I was chatting with a friend and then the conversation veered towards counsel...

below are the excerpts of our chat leaving out her messages. I hope it helps someone make the right decision towards marriage.

The conversation may seem disjointed but I believe you can follow easily.

In marriage, after the first six months of frequent sex, then comes the period when the couple's character comes to bare more...

As a married couple, you spend more time observing, communicating, and meeting each other's character more than making love during marriage... So tell me dear which is more important

You see the most trying times for any marriage is from one year after.... After the wedding, sex is like a priority, almost every now and then... Then with fine it gets less frequent.... At the beginning it can feel like only a super skilled lady/guy in bed is all that matters...

But as the frequency drops, and the daily meet of character becomes the priority, that's when marriage truly starts...

You see after sex, then there's the talking, the doing things together towards building a home, getting chores done, even if there is a help, there are chores that just can't be delegated to helps, it's this time effective and efficient communication start to matter....

At first it may seem not to matter... Especially during first few weeks of marriage, you know when there is a small misunderstanding, it's quickly brushed aside with sex.... But when sex frequency reduces which is a must.... That's when marriage really start....

In a marriage of 30 years you spend like 6 months having sex, then rest times, you are sleeping, going to work, raising kids, balancing church activities.....

That's marriage, not the sex aspect alone...so we ought to look out for these character

One can cope with bad sex every now and then, but how do you cope with bad character every day as you wake and go to sleep

Anyone can be a good hubby/wife, but we need to open eyes for the father/mother qualities or you hubby/wife may end up rAising a theif as a son...

A lot of guys and girls only look out for a good husband/wife when seeking a partner they forget that in a few months that hubby/wife will become a father/mother...

Can a man be a role model to kids.... We often need to ask, this lady am dating can she guide our daughter in the right way as she grows...

If I get to caught up.with work, can she be an efficient mother to our kids or Will she just be a great wife to me.

And let our kids learn and figure out life from friends and the internet?

Will my kids as they grow be able to say my father said thud and that, I will do what my father said....

Or will they say, I don't know what to do, but since you say it's ok, let me do it as you say (notice the absence of a father figure)

In marriage more time is spent raising kids, molding them to be future leaders... It's one thing to pay their fees and cloth them, but if their parents can't teach them the essence of living, the goodness of being honest...

Then they have failed

A child learns to trust a father and mum first and tries to copy and emulate them... So we ought to look and ask, can I allow my 4 year old child emulate him?

A girl is dating a fraudster, she forgets that her son to be will want to emulate and overdo on the dad's achievement....

She doesn't look far ahead, she only pays attention to how strong he his in bed once he drinks orijin, and how she gets to make her hair in ikoyi every week... Then when they get married and she's heavy and can't go clubbing with him, he leaves her at home and goes to celebrate with his friends for another maga that has paid, he meets a nice lady, he sleeps with her without condom cause he was high.... He returns home and two weeks later he's passed std to his wife... She ends up losing the baby from miscarriage caused by advanced std....

Once married he becomes inlaw to your family... That brings a whole new set of responsibility... Do you v think he would be game once vows are exchanged...

I tell friends, look out for emotional strength and stability not sexual libido

Spiritual maturity... Or at least signs of willingness to spiritually grow

How will he/she handle false stories about you that you were seen somewhere.... Etc...

Take for instance for a lady If after marriage ( God forbid) and a child isn't forth coming, then the hubby's family comes to attack her, is she sure he will have her back and not plan to have a child outside....


that's about it.

#Noted

;

hm

Merlissa:
#Noted

ok. I hope it helped.

Well interesting. Waffi boy.

Bigloaf:
Well interesting. Waffi boy.

You are wrong I am not from warri.

Bigloaf:
Well interesting. Waffi boy.

You are wrong I am not from warri.

Okay

OP, thanks for raising these salient points. The craze for sex is quite overwhelming these days which makes your article a must read for all singles. The funny thing is that few realise that sex is over-hyped and not really what we think it is.

Issokey..

Lol...

After reading this post


And u ask d ladies

What do they want in a man




It will still be thesame old answer








Nice, Godfearing and good in bed..

Welrez:
OP, thanks for raising these salient points. The craze for sex is quite overwhelming these days which makes your article a must read for all singles. The funny thing is that few realise that sex is over-hyped and not really what we think it is.

Thank you. A lot of folks forget Companionship is important, the chase to meet the needs of the family can be hectic, can he/she balance it and still create ample time for a relationship with you.

You both are first couples before being parents, the need to balance this is crucial...

Cutehector:
Lol...

After reading this post


And u ask d ladies

What do they want in a man




It will still be thesame old answer








Nice, Godfearing and good in bed..

I hope not, I surely hope this causes them to sit still and think deeper and wider.

u21day:


I hope not, I surely hope this causes them to sit still and think deeper and wider.

dats if they r wise.

Most importantly.. you have to make sure shes actually a female

Venom104:
Most importantly.. you have to make sure shes actually a female

Thats interesting and yet another angle you took.