Dis is gettin interesting, more grease to ur elbow dear

But kitnah d pertanity cannot be determined yet....and hw did laffy know?

Queening:
But kitnah d pertanity cannot be determined yet....and hw did laffy know?

Because she told them.

That actually skipped my mind

Ciela:
Dis is gettin interesting, more grease to ur elbow dear

Thanks cici,you're heaven sent

@Kitnah, I really commend ur effort putting this story together. I just want to point out some loopholes in d story:
How can Ivie be 3 wks pregnant after 5 wks of d rape incident? Is there something u r not telling us?
Also, u didn't tell us much details abt Ivie-Dave relationship, for Ivie to give him #6m at once
Ivie suspected Martins to be d rapist, did she confront him or what?

Well done and Hbd in arrears

fam's right, kitnah. You need to put some corrective updates.
And I trust you can pull that through.

Just try to explain the whole rape incident and involve Martins more too if he's responsible.

Keep em coming, I got your back

^^^Continuation^^^

Ivie rushed to Dave's house,and the gateman opened the gate for her.

"Madam,welcome but my oga no dey,big madam just comot now now" the gateman said with a smile that means 'dash me money'.

Ivie quickly got the message and gave the gateman three #1000 note.

"Madam,thank you so much,God bless you" he replied

"It's nothing jor,by the way,who is the big madam??" She asked with concern written all over her face

"Me,I no know,,but na now now,she comot"

"Okay,thanks" she said as she quickly entered the living room,she quickly discarded what the gateman was saying,who knows if he was hallucinating?? She thought.

When she got inside,she quickly search the living room for the ring,Dave wanted to give her,but she couldn't find it.
Her curiosity made her entered Dave's bedroom,and the bedsheet was ruffled,and it has some white sweats on it,that looks like the intent remains of previous sex.

She was searching for the ring when her eyes caught a shinning gold necklace on the dressing table,she picked it "it looks like the one I brought for laffy on her birthday" she thought and dropped it,with the conviction that laffy is not the only one that has that type in the whole of lagos,and then she saw a yellow hairband that looks like laffy's own on the bed,but she ignored it with the early conviction.

She saw the ring beside the bed and quickly wore it on her second finger,and smiled,then she saw a book that looks like a diary,but it's not.

The book was filled with punchline and crazy thought,the first page has this

[b]"Your free-style is waq that I don't wanna read it//
Kid you can't spit but atleast you did it//
Too bad,I'm tougher than you,you can't spit at this limit//
Pluz you tripping,and choaking on your gimmics//
Hip hop is for cannibals,you are just a vegitarian//
I spit on you sick on you that you think of non but a vetenerian//
I lyrically invade your space like I'm alian//
You spit so lame you sound like you are di-abled//
Then I hear you flowing like you're traped on an electrical cable//
I make you sound like you are diss your owen record lable//
My style is unstable//
You the type of emcees who see me an hide under the table//
You look like a fake church priest wearing a suit with a red lable//
You're just a waste of my time//
So waq not even with my punch lines//
Immer give you a chace now to go practince more//[\b]

Then the second page has this


am stepping into d spirit REIM
rolling wit d legends and i think am even killin THEM living life in PARADISE
been there all this while never even REALISE
i make my beds up in d CLOUDS u dont have to whisper just say it LOUD
yeah just call me dark SPADE i was born a star really am not MADE [\b]


Then she quickly flipped through the pages and she saw another section titled 'my thought',she quickly opened it and saw something like

[b] "She asked me to inflict pains on her
Friend,too bad,I must say,she's so heartless"[\b]

Then the next page reads
[b] "May God forgive me for doing this
She's one of the wonderful person I've met
My conscience is pricking me per second"[\b]

Then the next page has this
[b] "She is too lovely and innocent to
Be hurt,how I wished I could be honest
With her,she really deserved the best"

Then,the second to the last page said
[b] "My feelings for her is getting intense
And real,I really do love her,how I wish
The thing we have is real,I would be the
Happiest nigga on earth,I really love her [\b]

Then the last page which happens to be of recently reads
[b] "It's a cruel world,you see friends
Stabbing eachother at the back
Because of money,I keep on feeding
Her with lies,too bad
God forgive your son" [\b]

The door opened and Dave entered quietly with rage clearly written on his face.

^^^to be continued^^^

Kizzykeziah--»thank you,I'll pay more attention to details

Fam24--»thanks,I'll sum it up in my next update,thanks for the correction

Lmao.... So Kitnah is not just a writer, she's also a rapper....lol..
Nice... Every1 has given you the obvious corrections, just take heed to them...
You are doing great...

theorbiters:
Lmao.... So Kitnah is not just a writer, she's also a rapper....lol..
Nice... Every1 has given you the obvious corrections, just take heed to them...
You are doing great...

Lmao

Rapper keh?? It was stolen o

But I'm pretty good with lines

Hehehe, Kitnah you will release album soon o

Now, I hope Dave would prove his rap lines

kitnah:

Lmao

Rapper keh?? It was stolen o

But I'm pretty good with lines

Lol...really?
Wud love to see ur own lines

Kit, I won't mind being your producer, I am a very good beat maker. Ask Pheelz , TY Mix or Sarz, they'll tell you more.
I can make some good beats for your songs.

D9ty7:
Kit, I won't mind being your producer, I am a very good beat maker. Ask Pheelz , TY Mix or Sarz, they'll tell you more.
I can make some good beats for your songs.

Really??

Oya nah,but na tonto.dike voice,i get

Lovely story.I dislike this ivie of a girl.

Am not a writer but let me just share my observation from your story.




You have a good story line which could easily be translated into a great story. However, your story lacks some important ingredients; cohesion, continuity and flow. You need to work on that.




Also, the spacing and general paragraph layout needs to be worked on.




You are writing a romantic suspense, by now you should keep guessing. We don't want to know the whole story before the ending.




Then try as much as possible to be realistic in your writing, this in reference to the rape scene, the bottle incidence and the whole relationship with Dave thing (if she has been hurt before in the past I think it will make her a bit more careful and less trusting in her new relationship).




Then let us get to know your characters a bit more, even though you are writing in 1st person, I feel a bit detached from the character because we don't get to know what she thinks, how she feels and how situations around affect her.

Thank you guys so much for the corrections,i really appreciate and i will definitely work on it

The only problem is that i'm stressing myself to finish up on time,but i wil take my time now,maybe long updates three times a week will do.

I'm not a romance writer,but i will try all my possible best to bring out the best.

As for the details,you guys said am skipping,i will work on it.

I hope to improve with time

cc:loadux

moseph,you're sighted ma

hey kitnah, u re doing very great u knw? One needs to be watchful o. Weldone dearie, i enjoyed d updates.

Hmmmm....makes me remember something buh it is well.

Good job kitnah.
let me know when you drop your single

Kitnah u hv a nice story going on here, it's really interesting, but it's lacking sumthing very important nd dat's *Suspense *, it really matters in a story. it's too straight forward, many of us can already guess d end of dis story, which is nt gud cos it will make us lose interest in it. I'm sorry 4 criticizing u cos i'm nt a writer or anything, i just think i should let u knw. between u hv a nice storyline, just do sumthing about d suspense part nd u are good to go.

Thanks. Nice job.

Mehn, I like those flows 1 Million.
So Dave is a rapper? Cool.
Following.....,

^^^Continuation^^^

"And what are you doing in my bedroom?' Dave asked her angrily

"So,I don't have the right to be in your bedroom?"

"I never said so,so what are you doing here?"

"Well,first up,you've questions to answer,because I've seen something that aroused my curiosity"

"And what's that?"

"What'sup with the ruffled bed that depicts previous sex?? Like you're having sex with someone??"

"Uhm,there is nothing like sex here,the bed was ruffled because I slept on it"

"Eventhough,a fool won't believe that,I'll move to the next question,who is the owner of that gold necklace and hairband? It looks like my friend's own"

"I don't know,it might be from a random girl"

"So,the random girl is now dropping her necklace inyour room,huh?"

"Uhmm,I don't know"

"Really?? I must say you're pretty good with lines,I love those punchlines,so who are you referring to ?? Because I saw something like I love her,I wish this is real"

"My ex of course'

"So you still seeing your ex or something even when we're dating?'

"Oh cmon,those thought were written like months ago"

"You're a blatant liar,take a look at the date,it's recent,do you take me for a fool or what?? Ivie asked with a loud voice

"Hey,calm down,it's nothing"

"To you,it's nothing,but to me,it means a lot,so that means,you're seeing your ex and she slept here last night,huh?"

"Calm down,it's not like that,I can explain"

"Explain what?? You're lying and it's so obvious,when you're ready to tell me the truth,I'll be a call away" Ivie said and walked away
^^^tbc^^^
Adeh39-->thanks,I'll work on that

Jezuzboi-->thank you

Toykathy-->you're sighted ma

Snowangel4-->glad yo could relate to it

so na one update this gel wan update be that bah?if i catch you,even Judge no go help us judge the matter

kitnah, dis kain thing wey u dey do me so good for ur eye? Dis short update no reach my mouth o let alone my tummy. So fingers crossed as i await another full and filled update. Thz in advance

toykathy:
kitnah, dis kain thing wey u dey do me so good for ur eye? Dis short update no reach my mouth o let alone my tummy. So fingers crossed as i await another full and filled update. Thz in advance

Lmao

We no get light ni o,no vex

Prettydiva89,ke du?

kitnah:

Lmao

We no get light ni o,no vex

Prettydiva89,ke du?

lol kitnah oya update sharp sharp

Chai!!!....update ooo,as e dey hot!

I hope deres going 2 b an update, am going to buy fuel 4 ur generator. Oya cum nd update

So sorry guys,i havent updated since.
Someone even sent me a mail,asking if i'm having a block..lol
Updates drop tmr.

Thanks kazreem,it was a typo

kitnah:
So sorry guys,i havent updated since.
Someone even send me a mail,asking if i'm having a block..lol
Updates drop tmr.

And you chose not to reply mine. Okay ooo. Diaris God

*I know it was typo error but need to call your attention to it.
#Someone even SENT

no update? nt nice @kitnah

--Contd--
Dave pedalled faster,his heart soared when he saw a flash of her brown car in the car park.
He knew he has explanation to make,he knew he has to explain thing to Ivie,in a convincing way that will make her heart melts.
It took some hours before he could summoned courage to visit her.
When he got to her doorsteps,his hand stretched out towards the door handle. And he snatched it back.
Eyes closed,he blew out a long deep breath,his hand suddenly dizzy with doubt as the blood surged in his veins.
What was he doing here?? What if she embarrassed and chased him out like a dog?? This is awkward.
Laffy had told him to make peace with her at all cost so as to avoid disappointment on Ivie's part.
And what if she said yes?? More,more lies to keep the 'relationship' going.
He wished she would say no,drove him out,and end this,so that the blame won't be on him,He felt like he was being controlled,He's doing this against his wish to please Laffy.

'God,let this cup pass me by' He muttered to himself.
He's not the religious type,he's the 'sunday medicine' type,the type that goes to church only on sunday,He knew he has a whole lot of confession to make to the priest on sunday.

After ten seconds of agonised waiting,he straightened his back and prepared to knock,and at the very second he did so,there was movement on the other side of the door. The handle turned on its own and cracked open an inch,then wider,braced by a familiar khaki tote.

Ivie was stunned into silence as the door opened and her eyes locked onto his. And he gave her the kind of twinkly-eyed smile guaranteed to make any girl's heart beat a little faster,the type that makes a girl think she's the most stunning creature ever.
Ivie took in the full effect of that handsome face.

Dave grinned straight at her.
'Why is she smiling like everything is fine when it's not' He thought.
"Hi" he smiled "uhm,I think........."
"Are you okay?? You look pale??" Ivie interrupted
There was so much love and concern in her voice that any doubts and fear Dave had had about what he had to do were squelched instantly.
"I'm good,can I come in??" Dave asked trying to ease the tension between them.
"Oh,My bad!! Forgive my manners, please do come in" Ivie said as she shifted from the door,making passage for Dave to come in.
Dave sat on the couch in the sitting room
"Ain't you supposed to be preparing for your journey tomorrow??" Ivie asked and gave him a beaming smile revealing her brilliant white set of teeth.
Dave's world turned over. When Ivie visited in the morning,she was with less makeup,and she was wearing a scarf.

But now,Ivie had undid the scarf,revealing her shoulder length wavy brown hair done in ponytails and she had her makeup on. One thing for sure,Dave had been expecting to meet her in a quirky state,but what she saw instead was a stunningly beautiful woman with a great style that drives him crazy.

Those lips. He thought.
'Hey,you're here for business,control your emotions' his subconscious replied him
Dave could have looked at her all day and not regretted it for a moment,but he was here for business.
He sat beside her and stroked his hand as her eyes locked onto his,and all the words he had practised on the way spilled out in a rush.

"Yeah,but nothing feels real without you,I can't be at peace knowing that you're unhappy with me,I'm so sorry for what happened back then,I don't want to explain because I'm guilty and I only need your forgiveness"
Ivie reached up and stroked his cheek,her eyes never leaving his.
"So you were actually seeing another girl beside me?"
He breathed in,her heart thudding so loudly he suspected that she must hear it from where she was sitting calmly.

"Not like that!! I had an hangover,and I had one night stand with a girl,the moment I realised it,I sent her away,that was the reason you saw the hairband and gold necklace,I didn't give her a chance to dressed up,because I wasn't thinking straight,I'm sorry for hurting you,I love you, Ivie,I want to be with you forever,you've shown me how to love"
Dave's voice was Serious.Sincere.Intense.Adorable, a voice she dare not interrupt.
Ivie sat very still,staring at him with all seriousness.
"A cheat will always be a cheat,Dave"
"Please give me the benefit of doubt,please give me a second chance,I'll never cheat on you again,it took me some hours before I could come out clean,are you still going to say no?? I can go on my knees if you want me to"

Dave breathing seemed to increase,the voice that came from his lips was low,harsh and trembling,filled with regrets and uncertainty.
He makes a move to go on his knee.

"Noooo, don't do that please,I'm not God,don't kneel down for me"Ivie said loudly
"Then what did you want me to do for you to believe me" Dave asked,his voice breaking.
"I don't know,I'm scared,I really don't wanna be a second choice....."
Dave hand came up and gently lifted a coil of her hair behind her ear in a gesture so loving and tender that she closed her eyes to enjoyed the moment.

"You're never a second choice,you're my first,you've taught me how to love,you've pressed buttons that have never been tampered with in my entire life,I love you" Dave said in a very loving way.
The worst fear of most cheats is the aftermath of their confession. Will things go back to normal?? Will they trust them anymore??

If Ivie had been glib of speech,she might quickly have dissipated Dave's anxiety,but she has an unfortunate way of saying few words and allowing long silence between her utterances.
"It's okay,I just want to be sure,you really love me and you'll continue to do so even if you're not beside me,as long as you are somewhere loving me,then I'll be complete" Ivie said as she relieved Dave from his fears.
Dave didn't believe his ears,did she just accepted,??'My charms' are working. He thought.
Oh,why didn't I think of this at first. He said to himself.
"You won't regret giving me a second chance,I love you so much,you're the love of my life" Dave said while he flashed her 'his killer smile'.
Ivie's heart melted,she could see his head and throat were only inches from her face. Her bosom was pressed against the fine fabric of his sky-blue shirt. In a fraction of a second,Ivie was conscious that his hand had taken a firmer grip around her waist,moving over her pink gown as though it was the finest gown ever made,she could sense and feel the heat of his fingertips on her warm skin below.
Dave's fingers wound up into her hair. Drawing her closer,he slanted his head so that his warm,soft lips gently glided over hers,then firmer,hotter.

The sensation blew away any vague idea that he could resist her for a second.
Ivie closed her eyes and kissed Dave,tasting the heat of his mouth,his mouth has this sweet smell of mint and chocolate,Ivie's weakness.That gave her the 'push' she needed to move thing to a deeper and passionate french kiss.

Dave slowly pulled away "we shouldn't be doing this here,let's take it inside"
He said with a wink as his chest responded to his faster heart beat
"Totally cool" Ivie managed to reply him "uhmm,how come we're talking since and you didn't realised I'm wearing your ring"
Dave's eye lightened up as he saw the diamond ring with a spark shinning brightly in her middle finger.
"Oh,I'm speechless. How did you get that??" He asked as he used his left hand to caressed her back.
"I was searching for it in your room that day,before you know..........."
"It's okay,I'm so happy. You won't regret this. You love me that much??"
Ivie smiled "Are you just figuring it out"
"I love you so much....Now don't let us ruin the moment,let's take it inside"
Dave said as he carried Ivie to the bedroom for an exciting round of sex.
--tbc--

Okay... We are watching.