focus7:
This thread am sure is not for kids, so wait until you are married before you can make an opinion.

I'm not married because I asked the man to learn manners? Or is marriage devoid of manners? Fortunately, my husband has been brought up to say thank you where appropriate.If he doesn't,not an issue to me.However, I'm not ops wife.
Very funny individual.Nairaland people

I hope in all your adulthood you have managed to read the book '5 love languages'.Some people feel loved when they are given words of affirmation.She has expressed what would make her feel loved and appreciated.
If Op likes,let him buy 100 gifts ,if you do not show love to her th way she understands and wants to be loved,her love tank can never be filled up and she can't be truly happy.

Na una saka..outta here.

write2obi:

He is the HEAD of the house. So u don't "instill" saying thank you into him like some child or house boy, if he is not used to saying thank you after eating the food he provided in his own house, i expect a sane woman to understand and move on and not nag.

cheya! Dis is wat causes prblms in homes o. Are u married? Am not, but i come from a stable home whr av learnt marriage is a partnership. Do to others wat u want to be done to u. Y wont he be used to saying tnk u. Its a bad behavior. Even when i send my jnrs errands, i tell them tank u for it. If ure d head, then she is d neck. Can d head sit well without d neck? Dats y its gud to discuss issues with ur spouse. The op ddnt say she nags. Discussing/asking aint nagging biko. She shld keep mum when its hurting her? God help us with people with more heart/feeling

My husband says 'thank you' every time I serve him food, and also when I pack the plates after he's done eating.
Likewise, I say thank you and also pray for him every time he gives the housekeeping or other money, including our children school fees.
These appreciative acts definitely go a looong way in mutual respect and affection for one another.

oloyede252:

you and your slave mentality
maybe he should name their child thank you.
So he can always be calling his wife MOMMY THANK YOU

This is 2015. You don't treat wives as slaves anymore but with courtesy. Remove that ancient thinking from your mind.

babyosisi:


No, my husband doesn't say a hearty thank you after eating,he says it occasionally and I appreciate when he does but I have never and will never demand a thank you from him for cooking or serving his meal.
It's not a big deal .
For your wife to attach so much importance to this,I see bigger issues here
I am also certain she is very demanding in other areas
This almost sounds insane,a woman demanding a thank you for cooking?
There is nothing I won't hear.
In case you are wondering,this is not normal o, have never heard this sort of thing ever in my life up till this moment and I have heard a lot of stories,this your situation is quite rare.
You must be walking on egg shells around the woman
What other rules and regulations has she given you?
If she can be this militant at home, I feel sorry for any subordinates she may have at the workplace

Na wa for all this kain protocol o.
I say thank you to everyone and for everything as I am just too used to it. I even say thank you when you give me my change. I insist my kids say thank you whenever you give them something but sometimes I give them biscuit and overexcitement go catch them they eat it and I just give them an eye and they say thank you .Even that I am trying to chill a bit sef.


But I cant imagine mandating that my husband says it every single time I cook. I am not even physically there when he eats food I cooked sometimes. So if he takes lunch that I cooked to work he has to text or call to say thank you. Anyway diff strokes for diff folks.

OP I must also ask though are you a naturally uncourteous person? As in not just the food issue but do you do find hard to say thank you,please and am sorry on other issues cos I find it hard to believe that someone will nag cos her husband did not say thank you after every meal she cooked.

write2obi:

He is the HEAD of the house. So u don't "instill" saying thank you into him like some child or house boy, if he is not used to saying thank you after eating the food he provided in his own house, i expect a sane woman to understand and move on and not nag.

Lol @ definition of head

lolaredvelvet:
Im surprised at some of these comments. So its now a "favour" for a woman to cook for her husband? I guess its also a "favour" that he paid her bride price, put her in HIS home rent-free, gives her money for food stuffs and other things, makes love to her, contributes to taking care of their kids (if they have any). Well, Mrs Entitled needs to also start thanking him for every big and little thing he does for her too!

She insists on the greeting. Lol. If you dont "greet" her nko? What will she do about it...pack out and go back to her parents house where she'll be greeted well for carrying out the chores?

Feminism, ego and unnecessary entitlement is slowly killing family life

What If she cooked the food with her money or contributed to.the house rent?

@OP: There are types of love languages and What turns me on might not move your wife.

If she wants you to always say Thank you after meals, say it.

It does not make you impotent or does it make you the tail.

braine:
This is 2015. You don't treat wives as slaves anymore but with courtesy. Remove that ancient thinking from your mind.

must you attribute everything to slave thinking mentality

if i cant think ancient how well could i now understand this course ANCIENT CIVILIZATION
as a history student.

damiso:


Na wa for all this kain protocol o.
I say thank you to everyone and for everything as I am just too used to it. I even say thank you when you give me my change. I insist my kids say thank you whenever you give them something but sometimes I give them biscuit and overexcitement go catch them they eat it and I just give them an eye and they say thank you .Even that I am trying to chill a bit sef.


But I cant imagine mandating that my husband says it every single time I cook. I am not even physically there when he eats food I cooked sometimes. So if he takes lunch that I cooked to work he has to text or call to say thank you. Anyway diff strokes for diff folks.

OP I must also ask though are you a naturally uncourteous person? As in not just the food issue but do you do find hard to say thank you,please and am sorry on other issues cos I find it hard to believe that someone will nag cos her husband did not say thank you after every meal she cooked.

Thank you o
I thank everyone including cashiers that ring my products and bus drivers when I get off but I have never heard of this kain thank you demanding person.
If a husband insists and hounds his wife for a generous "thank you" after giving her chop money,his explanation being that he worked very hard for it, I don't think the ladies here will be smiling ,
This is way out there

Dera25:
I have begining to enjoy this thread as I have started seeing matured contributions. That is one thing I like about nairaland it is very educative, have never spent one minute on nairaland without learning many things. I want to also use this opportunity to thank everybody that have make this thread so interesting and educative. Once again thanks and God bless you

Can you be sincere to us,is this the only thing she nags shouts.
What other rules has she given you ?

If you learned to say 'thank you' earlier on to anyone and everyone who's made your life easier in whatever little way, saying 'thank you' to your wife after she cooks for you won't be a big deal.
Which culture are you from that it is not part of?
However, it is not nice that she demands it in a way that makes you uncomfortable.

write2obi:

He is the HEAD of the house. So u don't "instill" saying thank you into him like some child or house boy, if he is not used to saying thank you after eating the food he provided in his own house, i expect a sane woman to understand and move on and not nag.

the head should even be the one teaching courtesy where others lack it.
Who will the kids learn from?

iyaayi:
My husband says 'thank you' every time I serve him food, and also when I pack the plates after he's done eating.
Likewise, I say thank you and also pray for him every time he gives the housekeeping or other money, including our children school fees.
These appreciative acts definitely go a looong way in mutual respect and affection for one another.

Love this , so true.

I say thank you to my husband after a good ikwokirikwo
Are there other people that do this

Ngokafor:





....u dey waste ya time sis...bushmeats no get time for that kind think jare..

my dear, until the wife put small sh1t for him food, the ones here telling him as per head of the house, he shouldn't appreciate, no Barry here go follow chop the sh1t.


Awon boys go dey chop sh1t dey shout...we are the head...the head ....

Chillisauce:


my dear, until the wife put small sh1t for him food, the ones here telling him as per head of the house, he shouldn't appreciate, no Barry here go follow chop the sh1t.


Awon boys go dey chop sh1t dey shout...we are the head...the head ....

...lol...indeed!

Different strokes for diff people sha.
Hubby dey over greet.
Even if it's him that prepared the food.
He will still tell u thank u.
If I pretend not to hear,he will come and shout it to ur face.
I don't complain again.
I'm used to it.
Lesson:people r wired differently.
Before it can irritate me eeh.

So @op, say thank u after each meal.
Why d fuse?
No big deal.

There r things u learn and incorporate as u grow older and things u discard.
All these I didn't grow up with this or that is crap.
Life itself is always changing.

If thank u is the ish, then by all means say thank u.

And say it with style. It will eventually wane off.
Maybe u r the rigid type.

See simple matter and u have taken it to high heaven. Making a mountain out of nothing.

babyosisi:
I say thank you to my husband after a good ikwokirikwo
Are there other people that do this

I do but not always or at that particular moment.

He does too.

I was thought two words in life can build and destroy a nation;they are THANK YOU and SORRY. Just how you explained to us that its not your culture,and so u don't often remembers,explain to her that way and ask her to please remind you each time you forgets or make it a little romantic,a 5mins kiss from you to her every time she reminds you
Women are not as difficult as some men thinks only you men most times would rather hold thight your pride and loose your wives.

braine:
Its actually ungrateful of you not to atleast thank her. You think its easy to cook? I'm sure you're not used to that too. You should thank her for every single thing she does for you, to show a sign of appreciation! Plus, she may be your wife but that doesn't make her your slave.

Just like she should thank him for every single thing he does for her, to show sign of appreciation! He may be her husband but that doesn't make him her ATM.

5minsmadness:

Just like she should thank him for every single thing he does for her, to show sign of appreciation! He may be her husband but that doesn't make him her ATM.

Exactly. Respect is reciprocal.

Dera25:
I have begining to enjoy this thread as I have started seeing matured contributions. That is one thing I like about nairaland it is very educative, have never spent one minute on nairaland without learning many things. I want to also use this opportunity to thank everybody that have make this thread so interesting and educative. Once again thanks and God bless you

Oga, Just out of curiosity

Was she serious about it or jokingly?

moca:

I do but not always or at that particular moment.

He does too.

Nawaoh

njokusboy:


Nawaoh

Mechieeee onu gi dia!

moca:

Mechieeee onu gi dia!

Lol
Owk....

babyosisi:


Can you be sincere to us,is this the only thing she nags shouts.
What other rules has she given you ?

Hahahahaha! Madam I assure u dt she is a vry nice woman and both of us are reading ds comments together so we have learnt a lot in ds thread

Ewuro4:


Oga, Just out of curiosity

Was she serious about it or jokingly?

I can say that it was jokingly, it was only that reminding part of it is what I don't like. Like I said before we have learnt a lot in this thread

Courtesy demands you say "Thank you" after a meal. Is not a matter of tradition or not. Is like rendering
a service or assistance to someone who in turn did not appreciate you for what you did to him. How will
you feel? However, your wife should not see it as a must for you to say "Thank you" after every meal.

Once in a while just echo it to her cos it wont really cos a thing.

urchbarbie:
cheya! Dis is wat causes prblms in homes o. Are u married? Am not, but i come from a stable home whr av learnt marriage is a partnership. Do to others wat u want to be done to u. Y wont he be used to saying tnk u. Its a bad behavior. Even when i send my jnrs errands, i tell them tank u for it. If ure d head, then she is d neck. Can d head sit well without d neck? Dats y its gud to discuss issues with ur spouse. The op ddnt say she nags. Discussing/asking aint nagging biko. She shld keep mum when its hurting her? God help us with people with more heart/feeling

so if you don't say thank you to your juniors, do they instill the manners in you, by forcing you to say thank you?
and to even think of it, your younger ones are not even in anyway liable to errands from you

unlike husband and wife issues where duties are almost mandatory:
say husband should provide for feeding whether or not there is a "thank you"
same way it should be for a woman who stays at home to take care of the family, (a thank you is not mandatory), if it comes be happy.
i am not saying "thank you" is bad
I am saying no one should be forced by any person to say "thank you" for what he/she should do by default.

Dera25:

I can say that it was jokingly it was only that reminding part of it is what I don't like. Like I said before we have learnt a lot in this thread

So you admit she didn't outrightly 'command' you to do this. Well you made posters think so with your initial post hence the insults on your wife. I fear you oga, you fit kill person. Don't be like that, it's malicious and conniving.

Reminding you? She's your wife and she can ask you anything whenever she's not happy with any situation , that is communication , it reduces tension in marriage.
You don't have to bring everything to social media to feel superior.

Btw me & you oga, pleases & thank yous are the first mandatory manners we teach kids growing up so what part of the world are you from? My husband says thank you to me everytime I serve him his meals, wash his clothes etc. every little gestures count in marriage. Train yourself so you will have a rest of mind.

Start saying thank you and remember, a happy wife =happy home.

How else can you communicate with one's spouse without being construed as rude or commanding?

Please Tearoses & other wise women help me out here ?

5minsmadness:

Just like she should thank him for every single thing he does for her, to show sign of appreciation! He may be her husband but that doesn't make him her ATM.

exactly.

There can't be an overdose of 'thank you'.
Thanks for everything and nothing. For just being you and being there even when you make me mad, 'thank you'.

And the marriage will keep thriving.
It shouldn't be a big deal.