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In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart - Romance (15) - Nairaland

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When Will I Find My Soul Mate Or Heart Desire / He Refused To Call Or Ping Me: Nairalanders I Need Your Word Of Advice Pls / Talk Sense Into My Head Plssss... (2) (3) (4)

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Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by RiffRaff: 1:35am On Mar 06, 2015
naijaboiy:
angryangry
if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second. undecided

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option
angry

Confused set of species undecided

Abeg give my man, Johnny Depp credit for his quote na

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 1:56am On Mar 06, 2015
babyosisi:


A novice indeed
You are successfully juggling two men concurrently and calling yourself a novice
You are a professional nne
A seasoned pro at 21
In fact You should be teaching this as a course

Best answer. . . . You nailed it.

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 1:57am On Mar 06, 2015
babyosisi:


A novice indeed
You are successfully juggling two men concurrently and calling yourself a novice
You are a professional nne
A seasoned pro at 21
In fact You should be teaching this as a course

Best answer. . . . You nailed it
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by JoeCutie(m): 7:22am On Mar 06, 2015
Collins0609:

Eiyaa are u begging for her love. there are too many virgins to view Dan ansa a har.lot who is so proud to say it. after all ashawo no get shame. @zara are u married or is guys still sampling u punny. go and settle dat sagging tiring punny .it need it. do u know what common sense last time I check it has no meaning in my dictionary. tell ur sister dat not a virgin. abi na u enact d freedom of speech law. I rest my case
Begging for whose love? Bros, it's clear you don't know me. And please, if you have some personal beef with her, just find a way to settle. E-fights aren't healthy at all, trust me. smiley

2 Likes

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by VNOS(m): 5:30am On Mar 07, 2015
acidtalk:
Its been long I made a comment here. I will do so because even though you are young, you really sound mature and humble.

Now this is my 20 shillings;

* I totally understand your feelings for your boyfriend, but truth be told, the feelings appears to be so strong because he is the first you ever given a yes to his proposal.

* Your boyfriend is still too young to get so committed to. For crying out loud he is just 23 and just starting life. Aside the issue of settling down which I doubt he won't be ready for in the next 5years, before he can be termed a REAL MAN WITH EXPERIENCE he will need almost 7years or more of "hard knock life", rejection, betrayals, boss/employee politics, businessman/client relationship, family gimmicks and lots more. Being a man isn't all about graduating from school, getting a job, buying a car, living in your own apartment and sexual experiences. Maturity comes with age and time. I still believe your boyfriend hasn't attained that stage.

* Before you can start comparing your boyfriend with this other guy, you need to spend more time with your boyfriend as you do to the other guy. Long distance relationships are always the SWEETEST. But a NIGHTMARE when both parties see themselves regularly. What am I trying to say? You still really don't know your boyfriend as much as you think you do.

* NEVER EVER vouch for anyone, not even your own mother. Saying your boyfriend will never leave you is a bloody lie. You are inexperience, naive and too deep "inlove" to think any man/woman can not dump you at anytime without any explanation.

* This other guy might not love you more but he is likely to be more serious and committed to the relationship due to his age and maturity. And bearing in mind you are young, a graduate and MOST OF ALL a virgin, any right thinking guy will want to grab you fast and marry you while he copes with your immaturity rather than settling for most of the "breathing PUBLIC PITS" we have walking all over the nation right now.


If you aren't ready to marry in the next 5-6years, stick to your boyfriend even though no guarantee he won't dump you before then, otherwise, give the other guy a chance.


Kiah! My fingers dey ache. Come buy my book LOVE TALK BY ACIDTALK if you want further advice. Lol!

All the best.


Seriously one of the best advice for you I have seen so far. Long distance relationships are really the 'sweetest feeling' but can be nasty as hell when both of you finally are together and see frequently. Talking from experience. So be wise. I'm not saying you should dump ur current bf outright, but the sad truth is that chances are that you guys will eventually break up anyway. You are both just too young and trust me when I say you cant be absolutely sure he wont be the 1st to dump you later on as the various twists and turns of life comes. And also whats to say that once he takes ur virginity he wouldn't leave? Trust me that's probably the greatest factor he considers. And NEVER say he is not or has not cheated on you. You just cant vouch for any guy like that. The new guy may not even be your best choice in the end but truthfully he most like is a better and safer choice for you right now especially if you are willing and ready to settle down. I don't know his mind but i sense some truth in him, though blunt, but absolute truth. I may not like the idea of him asking you to leave ur bf for him but I understand his actions cos he does love you and really wants to be with you hence he can't always hold himself back from acting like that. And besides, he knows you are a VIRGIN and wants to quickly snap you up sharp sharp. Which mature man wouldn't want that?
Unfortunately, both guys already know u re a virgin so you can't avoid having to hurt one of them deeply and maybe eventually lose both. Your present bf may take ur virginity and still eventually &most likely leave you later on, and once the new guy finds out may be too disappointed to continue with you and also leave. Unless he loves you like mad, he will leave. OR You give this new guy your virginity and your present bf leaves you from the hurt of losing out like that. He may even just decide to stay a while and suck whats left of ur cherry as much as he can just as a small form of consolation price for him but he ll definitely dump you later on. So the best thing for you to do then may just be to keep your virginity while sticking with the new guy until you are absolutely sure he's marrying you. And that's a factor of your own readiness for marriage too.
Absolute BEST thing to do, keep your virginity till marriage. Whomever it is you eventually marry. It may end up not even being any of these 2 guys you ll be surprised how life works. smiley But I know that's hardly possible these days. cheesy So best of luck with what ever you decide.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 10:46pm On Mar 09, 2015
deloon:

Obviously too hard for a young street urchin to decipher.
.
.
Yeah.... It's obviously too hard to decipher some f00lish comments..... Get going kid.....
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by aphildam(m): 7:45am On Mar 16, 2015
Threemg:


PERFECT Answer! Tell d LORD to guide u meanwhile u must confess those hidden sin if u actually trust GOD enough to guide u! Don't be deceived by material thinz, they fade with time.
yea man luke 12:15 says it all --- and he said unto them take heed and beware of coveteousness for a man's life consisteth not in d abundance of things which he possesseth
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by emma1988: 3:17pm On Mar 25, 2015
I can answer the 3rd question (about cheating). It is easy to check whether your bf is cheating on you. I use www.refog.com. Now I am sure of my husband being faithful. Wish you the same!
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by mooremedia: 12:40am On Mar 26, 2015
Beverlyjean....
Please amidst the great advice giving to you by this beautiful nairalanders.I beg you to read this book by Gary Chapman,The Five love languages.You heart will be filled with gladness that you did.You can thank me later.
Beverlyjean:


In the beginning , he said I can be with my bf but it seems like he started changing words when my bf missed those dates while he was available but even with that I might wanna be with the one I love
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by dokkyelele(f): 6:51am On Sep 01, 2016
@ebisazu opebell@gmail.com
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by tunde82seidat(f): 2:20pm On Sep 01, 2016
kboycrew:
Lady listen and listen well. Many ladies miss it life because they want to marry the person they love. God designed women to respond to love. This means your Job as a lady is to identify the person that loves you and gradually learn to love him. If you can't learn to love him then don't go ahead. 90% of ladies loose their virginity 2 their 1st love because they cherish that 1st experience but what if your 1st love never loved you?
your 1st love may have moved on in life while you may still be nursing the 1st experiences. That maybe why those precious moments in your life went with out him. Who cares about gifts? My android fone can tell me birthdays of my contacts and jumia and konga can deliver gifts so long as I ve paid ahead.
Now listen again, the bible says where a man's treasures are his heart will be there. Wen I saw my wife I was eager to meet her parents and marriage was just on my mind. I was in my early 30s. Today 7 years in marriage am happy. My wife gradually learnt to love me daily and am sure she may even love me more now. She is the luckyest among her friends in marriage because she identified the person that loved her and married him. We have a wonderful home.
I ve taken time to say all this but no one can or should take the decision 4 u. I pray u understand me.
oga m so impressed wt Ds write up because I m presently wt someone DAT loves me so much whom v not been able to love back.my question is how do I know if I can learn to love him in time as I don't want a loveless marriage.awaiting ur response sir
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by tunde82seidat(f): 2:30pm On Sep 01, 2016
OILOFGLADNESS:




send me your email, i have two life story to answer your question, after telling you the story, you can make your choice.


i don't have time to write it here because i am in the office, or better still we can comunicate on whatsapp if u so wish.


i realy understand your confusion, i will tell u my experience, my freind's experience and a colleague experience.


but know you one thing " THAT A GUY NEVER KNOW WHAT HE WANTS UNTILL HE IS READY TO SETTLE DOWN"

LOVE FOR FRIENDSHIP IS DIFFERENT FROM LOVE FOR MARRIAGE

NEVER TRUST ANYONE,

NOT ALL LOVE ENDS IN MARRIAGE

SOMEONE THAT TRULY LOVE YOU WILL CONTINUE TO EVEN IF HE DINT MARRY YOU.

MARRY SOMEONE THAT LOVES YOU MORE.

IF U ARE SINCERE THAT YOU NEED ADVICE INBOX ME.

ONE OF THE VITAL THINGS U SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR BEFORE YOU SAY YES, IS TO WHAT EXTENT DOES THE GUY'S FAMILY CHERISH YOU.

MARRY SOMEONE THAT LOVES YOU MORE.

THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU "LOVE THE READY TO SETTLE' BUT YOU HAVEN'T NOTICE IT BECUASE YOUR MIND IS SOMEWHERE.

IF YOU DON'T LOVE HIM, I TELL YOU BEING A VIRGIN WILL MAKE HIM TO IRRITATE YOU.

TALKING OUT OF EXPERIENCE!

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE A CLUE OF WHAT MY TAKE MIGHT BE.


THANKS
pls v also sent my email .kindly share d story with me.in a similar situation.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by odysey: 7:16pm On Jun 18, 2019
Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

Just saw this thread and I'm mighty curious, what path did you take and how has been the journey??
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Beverlyjean(f): 8:14pm On Jun 18, 2019
odysey:


Just saw this thread and I'm mighty curious, what path did you take and how has been the journey??

Lol... I'm no longer in the country , travelled for my master's and decided to remain here... I'm no longer with any of them... Thanks for your concern... I've � here for over 3yrs now

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 4:53pm On Jun 25, 2019
Beverlyjean:


Lol... I'm no longer in the country , travelled for my master's and decided to remain here... I'm no longer with any of them... Thanks for your concern... I've � here for over 3yrs now
Lolzz this life... we make plans but she has got other more beautiful things in store for us. I was eager to know how it will end eventually cheesy
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by SavageBoy: 8:32pm On Jun 25, 2019
0malicious:
my advice is this
1. just bear it in mind that you are young, 21 is a young age to talk of marriage.
2. Talk of marriage is not a sign of seriousness, men can talk talk n talk n introduce you to their ancestors but if they're gonna mess u up, they will.
3. Focus on building urself now. this is d most important part of my advice. I swear it can't be over emphasized. as a woman you need to have something going for yourself, have some self worth. forget the love fairy tale bullshit, it doesn't last, what your seeing is jus d welcoming parade. what makes you a real woman is not a mans appreciation but your ability to stand on your own. don't make rships d centre of your life when you ought to focus on harnessing your God given talents.
4. don't take any rship seriously for now unless your ready to get married. stop d activity with d second guy, think about it n realise d guy is selfish in his demands. if you eventually leave ur bf he might lose interest, some men re chasers it would shock you to know what they'd do to get what they want. and no this guy is not too sweet to be like that, open your eyes.
5. sex is just an activity, stop putting too much thought on it. it comes with a lot of baggage that only marriage can handle trust me.
sorry for d long post smiley God bless you.

Op she has said it all
You're just 21,is marriage ur problem, don't u have some goals you'd like to achieve or what?
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by dnawah(m): 11:55pm On Jun 25, 2019
Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you
wait until your wedding night, just pray God will help.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 5:53am On Jun 26, 2019
Beverlyjean:


In the beginning , he said I can be with my bf but it seems like he started changing words when my bf missed those dates while he was available but even with that I might wanna be with the one I love


who did you eventually marry? hismiley
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Beverlyjean(f): 6:27am On Jun 26, 2019
kneehighbootz:



who did you eventually marry? hismiley

Lol...none

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Nobody: 10:42am On Jun 26, 2019
Beverlyjean:

Lol...none
really? why?
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by dochenaj: 5:20pm On Jun 26, 2019
Beverlyjean:
Lol...none
Interesting twist. We need to hear that story too. I hope you didn't gamble away with your virginity yet.

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by femmoy(m): 8:15am On Jun 27, 2019
zaralady:
Hhhmmmmmm...dis one is strong!...my dear my good advice is to stick to ur bf, reason because a guy who is comfortable dating u while u re a relatnship ll someday cheat on u while u datin him,secondly, he is selfish, for him to ask u to dump ur bf for him...gal Dats not a good person to me...my dear u got urself into dis mess....wen I was datin my bf I got a crush on an extremely lovin guy who wouldn't mind datin me while am datin my bf, but I knew wat I wanted...am not a cheat and I cnt leave my bf for someone else...because u love ur bf doesn't mean u wnt love odas....u jst hav to control ur emotionals...don't cheat in a relatnship if u cnt stay, jst leave!...u had better dump d oda guy and stick to ur bf else u ll end up loosin both, I was in dis shoe before and wat I did was dump the distractin guy and focus on my bf tho we re no more but I didn't regret my actions...y not confess to ur bf abt wat has been going on and as him to forgive u, @least dat is a test of love....u don't need to follow ur head without ur heart or heart without ur head all u hav to do is do the right tin....do the right tin gal and it includes not cheatin on ur bf..i cn tell u since Ave been in relatnship I hav neva cheated on my bf before...not even once, be prouud to b among the decent gals

The most sensible lady I've ever come across on NL. kudos girl,I give u 1000 likes
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by femmoy(m): 8:22am On Jun 27, 2019
ZedX6:
First of all, end the relationship with the guy abroad. . . It's pointless. It won't work. Long distance relationships are an utter waste of time.

Now.

1. Yes he will dump you, therefore, you're screwed both ways anyway. It wasn't going to work. Dump him yourself and let him move on.

2. Yes. As long as that distance exists between you 2, one of you must eventually get tired of the nonsense.

3. You cannot be sure of anything. You cannot trust him. You don't even trust yourself. You are dating someone else already, and you still ask this question? Are you for real?

4. No. Don't ever do that. Having sex with him proves nothing. If he loves you as he claims, he'll wait.

5. Life is not a fairytale. It doesn't happen like you watch in movies or read in books. You are guaranteed nothing. No one makes a choice for you. You can only get advice, but the decision is yours. The consequences, you'll bear alone. I don't know if you'll find another guy or not. I'm not God. What I know, I have told you. Left for you to choose.

6. Again, no one knows what will happen tomorrow. Your mind has shifted from the guy abroad for so many reasons. Forget him and move on. Then bear the consequences of your decisions. At 21, you're an adult.

7. Use your head. The heart is mostly wrong.

OP don't listen to this crap....guy if you were the one abroad would u be happy to lose your girlfriend? besides she said she loves her boyfriend and cares about the other guy.
my advice is this: distance means nothing when the hearts are together,besides OP said he's now back in the country and they see 3 times in a month,I wonder the kind of guy (the other guy) that sees his girlfriend 4times in a week,is he jobless?
A word is enough for the wise,OP if u are wise,u would not take the crappy advise up there.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by lecky001(m): 8:31am On Jun 27, 2019
I'm married and talking from experience Sincerly no one can help you except God himself just dont loose your virginity to anyone yet but pray over it let God decide for you and be rest assured you can't fail will Him.Life time partner is very difficult but with God it's easy.
Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

1 Like

Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by femmoy(m): 8:31am On Jun 27, 2019
Beverlyjean:


In the beginning , he said I can be with my bf but it seems like he started changing words when my bf missed those dates while he was available but even with that I might wanna be with the one I love

be wise and go after who u love,I'm 101% sure that this strange guy just wanna lure u with material things,after having his way down there with u,he varnishes.

but if u choose to go with him,please don't hesitate to open another thread when he finally leaves u.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by femmoy(m): 8:38am On Jun 27, 2019
Megatone:


What of if she regrets letting the new guy go, afterall 90percent of girls that stick to their young bfs end up regreting it . Go for the new guy for your own good , talking from experience cos he will liv u once he finds what happened btw u and him. Be smart girl and stop being decieved and childish , if u know say u no wan cry for future. Good guys like the new guy are very hard to find , mark my words . Girls are still growing ,be the mature one and let ur bf go , u hold the answer ooo

how can u prove to us that the new guy is a good guy as u have said?someone advising a girl to leave her man doesn't seem like a good person to me, besides u are not God that would know who would cry in the future if not that u are just being stupid.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by SmellingAnus(m): 8:45am On Jun 27, 2019
Beverlyjean:


Lol...none
I will like to learn something from you with the following questions...

1. Who was a better lover between your main boyfriend then and your new lover then?

2. What do you regret in those two relationships?

3. What would you have done differently?

4. What is your advice to other girls in similar situation?

5. Who do you miss more between your ex main guy and your ex romantic lover?

6. Who did you think was deceiving you?

7. Finally, how did you break up with your guy and the other guy ... ( Also add which relationship ended first)

Thanks your response will help alot for someone like me that is also a relationship counselor...
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by ledamaster(m): 12:41pm On Jun 27, 2019
I will advice lyou like i would a kid sister. Whatever you do dont have sex with any of them. srop thr play play. there is or are no garantee both ofthem wont use or dump you. make your decision when they are both reafy to marry you immediately. No extra dating time or courtship. Here is the thing most men would give an arm and leg for a virgin, so stop being decieved, its a race. the first wants you the second too. bit always be wary of any man that will tell you to have sex woth him to prove love. a man that loves you wont tell you such. Graduate rpm school first wait ot put.
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by ambassadorgozie(m): 1:13pm On Jun 27, 2019
SmellingAnus:
I will like to learn something from you with the following questions...

1. Who was a better lover between your main boyfriend then and your new lover then?

2. What do you regret in those two relationships?

3. What would you have done differently?

4. What is your advice to other girls in similar situation?

5. Who do you miss more between your ex main guy and your ex romantic lover?

6. Who did you think was deceiving you?

7. Finally, how did you break up with your guy and the other guy ... ( Also add which relationship ended first)

Thanks your response will help alot for someone like me that is also a relationship counselor...


beverlyjean pls com nd answer dis, tanx
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Esomchi800(m): 1:20pm On Jun 27, 2019
Hmm We that don't have heart to love Let's just walk out please
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by Danny110(m): 7:04pm On Jun 27, 2019
Wow wow wow!
Av been reading comments and I think I high time I dropped my own bomb


*ur first bf is more matured and has seen life.. According to u,u said he travelled abroad. He went there, after all d experiences and women he so,even those much better than u he still came back to his one true love now that rare these days and I think dats enuf to let u know how much he loves u

*ur current bf is young and hopeful, he has not tasted life,he has no been tried try d fire and challenges of life.
Anything can happen dear,no matter how much u guys are in love,either of u can leave each of a tmr dats y its called a heartbreak.u are a virgin and he been faithful to u,how sure are u dat he's not getting it from odas which makes him able to calm down and be patient wit u. Life is unpredictable, anything can happen. He may go travel and loose focus on u,leaving u devastated

*ur first bf still loves and considered choosing u despite d fact that he has seen life.. He came BACK! for u,u started with this guy and here he is for u,he is proving himself to u.

FINALLY


*u shouldn't loose the moon while counting the stars dear... One is yet to prove.... Anoda has yet proven.
Here's my advice.. Keep those u love close but keep those that love u closer cos wen it gets real tough they remain.
Be with d first guy,talk to him see if he's still d guy u fell in love with,open up to him ( dat is if u are ready to get married and settle down)..
But if u know within urself that u DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED! u can continue wit ur current bf. BUT IF MARRIAGE IS D SUBJECT MATTER then go for ur first bf. Cos he has seen life and more matured to handle life..and most of all HE LOVES YOU! and had u at d back of he's mind truout out he's hustling, don't write him off because of some events he couldn't show up for because of he was making money for both of u.. Now he's made and wants to fulfill his dreams of having u as he's wife....

DON'T LET PLEASURES OF THE MOMENT DISTRACT YOU FROM D MAIN GOAL.

Thank me later hunni,���
Re: In Need Of An Experienced Advice Pls!!! Should I Follow My Head Or Heart by bdchange(m): 4:54am On Jul 04, 2019
Hmmmm I have read every piece of advise given to you since 2015 till date. It took me 3 days to do that. This is 4 years after and you just said you did not end up with any of them. Please kindly share with us your experience with both and the decision you took then. If you can answer the questions @smellinganus asked.. Fine, if not well just open up and let us know the lesson learnt from it. This is not about blaming you for whatever decision you took but getting to know what eventually happened. Even if you lost your virginity then, it is still a lesson. Pls share with us. You moved on and I believe you are doing great.

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