Stillfire:


Women were and are the foot soldiers of the patriarchal system that allowed all of these to occur.

umuadas are the enforcement agency. emphasis on enforcement!

seriously, you should give up now.

coogar:


umuadas are the enforcement agency. emphasis on enforcement!

seriously, you should give up now.

Exactly enforcement, not the one who makes up the law.
For example Umuada were the Police- A police force is a constituted body of persons empowered by the state to enforce the law.
Now who makes the Law? The legislative arm comprised of MEN. Patriarchy is to blameeeeeeeeeeeeeee 100%.

Stillfire:


Exactly enforcement, not the one who makes up the law.
For example Umuada were the Police- A police force is a constituted body of persons empowered by the state to enforce the law.
Now who makes the Law? The legislative arm comprised of MEN. Patriarchy is to blameeeeeeeeeeeeeee 100%.

you woulda been right if the article didn't also state the umuadas determine the severity of the mourning process. so they are not only the executioner, they are the judge & the jury as well.

i laughed out loud when i read the part where they take vengeance if the widow wasn't in good rapport with them when the hubby was still alive.......in some cases, the umuadas actually beat up the widow.

the police only make arrests, they do not decide the severity of the punishment so your analogy doesn't quite fit. women are responsible for women's woes. men have little to do with it.

coogar:


you woulda been right if the article didn't also state the umuadas determine the severity of the mourning process. so they are not only the executioner, they are the judge & the jury as well.

i laughed out loud when i read the part where they take vengeance if the widow wasn't in good rapport with them when the hubby was still alive.......in some cases, the umuadas actually beat up the widow.

the police only make arrests, they do not decide the severity of the punishment so your analogy doesn't quite fit. women are responsible for women's woes. men have little to do with it.

Deciding the severity of the crime is appropriately under the jurisdiction of the judicial arm of governance, not the legislative arm.
The question now is who is more likely to make the law in a patriarchal system in Igbo land circa 1500? Is it men or women? lol
100% MEN!!!!!!!!!!

Stillfire:


Deciding the severity of the crime is appropriately under the jurisdiction of the judicial arm of governance, not the legislative arm.
The question now is who is more likely to make the law in a patriarchal system in Igbo land circa 1500? Is it men or women? lol
100% MEN!!!!!!!!!!

the women made it:
the umuadas were very powerful - something you had reiterated time & time again: issues concerning womanhood were left for them to handle.

•adultery
•marriage rites
•motherhood
•widowhood

men had no say in any of the 4 events above. women decided the way they wanted to live until the missionary came to scrap the whole tradition.

coogar:


the women made it:
the umuadas were very powerful - something you had reiterated time & time again: issues concerning womanhood were left for them to handle.

•adultery
•marriage rites
•motherhood
•widowhood

men had no say in any of the 4 events above. women decided the way they wanted to live until the missionary came to scrap the whole tradition.

This even works perfectly for my agenda because I believe women should determine their own fate just as their foremothers. Now, when we talk about our feminine issues on marriage etc here on NL, I hope you men butt out of such discussions. We are taking back being the decider of our fates as our foremothers did! Whatever we decide we would let you know in the general town meeting. And any angst towards our decisions would be met with boycotts.

Stillfire:


This even works perfectly for my agenda because I believe women should determine their own fate just as their foremothers. Now, when we talk about our feminine issues on marriage etc here on NL, I hope you men butt out of such discussions. We are taking back being the decider of our fates as our foremothers did! Whatever we decide we would let you know in the general town meeting. And any angst towards our decisions would be met with boycotts.

one of the reasons that power was taken away from them in the first place was because the women largely abused it.

beating up widows, making them do unspeakable things, levying sub-taxes on the bride price, etc. the system was barbaric. the white men had to send the foremothers back to the kitchen.

coogar:


one of the reasons that power was taken away from them in the first place was because the women largely abused it.

beating up widows, making them do unspeakable things, levying sub-taxes on the bride price, etc. the system was barbaric. the white men had to send the foremothers back to the kitchen.

Lol, they didn't abuse it abeg. The white men were coming from a place where women did not have as much power as in Igboland. We proudly participated in the politics of the land.
Initially, they even thought it was Igbo men that was causing the riots and destroying their colonial institutions, but later found out it was Igbo women acting on their own bidding.
My dad always reminisces and says Awka women were strong and no man wanted to get into their bad book!
Our forefathers were attracted to strong women, not all these sissies we have on NL today seeking for fragile oyibo femininity. The African woman is a symbol of regal strength.

Stillfire:


Lol, they didn't abuse it abeg. The white men were coming from a place where women did not have as much power as in Igboland. We proudly participated in the politics of the land.
Initially, they even thought it was Igbo men that was causing the riots and destroying their colonial institutions, but later found out it was Igbo women acting on their own bidding.
My dad always reminisces and says Awka women were strong and no man wanted to get into their bad book!
Our forefathers were attracted to strong women, not all these sissies we have on NL today seeking for fragile oyibo femininity. The African woman is a symbol of regal strength.

so beating up widows out of malice is not an abuse?

teekay213:
I heard this from a friend and want to know your opinion Most yorubas in the house will understand what am saying when you call your brother-in law “brother so so” or sister-in-law “sister so so” as a sign of respect even when you are much older than them.
My husband and i have been married for some years now and he has one sister that happens to be his only sibbling from his parent.she came to stay with us after she finished her school in ghana. when we were living together i notice that she behaves somehow whenever i speak to her using “o”(that’s the inferior singular)unlike “e”(superior singular you use when speaking to an elder or respected person).later my mother-in-law came to spend some weeks with us and right in my present she was ranting that she will not take it if i can’t call her “aunty” while she walked away and to my greatest shock my mil supported her,saying she’s my little mother in law(iya oko)but i told her my youngest brother is not her mate which am 10years older than,i didn’t say it in a rude or disrespectful way,since then my mil has been behaving somehow not picking my calls.i told my husband about it but didn’t take it seriously.
My question now is,who do you support?and to the ladies in the house will you call your brother or sister-in-law bro or aunty even when you are older than them?

calling her aunty na small thing jor.... Though for my side we show little interest in such mundane things... Lol funny story though

crackhaus:
It's always women making a big deal out of things like this...

Exactly. A neighbour of mine back then before they moved out then wanted to slap me because I called her by her name without adding 'aunty'. People have tried shouting at my younger ones for calling my name without 'uncle' of which I told 'em to let my younger ones be, they were surprised I enjoy being called by my name. Honestly, it sounds weird. I wasn't brought up like that.

Feraz:
Exactly. A neighbour of mine back then before they moved out then wanted to slap me because I called her by her name without adding 'aunty'. People have tried shouting at my younger ones for calling my name without 'uncle' of which I told 'em to let my younger ones be, they were surprised I enjoy being called by my name. Honestly, it sounds weird. I wasn't brought up like that.

As long as they don't try to force it on people, there won't be any problems.

Na wa o, its nt dat easy but I wil advice her to call her aunty if dat will make peace to reign, its her home, she shld try nd make it a happy one.

raumdeuter:
Lol. SOme people dont know there are bigger battles in life than small ego trips

A small story.

========================================================================
One of my uncles told us a story
2 friends John and Fred got a job in a bank in the 90's after they had worked in many other organisations

It now happened that one of their junior in school was the Head of their department. Like they was in final yr when the girl was in year 2 one of his coursemates babes those yrs

Later she insisted everyone in the dept call her "Ma". Both guys were so shocked and insisted they wont call her Ma

So she staged a drama at the bank

She started calling from her office

John!!

John answered YES.

Fred!!!!

His friend answered YES

Later she told them to wait now started calling other people in the dept

Ade!!! , Ade answered: Yes MA!!, Obi!!! Obi Answered Yes MA!! Steven!! Steven answered Yes MA

She now told both friends to go back out and she recalled them. John just answered even though reluctantly YES MA. Fred his friend refused and insisted on YES

They started a mini silent war. She wrote him up for insubordination gave bad appraisals and finally got Fred fired

over a yr later she was transferred out of the country.

And John today is a top shot at the bank while Fred after his sack only got a teaching job and struggled

Now think about it who lost on the long run

Yorubas usually say something about calling Malu(a cow) brother to allow us pass or call a mad man the groom so he would give us peace

You made very valid points.
But I think Yorubas are against calling Malu(cow) brother just because they want to eat meat.
Everything must be balanced.

You lay down the law in your house not your mother in-law or sister in-law. If your mother in-law wants you to call her daughter, "Aunty," and you dont want to, then dont. Dont be a doormat.

For others who are telling her to call her sister in-law, "Aunty" if the same MIL says she should call her grandsons, "uncle," would you tell her to abide by that?

op don't listen to all this young ladies that don't know what marriage is all about to be dictating for you, they will gladly call every female in their husband's lineage aunty in their own home and be advising you otherwise. if you like build your own home or let it crash its your own home.

Geosystem:
op don't listen to all this young ladies that don't know what marriage is all about to be dictating for you, they will gladly call every female in their husband's lineage aunty in their own home and be advising you otherwise. if you like build your own home or let it crash its your own home.

I think a simple sister so and so ((her name))is ok...they just want to to try u to see how far they can go in the future...

And please no entry into your pot anyhow . Always dish out, but no clearing of plate for her ooo

**** By d way does she help Witt Witt house chores, or na d cross-legged type.. good luck..

olu4life:

Yoruba culture clearly spelt it out for women that are married in the family.

Abeg OP e be like say u like trouble too. Its a Yoruba "thing", though not all families really cares about the brother/sister ish but all families expects the wives to respect the brother-inlaws and sister-inlaws. The way each family expresses theirs is different. Lemme tell u a small story.

My cousin got married to a lawyer. Though we didnt like her cos of her bossy attitude. She calls all the junior inlaws by name without anyone battling an eye. But she overdid it (details is much so lets skip that), then the MIL called a family meeting on her and warned her from that day not to call anyone by name again since she took advantage of the situation. Then she started calling us brother and sister but when elderly ones are not there, she will call us by our names, no brotehr or aunty. We just simply ignored it and moved on, never reported her. Not like its important to us so far she didnt pass her boundary.

Now the moral is that do it to stop a little disagreement turn to a huge fight.U dont have to call her aunty, find a nickname for her like "sisimi", trust me she will like it. Ignore those saying you shouldnt do it. A Yoruba woman/man wont advise you to do that cos they know the intensity of the issue. Good day

As a woman have something going on in your lives... supposimg that your Uncle's wife no get her own 'thing' running for her, and she did such a thing i know she would have been packaged back to jer father's compound... am sure say na she dey run that home financially dats y its somewhat hard for the family to do the needful... i trust the typical yoruba family, dem no dey slow to show "pepper" in such things.

There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them names.

She was even ranting about not being called "aunty". Ranting for someone over 10years older. The fact that she thinks she deserves to be called "aunty" is the annoying part. The fact that the MIL supported her disrespectful attitude is a big problem.

Aunty kee her there.

You make the decision to call your sister in-law Aunty or sister not another person. It is not a matter of picking your battles, it is a matter of you making your own decisions in life instead of being at the beck and bend of others. To call your sister in-law, who is younger than you, "Aunty" is a no-no. She is not your mate age-wise.