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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" (20267 Views)
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Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by coogar: 10:30pm On Jun 11, 2015 |
Stillfire: umuadas are the enforcement agency. emphasis on enforcement! seriously, you should give up now. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Stillfire: 10:37pm On Jun 11, 2015 |
coogar: Exactly enforcement, not the one who makes up the law. For example Umuada were the Police- A police force is a constituted body of persons empowered by the state to enforce the law. Now who makes the Law? The legislative arm comprised of MEN. Patriarchy is to blameeeeeeeeeeeeeee 100%. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by coogar: 10:41pm On Jun 11, 2015 |
Stillfire: you woulda been right if the article didn't also state the umuadas determine the severity of the mourning process. so they are not only the executioner, they are the judge & the jury as well. i laughed out loud when i read the part where they take vengeance if the widow wasn't in good rapport with them when the hubby was still alive.......in some cases, the umuadas actually beat up the widow. the police only make arrests, they do not decide the severity of the punishment so your analogy doesn't quite fit. women are responsible for women's woes. men have little to do with it. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Stillfire: 10:50pm On Jun 11, 2015 |
coogar: Deciding the severity of the crime is appropriately under the jurisdiction of the judicial arm of governance, not the legislative arm. The question now is who is more likely to make the law in a patriarchal system in Igbo land circa 1500? Is it men or women? lol 100% MEN!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by coogar: 10:52pm On Jun 11, 2015 |
Stillfire: the women made it: the umuadas were very powerful - something you had reiterated time & time again: issues concerning womanhood were left for them to handle. •adultery •marriage rites •motherhood •widowhood men had no say in any of the 4 events above. women decided the way they wanted to live until the missionary came to scrap the whole tradition. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Stillfire: 2:10pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
coogar: This even works perfectly for my agenda because I believe women should determine their own fate just as their foremothers. Now, when we talk about our feminine issues on marriage etc here on NL, I hope you men butt out of such discussions. We are taking back being the decider of our fates as our foremothers did! Whatever we decide we would let you know in the general town meeting. And any angst towards our decisions would be met with boycotts. 2 Likes |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by coogar: 2:19pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
Stillfire: one of the reasons that power was taken away from them in the first place was because the women largely abused it. beating up widows, making them do unspeakable things, levying sub-taxes on the bride price, etc. the system was barbaric. the white men had to send the foremothers back to the kitchen. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Stillfire: 2:32pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
coogar: Lol, they didn't abuse it abeg. The white men were coming from a place where women did not have as much power as in Igboland. We proudly participated in the politics of the land. Initially, they even thought it was Igbo men that was causing the riots and destroying their colonial institutions, but later found out it was Igbo women acting on their own bidding. My dad always reminisces and says Awka women were strong and no man wanted to get into their bad book! Our forefathers were attracted to strong women, not all these sissies we have on NL today seeking for fragile oyibo femininity. The African woman is a symbol of regal strength. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by coogar: 2:56pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
Stillfire: so beating up widows out of malice is not an abuse? |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by opedaydydx9(m): 7:29pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
teekay213:calling her aunty na small thing jor.... Though for my side we show little interest in such mundane things... Lol funny story though 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Feraz(m): 11:28pm On Jun 12, 2015 |
crackhaus:Exactly. A neighbour of mine back then before they moved out then wanted to slap me because I called her by her name without adding 'aunty'. People have tried shouting at my younger ones for calling my name without 'uncle' of which I told 'em to let my younger ones be, they were surprised I enjoy being called by my name. Honestly, it sounds weird. I wasn't brought up like that. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by crackhaus: 12:42pm On Jun 13, 2015 |
Feraz:As long as they don't try to force it on people, there won't be any problems. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Ashraf123(f): 8:48am On Jun 24, 2015 |
Na wa o, its nt dat easy but I wil advice her to call her aunty if dat will make peace to reign, its her home, she shld try nd make it a happy one. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by neocortex: 10:26am On Jul 26, 2015 |
raumdeuter: You made very valid points. But I think Yorubas are against calling Malu(cow) brother just because they want to eat meat. Everything must be balanced. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Ndipe(m): 11:57pm On Oct 11, 2017 |
You lay down the law in your house not your mother in-law or sister in-law. If your mother in-law wants you to call her daughter, "Aunty," and you dont want to, then dont. Dont be a doormat. For others who are telling her to call her sister in-law, "Aunty" if the same MIL says she should call her grandsons, "uncle," would you tell her to abide by that? |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Geosystem(m): 10:25pm On Oct 13, 2017 |
op don't listen to all this young ladies that don't know what marriage is all about to be dictating for you, they will gladly call every female in their husband's lineage aunty in their own home and be advising you otherwise. if you like build your own home or let it crash its your own home. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by maakie(f): 12:38pm On Oct 15, 2017 |
Geosystem: I think a simple sister so and so ((her name))is ok...they just want to to try u to see how far they can go in the future... And please no entry into your pot anyhow . Always dish out, but no clearing of plate for her ooo **** By d way does she help Witt Witt house chores, or na d cross-legged type.. good luck.. 1 Like |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by LebenNG: 8:28am On Jul 13, 2021 |
olu4life:As a woman have something going on in your lives... supposimg that your Uncle's wife no get her own 'thing' running for her, and she did such a thing i know she would have been packaged back to jer father's compound... am sure say na she dey run that home financially dats y its somewhat hard for the family to do the needful... i trust the typical yoruba family, dem no dey slow to show "pepper" in such things. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by enyen(m): 9:56am On Jul 13, 2021 |
There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand
too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them
names. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by ImaIma1(f): 1:39pm On Jul 13, 2021 |
She was even ranting about not being called "aunty". Ranting for someone over 10years older. The fact that she thinks she deserves to be called "aunty" is the annoying part. The fact that the MIL supported her disrespectful attitude is a big problem. Aunty kee her there. |
Re: My Mother-in-law Hates Because I Refuse To Call My Sister-in-law "Aunty" by Ndipe(m): 2:50am On Dec 30, 2021 |
You make the decision to call your sister in-law Aunty or sister not another person. It is not a matter of picking your battles, it is a matter of you making your own decisions in life instead of being at the beck and bend of others. To call your sister in-law, who is younger than you, "Aunty" is a no-no. She is not your mate age-wise. |
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