Genius

davidflo:
Humorous n deep. I'm blessed.

How about you get blessed by the word of God ?

Nairaland beware

U re so rite!!! So deep, tot provoking and a whole course meal 4 tot. Welldone

Nice one standd


I don't understand why I have this weird feeling that seun himself moved this thread to fp

I cant believe I read all..

Funny Skit..


Thumbs Up Standd

Nice one standd.

Funny but true and deep.

Still, there are people who genuinely love and stay true.

Our fore fathers didn't have to tell their wives anything, the women then, practically did all they were told by their parents, including who to marry, once married, these women become properties of their hubbies and literally worship/fear him, so they endured all the men's excesses without complaining.

It's not as if they had it better.

At least someone should show this girl some love

Yeah, we don't really understand love, but we try when we believe our feelings are honest.
That's not to say there aren't people who lie though. One would be smart to nurse a healthy skepticism for anyone who professes love freely.

So what is love? Who knows really. Just eliminate all that doesn't seem like love instead.



Love your voice, Standd.

Standd

All these for you



You have just spoken my mind

Love do not exist in the context of which we have been brought, and if we are to be practical - Love is subjective.

It is not just about Nigerians, it is what is obtainable everywhere.



The most important factors in relationships are what you have already listed

'But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.'

searching4love

This piece is for you o

standd:



I think the part our society plays on issues of love is deeply rooted in traditions and customs. Our ancestors did not know what 'love' in dating and marriage is until white men came to introduce religion and to preach love.

I used to feel that Religion and Love are just two big words used to keep humanity in check. These two words alone have subdued a lot of people in various aspects.
And then when I see ladies here saying that Naija men ain't romantic, I begin to wonder how a man can toil through the hardships of this country, save enough money for our 'shawarma', Peruvian hair and chrome-wheel cars and still have time to be romantic Let's not forget that PHCN doesn't even give enough power to support romance of any kind self..Lol
And our ancestors were definitely not 'Romantic' so why are we trying to form romance now, who teach us? Ojukwu abi Awolowo.

Call me old fashioned, but I still believe in love

Surely love exists. Once in your life, you meet someone that blows your mind completely. Someone who loves you completely and you love that person back.

Babe, love exists. Although in today's society the word has been so bastardised, and the true meaning lost, but it surely exists.

Nneka123:
Wow! Really long, glad I read it

I am too scared to read the whole story. I just read the first paragraph. Please can you explain others to me?

Interesting!








This piece stole my heart

In Tony tetuila's voice ''i'm in love with two women, i don't know which one to take''

Nneka123:
Wow! Really long, glad I read it

you mean you read all that handout??

What's interesting to me is how easily people totally dismiss older generations, and/or the ancients in almost every regard - in sex, war, social mannerisms, and all manner of other societal elements.

They didn't have problems like we do. They did not love, or romance like we do. And additionally, they were not aware of, or simply did not engage in the myriad of sexual positions 'they' invented (all that just poofed into being).

Your grandfather would blanche if he knew what you did behind closed doors. Not because he's your grandfather, but because you've rendered him a simplistic being who in all his wisdom and age, does not know of what you know, or did not in youth and exuberance, do it himself.

I wonder why we often 'dehumanize' older generations?

They did not know? They did not do? They did not engage in human feelings, and/or act out romantic scenarios? Make mistakes? Have their flaws, and problems?

We are not their product. *sarcasm*

Case in point, The "Yejide" is your story had no reason to marry "Bala". He for no reason at all tugged at her arm, and she for no reason at all followed, and bore him 15 children. No bother giving her the materialistic view you gave your character "Freda", because for the simple fact that "Yejide" was from another generation, she could not have been? Similarly, "Bala" could not have been enamored by "Yejide's" 'ukwu' as was the case with his modern counterpart?

Conversely, your modern characters could not have just as easily experienced actual love, rather than the materialistic haze and sexual enticement/lust they all presented with?

All the above questions are, of course, rhetorical. We all know the human condition - in all it's complexity - to be interminable. Good or bad, people have always been the way they are.

I dont use the word when i dont mean it,oddly enough as soon as i blurt it out the girls always keep away from me.. dont just understand female logic atimes

Lovely write up,a 9ce flow,it spoke my heart,love in 9ja is always in quote,4 real,hardly will u see a gurl dt luvs u for u,if not ur fine face,it may be ur long legs,or she is waiting to suck ur money...rembrd a friend dt had a 2yrs sexless relationship,was surprised to hear her ringtone from d door,since then if u dnt play smart,u'll dance to so many trash,as d op said it always grt to determine wat u wnt nd go for it,instead of d useless ''nitori'' lies

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

After reading every line to d end, all I can say to u is

I Love You........ Ur damn so creative. Kudos

Cyberbaze:


I am too scared to read the whole story. I just read the first paragraph. Please can you explain others to me?

Lazy student. Don't go and read it, be waiting for who wil read it for u

I can't believe I actually read the whole essay. It's worth it though. *thumbs up.

While the write up is interesting, I think it's too simplistic to assign materialism, sexual lust, sense of duty, love/romance to seperate generations.

Rather, these attitudes and characterstics transcend generations.

Prevailing social norms and circumstances obviously affect and affected the manner and level of expression of those attitudes.

Yejide in your story may well have sighted the endless rows of yam in young Bala's barn on her way to the farm. Bala may well have been one of the most hardworking and eligible guys in town.

Yejide might equally have been the "local" beauty that all young men fantasized about. Including Bala.

There were always faithful, unfaithful, deep, superficial and all kinds of people and there will always be.

Thoughtful

My brother make you no follow book oh look am and go your way. Fela Anikulapo Kuti

Dayuum.! Like Ishilove like standd. It's little wonder they're pals.

This satire catches the true statusco of the average naija fake lovelife. Brilliant stuff here.

surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

This part got me thinking....

You write up holds a lot of sense. A worthy front page material.

standd:



You have to love me na, my wife

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