She can't change
Live patientently with her....

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

is this coogar or elampiro?
nice one coogar...

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

What are you saying friend? So what's their frienship-courtship phase for.. Your comment makes sense but its not applicable in this stage of their relationship.. Re-advice him pls, if you can.. Cheers!

Bro I really want to tell you that if you love her and you really want to be happy with her then you need two things. 1: You need God. Through prayers you can stand in the gab for her to be changed by a define intervention. 2: You. Like seriously You! You need to act as a leader, husband, head of the family, a confidants and above all a friend. As a leader you must as a matter of fact define the path you want your family to go and carry her along. As a husband, love, care and provide for her. As the head of the family you have the final say.... no matter whatever input any member of the family have to offer. As a confidant, you need to be close to her and make her so free to discuss any issue with you having at the back of her mind that you will not act as a judge to condem her. And last but not the least, As a friend you need to forget the fact that she is your wife and take her as a pure friend.... I want to belief that you know how friends treat each other on a platonic note.
Having said all the above, I have a piece of coin I will like to lend to you; sit her down when she is in a good mood and ask her the following questions: 1: How do you want our family/marriage to be seen from the eyes of the outsider? 2: What kind of role model do you want us to be to couples that has been married before and after us. 3: What is it that annoys you must about me and what do you suggest I should do to meet you half way. 4: For the period we have lived as husband and wife can you really say you have been a virteous woman. 5: Do you know why some men cheat on there wife and do not even border to come home let alone eating what they cook? Pls share them with each other. 6: Do you want me to be one of those men? Or do you want a broken marriage? Do you think your parent will be happy to see you back to their house? Answers from this discussion will definatly open your eyes more to the kind of a woman you have married. Lastly, don't miss her calls any more as that annoys so many people expecially when you don't return the call or send a message to apologize with a cogent reason because she is part of you and you should treat her as that. Don't allow malice in your home, make sure you settle it before dawn. Settle it with sex if possible and don't see her as someone you can not control because if you do then perhaps you are right. I do wish you all the best in your marriage, Shalom brother!

Guy relax, i once read somewhere that the first 3 years of marriage is usually the hardest, after that it gets better so please be patient.
You guys courted, u knew her habit & attitude before u married her but u choose to go ahead with her. There must be a reason why u made that choice, dont let it change.
Familiarity breeds contempt, now that u live in the same house, her attitude are magnified 10X. It will seem overwhelming but in time u will get used to it.
I am glad u love her & u have been reasonable so far. Dont change please, u are well on the right track.
So many ladies will always act like babies but as they grow in marriage, they understand better the responsibilities of being a wife & keeping a family together.
Dont even think of divorce.. It should never be an option for u.
Whenever she starts her drama or talks to u rudely. Just excuse yourself till she calms down. Then u can talk to her & sort things out.
On the flip side, sum ladies are hot tempered and rude. I recon u must have known that before u married her. U felt u could cope, so that is something u might have to deal with for the rest of ur life if that is her nature.
Unhappy & depressed 2 months into a new marriage.. Man shouldnt this still be the honey moon phase?
Abeg find books on marriage and read up. Talk to a marriage counselor or an older person with a successful marriage that you will not to lead u astray.
I wish u Gudluck man!

¤Off Topic¤
NB: For those of u reading who are not married yet. Never ever get married! i repeat dont ever get married! Its a setup.
Dont let the society pressure u to or the fact that ur friends are all married & u feel left out.
U will end up miserable like a whole lot of people, Love fades away in time.
People change.
U can live a much more happier & fufilled life being single.
U can get laid by different chicks anytime u want without any drama.
I feel sorry for a whole lot of people. Religion & Societal expectations has really lead to people making bad choice in life. Dont be one of those people, choose how u write the script of ur own life.
If after all i have written up their the devil finally suceed in winning u heart & you choose to get Married..
Never Eva Marry a Nigerian Woman!

rattlesnake:
She can't change
Live patientently with her....

He has been with her 5 years before marriage
He should manage her

It reminds me of my marriage in its early days. I used to wonder if my wife enjoyed malice. It's almost 8 years now and she has outgrown it. You may need to apply tough love and tender love. It seems like mine, your wife is in her early 20s and didn't know the struggles of getting a good guy. Exercise some measures of toughness and let herlearn to HONOUR you. I always ask young ladies who wish to be married if they are willing to HONOUR their prospective husbands in ALL things. Many women enter marriage with ill preparation.
In summary, be tough and bring her to order then be tender.

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

PMP

multicast:
yes she has a job she is doing along with her schooling, u get but y did u ask, i would like to know more

She asked bcz she reasons well, the moment I saw the question from moana, something struck me, I think she kinda have much more to say... I call such peeps experienced murrano
Cc: Moana

jengoa:
It reminds me of my marriage in its early days. I used to wonder if my wife enjoyed malice. It's almost 8 years now and she has outgrown it. You may need to apply tough love and tender love. It seems like mine, your wife is in her early 20s and didn't know the struggles of getting a good guy. Exercise some measures of toughness and let herlearn to HONOUR you. I always ask young ladies who wish to be married if they are willing to HONOUR their prospective husbands in ALL things. Many women enter marriage with ill preparation.
In summary, be tough and bring her to order then be tender.

Is this azubuike

I have a girlfriend who's almost like that.. Each time we have issues, she rants, insults and abuse me. finally she deleted me on bbm, blocks me on whatsapp and unfriend me on Facebook.

I'll always be depressed because I love her and would always go back to beg before we could reconnect

I decided to act unusual one day.. She picks up a quarrel as usual, I decided to be ahead of her by deleting her on my bbm, whatsapp and Facebook. she was shocked and called me and I told her I was done with her. she got so scared and pleaded not do those things ever again

U can device a unique means to tackle this... just act unusual, she'll definitely get scared and reassure u of her loyalty and TRUST

Always pray!!!

Moana:
Tell us more about your bbm chats

Y u no ask for the guy address, and go and listen to full gist

This might sound crazy but I think you should join in with her in the trouble making or just swallow all she does and ignore. Most times people think they are the only once that have problem or can express themselves. Wake up on the wrong side of the bed one of these days too. When craze jam craze one must hide face. Show her how imperfect you too can be. Its not everybody that understands that being Cool and calm is not beneficial to you but to them. It might be hard to do, but am positive it will work. Repeating the cycle of sitting her down and talking to her has not worked, speak to her in the language of tantrums and trouble making which she understands. It is only normal to lose your cool once in a while.

multicast:

i grew up in a place where women are HIGHLY REGARDED and WELL-TREATED and maybe its affecting me because I ALSO HELP HER DO CHORES and i dont push all the house work to her as most men do.

I've highlighted the 3 problems that may be the cause bro, the challenge is YOU ARE TOO NICE, you are the man, be firm and strong, women are to be put in their place, you say sorry too easily, before sorry should come out of your mouth, you must be wrong beyond reasonable doubt. You regard her too highly even more than she expects, you treat her too well than she's used to and worst of it, you do chores for her (like seriously?), what time are you giving her to fully step into her role as a wife. I'm not saying its wrong but it should be 1ce in a very blue moon, maybe your anniversary. The best you can do is compliment her when she does the chores. Do opposite of all you are doing and I think you'll be fine, by the time she begins to feel you are seeing someone outside, she'll sit up. She's behaving this way cos she knows she "owns" you in her cage, you've given her practically all of your power as a man. I wish you all the best in your marriage. Involve God too, pray together.

Sorry to say this, but you married someone that is selfish and doesn't know how to communicate. Well carry your cross, and if possible fast and pray. You are husband and wife, make her realize this.

the bible talks of it's better to stay on the roof than in the same house as a nagging woman. your current stage is the one where you guys argue over every little thing. if you endure it would pass and better times would come.

people been complaining about marriage issues since 001 BC... na within a week you see yourselves you get married ni? abi how come you never sabi the person you married behavior...

Moana:
Tell us more about your bbm chats

I love what u asked #op

multicast:
yes there was years of courtship, she might have anger management issues but i am not a psychologist, all i can do is talk to her but how do u talk about same thing every now and then. i hope u understand my point

When discussing add a bit of punishment at the end like let's see if you go on like this ,I'll be forced to..... Make sure that the word or words in that empty space carries so much weight. My 2cents

it is better she wants you to always respond to her calls. if she does not mind anymore and there is an alternative person she begins to talk to, things might go awry if that new person does not have your interest at heart. find a balance @multicast.

multicast:
i appreciate your comments Klark, but i wount sound defensive but to pick whats right from ur comment, i believe i was being too much in love with her which is what i know as the right thing to do. why marry her if i cant love her fully, its different from that she has anger issues.....thanks again brother

My guy, tho am not married sha but I do knw in marriage, men don't love with their heart, we love with our head in it. The earlier u start practicing this, the better for you. No use women joke o, u are even lucky kids haven't started rolling in, else na quiiii u for they hear by now

Interesting!! Same issues I have been having with my girlfriend.. We quarell over very little things and afterwards she keeps malice with me for days, then when we try to get things sorted out, she gets so emotional over it, and starts crying.. I have long lost my affection and passion for her because of this bad habit!! I told a friend that I may not end up marrying her because i simply can't tolerate her temperament and unforgiving heart. Marriage is a union that must b enjoyed and not managed..

Well, things like this are bound to happen with few percentage of women that just get wedded. Though am not yet married but i often try to learn from others especially couples with good homes. Part of the acts i discovered about newly wedded wife is what your wife exhibit. One of my aunts shared the experience of the first few months of her marriage with me sometimes ago. Though, one discussion led to another. She told me she do keep malice and unnecessarily pick up on little things against her husband at the initial stage of their marriage as well. She never knew she was hurting her husband, she just felt like acting that way unnecessary sometimes in order to confirm if d husband still care for her and perhaps get more attention from the act. However, the husband had to open up to her and make her realize the extent at which she hurt him while putting up the acts. He told her what she was doing wouldn't take them far in their marriage. Eventually, she brazed up and patched up things with her husband.

Now, the main point is- psychologically, some ladies do act that way at the initial stage of their marriage in order to get more or "the" attention, care, love and cross check a lot of things about their relationship with their husband in order to ascertain nothing change after the wedding (singles do put up the acts as well). All you just need to do is to sit her down and make her understand that putting up those acts of hers will not take your marriage anywhere and it hurts you more. Also encourage her to always open up her mind to you immediately she notice any displease behaviour from you-promising each other to settle your differences immediately it surface. Studying, praying and meditating on God's word is very important as well (this will influence a lots in her marriage). Though no woman will pray to have a broken home. Continue to be the good man you are, be the man but don't be too tough. SUURU NI WON FI SE OKO OBINRIN OOOO. I pray God will strengthen your home in Jesus name.

She loves you thats why exercise patients all this will be over

musicwriter:


My parents have lived their own lives. They have nothing to do with my marriage life. Moreover, I create and customize things; life style, anything.

My brother u are talking NONSENSES!!! ur type have no business on this thread

You may have to seek psychiatric attention for her she is likely suffering from borderline personality disorder (BPD). Taking medication can make her better.

Moana:
Tell us more about your bbm chats

That's none of your biz

since your wife is the kind that gets wordy at moments of emotion, emotional moments would also be the best time to let your feelings sink it. like ezego1 said above after a nice romp and caressing her hair tell her how you feel and she will hear you

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

coogar:
•forming
•storming
•norming
•performing

you are at the storming stage in your marriage. endure it, persevere it and you would soon get past this phase. at least, she's decent enough to apologise whenever she says things that are bang out of order.

there's light at the end of the tunnel.

....... if i hear

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My brother if all you said here are all you have as problems with your wife then you done have problems.

I wish I can send you my chat with my wife minutes before I saw your post.

Please there is no better woman out there.
I have exactly the same issues in my marriage the difference is that my wife leant to say sorry and realise that she can be wrong after 11yrs.
When she's keeping malice make a mockery of her and joke about it. That will make her feel stupid. Women can make you go crazy but a woman like yours is good.

Give her plenty attention. That's what she's asking for by keeping malice
Do not consider breaking your marriage. Its the worst thing to do. Your wife cares too much about you and she feels insecure.
You are never also ever wise enough before a caring woman. That's another matter.
Learn to ignore her. Learn not to respond to everything she does. Be patient.be open. Be prayerful. Don't expect overnight change.
Add me on facebook we can chat better when im free.iconclem@yahoo.com