bukatyne:


I see you edited your post

I did not do name tagging nor did I join them in any issues.

if you feel offended by my some of my posts, I apologize however, I do not apologize for my opinions.

There is no need to take this too serious; we are neither the host nor guest in the OP.

It is all good.

Cheers.

Chillisauce:


Ok, maybe bereton international .

btw, What's wrong saying things as it is.

This is NOT a gender issue.
You advice on that thread , some call you man hater,
You advice in another thread, they say women are their worst enemy.

Is everything linked to gender in this website. How old are we again

aisha2:


I can never be offended by another persons opinions because it is their right to give it. I only responded after you tried to tell me how to state my own opinion when you freely state yours thats all, we can only debate on it and log off and live our lives.
You gave yours and I gave mine and you asked me not to get " riled up" well its my choice and my right to do so if I choose too.

I added to my post, took nothing out of it
People should stand by their views and not attempt to drag others to enter a situation they didnt create thats all I added abi am I not permitted to " edit"

bukatyne:


And how would the wife have refused to open the door?

"Hello Cassidy... bla bla'; sees unknown face (lady) and close the door?"

Does the wife automatically trust Cassidy's lady whom she met that night because she slept there overnight?



Unfortunately, the Cassidy's lady did not know the family and should have had problems doing so.

freecocoa:
Wait o, so you are saying madam's anger is justified? She had a right to get angry and talk to the girl anyhow because girl entered her kitchen to fry an egg? Why are you dismissing madam's already biased state of mind before the encounter? Is that not a factor here?

Why should the girl pacify her when madam must have insulted her? Don't you think since madam already think her annoying, whatever she said would still be used against her? Inshort, how are you sure she didn't try and madam insisted on making trouble? For both men to insist she apologize, then madam is not telling us everything.

chaircover:

Actually I was offended by Bukys post.
This thread has got nothing to do with a tribe but individual mind-sets.
How can she say that I was not a proper Yoruba person simply because I don’t go and fight people who I let into my house and decided to cook in my kitchen . . so what am I? . . .an alien?

I do however understand that people have different upbringing and life experiences, however these views remain personal and not global.
I am glad that this thread shows the difference in opinions. We need to have open minds and not insult when people dont share the same views.

We can’t afford be myopic in our views. Religion and culture . . very sensitive topics. Many wars have started from this.

bukatyne:


@bolded,

I think it is a culture thing

No right thinking Yoruba person would enter another person's kitchen without permission (except she/he is on a mission to cause trouble).

It might not be a biggie in other cultures.

bukatyne:




@bold,

This was my post below... note the bolded




Did I mention anything about fight?

Can you enter someone's kitchen you did not know or met for the first thing to cook without permission? You did not answer and kept going back that you must know the person etc. etc.

It is one thing to have a different opinion, it is another thing to twist my post to suit a purpose

Any Yoruba person that can walk into a strangers' kitchen to cook or has done such without permission has the right to quote me and we discuss...

Till then, Abeg

chaircover:
Actually I was offended by Bukys post.
This thread has got nothing to do with a tribe but individual mind-sets.
How can she say that I was not a proper Yoruba person simply because I don’t go and fight people who I let into my house and decided to cook in my kitchen . . so what am I? . . .an alien?

I do however understand that people have different upbringing and life experiences, however these views remain personal and not global.
I am glad that this thread shows the difference in opinions. We need to have open minds and not insult when people dont share the same views.

We can’t afford be myopic in our views. Religion and culture . . very sensitive topics. Many wars have started from this.

chaircover:


So I am wrong thinking . . .
Okay oooooooooo!
Ive said my own
No need to prolong
I know you are an intelligent girl and so you have picked up what you said that was wrong so no need flogging the matter.
Thats enough for me
EOD

LordReed:


Madam's anger is justified, madam's prejudice and judgmental attitude is not. Nobody knows what is in any other person's mind no matter how perceptive. You don't confront someone based on what you think they are thinking of you, you respond to what they say or do. Responding to what you think the person is thinking is what gets us into situations like this, break down of proper communication. Madam did not insult her, she spoke in anger. When confronted in anger by someone you wronged you don't help the situation by responding in kind. If madam actually did insult the chic then yes apologies are in order.

aisha2:
Na Mr. Cassidy I blame for all this oh,he should have listened to his babe and jejerly stayed in a hotel. 12 pages and counting. Men una no dey ever hear till kasala burst lol.

Chillisauce:


Cassidy wanted to be with his brother. Plus free accommodation. What he should have bargained more for was free food.

Unfortunately, that was Madams department.

aisha2:


Men and free food sha
They can do anything for free food, reminds me of my university days when a course mate copied 14 pages of notes for me because of rice lmao

chaircover:
Actually I was offended by Bukys post.
This thread has got nothing to do with a tribe but individual mind-sets.
How can she say that I was not a proper Yoruba person simply because I don’t go and fight people who I let into my house and decided to cook in my kitchen . . so what am I? . . .an alien?

I do however understand that people have different upbringing and life experiences, however these views remain personal and not global.
I am glad that this thread shows the difference in opinions. We need to have open minds and not insult when people dont share the same views.

We can’t afford be myopic in our views. Religion and culture . . very sensitive topics. Many wars have started from this.

Chillisauce:


Lol. I don't blame them, when mama never taught do some how to cook.

freecocoa:
I agree with most of what you wrote but you are failing to see that, because madam has already formed an opinion about the girl, she's highly unlikely to act reasonably which thus escalated the whole ish, this is my point.

chaircover:


LOL . . he will hear it o!
Personally, side chick or not, I wouldnt even go to a place that I am not comfortable with
For all we know it was that same cassidy that woke up feeling hungry in the morning
She cooked wahala . . if she didnt cook trouble . .
I wonder if the OP would have been as angry if it had been Cassidys wife of 20 years . . . .Hmmmmm

Then a few threads down the line, we complain that single ladies are being "forced" to get married. meanwhile the undercurrents actually come from fellow women. Its not the parents, its not the men . . .its us women being nasty to fellow women

Personally I would have been acomodating to the girl and given her good advise and taken her under my wing and we become "buddys" even if we dont end up being very close, but to some wives every other woman is a threat and a danger. It is well.

. It is well.

aisha2:
Na Mr. Cassidy I blame for all this oh,he should have listened to his babe and jejerly stayed in a hotel. 12 pages and counting. Men una no dey ever hear till kasala burst lol.

Na so I warn my husband about one woman who I said was too nosy for my liking, oga said me I was just being wahalaish oya now small time people will stop him and be asking him private personal issues, no body tell am, he didn't know how to come and tell me he was wrong, one day we saw her, he ignored her i say " oga sir see ya personal person oh" he gave me a murderous look ehnn

dBard:


I think I toe d line of bukatyne n co on dis one.
I find it really rude n discourteous for visitors to just pop into a person's kitchen to cook or whatever.
It'll be understandable if the relationship btw the parties has transcended that...but for a first time visitor, it's an absolute NO f me.

courtesy cuts across culture..

aisha2:


What is courtesy for you is not courtesy for me. Have you ever lived in a real northern settlement?

First of all you are expected to know 10 neighbours to your right, 10 to your left, 10 in front, 10 behind.

Secondly you can eat communally, the men gather in one compound in the evening and everybody from the different houses bring food and they eat one by one, the women and kids do same

Thirdly food is cooked and left in the flask or in the pot, anyone is free to access it
This is what i grew up seeing. Now I understand some other cultures they may not trust neighbours or share food it doesn't make them unfriendly just means their circumstances are different and may have led to mistrust.

Also some other cultures people guard their food for " security reasons" in the north we believe no one can kill you expect God wills. Some may describe this as careless but its their own way of life its different not wrong and guarding food may be different too but not wrong

dBard:
j

This frankly is a poor e.g of the point ur trying to make.
first of all, we're talking visitors/guests, ur talking neighbors in a communal setting.
as per ur example, most settings as u described above, most tins (including cooking etc) are done communally (common kitchen etc, everyone pitching in to help, no one in particular owning exclusively anything) and as such examples doesn't apply here.

in most homes, certain areas are deemed private, d kitchen inclusive.
except the status of the relationship permits,no guest should just walk in and make use of anothers kitchen. It's just wrong abeg.

aisha2:

Sorry your mind is so closed to only what you know. Bye

bukatyne:




@bold,

This was my post below... note the bolded




Did I mention anything about fight?

Can you enter someone's kitchen you did not know or met for the first thing to cook without permission? You did not answer and kept going back that you must know the person etc. etc.

It is one thing to have a different opinion, it is another thing to twist my post to suit a purpose

Any Yoruba person that can walk into a strangers' kitchen to cook or has done such without permission has the right to quote me and we discuss...

Till then, Abeg

annalong:
I think most of us making comments about the madam of the house been a lioness, aggressive and judging the girl cos she is single are just doing the exact thing they are accusing her of. We have already judged the madam too and dissected her with just the few lines written here forgetting that there might have been so much left unsaid.

This woman has clearly shown us that she is not hot tempered or aggressive seeing that her character has been analysed and drag through the mud by people who know absolutely nothing about her and she has held her peace. If the saying 'by their fruit you shall know them is true' then her silence tells me the kind of person she is.

This is page 9 already and she has not tried to defend herself or insult people back for calling her insecure and intolerant. WE WOMEN ARE REALLY OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES.