1. Phone conversations are
over in 30 seconds flat.


2. Movie nudity is virtually
always female.

3. A five-day vacation requires
only one suitcase.

4. You don't have to monitor
your friends' sex lives.

5. Your bathroom lines are
80% shorter.

6. You can open all your own
jars.

7. Old friends don't give you
crap if you've lost or gained
weight.


8. Dry cleaners and haircutters
don't rob you blind.

9. When clicking through the
channels, you don't have to
stall on every shot of someone
crying.


10.Your ass is never a factor
in a job interview.

11. All your orgasms are real.


12. Guys in hockey masks
don't attack you.


14. You don't have to lug a bag
of useful stuff around
everywhere you go.


16. You understand why
"Stripes" is funny.



17. Your last name stays put.


18. You can leave a hotel bed
unmade.

19. When your work is
criticized, you don't have to
panic that everyone secretly
hates you.


20. You can kill your own food.



21. You get extra credit for the
slightest act of thoughtfulness.


22. You see the humor in
Terms of Endearment.


23. Nobody secretly wonders if
you swallow.



24. You can be showered and
ready in 10 minutes.


25. Sex means never worrying
about your reputation: the
more partners, the better.


26.Wedding plans take care of
themselves.

27. If someone forgets to
invite you to something, he or
she can still be your friends.


28 .None of your co-workers
have the power to make you
cry.


29. You don't have to shave
below your neck.


You don't have to curl up
next to a hairy ass every nite.


If you're 34 and single
nobody notices.


You can write your name in
the snow.


You can get into a
nontrivial pissing contest.


Everything on your face
stays its original color.


Chocolate is just another
snack.

You can be president.

You can quietly enjoy a car
ride from the passenger seat.





You never have to worry
about other people's feelings.

You get to think about sex
90% of your waking hours.


You can wear a white shirt
to a water park.


Three pair of shoes are
more than enough.

You can eat a banana in a
hardware store.


You can say anything and
not worry about what people
think.

pre-intimacy is optional.


Nobody stops telling a
good dirty joke when you walk
into the room.


You can whip your shirt off
on a hot day.

You don't have to clean
your apartment if the meter
reader is coming by.

You never feel compelled
to waste an evening trying to
stop a pal from getting laid.


Car mechanics tell you the
truth.


You don't give a rat's ass if
someone notices your new
haircut.


You can watch a game in
silence with your buddy for
hours without even thinking:
He must be mad at me.


The world is your urinal
(You can pee anywhere).

You never misconstrue
innocuous statements to
mean your lover is about to
leave you.

Hot wax never comes near
your pubic area.

one mood all the time.

You know at least 20 ways
to open a beer bottle.


You can sit with your
knees apart no matter what
you are wearing.


Same work....more pay.

Gray hair and wrinkles add
character.


You don't have to leave the
room to make an emergency
crotch adjustment.


70. You don't care if someone
is talking about you behind
your back.

With 400 million sperm per
shot, you could double the
earth's population in 15 tries,
at least in theory.


People never glance at your
chest when your talking to
them.


You can have a normal and
healthy relationship with your
mother.


You can buy condoms
without the shopkeeper
imagining you naked.


You needn't pretend you're
"freshening up" to go to the
bathroom.


If you don't call your buddy
when you say you will, he
won't tell your friends you've
changed.

You can rationalize any
behavior with the handy
phrase "Bleep it!"

. If another guy shows up at
the party in the same outfit,
you might become lifelong
buddies.


You don't mind being a
sexual object.


You never have to miss a
sexual opportunity because
your not in the mood.


If something mechanical
doesn't work, you can fix it or
bash it with a hammer and
throw it across the room.

New shoes don't cut,
blister, or mangle your feet.



You don't have to
remember everyone's
birthdays and anniversaries.


Not liking certain people
does not preclude having great
sex with them.

.

If those are all the advantages of being a guy, then am a chicken

.

..Nt..even..ten,..fifty..loun-loun