naijababe:
OP, choose your battles. You don't have to call her aunty, some people give nicknames so as not call their spouse's siblings that are younger aunty.

Let me even help you small, orente, idi-ileke, Ayiluko, omo daddy etc

My mom calls one of my distant aunt Orente ( she's very short and robust ).

My long lost uncle married an isale eko/ ijebu woman , she's soo fine , polished & LEARNED and calls me "olo mi" I have butterflies when she says that, ori mi ma n wu everytime and I accord same respect to her big time ( she's over 20 years older than me ) I'm her iya oko anytime.

hahn:


Apparently, you've never had the experience. When you remain civil and polite and you're taken advantage of then you can come and comment on this topic

What Topic ? I think she already stated her input on the topic. you take life too seriously. chill abeg.

Bottom Line : People should learn to Respect other Ethnic group culture doctrines. The fact that 'for the life of you' can't grasp the logic/reason behind that practice doesn't give you the audacity to rubish it. Period.

There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them names.

teekay213:
omo na olden dayz things o,this is 2015.how many wives dey call their sil ''aunty" again.

what will you loose by calling "aunty"

Ewuro4:


What Topic ? I think she already stated her input on the topic. you take life too seriously. chill abeg.

samtol4:
what will you loose by calling "aunty"

she said her pride when i asked her same question...that her younger bro and sil rap together like age mate whenever he come to see her.and asked me if i can call my younger bil or his age mate "bro".i just had to rest my case.she says she's not calling her "aunty" no matter what.

Ewuro4:
Bottom Line : People should learn to Respect other Ethnic group culture doctrines. The fact that 'for the life of you' can't grasp the logic/reason behind that practice doesn't give you the audacity to rubish it. Period.

There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them names.

AUNTY Jidegirl kulu temper

Ewuro4:
Bottom Line : People should learn to Respect other Ethnic group culture doctrines. The fact that 'for the life of you' can't grasp the logic/reason behind that practice doesn't give you the audacity to rubish it. Period.

There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them names.

Bullsh1t!! There should be a clause or an exception to your statement. It was some people's culture to kill twins, It was some people's culture to bury people alive with a dead King, it was some people culture to enslave people, it was some people's culture to marry off under-aged children. Shouldn't such culture be rubbished??

The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

Ewuro4:


My mom calls one of my distant aunt Orente ( she's very short and robust ).

My long lost uncle married an isale eko/ ijebu woman , she's soo fine , polished & LEARNED and calls me "olo mi" I have butterflies when she says that, ori mi ma n wu everytime and I accord same respect to her big time ( she's over 20 years older than me ) I'm her iya oko anytime.

Well, I'mma call you ayiluko

SAMBARRY:
AUNTY Jidegirl kulu temper

No I wont cool temper.

naijababe:

Well, I'mma call you ayiluko

itumo??

I just don't respond to any adulation biko.mon she iya oko bournvita oh.

Shollypopzz:


Bullsh1t!! There should be a clause or an exception to your statement. It was some people's culture to kill twins, It was some people's culture to bury people alive with a dead King, it was some people culture to enslave people, it was some people's culture to marry off under-aged children. Shouldn't such culture be rubbished??

The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

GBAm GBamer Gbamest

teekay213:
she said her pride when i asked her same question...that her younger bro and sil rap together like age mate whenever he come to see her.and asked me if i can call my younger bil or his age mate "bro".i just had to rest my case.she says she's not calling her "aunty" no matter what.

n

I agree, I would not be able to do it either . I would die a little bit inside everytime I had to say it. And the girl lives with them so she would have to call her anty all the time, maybe if it was someone I only had to see once in a while I could manage it

@bold
I thought that was pretty obvious.
But then you never know...


It's such things that give people liver to come into your own house and slap you.

Shollypopzz:



The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

teekay213:
I heard this from a friend and want to know your opinion Most yorubas in the house will understand what am saying when you call your brother-in law “brother so so” or sister-in-law “sister so so” as a sign of respect even when you are much older than them.
My husband and i have been married for some years now and he has one sister that happens to be his only sibbling from his parent.she came to stay with us after she finished her school in ghana. when we were living together i notice that she behaves somehow whenever i speak to her using “o”(that’s the inferior singular)unlike “e”(superior singular you use when speaking to an elder or respected person).later my mother-in-law came to spend some weeks with us and right in my present she was ranting that she will not take it if i can’t call her “aunty” while she walked away and to my greatest shock my mil supported her,saying she’s my little mother in law(iya oko)but i told her my youngest brother is not her mate which am 10years older than,i didn’t say it in a rude or disrespectful way,since then my mil has been behaving somehow not picking my calls.i told my husband about it but didn’t take it seriously.
My question now is,who do you support?and to the ladies in the house will you call your brother or sister-in-law bro or aunty even when you are older than them?

You see why I could never marry into the Yoruba culture
Over their dead body will I call a girl 10 years my junior aunty
Never ever !!! and I will make that clear from the very beginning
If I were this wife I will make sure that little girl leaves my house to go live elsewhere
What nonsense?
Someone that should be washing my pants and bra,mopping my kitchen and asking me what she should while putting ma at the end of every sentence
Where is the respect of elders I hear them talk about?
Abi married woman is not included in it
That part of the culture has it totally twisted
This is insane IMHO

cococandy:
You guys are kidding right?
You mean if I married a Yoruba man I'll call his 15yr old baby sister aunty?

As in really?
Will I also call the 10yr old baby brother uncle too?

I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.

Culture is nice and lovely when it is.

But when it is plain degrading, it is time to do away with it. My humble opinion

Doesn't it sound strange to you
I hope non yoruba girls are reading this thing before they enter one chance
That's why when I hear them talk about respecting elders I just dey laugh
A lot of hypocrisy in the whole thing
Me call a Girl i senior with 10 years and above aunty because her brother pitied me to marry me or what
I dey craze?

Hei

Ibiakwa. Ichoro igbu mmadu on this thread?

Anyway not hating on any tribe but it's cool to call nonsense when you see it.
Like that Troy guy was on my neck because I mentioned something I don't like about Igbo culture.

People should learn to not take such things personal. And of course move on from outdated things.

Babymama1:

Doesn't it sound strange
That's why when I hear them talk about respecting elders I just dey laugh
A lot of hypocrisy in the whole thing
Me call a Girl i senior with 10 years and above aunty because her brother pitied me to marry me or what
I dey craze?

Can they send these aunties on errands?
Just asking
You will send aunty to cook and sweep the floor too?
Can you scold aunty when she misbehaves?

cococandy:
Hei

Ibiakwa. Ichoro igbu mmadu on this thread?

Anyway not hating on any tribe but it's cool to call nonsense when you see it.
Like that Troy guy was on my neck because I mentioned something I don't like about Igbo culture.

People should learn to not take such things personal. And of course move on from outdated things.

Not hating at all just calling BS by its true name which is BS
And to think that people are saying just go ahead and say it

Macmilla:

Arrant nonsense. Do you even know the meaning of aunt/auntie? If she is your SISTER-in-law, then what happened to "sister"?

What happened to her name
Doesn't she have a name,must she have a title?

teekay213:
she said her pride when i asked her same question...that her younger bro and sil rap together like age mate whenever he come to see her.and asked me if i can call my younger bil or his age mate "bro".i just had to rest my case.she says she's not calling her "aunty" no matter what.

I support her totally
That is pure abuse of a wife
If this is her stand she needs to stick to it from day one
Call the girl by her baptismal name and if she refuses to answer,she has the right to send her back to her mother's house


In the Igbo culture it is expected that a new wife will wake up and sweep the house and compound etc
Well I didn't
There were kids in that compound and I expected them to do the sweeping and they did
The younger serve the older never the other way around
You set your precedent and it will go that way from day one

Babymama1:


You see why I could never marry into the Yoruba culture

This is insane IMHO

Don't be a bigot............you're exposing yourself.

Just the same way you stood your ground to an Igbo in-law, you can also do the same to a Yoruba in-law.

Shollypopzz:


Don't be a bigot............you're exposing yourself.

Just the same way you stood your ground to an Igbo in-law, is the same way you can stand your ground to a Yoruba in-law.

I frankly don't care what label you choose sweetie
Takes no hair off my arms
Just being frank here
I just say it like e dey me for thorax
Have you read the number of people telling her to just go ahead with it?
It's not making any sense whatsoever to me

Babymama1:


I frankly don't care what label you choose
Takes no hair off my arms
Just being frank here
Have you read the number of people telling her to how just go ahead with it
It's not making sense to me

I can bet that if a wife opens a thread and complained about her Ibo in-laws asking her to sweep the house and compound, a lot of Ibos here would tell her to do it because it is their tradition.

Except you have a way of proving that Yorubas adhere to tradition more than Ibos do.

Shollypopzz:


I can bet that if a wife opens a thread and complained about her Ibo in-laws asking her to sweep the house and compound, a lot of Ibos here would tell her to do it because it is their tradition.

Except you have a way of proving that Yorubas adhere to tradition more than Ibos do.

Remember I said expected
Nobody asked me to sweep
Read me well
And if anyone were in the same situation I would say the same exact thing I say
From day one you decide how you want to be treated and set your standards
And if you are the youngest there by all means sweep that compound and sweep it well


A girl 10 years your junior insisting you call her aunty is absurd and people agreeing with this makes it even more absurd
Whatever culture it may be

@Op. I wont tell you to call your SIL aunty cos i dont call mine aunty. I call them by the names their parents gave them. shikena.

This part of yoruba culture makes absolutely no sense to me.

Babymama1:


Remember I said expected
Nobody asked me to sweep
Read me well
And if anyone were in the same situation I would say the same exact thing I say
From day one you decide how you want to be treated and set your standards
And if you are the youngest there by all means sweep that compound and sweep it well


A girl 10 years your junior insisting you call her aunty is absurd and people agreeing with this makes it even more absurd
Whatever culture it may be

Actually, you are the one that needs to "read me well". I never contradicted your stance on the issue; I support your opinion that that particular tradition is absurd and oppressive.

My problem with your post is when you gave the excuse that situation like this is why you cannot marry into a Yoruba culture. That makes no sense because you later posted a tradition among the Ibos that was equally absurd. If that tradition didn't stop you from marrying into the Ibo culture, why should a similar tradition in the Yoruba culture stop you from marrying a Yoruba man?

Moreover, a lot of Yoruba posters have stated that that particular tradition is archaic.

Shollypopzz:


Bullsh1t!! There should be a clause or an exception to your statement. It was some people's culture to kill twins, It was some people's culture to bury people alive with a dead King, it was some people culture to enslave people, it was some people's culture to marry off under-aged children. Shouldn't such culture be rubbished??

The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

True Tea.

How are you these days?

Bikonu is this wife also expected to kneel or bow and greet this aunty?

Shollypopzz:


Actually, you are the one that needs to "read me well". I never contradicted your stance on the issue; I support your opinion that that particular tradition is absurd and oppressive.

My problem with your post is when you gave the excuse that situation like this is why you cannot marry into a Yoruba culture. That makes no sense because you later posted a tradition among the Ibos that was equally absurd. If that tradition didn't stop you from marrying into the Ibo culture, why should a similar tradition in the Yoruba culture stop you from marrying a Yoruba man?

Moreover, a lot of Yoruba posters have stated that that particular tradition is archaic.

Let the thread move on
Respond to the thread and ignore me totally unless of course you can answer my question above
I have made my points

ladygogo:


True Tea.

How are you these days?

I am good, thanks. Just hustling hard so I don't end up like Sagam1te.

Threads like these are very educational
You learn aspects of people you never knew
Now an Igbo girl marrying a Yoruba man knows what she may be up against
I bet you there are many who are reading this here for the first time in their life

It was on a forum like this that I heard yorubas say that in Yoruba culture,when a woman gets impregnated by a married man and bears a child for him,she automatically ascends to the status of a wife.
I said eh,repeat that
And other yorubas collaborated that statement
That was an eye opener
And the day I said that ihe di iche di kwa

Babymama1:
Threads like these are very educational
You learn aspects of people you never knew
Now an Igbo girl marrying a Yoruba man knows what she may be up against
I bet you there are many who are reading this here for the first time in their life

Osisi has seen market ooo