cococandy:

I get what you are trying to say.

Like you said I've cooked for my husband but my mil tossed the food aside to present hers instead. Why wouldn't I be miffed?

Compare it to the subject of this thread. If hubby bought a car for the wife and father in law told her to toss it aside and use his instead because it is better, do you think I would be on the father-in-laws side? Heck no.

So let us examples that apply.

edwife:

CC you know i have been reading this thread since yesterday,i just didn't want to comment because of the way the thread turns out(punches) from every angles,don't wanna be caught out in it.

This is not about the car causing an issue or not,but the approach needs to be wise.As a father ,if you know that your daughter is in a good marriage and want to help the young couple,all you need to do is to call both kids and present them with the gift.

I have been there before,and mostly i will be the last to learn what my dad sent to us,not because he is my dad,but because he consider both as his children.

For me,when a father notice that his SIL can't afford a second car for his wife,the best thing to do is to call your SIL and chat with him.....Just try to find out if he is in financial trouble or just not ready to cope with the expenses of a second car,by then he could let him know that he wants to buy the car for his daughter,not to ask for his permission but to inform him of his intention.I don't see how any man will refuse such ...

I don't know,but that's how i see it....

Driven:
I wont be happy if my husband ran to his mum to get packs of food just cos I couldnt cook for him one day. Moreso, when it wasnt discussed. By the same token, if I were the husband in this case, I'ld get really angry if my wife showed up at the door with this sort of surprise from her father.

It's simple, if you cant give up the goodies you got from your very rich dad, dont get married to someone who cant give them to you! Stay with him till your mum chases you out.

As a dad, if you cant respect your daughter's marriage, or respect the man in your son-in-law, dont give her out in marriage! A diplomatic dad would have called the daughter aside, told her his intention and asked her to confer with her husband first, as he would only go on to get the car if the husband was okay with it. Anything else is total disrespect of the son-in-law/their marriage.

Life is not that hard; it's simple. Cant stop eating from daddy? Dont get married. Cant stop being your daughter's head? Dont give her out in marriage. Simple.

Lastly, here I am shaking my head in total repulsion at posts like those of chillsause and carefreewannabe. May God help any woman who listens to what they/their like say about marriage on this forum.

Driven:
I wont be happy if my husband ran to his mum to get packs of food just cos I couldnt cook for him one day. Moreso, when it wasnt discussed. By the same token, if I were the husband in this case, I'ld get really angry if my wife showed up at the door with this sort of surprise from her father.

It's simple, if you cant give up the goodies you got from your very rich dad, dont get married to someone who cant give them to you! Stay with him till your mum chases you out.

As a dad, if you cant respect your daughter's marriage, or respect the man in your son-in-law, dont give her out in marriage! A diplomatic dad would have called the daughter aside, told her his intention and asked her to confer with her husband first, as he would only go on to get the car if the husband was okay with it. Anything else is total disrespect of the son-in-law/their marriage.

Life is not that hard; it's simple. Cant stop eating from daddy? Dont get married. Cant stop being your daughter's head? Dont give her out in marriage. Simple.

Lastly, here I am shaking my head in total repulsion at posts like those of chillsause and carefreewannabe. May God help any woman who listens to what they/their like say about marriage on this forum.

edwife:

CC you know i have been reading this thread since yesterday,i just didn't want to comment because of the way the thread turns out(punches) from every angles,don't wanna be caught out in it.
This is not about the car causing an issue or not,but the approach needs to be wise.As a father ,if you know that your daughter is in a good marriage and want to help the young couple,all you need to do is to call both kids and present them with the gift.
I have been there before,and mostly i will be the last to learn what my dad sent to us,not because he is my dad,but because he consider both as his children.
For me,when a father notice that his SIL can't afford a second car for his wife,the best thing to do is to call your SIL and chat with him.....Just try to find out if he is in financial trouble or just not ready to cope with the expenses of a second car,by then he could let him know that he wants to buy the car for his daughter,not to ask for his permission but to inform him of his intention.I don't see how any man will refuse such ...
I don't know,but that's how i see it....

GANJAFARMER:
If everyone in this family uses Ganja there wouldn't be any problem at all.


They would be so spiritual that nothing matters anymore.


I hereby admonish all family section Nairalanders to try doing the peace pipe and be calm over trivial issues.

chaircover:


I totally agree
I have more blame for the FIL
He is the elder and should be wiser.

Matthewbriggs:


@ bolded gift na gift.

How would you feel when you have spent your hard earned time preparing a really nice dish for your husband to eat and your mother inlaw arrives from the village one night complaining of the fact that you are feeding his son rubbish, she says look at how lean my son has become since he married you. She now tells you that the dish you just prepared is not good enough for him that you should shove your dish in the dustbin.

She steps in to the kitchen and prepares a dish for your husband and presents it to him as a gift in your presence, and your husband is like mummy thank you very much for this gift. This meal means a lot to me. [/b]

What do you think about this gift. Would you want such a gift.

Do you agree the way and matter a gift is given, goes a long way in deciding how it will be accepted ?

njokusboy:


And the duo are both single...


Dude, except you don't have a problem with people insulting your entire lineage, you shouldn't mention those names oh...

GANJAFARMER:
If only the children of men should understand how short and brutal their life is they wouldn't spend a minute pursuing things that doesn't matter.


Chillisauce,sambarry,truckpusher and co stop the war and embrace peace today for the sake of humanity.

Peace is the most priced asset,those that do not value it are trying to lose it ,while those that have lost all their peace are negotiating for it.

Hold your peace and do not let it fly away from you.

The book of Ganja.......Chapter 1 page 39.

GANJAFARMER:
And if you can't smoke Ganja.

Lock yourselves in one room and play this music and find peace within your innermost soul and you can never curse or wish anyone harm.

coogar:





the sane people have finally arrived.
i cannot believe it took 20 pages for the words of wisdom to start pouring in. i was starting to think i am in the land of philistines.

coogar:


ganjafarmer - how much do you sell your ganja?

bukatyne:


Did the husband in the OP buy a car for his wifey and FIL tossed it out and bought a bigger better car?

kaboninc:

Some wise posts have been written but the foolish ones just overshadow them.

GANJAFARMER:
Naturally we don't sell it in the farm - But if you want to take it home then you'll have to pay five wraps for 100 naira only.

chillis1:


MU raised to power 2.

You just registered today to post this trash.

I'm sure you are truckpusher, polimonikering oshes.

coogar:


it's unfortunate there are more foolish comments than the wise ones.....



too cheap to have any quality.
where do you grow them? indoor or outdoor?

carefreewannabe:


Liar!

GANJAFARMER:
Outdoor mostly. They are quality ,grown in the rural areas.

edwife:

CC you know i have been reading this thread since yesterday,i just didn't want to comment because of the way the thread turns out(punches) from every angles,don't wanna be caught out in it.

This is not about the car causing an issue or not,but the approach needs to be wise. As a father ,if you know that your daughter is in a good marriage and want to help the young couple,all you need to do is to call both kids and present them with the gift.

I have been there before,and mostly i will be the last to learn what my dad sent to us,not because he is my dad,but because he considers both as his children.

For me,when a father notices that his SIL can't afford a second car for his wife,the best thing to do is to call your SIL and chat with him.....Just try to find out if he is in financial trouble or just not ready to cope with the expenses of a second car,by then he could let him know that he wants to buy the car for his daughter,not to ask for his permission but to inform him of his intention.I don't see how any man will refuse such ...

I don't know,but that's how i see it....

GANJAFARMER:


am not trukpusher and my old name was cunteater banned for life for promoting ganja now I'm waiting for the mods to ban this one.

What is oshes?

njokusboy:


And the duo are both single...


Dude, except you don't have a problem with people insulting your entire lineage, you shouldn't mention those names oh...

coogar:


grown with fertilisers or animal dung?

kaboninc:


What's your point here?

Are you not tired?

Allow experience to teach you

GANJAFARMER:
Animal dung purely.
Naturally the area itself is fertile we only add the animal dung to facilitate growth.

I'll soon open a thread about it and pictures let's not derail this thread.

Somebody already harassing me about using another moniker,my old moniker and ip address was banned for promoting this peace pipe on nairaland.

chillis1:


Ok. Oya give me one tree of Ganga.

Oshes is a botanical name for panty sniffers.
I thought you were one.
No vex

bukatyne:


Did the husband in the OP buy a car for his wifey and FIL tossed it out and bought a bigger better car?

Driven:



lol@Dude. I'm female actually.
@insults: I'ld probably sleep off while reading such. Their type bore me with their very predictable, soporific posts. Usually dont read their posts to the end even, cos they're usually void of content.

coogar:


don't worry about derailment - the thread got derailed from the first page when the sadducees came out en masse with foam in their mouths.

is ganja legal in nigeria?
do you have to carry a certain weight on you to be legal or any possession of it is illegal?

Matthewbriggs:


Just as I responded to coco.

The food tussing is me been overly dramatic and is not really the main issue here because I was not aiming for political correctness in my example. What I am driving out is to prove that the context surrounding a gift goes a long way in deciding how it is to be accepted.

Now do you think my above assertion is right yes or no.