I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE - Family (3)

Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,150,845 members, 7,810,255 topics. Date: Saturday, 27 April 2024 at 02:57 AM

I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE - Family (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE (15410 Views)

Hilarious Story Of Nigerian Man Divorcing Wife In US Because She's A Witch / Divorcing Man Applies For Custody Of His Wife’s Breasts / "I Regret Divorcing My Former Husband, The Beating I Receive Now Is Worse" (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Nobody: 8:04pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
please I need advice on my marriage. my husband is lazy and always dependents on people for survival. Am tired of supporting a man who is not ready to stand. At a time, I had to start selling food for us to cope n pay our son's school fees. we are both graduates. He got depressed and discouraged after applying for several jobs. he graduated since 2008, and still jobless till now. I don't know how I can cope any longer. please matured people of nairaland should advice me. chair cover, efemenaxy, greatgod2012, its a pity osisi is not around anymore, cococandy, tallesty n many more I can't mention. thank u all.

The man is depressed and leaving him will just push him over the edge. Your children may not forgive you later if that happens.
I know that you have tried. No one dare say otherwise. Its hard when the job of 2 people go on one persons head
But sis let me tell you; everyone has their own cross to bear, some just larger than others.

You said the man is a loving man, he is nice and was there for you when you needed him.
He needs you now than ever before
He needs you to be strong for him now.

What is he good at? what are his interests? How can you help him? He may not get a job but he can still bring in money. Sometimes what people need is just a head start and ideas. can he join you in your biz?
Hard as it is, please support him, he is your husband. Stand firm for him, encourage him, pray for him, scour for jobs for him and if its business that you think he will excel in, then please support him. If you dont do it for him, who will do it for him?

No one knows what tomorrow may bring. I have with my own 2 eyes seen several miracles of grass to grace. No be dem say.

Give him a hug and tell him that you beleive in him and tell him that he will use his hand to write cheques of hundreds of thousands.
Lay your hands on him and pray for him. Sometimes one just needs encouragement and for someone to beleive in one.

As for the ones laughing . . . dont they laugh at jonathan? Are they better than him.? People will always talk and laugh . . doesnt mean that they are better than you. If anything it makes you stronger. There is no shame in hardwork.

It is well sis. Pls dont give up.

11 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Mamaflex(f): 8:12pm On Jul 07, 2015

What Op needs is a job. I don't think there is any other problem. The only enemy here is poverty.

Op just hold on. God might be working things out for you guys already which the devil don't want you to enjoy by giving you such ridiculous idea.

Those laughing at you now are same people that will come and dance #Godwin with you.

Thelish cheer up!

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by thelish(f): 8:18pm On Jul 07, 2015

limamintruth:

Thats not fair bro. Didnt she agree to marry him in his 'unemployed' state? How many ladies of today will agree to start from nothing with a man & attain the success together?

Every individual, be it male or female, has a breaking point as to how much burden they can bear from others. Or why do you think most men now abhor dating/marrying 'broke' ladies they term 'liabilities'.

Or how would you feel if your spouse places all her needs in addition to that of the kids & that of maintaining the home upon you (especially if you are not earning much sef as salary)?

Definitely one will feel over-burdened, depressed & subsequently somewhat disdain towards the source of his/her stress.

thanks for ur understanding.

6 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by limamintruth: 8:42pm On Jul 07, 2015

Timbuktou:

The answer to this question is in bold in my comment. She married him for potential's sake, plus I suspect she must have been pregnant at the time. Had she known he would never make it in life, you think she'd have tied herself to such a destiny? . Can a woman marry a man knowing he'll never be rich, definitely, but what portion of the female demographic would that be?

First of all, no man should think providing for his wife is liability. That's his job. I don't believe in soliciting help from one's wife. Those men have the wrong orientation or have given up on their own potential to be able to carry the responsibility.

Proud and lordly.

Only if one is incapable. However, there's also the practice of cutting your coat according to your size which is becoming increasingly difficult in today's world. Why should the wife of a public school teacher be buying lace material of #150k? The security man in my compound earns #20k and has four children and his wife worships him, his apartment is just a little bigger than most provision shops.

Very true.

Though personally, I consider the term 'love' to be subjective..
I dont think I'l be wrong if I say EVERYONE falls in love for biased reasons..
These may range from wealth, family status, career status, academic achievement, beauty&physique, potential, sound virtues, sexual prowess e.t.c.

So It seems kinda out of place for us to criticize the OP's own 'biased' motivation for loving(or chosing to marry) her man cos we respectively have ours too wink

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by bomasek(m): 8:54pm On Jul 07, 2015

Op,my people say u no fit wash clothes with one hand,so advice or rather tell ya hubby to man up in a loving manner and hit the street. If it means joining you in what u do,so be it. The restaurant where I work is run by a couple and it's a delight seeing then daily work(ing) together. If he can't join u in selling food,he should snoop around the neighbour or environs and see what he can lay his hands on. I'll suggest he becomes an overnight estate agent and should fortune smile his way,your tale will change for the better. Hey,if u guys have kids,don't think of bringing another into the world. Cheers and goodluck.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Nobody: 9:03pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
is that how u saw it?

That is the picture your opening post painted. You did say you're divorce.

if my love for him was based on money, I won't even date him talk more of marrying him. am not boasting but I knew how my pocket money was for the both of us in school. we share my ATM n every other thing. That is to tell u how much I love him. he was driven out from his final exams, I had to borrow to pay for him to go back to the exam hall. so my dear, my only concern n fear is, for how long will these last? which I believe every human do have some fears at times.

And you are to be commended for how much effort and sacrifice you have put into the relationship...so far. I hate to sound cliched but, quitters don't win.

Am ready to stand by him. I just want him to put more effort n forget about past failures which are weighing him down. Even when I suggest he should hustle with our car in the evenings, he will not. if I can swallow my pride to sell food then why can't u do same. It takes two to tango. NB we have not had any fight for almost a decade now, just normal minor disagreement here n there.

That is the next battle should be inclined to face it. What he needs is a brain reset, a massive re-orientation. He needs to know he cannot give up now, and he needs to bin his ego. Poor man no fit afford ego. He's no better than those selling pure water and gala in traffic. He can make and sell plantain chips sef and he'll be making crazy money, I kid you not. There are businesses that promise huuuuuge returns after as little as six months. Good luck in whatever path you choose to tow.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 9:08pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
please I need advice on my marriage. my husband is lazy and always dependents on people for survival. Am tired of supporting a man who is not ready to stand. At a time, I had to start selling food for us to cope n pay our son's school fees. we are both graduates. He got depressed and discouraged after applying for several jobs. he graduated since 2008, and still jobless till now. I don't know how I can cope any longer. please matured people of nairaland should advice me. chair cover, efemenaxy, greatgod2012, its a pity osisi is not around anymore, cococandy, tallesty n many more I can't mention. thank u all.

Well, what were the good features that made you marry him in the first place?

This thing we call marriage is not like you see in the movies, it is not only a bed of roses but thorns as well. In this relationship you are going to have to be strong for your family even though that does not mean you are going to allow your husband continue to be lazy. A man that cant cater for his family is worse than an infidel. Kudos on your being resourceful soa s to send your kids to school and feed them. however, dont give up on your husband. Continue to encourage him, continue to push him and eventually by God's grace one day he will wake up to his responsibilites. Try not to be rude to him or rub his current predicament in his face, men have a tendency not to forget those things and can strike back when their luck changes for the better.

Be encouraged, it is well.

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Nobody: 9:10pm On Jul 07, 2015

limamintruth:

Very true.

Though personally, I consider the term 'love' to be subjective..
I dont think I'l be wrong if I say EVERYONE falls in love for biased reasons..
These may range from wealth, family status, career status, academic achievement, beauty&physique, potential, sound virtues, sexual prowess e.t.c.

So It seems kinda out of place for us to criticize the OP's own 'biased' motivation for loving(or chosing to marry) her man cos we respectively have ours too

Love, by definition is unconditional, as such any "biased reasons" negate the presence of love in choosing to commit tongue

. In fact, we may choose to criticise her if she claimed to have married out of love, which we clearly see cannot conquer the storm of poverty currently pervading their relationship. wink

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 9:12pm On Jul 07, 2015

ogawisdom:
Tell him to hustle thro other means while applying for white collar jobs. If u can sell food he shld learn hw to drive n drive keke, taxi, bus etc for ppl. He shld realize he has a son dt must b feed daily n other bills to pay. He shld learn some handwork or even go into farmin

Divorce is a no no, u married him jobless bc u love him soo he is ur cross nw. Pray dt God sees u guys thro this tryin period

exactly

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by EverestdeBliu(m): 9:12pm On Jul 07, 2015

nifemi25:
Don't divorce him instead advice him to lay his hand on something and always support him with prayer. Õoº°˚ ˚°ºoo shi ma da.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 9:14pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
I have always done that. he is a very nice man. I married him because I believed in him n his future. he stood for me at a bad phase of my life. his love gave me a reason to live n quit suicide. Though before our marriage, his brother promised him money to start a business , which we have even secured the shops. But he disappointed him after our marriage. He is my best friend n lover but how long can I wallow in poverty?? I just need someone to talk to. cos my heart is heavy .

And now he is going through sh1t, you want to leave him? undecided

Smh.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 9:15pm On Jul 07, 2015

raumdeuter:

The bolded are a lesson for men who are blinded by love and give selflessly in a relationship

Once you are broke, most women would forget those act and leave you. When you were down he stood by you, when he is down you feel like divorcing him

You are not at fault he is the one to blame

This made me want to shed tears sad

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 9:25pm On Jul 07, 2015

cococandy:
Don't divorce him.

I think many posters have already said valuable things you can adopt and see if it works for you.

[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTYuG1J15XGhCffgSOiq6rAQ6N11HdXGJAFgCqgbZUZAqZAqH6O[/img]

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by jossy26: 9:32pm On Jul 07, 2015

5minsmadness:

This made me want to shed tears

I tell you bro, people come to nairaland with one sided story and may be it's even a 15yr old girl will be advising married woman how to run her home and divorce her husband cos he doesn't have job.
you can go ahead and divorce him I bet you that guy will get a good job immediately you take that action maybe na you dey block the guy progress sef

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Nobody: 9:44pm On Jul 07, 2015

raumdeuter:

The bolded are a lesson for men who are blinded by love and give selflessly in a relationship

Once you are broke, most women would forget those act and leave you. When you were down he stood by you, when he is down you feel like divorcing him

You are not at fault he is the one to blame

Briffault's Law in action.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by thelish(f): 9:44pm On Jul 07, 2015

Thanks to all d brilliant ideas and comments so far. I really good after this whole conversation. I am so sorry for using the "D" word. its just that I was feeling so down and confuse. I would have prefer we both see a marriage counsellor for words of advice to carry on but I have gotten it here . we have discussed extensively, he will start up something d moment we can raise the capital. I also pushed him to call an old friend concerning job, they scheduled to meet on Thursday. we will keep our fingers crossed until something positive happens. how can i even live without him, he's been d only man I ever know all my life n I love him like pieces. people see us as d best couple in naija cos of our closeness n bond. they call us ejime, but they will never know what we are passing through. i only open up to those who are ready to help n not those who will mock us .his brothers told him that he can't have it all, that God cannot give him a good marriage n money at d same time. but that is a lie from d pit of hell. Thanks a million to u all. More advice are welcome .

8 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by thelish(f): 9:50pm On Jul 07, 2015

Thanks to all d brilliant ideas and comments so far. I really feel good after this whole conversation. I am so sorry for using the "D" word. its just that I was feeling so down and confuse. I would have prefer we both see a marriage counsellor for words of advice to carry on but I have gotten it here . we have discussed extensively, he will start up something d moment we can raise the capital. I also pushed him to call an old friend concerning job, they scheduled to meet on Thursday. we will keep our fingers crossed until something positive happens. how can i even live without him, he's been d only man I ever know all my life n I love him like pieces. people see us as d best couple in naija cos of our closeness n bond. they call us ejime, but they will never know what we are passing through. i only open up to those who are ready to help n not those who will mock us .his brothers told him that he can't have it all, that God cannot give him a good marriage n money at d same time. but that is a lie from d pit of hell. Thanks a million to u all. More advice are welcome .

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by Nobody: 9:51pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
Thanks to all d brilliant ideas and comments so far. I really good after this whole conversation. I am so sorry for using the "" word. its just that I was feeling so down and confuse. I would have prefer we both see a marriage counsellor for words of advice to carry on but I have gotten it here . we have discussed extensively, he will start up something d moment we can raise the capital. I also pushed him to call an old friend concerning job, they scheduled to meet on Thursday. we will keep our fingers crossed until something positive happens. how can i even live without him, he's been d only man I ever know all my life n I love him like pieces. people see us as d best couple in naija cos of our closeness n bond. they call us ejime, but they will never know what we are passing through. i only open up to those who are ready to help n not those who will mock us .his brothers told him that he can't have it all, that God cannot give him a good marriage n money at d same time. but that is a lie from d pit of hell. Thanks a million to u all. More advice are welcome .

Thats the spirit sis kiss

You have what a lot of people are praying for
Add the money and you have a perfect life
Some people have all the money but no peace

. . and yes, its possible to be comfortable and have a good marriage. dont listen to his brothers. It is only meant to depress you both.
Everyones life journey is different and for some its straight and the journey to destinaton quick and for some it takes longer
but I tell you something sis, when both parties are in one accord in heart and mind, things are much easier.
You will both get there by His grace.
You will have lots of stories to share with your kids . . .and they will just look at you with their mouths open grin

Yes there will be frustrating days, but look beyond that and look ahead.
Be prayerful & be good. I beleive that God will open doors for you both and your labout of love will not be in vain. Amen.

6 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 9:52pm On Jul 07, 2015

5minsmadness:

[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTYuG1J15XGhCffgSOiq6rAQ6N11HdXGJAFgCqgbZUZAqZAqH6O[/img]

pls don't be silly

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by raumdeuter: 10:03pm On Jul 07, 2015

thelish:
Thanks to all d brilliant ideas and comments so far. I really good after this whole conversation. I am so sorry for using the "" word. its just that I was feeling so down and confuse. I would have prefer we both see a marriage counsellor for words of advice to carry on but I have gotten it here . we have discussed extensively, he will start up something d moment we can raise the capital. I also pushed him to call an old friend concerning job, they scheduled to meet on Thursday. we will keep our fingers crossed until something positive happens. how can i even live without him, he's been d only man I ever know all my life n I love him like pieces. people see us as d best couple in naija cos of our closeness n bond. they call us ejime, but they will never know what we are passing through. i only open up to those who are ready to help n not those who will mock us .his brothers told him that he can't have it all, that God cannot give him a good marriage n money at d same time. but that is a lie from d pit of hell. Thanks a million to u all. More advice are welcome .

You are now talking.

Some people even though financially comfortable are not even sure their spouse wont poison them the next meal

Some people want to have you kind of relationship. Money is one of the least problems in a relationship if you were childless or have a child who is sick or you sef sick or have a terminal disease.

Money thats not here today might come tomorrow. Then what would happen? Also dont show him any bad attitude because he might remember how you treated him when he didnt have money

All the best in your marriage

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 10:06pm On Jul 07, 2015

cococandy:
pls don't be silly

On the contrary
I am highly impressed, amazed and pleasantly surprised! grin

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by thelish(f): 10:17pm On Jul 07, 2015

Thanks to all the brilliant ideas n advice. I really feel kinda light after these whole conversation. we have discussed extensively, n he will start up something d moment we can raise d capital. Am so sorry for using the" D" word. its just that I was really down and confused. I pray for strength to carry on. living without him will be another problem for me, as he is the only man I have known all my life. I can't just wait for him to be financially buoyant, as it has really affects his self esteem n self confidence. I have told him, u don't need money to be confident of yourself. all the same I trust God for his favour in our marriage . Thanks to you all.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by falseman(m): 10:19pm On Jul 07, 2015

Funny enough you may be the one hindering his progress spiritually and the moment you divorce him he will likely find a good job and get married again.

2 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 10:23pm On Jul 07, 2015

5minsmadness:

On the contrary
I am highly impressed, amazed and pleasantly surprised!

You're surprised because you don't stop to reason why I would support someone leaving a partner in one instance and sticking with them in another instance.
Why?
Because just like many, you assume that if someone tells an abused person to leave a marriage for their own safety, that must mean they will also tell someone to leave their partner because they didn't clean the house right.

I don't owe you explanation pls.
Carry your surprise and waka along.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 10:23pm On Jul 07, 2015

falseman:
Funny enough you may be the one hindering his progress spiritually and the moment you divorce him he will likely find a good job and get married again.

Mtchew.

8 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by thelish(f): 10:33pm On Jul 07, 2015

balogundayo:
i'm sorry to say this...buh i see no future with a man who prefers to live off other people's pockets and cant work to feed his family....

run!!! before he starts venting his frustrated self at u.....

but...you can stay o...if u wanna be regretful all ur life and eventually become a punching bag....

choose wisely..my opinion!

noooo, he is not the violent type. he is gentle n cool and have never raise his hand on anyone since I know him no matter the frustration. tanks for ur concern

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by falseman(m): 10:33pm On Jul 07, 2015

cococandy:

Mtchew.

The next time you quote me something strange will land you a slap.

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 10:34pm On Jul 07, 2015

falseman:

The next time you quote me something strange will land you a slap.

You mean the strange slap that twisted your brain?

Hindering progress spiritually ko.
No wonder you don't have sense.
Something 'spiritual' is going on with your head.

12 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by falseman(m): 10:39pm On Jul 07, 2015

cococandy:

You mean the strange slap that twisted your brain?

Hindering progress spiritually ko.
No wonder you don't have sense.
Something 'spiritual' is going on with your head.

Slutty Swine.

1 Like

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by cococandy(f): 10:42pm On Jul 07, 2015

falseman:

Slutty Swine.

You must be psychic.
How do you know that?

I fear you o.
Afraid is catching me sef join the fear.

5 Likes

Re: I Feel Like Divorcing My Husband: UPDATE by 5minsmadness: 10:43pm On Jul 07, 2015

cococandy:

You're surprised because you don't stop to reason why I would support someone leaving a partner in one instance and sticking with them in another instance.
Why?
[s]Because just like many, you assume that if someone tells an abused person to leave a marriage for their own safety, that must mean they will also tell someone to leave their partner because they didn't clean the house right.

I don't owe you explanation pls.
Carry your surprise and waka along[/s].

No, I am surprised beasue this is the FIRST TIME I am seeing you use the phrase do not divorce him in very clear coincise terms cheesy

There is hope for the world yet! Yay! grin

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

He Is A Womaniser, Will He Make My Mother Happy? / A nairalander has gone too soon. Bece / I Feel So Bad For Slapping My Wife This Morning

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 101
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.