrible i cant help but regret, i taught it was a joke but to my greatest surprise its reality

I JUST SAW MY HUSBAND INVITATION CARD

PLS BE SINCERE TO me did i relly destroy my home?

You might have been a nagging or troublesome wife, but you did not destroy your home. With no apologies to either you or your husband, your husband was cheating/intending to cheat on you. He knew what he was doing and used your attitude as an excuse. I would suggest you go into serious prayers (do the prayers yourself, don't ask anyone to pray and fast for you). If you haven't been unfaithful to your husband, tell it to God. Ask him to fight for you and defend you.
Do not leave your home for another woman, stay put! The only situation that should warrant your leaving your matrimonial home is if your husband applies violence or diabolism. Don't fight or pick quarrels with the strange woman, be unpredictable. It's best they don't know what you are up to. I sent you an email, pls reply soon.

Thanks @ all for your advice

When my husband came for reconcilation, he informed my brother and my father that he would be getting married again and the new wife has accepted to stay with me, he also wanted to know if i will be willing to stay with her if not we can get a divorce.

My brother said he told him not to inform me then that when he is ready to get married he should inform me afterward i make my decision myself.

My brother said polygamy is not a sin, its better than divorce but im free to make my decision because my husband had confirded in them that he is not comfortable with me, if he remains with only me he might die of hypertention has he had already develop high blood presssure, he said if he wants to die the death should at least be natural not for something he can aviod.

HE said he is not letting go off his responsibility that he wants to be happy since i decided not to be happy
He deserve to be happy and the new wife will teach me how to love.

Unfortunately since i called the new wife and warned her on phone she changed her mind of staying in the same apartment with me and gave my husband condition of providing a seperate accomodation for her before she can go ahead with the marriage which my husband accepted saying afterall he has two houses.
My husband said nothing has changed between the two of us apart form him not being comfortable with only me since he dont want to divorce me and i should be thankful to the new wife because its her family that told him to reconcile with me before they can give him thier daughter so that they can be sure that no matter what happens in their marriage they can be assured of reconcilation since their dauhter has choosen him even with his married status.

HE said i shouldnt go about gossiping him because there is two side to every story.

I shouldnt even try bringing the bibble n western culture to him because he wouldnt buy them
I should be happy that africa provides altternative for divorce.

If i want divorce he will settle awesomely so that i can go live my life and get the happiness i truly deserve if that is my wish

MY husbands heart is made up
He didnt come home yesterday because some of the girls family is threatening fire and brimestone over her decision
They said they will scatter their marriage that their daughter cannot be in a polygamous marriage so the girl left home because of the stress and he went to be with her and got her an hotel for them to relax.
He told his family that they should be ready for any form of embarrasment in the marriage just in case but he is not backing down on the girl because the girl taught him how to love.
I saw my husband being very emotional and behaves as if his life depends on the marriage.
HE is about 15 years older than her but my husband age is only but a number. well it goes on n on but i dont want to so spying on his life anymore

Since he already had hbp i dont want him dying on me, his obvious his family is in support of the marriage because they dont want thier son /brother to die over uneccessary stresss.

I ACCEPT ALL MY WRONG DOINGS AND I CANT HELP BUT REGRET, maybe i took advantage of my husband being such a quite man but his brother who seems like a father to him told me today that whenever he is angry he always go mute.

TO MY HUBBY IM SORRY FOR CURSING i was only being emotional

I TAKE BACK ALL THE CURSE AND CANT SAY MUCH THAN MAY IT BE WELL WITH YOU and may you find all the love you are looking for.

Lest i forgot the new wife really appeared to be a good person with all the warnings and curses i rained on her there was a time when myself and huby was together and it appeared she was having issue with hubby, she called him all day without him answering d call continued d next day same thing, then she called me and ask if my husband was with him, i shouted at her then huby was there, the next thing i saw was him sending her an sms. the next day he went out probaly to reconcile with her when he came back that same day, i heard him asking her on phone
WITH this words exactly, honey so you love me that much after that they continue their conversation which i went to bed because it was in the night and sometimes my hubby makes call with her all through the night. he even set alarm not to over sleep so he can talk to her.

I CAN GO ALL N ALL BUT THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE hubby has even given me a clear warning to stay off his marriage if not he will divorce with nothing and there is nothing anybody can do
thanks @ ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE. Thanks @ all for your advice

When my husband came for reconcilation, he informed my brother and my father that he would be getting married again and the new wife has accepted to stay with me, he also wanted to know if i will be willing to stay with her if not we can get a divorce.

My brother said he told him not to inform me then that when he is ready to get married he should inform me afterward i make my decision myself.

My brother said polygamy is not a sin, its better than divorce but im free to make my decision because my husband had confirded in them that he is not comfortable with me, if he remains with only me he might die of hypertention has he had already develop high blood presssure, he said if he wants to die the death should at least be natural not for something he can aviod.

HE said he is not letting go off his responsibility that he wants to be happy since i decided not to be happy
He deserve to be happy and the new wife will teach me how to love.

Unfortunately since i called the new wife and warned her on phone she changed her mind of staying in the same apartment with me and gave my husband condition of providing a seperate accomodation for her before she can go ahead with the marriage which my husband accepted saying afterall he has two houses.
My husband said nothing has changed between the two of us apart form him not being comfortable with only me since he dont want to divorce me and i should be thankful to the new wife because its her family that told him to reconcile with me before they can give him thier daughter so that they can be sure that no matter what happens in their marriage they can be assured of reconcilation since their dauhter has choosen him even with his married status.

HE said i shouldnt go about gossiping him because there is two side to every story.

I shouldnt even try bringing the bibble n western culture to him because he wouldnt buy them
I should be happy that africa provides altternative for divorce.

If i want divorce he will settle awesomely so that i can go live my life and get the happiness i truly deserve if that is my wish

MY husbands heart is made up
He didnt come home yesterday because some of the girls family is threatening fire and brimestone over her decision
They said they will scatter their marriage that their daughter cannot be in a polygamous marriage so the girl left home because of the stress and he went to be with her and got her an hotel for them to relax.
He told his family that they should be ready for any form of embarrasment in the marriage just in case but he is not backing down on the girl because the girl taught him how to love.
I saw my husband being very emotional and behaves as if his life depends on the marriage.
HE is about 15 years older than her but my husband age is only but a number. well it goes on n on but i dont want to so spying on his life anymore

Since he already had hbp i dont want him dying on me, his obvious his family is in support of the marriage because they dont want thier son /brother to die over uneccessary stresss.

I ACCEPT ALL MY WRONG DOINGS AND I CANT HELP BUT REGRET, maybe i took advantage of my husband being such a quite man but his brother who seems like a father to him told me today that whenever he is angry he always go mute.

TO MY HUBBY IM SORRY FOR CURSING i was only being emotional

I TAKE BACK ALL THE CURSE AND CANT SAY MUCH THAN MAY IT BE WELL WITH YOU and may you find all the love you are looking for.

Lest i forgot the new wife really appeared to be a good person with all the warnings and curses i rained on her there was a time when myself and huby was together and it appeared she was having issue with hubby, she called him all day without him answering d call continued d next day same thing, then she called me and ask if my husband was with him, i shouted at her then huby was there, the next thing i saw was him sending her an sms. the next day he went out probaly to reconcile with her when he came back that same day, i heard him asking her on phone
WITH this words exactly, honey so you love me that much after that they continue their conversation which i went to bed because it was in the night and sometimes my hubby makes call with her all through the night. he even set alarm not to over sleep so he can talk to her.

I CAN GO ALL N ALL BUT THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE hubby has even given me a clear warning to stay off his marriage if not he will divorce with nothing and there is nothing anybody can do

thanks @ ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE. i have both male n female children n didnt cheat n never cheated infact i got married as a virgin same with hubby, the both of us had no ex, hubby said he better walk the aisle again with someone he love than to cheat for those that asked.

Abbycrown:


She doesn't even have a job - bad decision - and that is the suicidal part!

Yeah it succks really. That man is wicked. I wonder why he wants to marry another woman? Men should always remember there's tomorrow. Though i am not married yet, but if my wife hurts me and i will ask her to ring my mom and apologizes to me. Then i would hug her after that and that's it. It ends there.

Marrying another woman is not a solution. If the second wife hurts him, will he go for third wife?

Na wah oh. The bible is truly the book of wisdom. Indeed a wise woman builds her home while a foolish woman plucks it down.

I don't know if/how to sympathize with the op. Guess you had to go through this, so you can be an example to others. Thank you so much for choosing to share your story and wish you Gods grace and joy.

I feel ur pain, but the truth is you were wrong in snooping,calling and embarrassing people/contacts on his phone. The truth is sometimes in marriage silence is golden,it works wonders,it makes ur partner wonder what you are up to. Take ur time and cry all you want because you need to heal properly so as not to turn out a depressed and bitter woman, then get a job even if it is one that the pay isn't much cos going out daily and meeting people will help you heal. Take care of your kids and don't even think of leaving them behind for your husband and his new wife. May God strengthen and heal you.

So sad. Dono what to say...because am just like you,always looking for what I didn't lost in my husband phone. I check even his parents phone to know who's against me but I think I have to learn from your mistake. I must learn!

I cosign all of babyosisi's comments, and do hope you'll heed them in any way you can. In addition, I'd suggest you physically, emotionally, and mentally disassociate yourself from the wedding situation, and start methodically brainstorming your next step going forward. You need to put all your focus on yourself and your children now - they require your strength. What do you want within the context of your situation? What are your options?

Compartmentalize your feelings of betrayal for now, but I want you to realize that you'll eventually need to remove all disappointment. The sooner you do so, the better. Forgiveness is the one gift you don't give to others. Rather it is the gift you give yourself so as to be truly free.

I'm sorry.

I don't usually comment or give advise on marital issues when I wasn't there when things started falling apart and the center couldn't hold anymore.

OP ndo ehn. Pele

i don't understand the curses...

polygyny is legal in nigeria - somebody has to marry all these women wasting away in their fathers' houses. it's up to the OP to decide to sink or swim.

babyosisi:
This is sad,I may not say anything to ease your pain but your story should be a lesson to other women
Ladies,please get an education and have a career you can fall back on and do not ,I repeat,do not depend on any man for your total sustenance.
This is a prime example of what can happen when one gets into marriage uneducated or under-educated and naive with time on your hands
You become too absolved in the marriage ,losing your sense of self and with little confidence
The man becomes the focus and the center of your life and any perception real or imagined that this man (who is now elevated to the status of a god) may be slipping off your hand is met with brutal force.

You tried to fight other women off him
You don't do that
Men who cheat enjoy that attention
You teach people to respect you by holding your own
Most men don't like weaklings and women who smother them
They prefer strong willed but loving women who they know can take charge of the family should he drop dead
You are too needy
Needy women scare people
There is no need calling fire and brimstone for this woman and your hubby,they are both grown and they have made their decisions
Leaving or staying is your choice but never leave without your kids if you ask me
Take your children and move on,if you have to fight for custody of your kids please do
If you leave your kids,they will become maids and boi boi to this new wife and second rated citizen in their father's house

Nice write up madame.

But I have seen illiterate women enjoy their marriages more than professors.

What makes a marriage goes beyond all these decorations. It take more than that. It takes the hearts and determination of both parties.

sledjama:


babe, dont put the blame on yourself, the fact you went through his phones in the first place digging shows you love him and not ready to let him go.
Unfortunately, you married an extremely smart and patient man who knew when to strike.
He wanted another puszy and waited for th right time to strike.


Now it looked like you are the cause of it and everyone is talking about learning from your mistakes.
babe, you made no mistake.


My advice is that you let the marriage hold, leave that house so that you dont end up committing murder.
stop calling him, and try to hang out and be open to men.
simply move on.
get a job and pursue a degree while at it.

very well said... the woman did what any normal wife would have done, and I don't think she sounded like a bad wife...
The thing is that people just don't know that there are men that have mild mental disorder called; narcissism, these kind of people will do just about anything to get attention and can use anyone for their narcissist supply, and when they are done, they will discard the victim so horribly that you begin to believe that the victim must have been so bad to them hence the treatment, but its not. anyway I'm sure its only very few people that would understand what I'm saying.

Sweetlemon:


Nice write up madame.

But I have seen illiterate women enjoy their marriages more than professors.

What makes a marriage goes beyond all these decorations. It take more than that. It takes the hearts and determination of both parties.

you are 100% correct!
choosing the wrong partner is the root cause of all these marital war. overeducated wives also get treated like crap if they choose the wrong man as their husbands.

hatelove:
Thanks @ all for your advice

When my husband came for reconcilation, he informed my brother and my father that he would be getting married again and the new wife has accepted to stay with me, he also wanted to know if i will be willing to stay with her if not we can get a divorce.

My brother said he told him not to inform me then that when he is ready to get married he should inform me afterward i make my decision myself.

My brother said polygamy is not a sin, its better than divorce but im free to make my decision because my husband had confirded in them that he is not comfortable with me, if he remains with only me he might die of hypertention has he had already develop high blood presssure, he said if he wants to die the death should at least be natural not for something he can aviod.

HE said he is not letting go off his responsibility that he wants to be happy since i decided not to be happy
He deserve to be happy and the new wife will teach me how to love.

Unfortunately since i called the new wife and warned her on phone she changed her mind of staying in the same apartment with me and gave my husband condition of providing a seperate accomodation for her before she can go ahead with the marriage which my husband accepted saying afterall he has two houses.
My husband said nothing has changed between the two of us apart form him not being comfortable with only me since he dont want to divorce me and i should be thankful to the new wife because its her family that told him to reconcile with me before they can give him thier daughter so that they can be sure that no matter what happens in their marriage they can be assured of reconcilation since their dauhter has choosen him even with his married status.

HE said i shouldnt go about gossiping him because there is two side to every story.

I shouldnt even try bringing the bibble n western culture to him because he wouldnt buy them
I should be happy that africa provides altternative for divorce.

If i want divorce he will settle awesomely so that i can go live my life and get the happiness i truly deserve if that is my wish

MY husbands heart is made up
He didnt come home yesterday because some of the girls family is threatening fire and brimestone over her decision
They said they will scatter their marriage that their daughter cannot be in a polygamous marriage so the girl left home because of the stress and he went to be with her and got her an hotel for them to relax.
He told his family that they should be ready for any form of embarrasment in the marriage just in case but he is not backing down on the girl because the girl taught him how to love.
I saw my husband being very emotional and behaves as if his life depends on the marriage.
HE is about 15 years older than her but my husband age is only but a number. well it goes on n on but i dont want to so spying on his life anymore

Since he already had hbp i dont want him dying on me, his obvious his family is in support of the marriage because they dont want thier son /brother to die over uneccessary stresss.

I ACCEPT ALL MY WRONG DOINGS AND I CANT HELP BUT REGRET, maybe i took advantage of my husband being such a quite man but his brother who seems like a father to him told me today that whenever he is angry he always go mute.

TO MY HUBBY IM SORRY FOR CURSING i was only being emotional

I TAKE BACK ALL THE CURSE AND CANT SAY MUCH THAN MAY IT BE WELL WITH YOU and may you find all the love you are looking for.

Lest i forgot the new wife really appeared to be a good person with all the warnings and curses i rained on her there was a time when myself and huby was together and it appeared she was having issue with hubby, she called him all day without him answering d call continued d next day same thing, then she called me and ask if my husband was with him, i shouted at her then huby was there, the next thing i saw was him sending her an sms. the next day he went out probaly to reconcile with her when he came back that same day, i heard him asking her on phone
WITH this words exactly, honey so you love me that much after that they continue their conversation which i went to bed because it was in the night and sometimes my hubby makes call with her all through the night. he even set alarm not to over sleep so he can talk to her.

I CAN GO ALL N ALL BUT THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE hubby has even given me a clear warning to stay off his marriage if not he will divorce with nothing and there is nothing anybody can do
thanks @ ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE. Thanks @ all for your advice

When my husband came for reconcilation, he informed my brother and my father that he would be getting married again and the new wife has accepted to stay with me, he also wanted to know if i will be willing to stay with her if not we can get a divorce.

My brother said he told him not to inform me then that when he is ready to get married he should inform me afterward i make my decision myself.

My brother said polygamy is not a sin, its better than divorce but im free to make my decision because my husband had confirded in them that he is not comfortable with me, if he remains with only me he might die of hypertention has he had already develop high blood presssure, he said if he wants to die the death should at least be natural not for something he can aviod.

HE said he is not letting go off his responsibility that he wants to be happy since i decided not to be happy
He deserve to be happy and the new wife will teach me how to love.

Unfortunately since i called the new wife and warned her on phone she changed her mind of staying in the same apartment with me and gave my husband condition of providing a seperate accomodation for her before she can go ahead with the marriage which my husband accepted saying afterall he has two houses.
My husband said nothing has changed between the two of us apart form him not being comfortable with only me since he dont want to divorce me and i should be thankful to the new wife because its her family that told him to reconcile with me before they can give him thier daughter so that they can be sure that no matter what happens in their marriage they can be assured of reconcilation since their dauhter has choosen him even with his married status.

HE said i shouldnt go about gossiping him because there is two side to every story.

I shouldnt even try bringing the bibble n western culture to him because he wouldnt buy them
I should be happy that africa provides altternative for divorce.

If i want divorce he will settle awesomely so that i can go live my life and get the happiness i truly deserve if that is my wish

MY husbands heart is made up
He didnt come home yesterday because some of the girls family is threatening fire and brimestone over her decision
They said they will scatter their marriage that their daughter cannot be in a polygamous marriage so the girl left home because of the stress and he went to be with her and got her an hotel for them to relax.
He told his family that they should be ready for any form of embarrasment in the marriage just in case but he is not backing down on the girl because the girl taught him how to love.
I saw my husband being very emotional and behaves as if his life depends on the marriage.
HE is about 15 years older than her but my husband age is only but a number. well it goes on n on but i dont want to so spying on his life anymore

Since he already had hbp i dont want him dying on me, his obvious his family is in support of the marriage because they dont want thier son /brother to die over uneccessary stresss.

I ACCEPT ALL MY WRONG DOINGS AND I CANT HELP BUT REGRET, maybe i took advantage of my husband being such a quite man but his brother who seems like a father to him told me today that whenever he is angry he always go mute.

TO MY HUBBY IM SORRY FOR CURSING i was only being emotional

I TAKE BACK ALL THE CURSE AND CANT SAY MUCH THAN MAY IT BE WELL WITH YOU and may you find all the love you are looking for.

Lest i forgot the new wife really appeared to be a good person with all the warnings and curses i rained on her there was a time when myself and huby was together and it appeared she was having issue with hubby, she called him all day without him answering d call continued d next day same thing, then she called me and ask if my husband was with him, i shouted at her then huby was there, the next thing i saw was him sending her an sms. the next day he went out probaly to reconcile with her when he came back that same day, i heard him asking her on phone
WITH this words exactly, honey so you love me that much after that they continue their conversation which i went to bed because it was in the night and sometimes my hubby makes call with her all through the night. he even set alarm not to over sleep so he can talk to her.

I CAN GO ALL N ALL BUT THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE hubby has even given me a clear warning to stay off his marriage if not he will divorce with nothing and there is nothing anybody can do

thanks @ ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE. i have both male n female children n didnt cheat n never cheated infact i got married as a virgin same with hubby, the both of us had no ex, hubby said he better walk the aisle again with someone he love than to cheat for those that asked.

Awwww.

Poor baby

Eh yaaaaaaaaa. OMG! My heart is breaking for you. Please do you have sincere family and friends you can lean on at the moment?

This is making me really scared.

coogar:


you are 100% correct!
choosing the wrong partner is the root cause of all these marital war. overeducated wives also get treated like crap if they choose the wrong man as their husbands.

Gbam!

Don't mind all these wannabe feminists.

My aunt no sabi book but that woman can ask her hubby for N1m this minute and he will her N2m instead.

It's all about finding the right one for you. making sure you don't accept just any Tom, D.ic.k, or Harry's ring just because you want to marry.

Babyosisi and co should be preaching more of choosing the right partner than having education, jobs, etc. Those things are important for the woman yes. But that does not mean that a university girl cannot marry while still in school if she meets a nice guys that is financially comfortable enough. Finishing her education and getting a job before marriage to have "something to fall back on" does not automatically guarantee anything.

You were partly at fault though.But you had.every right to question your husband.I'm sorry to say,but your..husband has a heart of stone.. My best advice is for you to grief as much as you want,cry,let it all.out...Don't.involve yourself in the wedding...Since his mind is made up already....Move. out of his. house
. cos staying under the same roof with the other lady would keep hurting you...Find a job,take care of your kids....The future is.bright....Because you may be there crying while your husband is having a good time with his mistress..

Herzumpther:
This is making me really scared.

Lol.

Always keep one foot on the ground, man.

cytochromeC:
So, the best revenge \punishment for an insecure wife is to bring in another wife? I don't get this. They are even doing the wedding in a big way by printing IV and fully involving the his family in the event. Can we all put ourselves in her shoes for one second? Especially the men justifying the husband's actions because of her imperfections. How would you feel if your wife of 10years brought in her family members in preparation of her wedding to another man simply because she's fed up of you attitude? Why is everyone forgetting married men are not perfect either? How would the children feel seeing their dad get married to another woman when their mum is still alive and living in their dad's house.

If the man felt he couldn't cope with the wife's actions, then he shouldnt have accepted her back after the separation. It is highly disrespectful of him to do this to the mother of his children who stays under the same roof with him. And to think she only got to know through his family and the IV.

Op, love never existed in your marriage. Unfortunately, there was no mutual trust and respect too. Cursing the father of your children is very silly, so you might wanna have a rethink. Pick up what's left of your dignity and return to you parent's house to take care of yourself and your children. Your husband is OBVIOUSLY tired of you and the marriage. He was never into you.

No one is excusing wat the husband has planned but he didn't come to nairaland looking for empathy, d o.p did.
The bible in proverbs said..it's beta to live at the corner of a rooftop than in the same house with a nagging, contentious woman. A woman such as d o.p.
Will u in all honesty blame the man for ?looking for love. (albeit in d wrong place/way).


I've bin in such a situation before..it's not an easy one to cope with.

cytochromeC:
So, the best revenge \punishment for an insecure wife is to bring in another wife? I don't get this. They are even doing the wedding in a big way by printing IV and fully involving the his family in the event. Can we all put ourselves in her shoes for one second? Especially the men justifying the husband's actions because of her imperfections. How would you feel if your wife of 10years brought in her family members in preparation of her wedding to another man simply because she's fed up of you attitude? Why is everyone forgetting married men are not perfect either? How would the children feel seeing their dad get married to another woman when their mum is still alive and living in their dad's house.

If the man felt he couldn't cope with the wife's actions, then he shouldnt have accepted her back after the separation. It is highly disrespectful of him to do this to the mother of his children who stays under the same roof with him. And to think she only got to know through his family and the IV.

Op, love never existed in your marriage. Unfortunately, there was no mutual trust and respect too. Cursing the father of your children is very silly, so you might wanna have a rethink. Pick up what's left of your dignity and return to you parent's house to take care of yourself and your children. Your husband is OBVIOUSLY tired of you and the marriage. He was never into you.

No one is excusing wat the husband has planned but he didn't come to nairaland looking for empathy, d o.p did.
The bible in proverbs said..it's beta to live at the corner of a rooftop than in the same house with a nagging, contentious woman. A woman such as d o.p.
Will u in all honesty blame the man for ?looking for love. (albeit in d wrong place/way).
The fact the family is fully involved should tell u a lot.

I've bin in such a situation before..it's not an easy one to cope with.

EnlightenedSoul:


Lol.

Always keep one foot on the ground, man.

I'm not a man.

O Lord this is scary.

Herzumpther:
I'm not a man.

O Lord this is scary.

Ok.

Always one foot on the ground, woman

EnlightenedSoul:


Ok.

Always keep one foot on the ground, woman

OK.

WHAT DID YOU DO ?

hatelove:
Dear nairaland family

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home be destroyed too.

My heart is broken, i so much hate life and my hubby. Guess my hubby knows i am very angry hence his refusal to talk to me.

I have not seen him since i learnt his marriage is on saturday, his family has been arriving our home, at first his elder sister then an older uncle and some other relation, i became curious to find out whats up if someone had died but to my greatest surprisec it was my husband that is getting married.

My husband has not arrived home since yesterday they started coming.
my heart is broken, my soul is weak. ive called my parents that im done with the marriage i will be coming home. my mum cried on phone on hearing the news, im confused, my family is confused, all i feel for my husband right now is hate, i can strangle him or even poison him with trhe amount of hate i feel right now.

Our pastor called he didnt pick up.

Even though we have heen married for ten years with three beautiful kids.

dear hubby whereever you are right now, i pray for Gods purnishment on you
may you never know peace with your new wife
may your pocket go dry, by that way you will get to suffer with your miserable mistress
i wish you all the bad things of life

To the mistress
as far you have destroy my home, that is how God will destroy your home.

sleepless night for me, my husband wedding, my husband family asking me to be patient nothing has changed apart from me having a helpmate, me helpmate? TO MY HUSBAND I HATE YOU.