Kimoni:


Na so o

I was shocked when I saw Oshobaba advising people to stop messing around
And nearly fainted when he said he married a virgin
For im mind now, he is very smart
Chop orisirisi, clean mouth, come marry virgin
Hahahhahahahhahahaha

The wildest of them forming alpha males are usually the most gullible but they never realize it

ApexTitan:


Madam you are under the impression that the same rules apply to men and women alike. When it comes to inter-gender relations different rules apply to the different genders. This is something that many modern day people refuse to come to terms with.

A man with a past, let's say a vast history of previous sexual encounters is not castigated on account of that fact (like a woman), he is not looked down upon even by his prospective wife because of this. Once he has demonstrated his provisioning ability to a woman he is romantically involved with she still remains attracted to him even if she is aware of any past that he has. Take a look in the society around you and see if this isn't true.

The woman on the other hand is best served if she comes clean at the beginning of the relationship with regards to her past. Many a man will rethink his decision to enter into a monogamous relationship with a woman after learning of her "adventurous past" (whereas women tend not to). If her past is hidden then later brought to light he feels he has been defrauded.

Advocating that women play the game the same way as men when they themselves are aware of the different rules that apply to them is a mistaken approach.

dinachi:
Three women stand out here defending the indefensible. Telling other women to keep secrets from their husbands! Babyosisi, Cococandy,Sophyrocks. Nairalanders you can now see the kind of female relationship experts these women are! It is very clear they are either not married or they are married to strangers . Two people keeping secrets from each other are not deep in love but deep in self deception. Both are wearing masks. Both do not trust each other enough to be themselves around the one they claim to love! That is why we have so many married singles! People in a martial relationship yet they are very LONELY. And ofcourse this kind of advice encourages unmarried women to see marriage as a game where you try to outsmart the other.

babygirlfl:


Exactly. That's the reason I said that when they remember honesty and quote the bible, they are talking to the woman only. Is it not the same nairaland men here saying women should be honest that said married men can cheat on their wife discreetly because according to them what a woman does not know will not kill her. As a Nigerian woman, you have to be very wise and do what you want to do without thinking of what people will say.

Sophyrocks:


Sincerely, if to say the nigerian society is not so judgemental and hypocritical as it is, absolute openess would not be a prblem at all. The slut shaming rampant nowadays ehn.... damn too much! Go to instagram and see how peeps embarrass themselves with slut shaming. Once you arm someone with dirty secrets, just have it at the back of your mind that they are now public knowledge. Once things go sour between you two, your story will be all over the place. Just imagine girls opening their mouths so fast even when they are nt asked WA WA WA like parrots then the dude will just be staring at you like WTF then start plotting his 'chop and clean mouth' move after which he will disappear into the thin air!! Then they start to wonder why the dude broke up with them. No wonder! This our brain should be used as a sieve. No be everything person dey talk o. Only talk when its neccessary abeg.

bukatyne:


We all quote the Bible when it suits us

Is it not the same NL wives are told not to search .their husbands ' phones So they not see What will hurt them?

Thought they said What you don't know doesn't kill you?

It is all good

I think each person should run their relationship or marriage as they deem fit.

You know your partner and What they can or cannot bear.

BlackOnassis:


You make a lot of sense.

babyosisi:


That is why I love threads like these
It exposes the nigerian man and his thinking

bukatyne:


We quote the Bible when it suits us

Is it not the same NL wives are told not to search .their husbands ' phones So they not see What will hurt them?

Thought they said What you don't know doesn't kill you?

It is all good

I think each person should run their relationship or marriage as they deem fit.

You know your partner and What they can or cannot bear.

bukatyne:


Strange you think men and women have different rules in relationship yet you are wondering Why women should not spill all.

You cannot eat your cake and have it

cococandy:
They don't even want you to know the one they are doing in the present and if you did,they would want you to be ok with it yet they want to know even the ones you did in the past.

Marriage is openness and honestly indeed.

babyosisi:
Raumdeuter,I see you
What is your opinion here

ApexTitan:


This is not a matter of what I think. This is something that I have seen repeated over and over again. Any disspassionate observer will arrive at the same conclusions as I have. These different rules for the genders have been in play for almost as long as civilisation itself. The exceptions to the rule do not negate this fact.

A man with a large number of previous sexual encounters is not seen in the same light as a woman with a similar history. The man is not castigated like the woman, if anything he is celebrated and the woman is condemned.

Cue the Hugh Hefners of this world.

You would be hard pressed to find any female equivalent of Hefner or King Solomon. The rules are indeed different for women.

ApexTitan:


Cue the Hugh Hefners of this world.

You would be hard pressed to find any female equivalent of Hefner or King Solomon. The rules are indeed different for women.

BABE3:


that's the selfish part. Not allowing your partner have a say in wanting you or not. Na by force ? This is akin to forcing someone to marry the IDEA of you.

like I said, the goal to get/stay married is greater than having meaningful relationships in most homes.

Gaborone:
I beg to differ...I don't agree with Number 3.

You cheat on your spouse, you tell them, otherwise, every other day in the marriage would be a lie. If confessing sounds like a difficult thing to do, then stay away from the crime.

It's one of those things that doesnt just go away, and confessing it to God alone isn't enough; you have to confess it to the other party who you swore to be faithful to.

^^^^
This is the message we should preach, not deceit through silence.

babyosisi:


That is just my opinion
Try finding a woman who cheated and confessed and the marriage still continued
Men can get away with confessions of cheating,not women
If you were lucky not to be caught,repent and move on

babyosisi:

The original post has over 65 likes in case you didn't notice

babyosisi:

And they are certainly not all females and not my handles either

babyosisi:

Just because people are not typing doesn't mean they are not reading and comprehending and concurring
And just because some chose to disagree doesn't mean they won't do what I suggested if faced with the situation

babyosisi:

Your babe could be amongst them sef

ApexTitan:


This is not a matter of what I think. This is something that I have seen repeated over and over again. Any disspassionate observer will arrive at the same conclusions as I have. These different rules for the genders have been in play for almost as long as civilisation itself. The exceptions to the rule do not negate this fact.

A man with a large number of previous sexual encounters is not seen in the same light as a woman with a similar history. The man is not castigated like the woman, if anything he is celebrated and the woman is condemned.

Cue the Hugh Hefners of this world.

You would be hard pressed to find any female equivalent of Hefner or King Solomon. The rules are indeed different for women.

bukatyne:


If the rules are different, you will not see a lot of women fessing up...

Don't you get it?

Even the men who the society is more liberal to might not tell his wife all his escapades.

Gaborone:


And part of repentance is sometimes restitution, which in this case would involve opening up to your spouse.

You don't steal your neighbour's phone and ask God for forgiveness while holding on to it. You return it, and then, you and God can talk. Anything else won't fly.

njokusboy:
Why not allow a man decide if he loves you for who you really are, faults and all...
Why allow him marry who he thinks you are??

This is such a massive fraud. ..

TooNoisy:
While 1 and 2 make sense, 3 and 4 are ridiculous. So it's ok for a woman to cheat as long as she is not caught. What kind of morals are we teaching our children? And it is ok to be a runs girls as long as you can find a mugu man somewhere who cannot trace your past? Smh. What useless advice.

TooNoisy:
While 1 and 2 make sense, 3 and 4 are ridiculous. So it's ok for a woman to cheat as long as she is not caught. What kind of morals are we teaching our children? And it is ok to be a runs girls as long as you can find a mugu man somewhere who cannot trace your past? Smh. What useless advice.

bukatyne:


I think our society is very hypocritical and sometimes, we do not relate issues here with the real world.

I honestly don't think I would want to hear How my husband strangled people to death.or If he has slept with 50 women and probably 30 without condoms or How many prostitutes gave him a Mouth Action.

Simple I was once a cultist or I was once sexually loose will do for me. Imagining 30mouths had been There before mine or the hands caressing me has strangled people is enough to permanently kill the desire in me abeg.

If it something life threatening or can affect the future then your spouse needs to know in details maybe not too gory.

BABE3:


coz marraige is a do or die affair for women.