taiwolusol:
The Op is blessed. Just what I needed to start my day.


I laughed so hard the woman sitting beside me here in this bus started thinking I was going Gaga.

Oahray:
Standd, awesome piece, I must say. It's a shame that we (humans, especially Nigerians) generally prefer lies. I hope that changes soon, though I doubt it ever will.

Nneka123:
Wow! Really long, glad I read it

standd:



And our ancestors were definitely not 'Romantic' so why are we trying to form romance now, who teach us? Ojukwu abi Awolowo.

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
[b]Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****[/b]
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

Amhappy:
Love is the most abused word on earth. A lot of people profess love to deceive,men mostly do this. I always say that love is never enough for marriage or relationship,trust,loyalty,friendship,being responsible,acceptance,understanding,perseverance,wisdom are virtues that love cannot replace.

bigdiva:
ignorant piece. very ignorant piece.

Mobi47:
standd
Kai, I m so happy reading this, tnk u very much, infact another name for this thread, is 'the conspiracy of love'. God wil bls u sis, see this issue has bn in my mind for a long time now. A guy wil jst meet a girl in a bnk nd b4 u kno it(bcus d guy has money) she wil get married to d guy nd forget abt love. This tends to border me cus it sms as if true love doesnt exist anymore, BUT I TNK IT DOES. I really liked d way u talked abt facebook love, chevron etc.... Hopefully, our girls wil learn. Nd d guys nds ds too. Tnks once again sis. More of this pls.

Urine:
standd, God bless you for this post. My mate sent me this link and said "Finally someone that thinks like you". This article is brilliant, spot on. The word "Love" has become an easy tool for lies and deception or maybe it's just ignorance but there's a trick I learnt while I was younger and I always tell my mates to use it;

1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

Test every person that uses the word love, it won't take long before you figure out if they are real or not.

Mikwus:



Well said sir.............very deep words especially for the highlighted parts

Brandnew2:
Hian! @ihedinobi2
Do you believe I would have the patience to read all that?

ihedinobi2:
Not that I think you'll believe me, I'm just saying it anyway.

Standd, I'm as Nigerian as they come. From deep in the East. And I know exactly what love is and what it is not. And I don't think I'm being arrogant or boastful saying that because, well, it's the exact same type of speech you use in declaring that Nigerians don't know what love is. I can be just as confident as you are, you see.

I am going to be matter-of-fact about this. Ever since sexúal promiscuity became fashionable, love has been an ambiguous word. This would only be news to those who have never stopped to think. You have only to think how important TV and cinema is in fashioning ideology to understand that.

First, there was an agitation for better treatment for women in the West. Domestic violence was an issue way back before Hollywood. There was also the issue of poor pay because of the Industrial Society that existed then and treated men like machines that incidentally had biological functions. Women needed to be able to bring in income to augment what their men had. So the agitation expanded to accommodate the right to work and be paid.

By the time Hollywood arrived, the agitation had spread to include sexùal "freedom" which essentially was licence for promiscuity. Hollywood (that is, moving pictures) was like dry wood for that fire. Before you knew it, sex became a household commodity. Suddenly, the term "Victorian" was coined to mean "sexuàlly repressed".

What followed? Wanton women at every corner. Easy sex for men. Without the attendant responsibility. Also since men were now competing with women for work too, manliness had depreciated both in appeal to young men and in value to society.

Love thus began to be defined by hormonal changes. "If I feel this way, it must be love." "If I feel that way instead, it mustn't be." Now, since it is women who do this whole emotional, feely-feely thing really, and you had gotten used to agitating to be heard you also took responsibility to define love.

Here's what happened. Men don't feel like you do. It's pretty black and white for us, ORDINARILY. "I like her, she's such a nice girl and she's pretty too." That's it, the dude is sold. He simply looks are how you behave and how you look and then he starts looking to get your attention. But now, it's supposed to be some kind of feeling. That's what mothers start telling their sons and women are shouting from every rooftop. And men have been schooled into listening.

So we start peeping around in our souls to figure out HOW WE FEEL. Truth? We find nothing. Nothing, that is, besides, raging sexùal desire. And we say, "ok, that's probably what she means". So we start describing love in terms of horniness. But then we find that as men we can feel the same way about several females at once. How can we choose then?

We don't. We just try to make the most of it while we keep looking for that "something special" that tells us we've found the one. We don't ever find it until we learn to see past a woman's physical appearance. So we take a looooooooong time to settle down.

And women feel used.

That's just the result of messing with life's natural course.

Love has a sexùal component. There is no doubting that. But love is not just about how Hot seeing or thinking about you makes keep feel. That's for guys.

For women, your feelings may be slightly more complex. There is the "feel safe with him" issue. There is the "feel at home/I can talk about anything with him". And there's the "he makes me weak at the knees" issue too. All of them are love, as far as women are concerned. But what you typically go with today is the last.

All that because one big truth is lost on us today: man and woman are sexùal complements. Regardless how either looks, if you marooned a pair on an island with no access to any other human being they WILL have sèx. It is not debatable. But today, everything seems to be so anyone can try. A hunk of a man will sleep wíth a crippled woman with a half-burned face if he sees that she's all he has. And enjoy it too. Although the enjoyment will last much longer if she's a really good person. And a drop-dead killer beauty will báng a toothless, short ugly man and enjoy it too if there was no other person around. Especially if he's a really good person.

If the marooning happened after they've experienced other lovers or seen other "more attractive" people, it will take a few years maybe, but soon their whole world will consist of each other and that will be quite enough for them. Until you bring in new people, that is. For some though, even new people will make no difference.

Sex is therefore a natural response that either sex has to the other. Thus it should be taken for granted when the issue is romance.

What is Love? It's a deliberate decision to make somebody else your business. Every single thing about them - their insecurities, weaknesses, strengths, pride/confidence/sense of identity, hopes and fears - becomes your own pet headache. They are your burden to carry and your feast to enjoy.

That is Love. I challenge anybody to dispute it.

Do Nigerians know what love is? Well, if Love is about making somebody else your own wahala, I'd say Nigerians are probably more likely to know what it is than the violently individualized West that focuses so much energy on using legislation and science to disrupt trust-fueled human relationship.

The Nigerian economy is hard, so men marrying late is not really that far-fetched. Nor is it particularly surprising that men keep long-term romantic relationships. I doubt that many men start out expecting that it would take three, five, ten years to marry the girl that's got them wrapped around her little finger. I fell in love with my ex early 2007 and was fighting my dad late 2008 to help me set up a business so I could marry her (didn't tell him the agitation was because of her o). And I know a bunch of other stories like that. Even better.

The real problem? It is defining romantic and marital love by sex. Doing that means that you the woman will feel used when things get tough or drag. Because, like it or not, a woman's body is a major prize she gives, in her own eyes (and in a man's eyes too).

What else can romance be about? Geez! Nigeria is hard. Both of you want to settle down and do life together. Combine your intellectual power and share your drive and ambition and you will both accomplish it together like a joint project. He wants a good job? Well, you know how to Google, right? You can discuss qualifications and skill acquisition, no? When he's had a hard day, can he trust you with his fear that he might not get what he's fighting so hard for? Can he count on you to share some of your strength with him when he's lost so much of his?

And you. Can you trust him with your tears? With your fears? Your hopes? Your dreams? Can you let him lead you in your fight for destiny?

In short, can you both be friends? In the most intimate sense of that word? Can you not be a gang?

People do it all over the world, and certainly in Nigeria too. I'm very Nigerian and that's how I personally roll.

When I say, I love you, I mean that even when you breathe a little different, it concerns me. You are my headache and my party. And that's really what it means. Whether in the 1500s or in 3086, at the North Pole or in the most remote village in Nigeria, that is what Love means. And those who are willing to use their heads for a little more than flood their nether regions with hormones and blood get it.


Thank you. Forgive the length of the epistle. Happens sometimes.

harrwix:
One of the best posts I have encountered on nl.....thnks standd for a nice write up and ihedinobi2 for ur wonderful comment


learned a bit or two

harrwix:
One of the best posts I have encountered on nl.....thnks standd for a nice write up and ihedinobi2 for ur wonderful comment


learned a bit or two

standd:


Thank you harrwix

***
Ihedinobi2, I have read your comment twice. I'm sure I will still read it again

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.
And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

ihedinobi2:
Not that I think you'll believe me, I'm just saying it anyway.

Standd, I'm as Nigerian as they come. From deep in the East. And I know exactly what love is and what it is not. And I don't think I'm being arrogant or boastful saying that because, well, it's the exact same type of speech you use in declaring that Nigerians don't know what love is. I can be just as confident as you are, you see.

I am going to be matter-of-fact about this. Ever since sexúal promiscuity became fashionable, love has been an ambiguous word. This would only be news to those who have never stopped to think. You have only to think how important TV and cinema is in fashioning ideology to understand that.

First, there was an agitation for better treatment for women in the West. Domestic violence was an issue way back before Hollywood. There was also the issue of poor pay because of the Industrial Society that existed then and treated men like machines that incidentally had biological functions. Women needed to be able to bring in income to augment what their men had. So the agitation expanded to accommodate the right to work and be paid.

By the time Hollywood arrived, the agitation had spread to include sexùal "freedom" which essentially was licence for promiscuity. Hollywood (that is, moving pictures) was like dry wood for that fire. Before you knew it, sex became a household commodity. Suddenly, the term "Victorian" was coined to mean "sexuàlly repressed".

What followed? Wanton women at every corner. Easy sex for men. Without the attendant responsibility. Also since men were now competing with women for work too, manliness had depreciated both in appeal to young men and in value to society.

Love thus began to be defined by hormonal changes. "If I feel this way, it must be love." "If I feel that way instead, it mustn't be." Now, since it is women who do this whole emotional, feely-feely thing really, and you had gotten used to agitating to be heard you also took responsibility to define love.

Here's what happened. Men don't feel like you do. It's pretty black and white for us, ORDINARILY. "I like her, she's such a nice girl and she's pretty too." That's it, the dude is sold. He simply looks are how you behave and how you look and then he starts looking to get your attention. But now, it's supposed to be some kind of feeling. That's what mothers start telling their sons and women are shouting from every rooftop. And men have been schooled into listening.

So we start peeping around in our souls to figure out HOW WE FEEL. Truth? We find nothing. Nothing, that is, besides, raging sexùal desire. And we say, "ok, that's probably what she means". So we start describing love in terms of horniness. But then we find that as men we can feel the same way about several females at once. How can we choose then?

We don't. We just try to make the most of it while we keep looking for that "something special" that tells us we've found the one. We don't ever find it until we learn to see past a woman's physical appearance. So we take a looooooooong time to settle down.

And women feel used.

That's just the result of messing with life's natural course.

Love has a sexùal component. There is no doubting that. But love is not just about how Hot seeing or thinking about you makes keep feel. That's for guys.

For women, your feelings may be slightly more complex. There is the "feel safe with him" issue. There is the "feel at home/I can talk about anything with him". And there's the "he makes me weak at the knees" issue too. All of them are love, as far as women are concerned. But what you typically go with today is the last.

All that because one big truth is lost on us today: man and woman are sexùal complements. Regardless how either looks, if you marooned a pair on an island with no access to any other human being they WILL have sèx. It is not debatable. But today, everything seems to be so anyone can try. A hunk of a man will sleep wíth a crippled woman with a half-burned face if he sees that she's all he has. And enjoy it too. Although the enjoyment will last much longer if she's a really good person. And a drop-dead killer beauty will báng a toothless, short ugly man and enjoy it too if there was no other person around. Especially if he's a really good person.

If the marooning happened after they've experienced other lovers or seen other "more attractive" people, it will take a few years maybe, but soon their whole world will consist of each other and that will be quite enough for them. Until you bring in new people, that is. For some though, even new people will make no difference.

Sex is therefore a natural response that either sex has to the other. Thus it should be taken for granted when the issue is romance.

What is Love? It's a deliberate decision to make somebody else your business. Every single thing about them - their insecurities, weaknesses, strengths, pride/confidence/sense of identity, hopes and fears - becomes your own pet headache. They are your burden to carry and your feast to enjoy.

That is Love. I challenge anybody to dispute it.

Do Nigerians know what love is? Well, if Love is about making somebody else your own wahala, I'd say Nigerians are probably more likely to know what it is than the violently individualized West that focuses so much energy on using legislation and science to disrupt trust-fueled human relationship.

The Nigerian economy is hard, so men marrying late is not really that far-fetched. Nor is it particularly surprising that men keep long-term romantic relationships. I doubt that many men start out expecting that it would take three, five, ten years to marry the girl that's got them wrapped around her little finger. I fell in love with my ex early 2007 and was fighting my dad late 2008 to help me set up a business so I could marry her (didn't tell him the agitation was because of her o). And I know a bunch of other stories like that. Even better.

The real problem? It is defining romantic and marital love by sex. Doing that means that you the woman will feel used when things get tough or drag. Because, like it or not, a woman's body is a major prize she gives, in her own eyes (and in a man's eyes too).

What else can romance be about? Geez! Nigeria is hard. Both of you want to settle down and do life together. Combine your intellectual power and share your drive and ambition and you will both accomplish it together like a joint project. He wants a good job? Well, you know how to Google, right? You can discuss qualifications and skill acquisition, no? When he's had a hard day, can he trust you with his fear that he might not get what he's fighting so hard for? Can he count on you to share some of your strength with him when he's lost so much of his?

And you. Can you trust him with your tears? With your fears? Your hopes? Your dreams? Can you let him lead you in your fight for destiny?

In short, can you both be friends? In the most intimate sense of that word? Can you not be a gang?

People do it all over the world, and certainly in Nigeria too. I'm very Nigerian and that's how I personally roll.

When I say, I love you, I mean that even when you breathe a little different, it concerns me. You are my headache and my party. And that's really what it means. Whether in the 1500s or in 3086, at the North Pole or in the most remote village in Nigeria, that is what Love means. And those who are willing to use their heads for a little more than flood their nether regions with hormones and blood get it.


Thank you. Forgive the length of the epistle. Happens sometimes.

standd: ...They profess love over and over again like [b]mentally-challenged oafs.

ghostofsparta:

LWKMD

Like I keep stating...

....in Nigeria, love is the expression of emotional disturbance that transpires between two sensually challenged or sometimes unbalanced people.

standd:
•
Standd. On Love and a typical Nigerian.
© 2015

All rights reserved ®

****

By now you know I am a Nigerian- Born, 'bread' and 'ewa-agoined' in Lagos, Nigeria.

And oh, I have been in love, with people, places and the good things of life. Now to the topic of discourse..

I once told my friend that when a Nigerian talks about love, he never really understands love in the context of relationship and marriage.
Even our ancestors did not buy into the sham called love in the contexts mentioned above...

****
200 years ago, in one remote village in Nigeria...
Bala went on a journey to a land far away, and returned home with 18year old maiden named yejide. No questions asked, no fanfare, no useless and unnecessary profession of love and whatnot, no shawarma, no trips to the mall, no lies...
Bala and his maiden bride, lived happily ever after.
Bala became a successful cocoa farmer, with 12-15 children sired from his loins...
Let us not forget that Bala probably married other wives and never slacked in his duties as a husband, father and head of the home...
Bala probably never mouthed the word love, yet he lived with his wives in peace and contentment.

****
Two years ago, Lekki, Nigeria.

Freda met Jude inside one of the many shops at Spar...

'Cheiii, see this clean guy, designers from specs to shoes, nice hair-cut, sweet skin-tone...God pls let him look at him...oh God! I love him already'

Freda mused within while pretending not to see Jude. She then stylishly turns her backside to him, ensuring that her well proportioned 'Ukwu' is in Jude's line of vision.

Then the Ukwu catches Jude's eyes...(Pls note, the Ukwu, not Freda's character, caught Jude's eyes)

'Oh my god! Baba, see yansh, if I no knack this babe, make I die...na my food be this one'

Meanwhile, Jude has a fiancée, a girlfriend at his work-place, a side-chick and Chinwe, the FWB.

So, Freda meets Jude and in the course of talking and gisting, they mention LOVE a thousand times, over and over again.

They exchange pings and buzzes, send a million emojis, Jude dazzles Freda with his cash and swag while Freda swings from cowgal to 'kukere' on the king-sized bed.

Pls, don't ask me what Jude and Freda are up to right now...We all know Jude will not get married until he is nearing 60, when there are a million Fredas asking for his 'Love' and then maybe there's no job ( Ok, pls blame Jonathan) or perhaps Freda's wife-material can barely sew a blouse ( forget the love they claim to share) or maybe, just maybe, one pastor somewhere saw a vision that Jude's wife is fair-skinned...If Freda is dark-skinned, then love will frizzle into thin air...

And Freda just realized she is nearing 40 and her biological clock is about to crash ( No, she can not change the battery)... So she no longer loves Jude...

Oh! She even blocked him on whatsapp...end of story.


****
2 weeks ago, somewhere in Nigeria, two people meet on an online forum and 'fell' in 'love'.
They exchanged PMs, flirt and cat-fished each other to Jerusalem and back. Then finally, they meet...

Boy: Oh! You are so lovely. I love you so much. I will marry you. I feel like I have met you since forever.

Girl: I love you too. Yes, I will marry you.

Boy: I love you

Girl: I loved you first.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you and I want you.

Boy: I love you.

Girl: I love you ( insert 'kiss' smiley ten times).

They have sex (though they say it's making love).
They profess love over and over again like mentally-challenged oafs.
****
Three years later, they are still dating...Ten years later, their engagement and wedding ring, lay in chibuzor's shop in Balogun market, waiting to be bought.

And they keep on dating and dating and dating till eternity....


****
Okay, for some gals- love equals how many shawarma you can buy, and how much you have to spend. For some, they will love you by washing your entire house, cooking Onugbu, Ogbolo, Masa, Jollof rice, and cat-fish pepper soup just to increase their wife-material...

Some men will love you only when your yansh is in the air, and you will hear them yelling their love as they cum all over your destiny.

Some will love with all their heart, introduce you to their folks, help you loosen your dirty braids, and even buy you a BB Z200...But please, love will not stop them from slapping your mouth till you bleed if you irk them a bit or straffing the gal down the street.

*****
Nigerians are good people, they look out for each other, welcome strangers, they help the old to cross busy roads, return 12 million naira found in Airport toilets. Nigerians are hard working, peaceful and very open. But please, can we all go back and ask our aged folks, elders and kinsmen what they said in place of 'love'.

Because as it is...
Our brand of LOVE in Nigeria can barely cross from Osun to Nnewi.

Our brand of LOVE sees and appreciate facial beauty to character.

Our brand of LOVE do not respect poor husbands but can take kicks and blows from rich husbands. Forget the lies about staying for the children, if Baba Biliki was a Vulcanizer, you will not think twice before kicking his ass out.

Our brand of LOVE do not understand marriage vows, some would say the vow today and drive to pekas tomorrow to pick up the 'fair sisters'.


I am NOT sorry to say this, love in the context of relationships and marriage is not a Nigerian thing. My opinion...


Sometimes, a man will genuinely love a gal but then the guy's mother who is from Anambra will not let him bring a Delta girl home... Not even a gal from Imo. They can love from Gaza to Namibia, love in Nigeria do NOT cross boundaries!

But surprisingly, a Nigerian Man can bring home his ancestors age-mate from the United States, and his mother will forget that Texas is farther than the city in Ogun state where she had earlier rejected the bride that dared to love her son.

They say love in Tokyo, not love in Nigeria after all.

****
Then if the guy is unlucky enough to be Hausa, and the gal's father is a very 'holy' Man of God...Then, they should fling their love in the nearest lagoon....In my country, if you truly want to love when your traditions and folks are not smiling, you simply elope. Gather your mat and bride, and flee to Egypt...If you send foreign money some years later, they will forgive you and hop the nearest bus to find Western Union Money Transfer.


****
Still on the matter......Maybe,

40 years later, somewhere in the Mega city of Lagos, Nigeria. ( Yes, Nigeria..or you think there's Biafra and Arewa Republic? )

Amy meets Kamalu in the electric train plying Ikorodu to Berger....


Kamalu: How are you ma'am?

Amy: Fine, thank you.

Kamalu: Where are you from?

Amy: Nigeria.

Kamalu: Cool, me too. I work at Chevron.

Amy: I am a tailor.

Kamalu: It's a pleasure meeting you.

They exchange numbers and plan to meet again.

**
After about five dates....

Kamalu: You are really nice and homely, will you give me 3 babies?

Amy: *blushes* Why not?

Kamalu: Ok. Let's meet at Orions clinic. I will have them freeze my sperm. When you get there, just mention my name and they will collect your eggs.

Amy: Okay.

Deal sealed. No mention of love or marriage or all these yamayama lie lie things.

Lol (Pls, I wasn't laughing at all when I said that, the same way I don't feel anything when I type - 'I love you' )

Everyone is saying it, no be only me waka come.



****
Seriously, I really wish people can come out clean and define what they want from the get-go. You want to knack a gals bum, tell her (promise marriage and thunder will fire you).

You see a nice homey girl, groom her and table your desires before her, work on yourselves and take a vow to cherish and truly love..(Pls, you can not love Chinwe and Bola and Augusta and Sumaiya all at once, fear God na).

You want to attend pekas-fellowship and Ashewo-community your entire life, brother, pls do. Your kini is your own to use as you deem fit. But don't turn that gal who truly wants you into a tramp. And don't get married, if your kini has been ordained from heaven to render community-service. (There's no crime in staying single, don't mind the noise in the market)

You see a guy that you fancy, he fancies you too and starts to woo you. Decide what you want, do you want to settle with a man, or you desire you to be gang-messed by the entire male community, all in the name of 'big-gal', your name is on the register of every club..
You want to pull a Toke-Makinwa on every party organizer...
Pls, sister...decide what you want. It's your life after all.
But pls, don't get married if you still desire your ex's anaconda or you are not inclined to love and truly love.


*****
Yes..true love exist in Nigeria, as long as people still build and visit orphanages, give to the poor, help the helpless and homeless, look out for neighbours and basically, show love and respect others.

But shouldn't we all be thinking more of mutual-respect, trust, loyalty, self-respect/preservation, moral values and mutual-interests...instead of professing LOVE that we don't even understand.

Shouldn't we be asking our 'fathers' what they told our 'mothers' back in the days before the 'oyinbos' crossed the rivers to land on our shores.

Choiiii!

'Megida, I love you so much'
Meanwhile, what she loves is his looks, his cars, his cash and his spending-abilities'

'Rebecca, I will never leave you for any other'
Meanwhile, his spirit already left his body to visit Mary.. and the desk in his office is scarred with the indents of several female butt-shapes.

How do we all mouth 'I love you' in Nigeria and still manage to keep a straight face.


Even the not-so-good-looking Sister Mary in DLCM is nearing 50, and no man has seen her in his dreams or approached her. Pls, we know the Holy-spirit does not discriminate, so tell me, why is Sister Mary not married! Why?


Love kooo, love niiiii...
Say you like me and I'll smile and say thank you but you meet me today and you say you LOVE me and you are a NIGERIAN....
*Blood of Jesus*




******
This is my opinion....Comments and contributions are welcome.
Please like and share.
Thank you.

Visit my blog:
Chesapeakesblues

****
Standd,
Feb, 2015.

Tnycee:

I dont like following people, but i will follow you... Lets go back to "40 years ago"

Emodeee:
I nvr knew u r this FANTASTIC. Standd, I LOVE YOU.