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| Need Advice by dory34: 9:21pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Hi everyone, this is my story. I have a son who is 5years. He stays with my cousin full time. My cousin took care of him from 8 mnths till tday. I'm so much ashamed to say that i never contributed anything towards him , not even one cent. The child doesnt know I'm.the mother. He only knows my cousin as his own mother. The problem is now I want him back, I told my cousin she is not happy about it. Should i take him by force or should I leave him with my cousin. I do miss him , but never really did anything to show that i miss him. I never visited him except when my cousin brings him. My cousin doesn't have kids of her own.. what must I do? |
| Re: Need Advice by Nobody: 9:27pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
don't try it just leave the son there and allow your cousin to do the needful thing. its not proper for you to take your son away. wen the time comes your son will know you. |
| Re: Need Advice by Mathematical(f): 9:37pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
[bORISHIRISHI CASE.. DONT FORCE IT,YOU'RE REAPING WAH YOU SOW.. IF YOU LOVE THE CHILD LET HIM BE WITH YA COUSIN, HIS HAPPINESS MATTERS..WHEN TIME ROLLS ON HE'LL SURELY KNOWS,THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO DO THE NEEDFUL ][/b] |
| Re: Need Advice by elantraceey(f): 9:41pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Mathematical: But depriving him the love from his own mother is not nice at all  |
| Re: Need Advice by StPete: 9:42pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Do you now have a source of income if you eventually take your child back? What were your reasons for not wanting to visit him since 8months till date? Sometimes we should look beyond our own selfish reasons and always consider whats best for others. If the kid is doing fine at the moment, give him time to grow while u chase after other things to keep him going strong for the future. |
| Re: Need Advice by goldenone(f): 9:42pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
Well u av a fault there ... however u don't necessarily av to take him by force or tell him now, u can start by taking him during the weekends or holidays, shower him wif extra love and care, perform ur role as a parent and with time he will get to know as time will tell but if u decide to leave him wif ur cousin just like that then u av to wait and see the outcome ... |
| Re: Need Advice by Mathematical(f): 9:43pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
elantraceey: Yeah, I know how hurtful it is for a mother.. |
| Re: Need Advice by dory34: 9:56pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
I've been working since he was 3months. But I never really been there or did anything for him. I'm financially okay just now I feel im ready to be a mother. My cousin did a very good job I agree and the bond between them is very strong. My cousin is refusing to give him back |
| Re: Need Advice by ronald4lif(m): 9:58pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
This is a very difficult situation for you and your cousin, I like the fact that you admitted you weren't a good mom to the little man. What I think you need to do first is try very hard enough to get close to your son, be very supportive and develop a bonding with him whilst he's still living with your cousin. Do this for a few months or a year first then you can have heart to heart talk with your cousin why you want to have your boy back and start playing the role of his mom which you have never been living up to. Whatever your decision you have to remember that your cousin deserve equal custody of him like you do, if not even more than you. We both know how difficult it is to take care of a less than a year old baby. And the fact that she doesn't have a child of her own will hurt her terribly given that she may have grown to love the boy like the child she couldn't have. In the likely event you take your boy back, I hope you don't restrict her access of seeing and loving him, she's a great part of his life. And it will be good if you always remind him of the woman who took care of him as a baby. Please always be considerate in whatever decision you arrive at. I am curious to know what may have led you abandon your baby and why you suddenly wants him back. Do you really want to have custodian of him because you are up and ready to be a good mom or because you have been listening to ill advice from people who may have been saying things like 'go take your child back now or risk losing him forever when he's grown? |
| Re: Need Advice by Nobody: 10:06pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
And how does that fuc.king concern me  |
| Re: Need Advice by passionate88: 10:38pm On Jan 29, 2015 |
elantraceey:Which love? Didn't you read that she never contributed a dime to his well being? Let her start by showing him love and care |
| Re: Need Advice by Urine: 8:54pm On Jan 30, 2015 |
dory34: You can't eat your cake and have it, you can't plant cassava and harvest cocoyam. You get the gist? |
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