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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart (58607 Views)
When Will I Find My Soul Mate Or Heart Desire / He Refused To Call Or Ping Me: Nairalanders I Need Your Word Of Advice Pls / Talk Sense Into My Head Plssss... (2) (3) (4)
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Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by JeffreyJamez(m): 9:18am On Mar 05, 2015 |
AgapeCharis: Some "strokes " are just sickening. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 9:21am On Mar 05, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:To you. That's why the saying remains...... Different strokes for different folks. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by mtor: 9:23am On Mar 05, 2015 |
naijaboiy:I am not sure but this could be the most liked and shared post on NL 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 9:23am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Collins0609:. . What makes you think...this other guy is a better option that he won't leave her for another girl?... . . A man can go extreme...when they discover dat u're a virgin... He could be doing this becoz she's a virgin... And becoz no man had climbed on her yet... And men could be very patient till d day u decide to have sex with him... |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by cr7lomo: 9:23am On Mar 05, 2015 |
apparentlylaw: She said she wants people that are experienced and not kids like u to confuse her. The reality of life is that the new guy is more mature and is always around her . Did she mention that she is engaged to her bf or married. 95% of young relationships don't work. The truth of the matter is that ur young bf will eventually loose interest in you as u grow older . A man can't truly love u until he is ready to settle down and that's a fact . Ur bf might love u today and fall out of love tomorrow when he meets someone he feels is better because change is constant Don't allow all these posters saying stick with ur bf that is not always around to confuse you @ zaralady , are u married? The answer is no , and u are getting older. The young bf u had and trusted later dumped u , do u know if ur husband came while u were wasting ur time with ur young bf. now u are here deceiving the young girl to make the same mistake u made and some people are calling u love counsellor . What a wicked world |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by LordReed(m): 9:24am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Beverlyjean: One thing you need to do is stop lying to yourself, you don't love the first guy at least not as strongly as you think you do. Face it your real boyfriend is the one you are doing all those things with right now, the guy abroad is only your excuse not to have sex with your real boyfriend. Another thing is don't be deceived thinking that having sex will guarantee that he will marry you. 2 Likes |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 9:28am On Mar 05, 2015 |
deloon:. . Kids be ranting shit.... . . "Sentiments into logic".... Now diz is really stupld.... |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by parpylo(m): 9:28am On Mar 05, 2015 |
dz is wt iz calld d 80 _ 20 rule in relationship....... In evry relationship u cn neva get 100%.....dt brings us to d above said rule.... The 80% u get frm ur previous existing relationship feels inferior wen sum1 cums along n offers u sumtyn enticing(lyk more attention,gifts) wc iz jsh 20%......truth iz u neva know d value of dt 80% till its gone.... Gals plz wiseup,dt a guy introduces u to his frdz n family(includin mum n dad) doznt mean hes d one for u,or hes serious...from ur qxnz,it seems d new guy is askin u for sex.....dont give in cos dts wt he as bin after ryt frm d beginning...pls do nt mistake 'attention' for 'love'...'GUYS' can bii vry despirate weneva dy want sumtyn,nd 1ce dy get it...dts all..... In conclusion,plz stick to ur 1st love,make him see reasons yl u he shud bii a lil bit more into u dan his work...in all honesty,dt new guy dnt love u!! U cn c 'WHY DID I GET MARRIED 1 $ 2' for further clarification!! #lumia 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 9:29am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Beverlyjean:So the 2nd guy have been smoothing and playing with your most sensitive parts of your body ,sucking your boobs,while the young boy is fantasizing about that abroad,you have choosed your path already,you have betrayed the guy. Just let the 2nd guy deflower you and then he dump you. what I'm going too tell you now is that,Call the boy and tell him u are no longer interested so that he won't be suprised when he come back and meet a Deep and Wide pus,sy of yours. I really pity the guy. |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by EOOJ(m): 9:29am On Mar 05, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez: Yup....my uncle is 65 n his wife is 46. She was brought to him at her early age. U knw how it was done in d olden days. Why ma uncle married late was cos he wanted to marry one other lady who waas abroad but at d end it didn't work out for both of dem so he requested a wife from d village n his current wife was brought to him. So wat are u saying Atleast in dose days, we all knw dat wives were given to husbands wen they were ripe n grown but now ppl are well enlightened. At dis age sef, they are still very good friends. D fact dat u havnt seen it happen dosnt mean u shud just downplaay it as wrong. Northerners Hahahaa...there own na case na. U can't compare thers to how it used to b in d olden days ma brother |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Trustworthiness: 9:36am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Are you saying you are from a motherless home. And you can't discuss this with your mother or your father or both? Loosing your virginity does not signify love nor will it make any man to love you. So, save your virgin to after marriage. I bet you you won't regret it if keep your virginity till after wedding. I don't think you know what you want in life. Do you want boyfriend or husband? If you want by you know who to choose. But, if you need a husband the 30 yrs old guy will be only your option if the younger guy of 23 yrs old his not ready for marriage. I bet you, the younger guy may not be ready for marriage now but the older guy, from your post, is ready but do not want to push you against you will. If it is sexual urge that is driving you, why not discuss with the older guy about marriage and you can get your urge satisfied all the time with him. As per the guy not always being around in your events. What did you expect from a serious business guy that you are yet to key yourself into his life by marrying him. If you marry him or after marrying him, you will put you into consideration anytime he wants to travel. You even travel together if he has the money. Mind you, gift from a man or any action from a man you called caring and loving before marriage is only a game played by men to get what they want. It could be good or bad. Loosing virginity before marriage is totally a bad idea. Definitely, you will regret it except if the man that deflower you is the one that marry you and you yourself have not been sleeping around with guys . Because, that the two ways most problems women do have after marriage starts from. Moreover, love from the heart of men are not real yet until after marriage. It is the women themselves that have to plant the love into the heart of men through their good home training and morale background that follows the women into their marital life. This start by the man being the one that disvirgin you after the marriage and not before the marriage . This increase the trust he has for you and increase the marriage bond. This is my advise to you and all the singles reading ladies reading this post. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Megatone(m): 9:38am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Let them stop deceiving u ... no man will ever stick with a lady that cheated on them weda virgin or not. He will never trust u, u have lost him already. Start a new relationship with the new guy and dont repeat that mistake again because its anexperience already. Time waits for no one , be wise. The most important is that the new guy respects and loves u so much . Use ur head girl |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by zaralady: 9:40am On Mar 05, 2015 |
cr7lomo: Wat Is dis one saying |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by tosyne2much(m): 9:45am On Mar 05, 2015 |
naijaboiy:Lwkmd roflmao.. Oga nawa 4u ooo |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by zaralady: 9:45am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Trustworthiness: U mean she keep her virginity till after her weddin? If she keeps it till after marriage who ll disvirgin her? Her ancestor? , jst kiddin, u make sense |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by stevekeri(m): 9:51am On Mar 05, 2015 |
you are not faithful, you dont love you bf. you are make a big mistake by dating d both guys, good girl are very hard 2 find, you are not a good lady. you HV a good guy, you call your bf. you no dat he is not cheating on you.... let me tell you dis d other guy will cheat on you... if you end up wit him... follow your heart, your boyfriend HV a bright future, build it wit him and you will b happy in life. I pray for God too help you in dis. thanks |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by tosyne2much(m): 9:56am On Mar 05, 2015 |
VivaLaFrans:Thanks bro 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by heayey(m): 9:59am On Mar 05, 2015 |
1. The Older guy is so desperate, he wants to marry u in a rush. 2. You are still young. there is possibility that u might loose both guys, so prepare urself. 3. I'm really sorry for ur bf...he might forgive u only if he really loves u. 4. Are u really ready for marriage? or u just want to marry urself to the rich guy. The Best thing is to tell ur boyfriend about everything...let him know what u are going through. The choice is urs.... |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by muyikutkene(m): 10:00am On Mar 05, 2015 |
when you go to church and you are told to move closer to GOD you will not heed instead you will follow the other way. my GOD is not the author of confusion but satan. you are confused, are'nt you? go to GOD make your path straight with, read proverb 3 vs 5-7. pray that GOD should forgive all you have done and i am sure He will forgive you. Then start praying that GOD should lead you to the one He meant for. How sure are you either of them is meant for u? little words is enough for the wise. |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 10:01am On Mar 05, 2015 |
zaralady:thank God for I am a boy honey please ask me out |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by JSmart4u(m): 10:02am On Mar 05, 2015 |
zaralady:I don't see anything wrong with his request,who would want to share his future wife with someone else,that's absurd.Only players won't mind how many boyfriends you have at their backs.as for the long distance relationships,they can't work,because he will surely meet different people,people who are in resonance with his taste of a perfect woman.I advise her to go for the loving one because life is too short,don't add to the figures of unmarried women in Nigeria due to disappointments. 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Rocktation(f): 10:05am On Mar 05, 2015 |
OP, I'm sorry that I'm no longer used to talking too much on-the-go, but I just have to advice you in this matter; stay with your boyfriend. These are the years to make every kind of mistakes possible while having fun. Forget marriage first. There's more to it than just its title. I tell you this, cos I'm almost too sure that the 30year old would do you more harm than good. Most 30 year olds would know/suspect that a 21year old is in almost no way, mature to make groundbreaking lifelong commitments, and so if either party seemingly is asking for commitment from the other, he/she is either aware and ready to risk facing the looming disaster or their motive from the start, is just skewed. |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by charijee(f): 10:07am On Mar 05, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:Yet you say you don't mind 1 Like |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Tmissy3000(m): 10:09am On Mar 05, 2015 |
aphildam:hehehehe, easy na professor tak am easy na |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by epistleman: 10:09am On Mar 05, 2015 |
U wanna eat your cake and have it right? These girls ain't loyal no more... Make I tell u ds, u never c ur husband yet cos none of them will end up with u... But nawa for u @ op! Goodluck!!! |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by adahgold(m): 10:12am On Mar 05, 2015 |
zaralady: well said dearie,I love u! Wish I had someone like u. Good tinz will follow u all tru ur life... |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by zaralady: 10:15am On Mar 05, 2015 |
adahgold: I love u too...amen and too |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by deloon(m): 10:17am On Mar 05, 2015 |
foxxynik:Obviously too hard for a young street urchin to decipher. |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by JeffreyJamez(m): 10:19am On Mar 05, 2015 |
charijee: In some cases ....... |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by F22RAPTOR(m): 10:20am On Mar 05, 2015 |
naijaboiy:bro...you sabi book well well. Some of these babes want to eat their cake and have it |
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by bukatyne(f): 10:20am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Beverlyjean: @OP: Good day Let me summarize the facts as I get them: 1. You have dated your 1st boyfriend for a year + and according to you, he is wonderful et al. He gives you a wonderful feeling you have not felt before (is it before you met guy number 2 or after)? 2. You met guy number 2 one month into the relationship with guy 1 i.e. you have been carrying both guys for 1 year. 3. Guy 2 is very caring because he showers you with gifts, take you out, meet up with important dates in your life etc. (i.e. the underlining is money) 4. Guy 1 is not readily available? Any reason why? Is he working? A student? What stage is he now? 5. You have a loveometer to measure who loves you more between them 6. Not once did you mention what you want to do e.g. job, service, masters etc. I take it you don't a plan for yourself? 7. The Guy 2 wants to blackmail you to leave guy 1 as he is ready (financial muscle? and availability) which the guy 1 does not have My thoughts? 1. You do not love your first boyfriend.... if you did, you would not entertain a second man. He is your first and you ideally want the relationship to last. 2. You are easily swayed... in your words, you love 1 but care about 2 because he cares about you financially 3. Your relationship with one does not have a direction; you ought to know what guy 1 does and why he could not meet up with these events. (not blaming this on you alone) 4. Guy 2 might never never trust you. You managed to string him along for a year with guy 1. He is already telling you that you will learn to love him if you ditch guy 1 and concentrate on him solely..... He would want to track you to ensure that you concentrate on him solely and that's how abuse starts 5. Guy 1 might not be interested in the relationship either because of his unexplained aloofness. 6. You do not have a plan for your life; what do you want to do with your own life? You are 21yrs and not 31yrs so your sole goal should how to press forward in life and not boyfriend matter. To the answers of your questions: 1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy: Most likely 2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age: Only time and your commitments to making it blossom will tell. There are stories of people who married at 17 & 21 celebrating 84yrs of marriage in love and people married in their 30s divorce. I met my husband when I was 17 and he 21 and we married about 8yrs later waxing stronger 3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else: Oh well you are cheating so his cheating at worst is a revenge . Just as he is not available to meet some of your needs & wants, you are not available to meet some of his needs and wants also. As for leaving you for someone else, anything can happen tomorrow 4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love: Loose your virginity to guy 1 or Guy 2? When did sex become a proof of love madam? 5. Will I find another loving guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me: We are not God sister! you are already concluding guy 2 loves you more than guy 1... classic! 6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy: see 3 above 7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy: This one is strong. I was thinking guy 2 would even be heart things 8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?: You already 'love' guy 2, you are just using guilt to suppress the feelings so yes, you sure well I would say you end the relationship with the both of them, take stock of both relationships/what you want out of love and know if it is going to be the either of them or a third party. And babes, I do not think that Guy 2 loves you at all. He might marry you because you are young, a virgin and a graduate but love, I doubt it Goodluck 1 Like |
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