Westendel:


Jane dear,am good.couldn't sleep well. Am more confused now than b4, these two people have vehemently refused to say the truth. He said he only lusted after her but never slept with her.my sister said d same thing,while there watsapp chats is saying a different thing.

who and what should I believe?

Westendel:

I would have uploaded their watsapp chats here but because I don't want expose his identity, I would rather tell us the content here.
my sister: why don't you wanna send me the 10,000naira?
my husband: I asked you to come over u refused
my sister: I want us to stop this sex of a thing. I feel bad doing dis with you,knowing well that you are my brother in law
my husband: is better I do it with you,than doing it with an asider.what's wrong if you have a child for your sister?
let me stop here don't want to any further. people, what do you make of this conversation?

It is obvious they have been sleeping with each other. It is easier to try to convince yourself otherwise, but the hard truth is that they have been doing it for a while.

You will be be foolish to have anything further to do with that m0ron.

deadie:




It is obvious they have been sleeping with each other. It is easier to try to convince yourself otherwise, but the hard truth is that they have been doing it for a while.

You will be be foolish to have anything further to do with that m0ron.

How dare you mention divorce
Mrsmith and others said she needs to buy red pant and bra and be a loving wife
Looks like the husband is the problem in the childlessness
At least that much is clear
If he is chopping two sisters back to back and who knows who else and can't get either one pregnant ,do we need a soothsayer to tell us that he is obviously shooting blanks.

olu4life:

I totally get the drift. Yes, we know our society give men more room to cheat and be forgiven than the other way round.

About that particular thread, felt like responding but didnt. And I stated earlier, our level of forgiving differs, wwhat A accepts, B might condemn if in the same shoe.
I also advised the OP to move on if the husband is yet to apologise and be remorseful. NOTHING CAN BE DONE IF THE HUSBAND REFUSES TO ADMIT HIS FAULT. Thats why I assked some questions earlier to the OP.

Hope its now clear on where I stand on this issue?

Lastly, speaking from the man's angle, dont forget the pressure he might be getting about child ish. BUT DOESNT MEAN HE SHOULD GIVE IN TO THE PRESSURE.
Note my words in capital letter.

They are both under pressure my dear, infact, in our society, the woman is under much more pressure even when the problem is not from her.

..

Op your garagara too much.
A good advice was given to you by babyosisi.
As body dey hot you,you went ahead to call for family meeting.

So you expect them to admit the crime

Just faster than your shawdow.


Goodluck

You are very stupid...damn too stupid and outrightly naive for not confronting these poisonous co-occupants of your household with the leverage individually before involving the families.
Do you honestly believe they will acknowledge and accept your accusations?

You've lost your upper hand, now beta start telling the family members that weren't around during the meeting, the friends etc to salvage a little respect...because you no longer have a marriage. Your husband that didn't think twice before fuccccking your sister won't hesitate to rub further mud on you with counter accusations, label him black any chance you get,blame him for the lack of issue in the marriage after all he has been fuckiiing your sister without any tangible results etc. Only stop when they acknowledge and show remorse.

Would've lend you my Sig Sayer .p226 to blow their heads off but that will be a criminal act.

Who is this Mrsmith and these other annoying people chanting keep your home, save your marriage? , forgive your husband? So you mean you're so righteous and holy that in less than 24 hours after you found out your husband is sleeping with your sister, you'd forgive abi?

When I read that message to be honest it brought tears to my eyes. What is 5 years there are couples that have waited longer and the man didn't sleep with his wife's sister. Ahn Ahn!!!!! Even if he wanted the sister to have kids on behalf of his wife with medicine today it can be done without him sleeping with the girl na, besides the girl is just 19, what about her future, does she not want to get married and have kids too? The truth of the matter is whether they denied it or accepted it or whatever, they had sex! it is obvious from the messages. The question is what are you going to do about it? This is the worst form of betrayal ever!!!!!!!!!!!! A part of me wants you to back your bags and leave and a small voice in my heads says you should sit down and just be looking? Don't say anything to either of them again. Treat your husband the way you normally treat him and same with your sister. I understand he is looking for a child but thats not the way to go about it abeg not with your own sister and to be honest even if you had kids, he would still sleep with her, he is just using that as an excuse. Plus its not as if its your fault its God that gives children. But for God's sake DO NOT APOLOGIZE. But know that you do not have a sister again and you may or may not have a husband depending on how he is taking this that is if he is apologetic or not. Another thing I would say is from my experience with men they will try to turn it around and piss you off to make you do or say something that people will blame you for no matter what he does or says do not react. I'm so sorry you are going through this

But to be honest with you o Madam the advice I gave you is the ideal o! I no go fit stay that house if na me o! If dem fit do that kain thing behind my back dem fit kill me. If na me I for don waka!!! When my husband comes back to his senses he knows where to find me! Because if i stay i fit kill person

Kimoni:


They are both under pressure my dear, infact, in our society, the woman is under much more pressure even when the problem is not from her.

The woman is not under much more pressure as you mentioned.

In actual sense, the man is.

A woman is married off to another man who uses her to sustain his lineage.

A man sustains his lineage. Thus he is scared of extinction.

mrssho:
But to be honest with you o Madam the advice I gave you is the ideal o! I no go fit stay that house if na me o! If dem fit do that kain thing behind my back dem fit kill me. If na me I for don waka!!! When my husband comes back to his senses he knows where to find me! Because if i stay i fit kill person

That's what you believe and that's what you console yourself with.

Meanwhile, always know that the Nkechi next door can give to your husband in tens of folds what you couldn't give him.

Westendel:
my people we just finish the meeting.A lot has happened, a lot has been said, I don't know whom to believe again. Even with the evidence is now there words against mine.

what a world!!!!

Sweetie please ignore these people that are saying you didn't listen to advice, honestly you are in the best position to advice yourself.......(If na me one of the options I would have considered is to burn the house down while the 2 of them are still in it). I am also TTC and my husband has told me before that if I am doubting his capability he would prove to me that he can father a child (this is a man who has low sperm count and high mortility rate, he later apologised but one does not forget a statement like that). My point is you feel helpless, if you can wave a magic wand and a child would appear you would. But the truth is does it justify his actions? the answer is no because marriage is for better for worse. If it was him that had issues, and you slept with his brother would he like it

Anyway my question to you is WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO NOW? WHAT IS YOUR HUSBAND SAYING NOW? WHAT IS YOUR SISTER SAYING NOW? WHAT DID YOUR FOLKS SAY ABOUT ALL OF THIS?

kaboninc:


That's what you believe and that's what you console yourself with.

Meanwhile, always know that the Nkechi next door can give to your husband in tens of folds what you couldn't give him.

Its a free world o let him go to Nkechi next door..........abeg I cannot sacrifice my sanity for anyone, we all have our thresholds Trust is very very very important to me because if he cant stick by me at my lowest point then whats the point of marriage and the vows we took. Some people can stay in that situation and be happy or find some form of happiness and some people can't. We are all different human beings. Thats my point of view

Westendel:


Jane dear,am good.couldn't sleep well. Am more confused now than b4, these two people have vehemently refused to say the truth. He said he only lusted after her but never slept with her.my sister said d same thing,while there watsapp chats is saying a different thing.

who and what should I believe?

U need to stay away from these two for a while to clear ur head and to gather ur strenght. I wasn't expecting them to own up. I don't even know what to say cos it's shocking to me too. It is well.

kaboninc:


The woman is not under much more pressure as you mentioned.

In actual sense, the man is.

A woman is married off to another man who uses her to sustain his lineage.

A man sustains his lineage. Thus he is scared of extinction.

Where do you crawl out from? Many women that didn't begat children are forgotten so also aremen...so it goes both ways. Except you are from mars, women bears the pangs of childlessness more than men in the society.

VintageCocktail:
Where do you crawl out from? Many women that didn't begat children are forgotten so also aremen...so it goes both ways. Except you are from mars, women bears the pangs of childlessness more than men in the society.

From your mother's pu**y. You must have some unscrewed nuts in your head to refer to me like that.

A woman's pain is in not having to experience child birth or birth her own child.

This is a man's world. His pride comes before his wife and that's why a king can come to know a slave or slut or mistress just to ensure his ancestry survives.

When next you're responding, please don't talk as a child!

kaboninc:


From your mother's pu**y. You must have some unscrewed nuts in your head to refer to me like that.

A woman's pain is in not having to experience child birth or birth her own child.

This is a man's world. His pride comes before his wife and that's why a king can come to know a slave or slut or mistress just to ensure his ancestry survives.

When next you're responding, please don't talk as a child!

Sadly you are right but I always tell my husband (when we have issues and i think his ego is in the way) to know when to put it aside and face whats on ground

mrssho:


Its a free world o let him go to Nkechi next door..........abeg I cannot sacrifice my sanity for anyone, we all have our thresholds Trust is very very very important to me because if he cant stick by me at my lowest point then whats the point of marriage and the vows we took. Some people can stay in that situation and be happy or find some form of happiness and some people can't. We are all different human beings. Thats my point of view

Like I said earlier, it's how you are. And I totally agree with it.

Not everybody is the same. Then you'd need someone who has a higher threshold than you just in case you do something abominable.

kaboninc:


From your mother's pu**y. You must have some unscrewed nuts in your head to refer to me like that.

A woman's pain is in not having to experience child birth or birth her own child.

This is a man's world. His pride comes before his wife and that's why a king can come to know a slave or slut or mistress just to ensure his ancestry survives.

When next you're responding, please don't talk as a child!

For referring to my mother like that!!!!
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. You are a canker, a sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen conferring with you.
You are putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. Your life is a monumental to stupidity. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. You are a stench, a revulsion., a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into the world. An insensible blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they have done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.



I am just warming up.....don't mess with joblessness.

mrssho:



Sadly you are right but I always tell my husband (when we have issues and i think his ego is in the way) to know when to put it aside and face whats on ground

That's the best you could do. Make him understand that for that particular issue, his ego may make matters worse and he being reasonable, make come to reason with you.

I tell you, to get a man, massage his ego! Massage his pride and you'll see how he'll make you the emperor of the universe.

Unfortunately, our bride is our own undoing!

It is indeed a man's world and will always be a man's world!

@babyosisi, I didn't ask my sis for her own version of d thruth,because .1. my sister is not living with me,second I can't bear sitting with her and discuss did issue for I now hate her.so I had to ask mum to do DAT for me.
Mum asked and threating her DAT she will swear with juju if she didn't say d truth.and she said she is ready to swear with any idol to prove her innocence.
This morning, Mum and Dad together with my sister left Umuahia my home town to PH where I reside for d meeting.

To those of you saying I called for a meeting, a wife does not have any right to call for a meeting in dis grievous issue,DAT is why my dad has to call and invite my in laws for a family meeting in my house.

When my sis was asked if she did it ,dis morning ,she said and I Quote,may I die bfor my 22nd birthday if indeed I slept with Aunty's husband.

Right now I have decided to go on a temporarily separation after which I will decide to divorce or continue with d marriage.

Hubby have been sending people to beg.
none of the two families agreed on divorce. one of them even quoted a Bible reference thatJacob married Two sisters and that d 12 tribe s of Is real came out of Racheal and Leah's loins. is very pathetic and terrible the way our people reason.

VintageCocktail:

I am just warming up.....don't mess with joblessness.

Am so sure you were given a millennium-length ban by the moderators. So you opened another account to vent your sentence.

If given the opportunity, I will not hesitate, even for one nano second to shoot your pap infested brain and make a feast for the vultures!

Your mates are not relenting on trying to be productive but you, lazier than a snail and a tortoise combined is here whining like an excited f..ol.

You must be very damp!

kaboninc:


Am so sure you were given a millennium-length ban by the moderators. So you opened another account to vent your sentence.

If given the opportunity, I will not hesitate, even for one nano second to shoot your pap infested brain and make a feast for the vultures!

Your mates are not relenting on trying to be productive but you, lazier than a snail and a tortoise combined is here whining like an excited f..ol.

You must be very damp!

Create a separate thread for the mudslinging ....I have got loads of slime to heap on you monster, an ogre, and malformation. I barf at the thought of you. You have the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus , the dregs of the earth. And did I mentioned you smell?

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary materials before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to the readers, but they will be able the access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit.

Sorry about happenings, your sister swore by the Christian God that is merciful ....that can forgive when she crawls back repentant.


Go for a holiday to get your wits and acts together.

Wish you the best.

@kaboninc, park well oooooo

Westendel:
@babyosisi, I didn't ask my sis for her own version of d thruth,because .1. my sister is not living with me,second I can't bear sitting with her and discuss did issue for I now hate her.so I had to ask mum to do DAT for me.
Mum asked and threating her DAT she will swear with juju if she didn't say d truth.and she said she is ready to swear with any idol to prove her innocence.
This morning, Mum and Dad together with my sister left Umuahia my home town to PH where I reside for d meeting.

To those of you saying I called for a meeting, a wife does not have any right to call for a meeting in dis grievous issue,DAT is why my dad has to call and invite my in laws for a family meeting in my house.

When my sis was asked if she did it ,dis morning ,she said and I Quote,may I die bfor my 22nd birthday if indeed I slept with Aunty's husband.

Right now I have decided to go on a temporarily separation after which I will decide to divorce or continue with d marriage.

Hubby have been sending people to beg.
none of the two families agreed on divorce. one of them even quoted a Bible reference thatJacob married Two sisters and that d 12 tribe s of Is real came out of Racheal and Leah's loins. is very pathetic and terrible the way our people reason.

I've been reading from the sidelines, refraining from commenting. But this comment of yours forced me to.

Your 19 year old sister knows about denials. Depending on how formed her values are, she may or may not subscribe to sleeping with your husband. Moreso, what you have is a mere chat that can be denied vehemently. Still, it depends on how you present your case to both your sister and husband.

Please, do not make your sister swear to any 'juju' just to prove her innocence because she'll actually do it. You may insist or have some form of assurance that should she deny it after taking the oath, something will befall her. However, when the storm settles and the sea becomes peaceful and the oath takes it effect on her, you'll live in regret it all the days of your life.

Many women have caught their husbands even in situations more dire than yours but did not pull down heaven nor throw water into hell. Those who did, who are surviving will tell you not to tow their path. Collect yourself together and be calm. Am certain that they will someday admit to your accusations, should it be actually true. It may be now but they will. So when in the meeting, just collect yourself so you'd be able to ask logical and reasonable questions.

It is obvious that your husband needs a child. My dear, you also do too. I don't know how you two communicate but this infidelity is just a result of a brewing unattended issue. You could have been the person who wants to experiment on if you can conceive or not. I also noticed that you've come to seek some form of acceptance for your actions here in Nairaland...I know you're angry but present your case in such a way that sounds objective so that emotions do not get in the way. Then again, your family can't just wade into the matter like that if not for your own emotional outburst. Remember that you live with your husband (and any husband you choose to be with) and not your father or mother with your husband.

Should in case your hubby admits (or even if he didn't) and he begs you to come back, just have it in mind that it is always a man's world and always be reasonable with your demands. Then go for complete STD tests for both yourself and husband.

God be with you.

kaboninc you must really love the fact that it's a man's world, stop already we have heard.

smokescreen4:
kaboninc you must really love the fact that it's a man's world, stop already we have heard.

Well, am sounding it to people like you so you should know where our weakness lies.

And one who is wise, will do the needful.

smokescreen4:
kaboninc you must really love the fact that it's a man's world, stop already we have heard.

I was actually reading his post till i got to that point.

Some people really do not know when to be reasonable.

Phema:


I was actually reading his post till i got to that point.

Some people really do not know when to be reasonable.

Those who know when to be reasonable, end up make stup.id and foo.lish mistakes.

Just terrible!

@kaboninc I don't know if you're a Christian but know onething when we leave here we Will be judged according to our deeds, I don't think men will be pardoned or excused cause you guys have joysticks, so when you decide to act like gods in this YOUR WORLD remember we will all give account of our deeds oneday.

Phema:

I was actually reading his post till i got to that point.
Some people really do not know when to be reasonable.

I tell ya.

Westendel:
@babyosisi, I didn't ask my sis for her own version of d thruth,because .1. my sister is not living with me,second I can't bear sitting with her and discuss did issue for I now hate her.so I had to ask mum to do DAT for me.
Mum asked and threating her DAT she will swear with juju if she didn't say d truth.and she said she is ready to swear with any idol to prove her innocence.
This morning, Mum and Dad together with my sister left Umuahia my home town to PH where I reside for d meeting.

To those of you saying I called for a meeting, a wife does not have any right to call for a meeting in dis grievous issue,DAT is why my dad has to call and invite my in laws for a family meeting in my house.

When my sis was asked if she did it ,dis morning ,she said and I Quote,may I die bfor my 22nd birthday if indeed I slept with Aunty's husband.

Right now I have decided to go on a temporarily separation after which I will decide to divorce or continue with d marriage.

Hubby have been sending people to beg.
none of the two families agreed on divorce. one of them even quoted a Bible reference thatJacob married Two sisters and that d 12 tribe s of Is real came out of Racheal and Leah's loins. is very pathetic and terrible the way our people reason.

Westendel:


I would have uploaded their watsapp chats here but because I don't want expose his identity, I would rather tell us the content here.

my sister: why don't you wanna send me the 10,000naira?

my husband: I asked you to come over u refused

my sister: I want us to [size=14pt]stop[/size] this sex of a thing. I feel bad doing dis with you,knowing well that you are my brother in law

my husband: is better I do it with you,than doing it with an asider.what's wrong if you have a child for your sister?


let me stop here don't want to any further. people, what do you make of this conversation?

Seriously, I don't know what you people are asking your sister. You have the damned evidence, or do you all have problems of comprehension?