Kimoni:





Osisi has seen market ooo

Afia how much
Nna mehn
Ka m si ebe a puo,ha awu o uwa ha na chi ha acid

Babymama1:


Afia how much
Nna mehn
Ka m si ebe a puo,ha awu o uwa ha na chi ha acid

Open another thread naa, e don tey

Babymama1:


What happened to her name
Doesn't she have a name,must she have a title?

My dear, I no know oo. Every little brat looking for who to intimidate.

Macmilla:

You are wise joor. It's a partnership, not slavery. And if it's a partnership, the more sensible thing to do is to give my wife all the respect due for me. My mother will know better than to bring up such bullshit. She is my wife, not the family house help.

Thanks. With men like you, there is hope for Nigeria.

babygirlfl:


Thanks. With men like you, there is hope for Nigeria.

It's annoying when a family sees a wife as a nonentity they can always clean their dirty hands on. My sister-in-law calls me by my name even when I'm older than her by 4yrs. But I know she loves and respects me completely, some times, even more than the husband (the respect part only o ). If I want her to wake by 2am to prepare me food, I can do it and she will not complain, but I dare not try it, cos it's the rest of my family that will kick my asss even when she is not complaining cos she is our wife, not our househelp. That's how we love her. Yet she doesn't call us brother or uncle or auntie. We love it that way.

Macmilla:

It's annoying when a family sees a wife as a nonentity they can always clean their dirty hands on. My sister-in-law calls me by my name even when I'm older than her by 4yrs. But I know she loves and respects me completely, some times, even more than the husband (the respect part only o ). If I want her to wake by 2am to prepare me food, I can do it and she will not complain, but I dare not try it, cos it's the rest of my family that will kick my asss even when she is not complaining cos she is our wife, not our househelp. That's how we love her. Yet she doesn't call us brother or uncle or auntie. We love it that way.

You have a lovely family that operates the way a family should operate. It's easy to know the type of family people grew up from. There are many dysfunctional families who brought up children that treat women and wives in a horrible way. It gives me joy every time I come across families like yours.

Shollypopzz:


Bullsh1t!! There should be a clause or an exception to your statement. It was some people's culture to kill twins, It was some people's culture to bury people alive with a dead King, it was some people culture to enslave people, it was some people's culture to marry off under-aged children. Shouldn't such culture be rubbished??

The whole idea that a wife should call a younger SIL auntie stems from the ideology that the wife is a property that has been sold to her husband's family. They have ownership and she is to submit to their will, even those of the kids. The culture is very condescending to women and as women, we don't have to condone it; we can change it. One should not condone ignorance because it is one's culture.

Culture changes. As long as humans create and define their culture, it will always change because humans change. Nothing is stagnant, so we shouldn't expect culture to be permanent.



@op: I blame your husband 100%. What husband would keep quiet while his younger sister is telling his wife to call her auntie?? Instead of facing your SIL, face your husband. If your husband agrees with his family, there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, his younger sister has the guts to tell you to call her auntie because he allows it.

Dayumm! Sholly smashed a rotten egg on her face.

Thanks for sharing babygirfl

Why na

Ewuro4:


No I wont cool temper.



itumo??

I just don't respond to any adulation biko.mon she iya oko bournvita oh.

Babymama1:


I support her totally
That is pure abuse of a wife
If this is her stand she needs to stick to it from day one
Call the girl by her baptismal name and if she refuses to answer,she has the right to send her back to her mother's house


In the Igbo culture it is expected that a new wife will wake up and sweep the house and compound
Well I didn't
There were kids in that compound and I expected them to do the sweeping and they did
The younger serve the older never the other way around
You set your precedent and it will go that way from day one

@ bolded, Wisdom is the principal thing. As a personal rule I dont start what i can't sustain. Not every family takes all these things seriously. There are more important things to worry about
Besides every culture has some practices that may not be too relevant these days

Vyolet:
Lol,this is the smallest issue one can deal with,it is culture and to avoid unnecessary arguments,just call her whatever she likes and move on with your life.
That you use 'e' for her doesn't mean you can't send her errands or ask her to do house chores. The way you carry yourself will determine how much she will respect you.

Ehen

Interesting thread

Reminds me of my cousins, their wives and the brouhaha this name calling caused.

A wife (sister S) to one of my cousins ( Their parents dont seem to take this kind of topic serious) usually calls her husband siblings by name except the hubby's elder brother. Now her hubby should be around 7 years older than her, He has an elder brother and 2 younger siblings

She calls the siblings by their first name even though the direct younger sibling to the hubby(a female)is about four years older than her, there are other cousins in the family that are in the same age range of the female sibling and for whatever reason she started calling one of them (sister Y) by her first name (that side of the family takes this matter very serious).

Now every member of the family knows that the other side of the family doesn't care about all this stuff and even their wives know, so the wives takes advantage of it by showing attitude, i mean common courtesy they lack and I m not exaggerating.

There was a function and sister A called sister Y by her name I guess publicly. Sister Y reminded her publicly that firstly both of them are not mates, secondly she is also married and her husband has siblings she doesnt call them by name that just because sister A calls her husband direct siblings by name doesn't mean she can call her too

It was a funny scenario which could have been avoided if sister A had studied that part of the family well.

I am not really an advocate of calling aunty or no aunty. I seem to be neutral about it but if its going to save you some stress pls call aunty especially when the person in question is older than the wife.

Babymama1:


You see why I could never marry into the Yoruba culture
Over their dead body will I call a girl 10 years my junior aunty
Never ever !!! and I will make that clear from the very beginning
If I were this wife I will make sure that little girl leaves my house to go live elsewhere
What nonsense?
Someone that should be washing my pants and bra,mopping my kitchen and asking me what she should while putting ma at the end of every sentence
Where is the respect of elders I hear them talk about?
Abi married woman is not included in it
That part of the culture has it totally twisted
This is insane IMHO

Hmm me I don't understand oo. In my family and extended family we do not have such a rule. It's strictly by age , you respect your elders, be they sis in law, brother, sister, anything. Maybe it is in certain Yoruba tribes that they have this rule

Hummmm, please for u to av a peaceful home n for ur marriage to work u can use words like Iya oko mi for her n Mummy wa for your mother In law
Wishing you all the best o
Plenty Lessons in marriage O
God bless

yetseyi:
Interesting thread

Reminds me of my cousins, their wives and the brouhaha this name calling caused.

A wife (sister S) to one of my cousins ( Their parents dont seem to take this kind of topic serious) usually calls her husband siblings by name except the hubby's elder brother. Now her hubby should be around 7 years older than her, He has an elder brother and 2 younger siblings

She calls the siblings by their first name even though the direct younger sibling to the hubby(a female)is about four years older than her, there are other cousins in the family that are in the same age range of the female sibling and for whatever reason she started calling one of them (sister Y) by her first name (that side of the family takes this matter very serious).

Now every member of the family knows that the other side of the family doesn't care about all this stuff and even their wives know, so the wives takes advantage of it by showing attitude, i mean common courtesy they lack and I m not exaggerating.

There was a function and sister A called sister Y by her name I guess publicly. Sister Y reminded her publicly that firstly both of them are not mates, secondly she is also married and her husband has siblings she doesnt call them by name that just because sister A calls her husband direct siblings by name doesn't mean she can call her too

It was a funny scenario which could have been avoided if sister A had studied that part of the family well.

I am not really an advocate of calling aunty or no aunty. I seem to be neutral about it but if its going to save you some stress pls call aunty especially when the person in question is older than the wife.

A wife should have the common sense to address her in-laws older than her by 'Aunty Y'/'Uncle Y' or 'Mummy X'/'Daddy X'

While I am a strong advocate of scrapping nonsense culture, I equally advocate wives/husbands make use of common sense and courtesy.

Would she address her married elder sister by name or disrespect her?

pinky1974:
Hummmm, please for u to av a peaceful home n for ur marriage to work u can use words like Iya oko mi for her n Mummy wa for your mother In law
Wishing you all the best o
Plenty Lessons in marriage O
God bless

see village woman o




iya oko mi and mummy wa.


What the fk



did you grow up in a cave? This is 2015 in case you have forgotten and not 1974

Gbam. You have earned yourself a nice lunch today. Oya sweery mi bukky

bukatyne:


A wife should have the common sense to address her in-laws older than her by 'Aunty Y'/'Uncle Y' or 'Mummy X'/'Daddy X'

While I am a strong advocate of scrapping nonsense culture, I equally advocate wives/husbands make use of common sense and courtesy.

Would she address her married elder sister by name or disrespect her?

bukatyne:


A wife should have the common sense to address her in-laws older than her by 'Aunty Y'/'Uncle Y' or 'Mummy X'/'Daddy X'

While I am a strong advocate of scrapping nonsense culture, I equally advocate wives/husbands make use of common sense and courtesy.

Would she address her married elder sister by name or disrespect her?

Why?
Don't people call people older than them by name?
Why can't I call my elder sister by name? Or because she is married?
We just like to over-emphasize things that don't matter.....imagine someone saying they were taking it for granted, like she became their student the moment she married into their family.
I'm a huge believer of MUTUAL respect but calling people aunty is the least of my worries. I have friends that are 10 years older than me, married with kids and they go by their name! Respecting them is another story altogether.


if I were in op's shoes however, wisdom is profitable to direct!
She should think of what she wants-'to be right or to be happy'!

ArchEnemy:
Call her aunty and let sleeping dogs lie. It won't make you any lesser

This is where the first mistake has been made - because the precedence or tradition of calling your in laws such is due to the woman actually being regarded as 'lesser'

Just because she has married into the family doesn't mean she needs to degrade herself in such manner - I assume the op isn't in the village, isn't uneducated and whether or not she has uneducated in laws is the problem of her husband and not hers. If the mother in law can kick up a fuss in such trivial matters she doesn't deserve to be entertained.

It starts with 'you must call your younger ones aunty and uncle' where does it end? Before you know it they will have less respect for you and start demanding more. You have to nip it in the bud.

naijababe:
OP, choose your battles. You don't have to call her aunty, some people give nicknames so as not call their spouse's siblings that are younger aunty.

Let me even help you small, orente, idi-ileke, Ayiluko, omo daddy etc

opelenge, eyin afe, oko iyawo, omo ile iwe. too much self

SAMBARRY:
Why na

stop bringing me back on this thread kuilye abeg.

tooth cavity recipients boku here , the pain is excruciating

And I repeat..

Bottom Line : People should learn to Respect other Ethnic group culture doctrines. The fact that 'for the life of you' can't grasp the logic/reason behind that practice doesn't give you the audacity to rubish it. Period.

There are countless external cultural practice I don't understand too and asked myself 'why'. I don't go ahead and call them names.

queensmith:


This is where the first mistake has been made - because the precedence or tradition of calling your in laws such is due to the woman actually being regarded as 'lesser'

Just because she has married into the family doesn't mean she needs to degrade herself in such manner - I assume the op isn't in the village, isn't uneducated and whether or not she has uneducated in laws is the problem of her husband and not hers. If the mother in law can kick up a fuss in such trivial matters she doesn't deserve to be entertained.

It starts with 'you must call your younger ones aunty and uncle' where does it end? Before you know it they will have less respect for you and start demanding more. You have to nip it in the bud.

Queen you ve a point. But would you rather let anyone generate discord in your home simply because you don't wanna call somebody aunty? Is the fight worth it?

ArchEnemy:
Queen you ve a point. But would you rather let anyone generate discord in your home simply because you don't wanna call somebody aunty? Is the fight worth it?

she's already generating discord, she could have easily said shes not a fan of how her daughter is addressed. Instead she kicked up a fuss, tomorrow she'll start something else.

One better not allow anybody to tear her home down. If the MIL doesn't want to behave she can be phased out.

Ewuro4:


stop bringing me back on this thread kuilye abeg.

tooth cavity recipients boku here , the pain is excruciating

And I repeat..

na teeth you dey use type?

queensmith:


she's already generating discord, she could have easily said shes not a fan of how her daughter is addressed. Instead she kicked up a fuss, tomorrow she'll start something else.

One better not allow anybody to tear her home down. If the MIL doesn't want to behave she can be phased out.

not to that extent cos you ll still need her. But she should not be the one calling the shots

bukatyne:


A wife should have the common sense to address her in-laws older than her by 'Aunty Y'/'Uncle Y' or 'Mummy X'/'Daddy X'

While I am a strong advocate of scrapping nonsense culture, I equally advocate wives/husbands make use of common sense and courtesy.

Would she address her married elder sister by name or disrespect her?

I always frown at any sort of disrespect to whoever is involved, cousins, wife any body at all. I just feel she should have known better.

coogaluta:


Why?
Don't people call people older than them by name?
Why can't I call my elder sister by name? Or because she is married?
We just like to over-emphasize things that don't matter.....imagine someone saying they were taking it for granted, like she became their student the moment she married into their family.
I'm a huge believer of MUTUAL respect but calling people aunty is the least of my worries. I have friends that are 10 years older than me, married with kids and they go by their name! Respecting them is another story altogether.
'!

coogaluta calling elder sisters aunty or not depends on the family. I just feel one should go with what works in one family.

For e.g I call siblings and cousins within the same age range by name . If you are out of my range I can add sister but then that's what works for us. In some families even if you are a month older you must add 'sister' or aunty.

For a wife I would also say observe what works in your husbands family.

pls wat is e and o

ladynice:
pls wat is e and o

e means ekuse o
o means okuse o

Yesinde:
opelenge, eyin afe, oko iyawo, omo ile iwe. too much self

what does eyin afe mean?

ladynice:
pls wat is e and o

e is a yoruba word used for referring to someone older than you in yoruba land

o is used for your mate and someone younger

Chinum:


e means ekuse o
o means okuse o

don't mind her lady nice

SAMBARRY:
na teeth you dey use type?

No but Your oral health says a lot about your lifestyle and class . I dont engage such people in discussions.

Yetseyi nice one