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When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship - Romance (1) - Nairaland

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Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by babe1(f): 4:58am On Aug 28, 2006
To tell you the truth, you really don't need to drill anyone. When a guy is ready for marriage, he will ask you and if you are dating someone and know you are ready and they haven't asked, then you can have the TALK but it should be a normal conversation, not asking with anger. And depending on their response, you should know where the relationship is going from there. Mine was ready and asked and i was ready so i gladly said yes and yes and yes. You don't have to ask a guy about future plans if they are serious, they will let you know but the ones that don't ask, i would think after 3months with someone, you should be able to ask whats up? Love doctor babe1 here grin
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by olunifemi(f): 4:54pm On Aug 28, 2006
smiley
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by soulpatrol(f): 6:25pm On Aug 28, 2006
thanks for the advice, babe1. i think some guys just need a little pushing sometimes. because he might just be taking his time and the girl is wondering when is he ever going to bring it up. they need some encouragement when it comes to having the TALK. up until now, i really didnt care about committment, but seeing as i aint no spring chicken no more  grin, i'm kind of wondering whats going on in my relationship, where its heading to. (going on three years) ive initiated the TALK with my partner time and time again, but he doesnt seem to be too concerned about the future. he never brings it up, i always have to make the first move to ask. so im contemplating moving on.  embarassed because i dont want to hang around and eventually find out that i was wasting my time cry
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by chinx(m): 8:37pm On Aug 29, 2006
@ Desiree , U heat the nail on the head.
Really sori Olunfemi.Guess He is just too close to let you go or He aint ready yet.
Or there is something u aint doing right.
Think about it. I'm sure he really Loves you. or are you spanding on him and keeping him comfortable
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by Busta(f): 10:15pm On Aug 29, 2006
is it me or are gurls these days in a desperate haste to get married


****GUYS BE WARNED****
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by iice(f): 2:09pm On Aug 30, 2006
Busta:

is it me or are girls these days in a desperate haste to get married


****GUYS BE WARNED****
For real o
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by babe1(f): 5:31am On Sep 02, 2006
soulpatrol:

thanks for the advice, babe1. i think some guys just need a little pushing sometimes. because he might just be taking his time and the girl is wondering when is he ever going to bring it up. they need some encouragement when it comes to having the TALK. up until now, i really didnt care about committment, but seeing as i aint no spring chicken no more grin, i'm kind of wondering whats going on in my relationship, where its heading to. (going on three years) ive initiated the TALK with my partner time and time again, but he doesnt seem to be too concerned about the future. he never brings it up, i always have to make the first move to ask. so im contemplating moving on. embarassed because i don't want to hang around and eventually find out that i was wasting my time cry




Three years is actually a long time but maybe the first few years you were not ready and maybe he was not, but if you think you are ready and you ain't getting nothing out of him, then maybe you need to really tell him that you want him to give you an answer but on the other hand, if he is not established, that could be another reason beacuse most real men don't want to live off a woman. Try and talk to him again and ask him what his reasons really are and if you love him and wanna hang around much longer, do it. You might not regret it, but being that you alone know your man, i am sure you can figure out if he is just there for a ride or if it is ever gonna happen. It being marriage but If you are religious, pray over it. Goodluck!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by babe1(f): 5:35am On Sep 02, 2006
Busta:

is it me or are girls these days in a desperate haste to get married


****GUYS BE WARNED****


Busta, it is not that we are in desperate haste like you put it, but women have what is called biological clock and we know when it starts ticking. You don't want to marry a 40 or 40 something old woman that will not be able to have babies or have difficulty carrying your child now do u? And you would not want your sister dating a guy for 2 to 5years only to find out that he was never gonna marry her? So c'mon now.
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by soulpatrol(f): 4:29pm On Sep 02, 2006
thanks,babe1. your advice is much appreciated cool
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by babe1(f): 5:31am On Sep 06, 2006
You are very welcome, just make the right decision for you and goodluck!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by olunifemi(f): 5:40pm On Oct 05, 2006
thanks
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by babe1(f): 7:56am On Dec 13, 2006
Olunifemi, what ever happened with ur situation? Any changes?
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by Bosdem(f): 4:39pm On Oct 25, 2007
Take a walk, except if u too are not ready
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by bebe2007(m): 9:38am On Oct 26, 2007
All i can say is that i totally agree with those that said the guy was in it for the sex only. Guys can be assholes sometimes. I really wonder how they have sex without involving their emotions, i always wonder. Its an act that only very few women ( sex workers) can get away with. We always find ourselves falling for the person at the end of the day. I had a similar experience and it was painful. When i mean PAIN, i mean it in everyway!!!!! This said guy, was the very one for me, i was totally and completely in love with him. God!!! dunno if i can ever love that way again. He was selfish and controlling (i realized one day). Much older than me so you would expect that he would be ready to settle down soonest. He was my type of hype, a complete package physically but inside, he was an empty tank, emotionally unavailable, unromantic. All these i realized later though, i was blind and didnt see these at first but with time i realized. I talked to him, he had absolutely nothing to give or tell me, he simply said he was not ready and he didnt intend to hurt my feelings and that was it. Talk about COLDSTONE!!!!! Boy!!!! was i silly!!! i just took a long walk away from him o!!!

You really cannot force such things on a person it all depends on his feelings. I do not believe that there was love form his end, i was blinded by my own feelings. Babes do not be fooled, nothing like give him time or wait awhile, FOR WHAT IF I MAY ASK? for the guy to decide, "hmmnn i thinkl i love this woman" who the hell does he think he is if you value yourself you would walk away big time.

I got some terrible advice from people then, some said "you nor know say na woman dey propose to man these days you go position yourself well so that e go know say you dey wait" in other words i should stay and condonne all the selfish attitude, just because i want to be a MRS. Am not that desperate i told them. Its either the man is willing or he is not.
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by simmy(m): 2:56pm On Nov 01, 2007
sorry o
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by MissD1(f): 12:10am On Nov 08, 2007
nawa oh una no go kill person for this naira land!!!!!!

i beg pick race you no need am
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by ThoniaSlim(f): 12:18am On Nov 08, 2007
@topic

Its simple, you quit the relationship and stop wasting your time, cus the guy might just be taking you for a ride.
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by MoOdYLaDy(f): 3:45am On Nov 08, 2007
Why do people ask silly questions something, knowing damn well the answer is right in front of them.

So what kind of advice do you want oh, tell you to force him into a relationship undecided
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by almondjoy(f): 7:51am On Nov 08, 2007
MoOdYLaDy:

Why do people ask silly questions something, knowing damn well the answer is right in front of them.

So what kind of advice do you want oh, tell you to force him into a relationship undecided



I wonder oh!  If they get cussed at--these are the first to complain one is insensitive.  A  man does not want "committment" and you keep hanging around him or keep finding your way to his bedroom? Such a man needs to hook up with a lady who does not want any committment---Simple!!!!!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by Kenyaboy: 2:03pm On Jan 06, 2010
Ok, let me add my two cents, there are some kind of women who cannot differentiate getting married for the sake of getting married and getting married because you love someone.

I was involved with one of the kinds of ladies that had her whole clan forcing her to get married, and her biological clock was ticking i think. So what happened is that she was very open to any man. 3 months down the line, i realized this woman has issues to do with submission, she was a lawyer and she was just talking about rights of the woman, rights of the child, rights bla bla bla.

which african man will have rights in his house? So i told her listen we are not going anywhere with that lawyer attitude of yours. You are becoming a future wife, so plz drop the legalistic jargon.

Guess what? She went around saying i was committment phobic bcoz i couldnt deal with a "tough" woman.

I told her, plz take your legalistic speaking terms to the moon.

Now tell me, if you are a man and realize that the woman you are dating really wants to get married "for the sake", just to please the clan/family etc, but she isnt wife material, will you commit?
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by fifi09(f): 11:49pm On Jan 12, 2010
@olunifemi: IMHO, I think it's a bad move for women to have "the talk" with their men.

Personally, I think it should be the other way around.

Trust me, when a man wants you he knows what to do, n makes the move!

For example, if he’s already planning ahead your next trip, your next holidays, even if is still 5 months ahead, it means he sees his future n the rest of his life with you, then he loves you. If he wants you to get to know his family it means he wants you to be a part of his family too. When a man is serious about you n about your relationship, he’ll want you n his family to get to know each other n get along. Then he might take the next step.

Ladies, action speaks[b] louder [/b] than words!!!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by sugarpp: 11:11am On Jan 13, 2010
a girl shouldn't wait forever there shld b a timeframe 4 exit cool
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by DRchandus(f): 8:39pm On Feb 24, 2010
@babe2007,ure spot on with ur answer!!had a similar experience!so similar its scary!!and i sooo walked out of his sorry Bottom!!imagine saying he dint want to hurt my feelings!!hissss, like he was some demi god sent down to all women kind!!dats d last time any guy says dat to me, nonsense!!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by DENISE17(f): 8:38am On Feb 25, 2010
it has happened to me.i went thru all his tests u can think of.after almost 10 years,he told me that he wont marry me & i shouldnt expect him to commit to me.they dont marry, so that when u've reached an expiry date,they can just get rid of u & move to the next hot thing.so marriage/commitment puts a limitation to their lifestyle.it's a need for them to maintain things that way.it's not what i could have done to pass his every test, he was still going to get rid of me anyway, and he knew in his heart that he'll never marry me, but i didnt.but what they dont realize is that their own consequences will eat their emotions alive, cos their souls will never be at peace,
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by fifi09(f): 6:15pm On Feb 25, 2010
DENISE17:

it has happened to me.i went thru all his tests u can think of.after almost 10 years,he told me that he wont marry me & i shouldnt expect him to commit to me.
shocked

That was hella long… Ohhh no!

DENISE17:

it has happened to me.i went thru all his tests u can think of.after almost 10 years,he told me that he wont marry me & i shouldnt expect him to commit to me.they dont marry, so that when u've reached an expiry date,they can just get rid of u & move to the next hot thing.so marriage/commitment puts a limitation to their lifestyle.it's a need for them to maintain things that way.it's not what i could have done to pass his every test, he was still going to get rid of me anyway, and he knew in his heart that he'll never marry me, but i didnt.but what they dont realize is that their own consequences will eat their emotions alive, cos their souls will never be at peace,

Oh yeah! Sooner or later they'll find out.
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by Youngpo413: 4:28pm On Sep 29
olunifemi: it hapened 2 me abt a yr ago and wht i did was just 2 leave him alone.but after tellg a friend abt it,he said i shd hv waitd a bit atleast 4 him 2 say he wasnt interested.i dO not REGRET leavg him though but i just want u guys 2 tell me if i was wrong wt my decision.



you are regretting already!
Re: When A Man Doesn't Want Commitment In A Relationship by Youngpo413: 5:53pm On Sep 29
almondjoy:


I wonder oh!  If they get cussed at--these are the first to complain one is insensitive.  A  man does not want "committment" and you keep hanging around him or keep finding your way to his bedroom? Such a man needs to hook up with a lady who does not want any committment---Simple!!!!!



una no dey taya?

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