Im in a very hopeless situation, and I dont know which way to turn. I met a Nigerian guy a few months ago, and he was my dreams come true. We are always so happy together. However, his family does not approve of him dating any American. His father is adamant that he marry another Nigerian and my guy is in the middle of it. On one hand, we have fun, but he does not want conflit with his family. He told me we could be friends, but Im wondering if it is worth the effort because I really have strong feelings for him. What are the chances of it blossoming into something longterm? Should I just try to move on or fight?

Are you sure he feels the same way ? No point fighting if it's going to be futile

Okay.

XavierBlue

I will comment in the fullness of time

1blkeffoe:
Im in a very hopeless situation, and I dont know which way to turn. I met a Nigerian guy a few months ago, and he was my dreams come true. We are always so happy together. However, his family does not approve of him dating any American. His father is adamant that he marry another Nigerian and my guy is in the middle of it. On one hand, we have fun, but he does not want conflit with his family. He told me we could be friends, but Im wondering if it is worth the effort because I really have strong feelings for him. What are the chances of it blossoming into something longterm? Should I just try to move on or fight?

is he willing to fight too?

have you actually met his father/ family?

are you familiar and comfortable with Nigerian culture?

There doesn't seem to be even an iota of effort to 'fight' for you on his part so I wouldn't bother personally, people get into relationships with people they like, standard, not ones dictated by third parties

Leave that Dude alone
let him obey his parent

The most important thing is to be sure if he is fighting for you.Has he tried to talk his parents into accepting you?Has he shown any resolve to go ahead with you.

It's in his hands really.If he doesn't fight,don't waste your time.It won't be worth it afteral.

I am not familiar specifically with Nigerians..as he is the first one I have ever dated, but I socialize almost entirely with Africans. I have Ghanian friends and was married to a Cameroonian man. I am very open to learning the culture. I have not met his family as we have only been dating for a few months, and I suspect due to the fact that he already knows that they would not accept me. However he still keep in contact, offers to take me out and come and spend time. This is why Im confused because he is sending mixed messages.

Thanks for all the feedback. I plan to move on because you guys are absolutely right.. he has to also fight if he wants it.. being passive to his family is a problem.

1blkeffoe:
Thanks for all the feedback. I plan to move on because you guys are absolutely right.. he has to also fight if he wants it.. being passive to his family is a problem.

Yes by all means move on. If a man wants you in his life its clear like daylight when they don't you become confused besides he already told you the truth that his family will not accept you anything after this is just you creating a fantasy relationship. I hope friends here does not mean friends with benefit and even if just friends i advise you move on by cutting contact to get over him because you have strong feelings for him staying in contact will keep you hoping he sees the beauty of a relationship with you.