zaragoza:

@ayobase
I totally agree with u. But how can you be diplomatic without being dishonest? Remember a direct question was put to you by your friend's wife, also remember that if your diplomacy is void of sincerity and truth you are not being honest, moreso, your sincerity should be void of deceit and pretence otherwise you are not being sincere cos those are what honesty entails.

People always keep on talking abt diplomacy we have been unable to explain wht diplomacy is and how it comes to play when u r face with such a question. Moreso we really need to understand wht Honesty is,
http://english.siutao.com/rivulets/honesty.php

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy, its' just not debatable. When you fail to tell the truth, you inadvertently tell a lie or at best, suppress the truth.

You can pay now or you WILL pay later.

Honesty is the best policy.In this scenerio,simply tell the woman to ask her hubby.Tell her you don't want to get involved,afterall,three is a crowd.

true

@iice
why not try to look at this from a different angle. There are scenarios where "i cannot say" simply cant be acceptable, situations where you are required to give an answer. For instance situations which requires a "Yes" or "No" answer. Try to make subsequent posts based on the Topic of this thread and not the instance i gave, what i gave is just an instance, there could be more worse or tighter situations whereby "i cannot say" is simply unacceptable. I dont like repeating myself either but wouldn't mind doing so so as to buttress a point or making it clearer.
@Darqly
I dont totally agree with you. In as much as telling the truth is the best but there are situations that calls for expediency.

Yes Honesty is the best for 9ja policy

Honesty and transparency are regularly touted as

cardinal principles but never practiced in Ngeria

***Honesty and transparency are regularly touted as cardinal principles but never practiced in Ngeria ***

I think we can see where the problem stem from - Us - based on our responses we have offered so far.
Well if we want Nigeria to change, we the pple better start such things as honesty otherwise, you know the rest.

Plant honesty - harvest peaceful nation.

Taken:

***Honesty and transparency are regularly touted as cardinal principles but never practiced in Ngeria ***
Plant honesty - harvest peaceful nation.

Omo, if you too yarn truth for Naija, na die O ! Straight

There really is no straight forward answer, generally in terms of life honesty is not always the best route to go, I believe honesty comes together with competency.
You can lie, just don't be caught because then it sucks

It doesn't matter how one tries to twist it,
honesty is always the best policy

Honesty is the Best Policy,, Yes, And,,

There are times you have to do certain things even though they are not right,

That should settle the score,

@iice
Just be sincere in a Yes/No situation would always be honest even when you know the consequences of being honest would amount to a much greater and devastating problem, perhaps might even cos lives to be lost?. I think I'd rather opt for the lesser "evil" by lying or being dishonest. Almost all what you've been saying, though you made some valid points are just for the books. Practically, i dont even think that its always possible for one to be honest always let alone talking of wether its always the best policy.
@Ayobase
U've just repeated what i suggested in my initial post. @Chrisbenogor
I agree with your views, u are just in terms with reality.

I dont lie. i dont feel the need to. I get as much bang by telling the truth like i would a lie. Im not scared of repercussions or facing actions of anything i do. when i do something and im asked "Did you do this or that"? I'll be like yeah! I did. Make you call police.

@Spoilt
"i dont lie" you must be a living saint.

I love this kind of thought-provoking threads. Is honesty ALWAYS the best policy? I have kids and I do tell them all the time that they should tell the truths always. Infact, when they do something wrong and they own up or tell the truth, they don’t get spanked and I go out of my way to let them know they were not punished because they spoke the truth. But I tell you kids’ world is different from real world. To the kids, the color is either white or black. But in the real world, there are shades of gray. I will never be in and tell my kids to say that daddy is out.

To the kids, I will tell them that honesty is the best policy. They don’t know the nuances and complexities of the world. They are too innocent to understand. But to the adults, I will tell you that honesty is NOT[color=#990000][/color] always the best policy. If you tell the truth so save situation or NOT to worsen situation (irreparable damage anyway), I will concur.

A very good situation is the scenario painted above by the author of this thread. I can lie to save the marriage (think about the consequences; the innocent children involved). To me, the important point is the motive behind the lie.

Have you forgotten the ‘No, she is my sister’ saga of our revered Abraham and Isaac his son? Some people will counter that in the case of AB, he did not lie but told half truth. But then, he imlied lied becos he DECEIVED the king into believing that Sarah was NOT his wife. Apostle Peter in which the church was built lied not only once or twice but three good times. He still went ahead to become chief of the apostles.

Will I lie to save my marriage or my friend’s marriage? Yes. Now, let us consider the following: Assuming my best friend’s fiancée is SS or AS and told my friend the fact. Now, let’s assume my friend is SS or AS and lied that he is AA. Will I lie that he is AA if I were asked so that he can get get married to the person he loved? No. Think about the future regrets, the heart breaks and the innocent lives that will suffer. Now assuming the girl is my blood sister and she is in ‘quarter to’, very despereate to get married. Will I lie so that she can fulfill her heart’s desires? Of course not. I simply won’t cover her up.

Assuming there is a religious riots in the North and there is reprisal attacks here in the south. It happens that my neigbour, who is a Muslim from Kano happens to run into my house for protection, and is being hunted down. If I were asked for her whereabouts. You should guess what I will say: “Oloriburuku Olosi ti gba ibi salo”, meaning ‘The stupid and irresponsible man ran away taking this route’ and meanwhile he is safely tucked away in my house. In this case, would I still insist that honesty is ALWAYS the best policy? In this case, I guess it is ok to lie.

Assuming I am in Bauchi and there is once again religious riots I am surrounded my hoodlums wielding petrol, clubs, machete and dagger. If I were asked if I am a Christian or muslim. Of course, I will say I am a muslim. Am I being a coward? No. Am I truthful? Of course not. I am being wise. Joy to the wise. Joy to me. I refuse to be foolish.

what else can i say to this issue of honesty that has not yet been said but if truly we want to conquer in lifethen honesty must be a tool inour daily work

@ *** , have you forgotten the ‘No, she is my sister’ saga of our revered Abraham and Isaac his son? Some people will counter that in the case of AB, he did not lie but told half truth. But then, he imlied lied becos he DECEIVED the king into believing that Sarah was NOT his wife. ***

Yes AB did not tell the entire truth, but you did not finish the story.
Result of Abraham's lies in Genesis - "And God said unto him (the king) in a dream by night, and said him, behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou has Taken; for she is a man's wife. , 7. Now therefore restore the man his wife; , if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine."

@*** Apostle Peter in which the church was built lied not only once or twice but three good times. He still went ahead to become chief of the apostles.***
You better provide the proof.

@*** Assuming I am in Bauchi and there is once again religious riots I am surrounded my hoodlums wielding petrol, clubs, machete and dagger. If I were asked if I am a Christian or muslim. Of course, I will say I am a muslim. Am I being a coward? No. Am I truthful? Of course not. I am being wise. Joy to the wise. Joy to me. I refuse to be foolish ***
No wonder Nigeria is just a religious country in word and not in deeds. We need to take a lessons from most non religious pple. Whether you like it or not, dishonesty is still dishonesty.

By the way, it is not what you taught your children that they responds to, but they are more influenced by subconscious stuff and by other things inside your own very heart.
Until you and I are ready to change, we should altogether forget about Nigeria becoming a better nation.

@Misterman
Thanks for ur well thought out post, you are in tune with reality.
@Taken
U are getting it all wrong. For the fact that abraham told a half-truth at some point simply means that he wasnt honest at that point. Honesty is a very good virtue no doubt but the question is "is it ALWAYS the best policy" Nigerians should all be honest for a better nation but there maybe situations when u would still have to be dishonest for a better nation as well. I think what actually matters is your motives of being dishonest. Even the so called developed nations are not always honest with thier dealings but they are still better off cos they have good motives for thier countries. A clear example is the Iraq war, bush later faulted the CIA intel on iraq, but they've already achieved thier aim of stopping someone they perceive to be a threat to them. Its like u've lost touch with your bible "and on you i shall build my church and the gate of hell shall not prevail against it" i presume this was said to you & not peter.

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY AND YOU WILL BE HATED FOR THIS
BUT WISDOM IS THE PRINCIPAL THING, IN ALL THEIR UNDERSTANDING GET WISDOM

@ zaragoza

cus of AB, What I am saying is that dishonesty almost caused the destruction of another man's life and house.
Dishonesty will never do a nation any good.

@Zaragoza
Im not a saint. Far from it. If im not able to defend or own up to somethin i did, i just dont do it. Its easy as pie really.

@Taken
Even when someone's dishonesty could save a life?
@Spoilt
You are still saying thesame thing but with a little re-arrangement of what you said earlier. No matter how you twist it, only one meaning can be deduced from it i.e you dont lie. You must be a good role model.

@ zaragoza
Please give an instance where dishonesty might save a life.

zaragoza, always remember that in trying to be honesty, you are not mandated to answer every question dat comes ur way.
in such a situation, regarding a best friends expected answer from his friend's wife, you may decide to blatantly refuse answering the question.
Always learn to be diplomatic in being honest.
, if it will cause serious damages, avoid answering it at all; if not, give it in the mildest way you can.

, Enugwu!

zaragoza:

@Spoilt
You are still saying thesame thing but with a little re-arrangement of what you said earlier. No matter how you twist it, only one meaning can be deduced from it i.e you dont lie. You must be a good role model.

@ zaragoza
You heard me right the first time. I dont lie. My not lying has nothing to do with sainthood. I just cant be bothered trying to make up fibs. If i did it,I tell you i did it.Its up to you to deal with my truth. end of discussion.

*** zaragoza, always remember that in trying to be honesty, you are not mandated to answer every question dat comes ur way.
in such a situation, regarding a best friends expected answer from his friend's wife, you may decide to blatantly refuse answering the question. ***

Rightfully said. Just say No, or be bold about refusing to answer any questions that may cause trouble but do not lie.
The root of lies is FEAR of the unknown.