funlord:


Hmmm! He is still 2 young 2 be introduced 2 "wu shu techniques", so 4 now get him enrolled in a karate class! It would help with bonding with other kids, exercise and developing his confidence! As 4 YOU! U also need 2 stop screaming @ him like a lunatic! Use cartoons and ice cream promises 2 get him 2 do your bidding! HE is still a CHILD ffs!

after this ur brilliant advice, u con spoil am with insult?

I'm not sure of the type, but I'm of the opinion someone is "abusing" that child at home. Which is why he keeps to himself at home but is free outside.

Op, do you have a maid? Older kids? Relatives staying with you? What about his Dad?

Or perhaps stop spanking him

classicB:
Your child is introvert my sister, he is probably a phlegmatic. Your should read stuffs on phlegmatic and how to help him develop his self esteem. I remembered growing up too. Mum used to get angry with silly things like this!!
Is he slow to anger?? How well does he relate with his siblings and people around?? Does he prefer staying alone?? is he outspoken? These are signs to look out for, stop beating him pls. Get closer to him and be his bestie

thanks sis. very slow to anger, even if angry he won't express it. He prefers to watch cartoon n play games. he is only outspoken when he is really happy.

thelish:

He can bear pains as well. There was a day, the dad mistakenly jam the door against his hand, every other would scream or shout to alert his dad, but my son kept quiet there bearing the pain while his hand was still strapped to d door. It was so annoying that I had to spank him for keeping quiet.

You spanked him for bearing pain?

Fear God now!

sonofananimal1:
GUY!! I DEY OK..


NA WETI THEM DO US WHEN WE SMALL

lol
she could also adopt your method, she needs every possibility.

boyesola:
he will soon overgrow this, dont bother yourself.

Hmmm dnt say dt oo....d earlier d better bro if ma mum ad done same I wouldn't grow up n start teachin mysef to b outspoken...


I rather beat my boi for bin stubborn,fearless n headstrong dan beatin him for bin cold


@op u av killd his confidence @home wiv all d shouting...psychologists in d hous cud help tho

?

HDee:

lol
she could also adopt your method, she needs every possibility.

THAT METHOD IS NOT GOOD AT ALL OHH. THE CHILD MIGHT COME BACK TO HER SOME CERTAIN POINT IN LIFE

writetopoker:


ar u ok?

Keep displaying more ignorance.

thelish:
am not divorced, he is behaving almost like the dad. I just need advice on how to change him.

okay
all the best.

Teempakguy:
Are you harsh towards him?

Is your voice loud and hard?

Does he go to a boarding school?

Let's start from there.

I think she is harsh or hard sounding in her tone, my son behaves the same way.. docile at home and a party animal in school.

My wife uses the same tone she uses for her subordinates at work.. the questioning tone.. rather than saying words such as "Let me know when you get to a point that you need help understanding" she says "You don't understand?" in a rising tone and her expression is a serious - what is wrong with you. Children are very sensitive to facial expressions and tone of voice.. this is why Teachers are trained to speak in a language and tone that encourages the child to speak out and express himself.. not afraid to make mistakes without getting penalized.

Most parents do not know how to interact with children this way

marketoro:
Take him out, buy things for him...then call him always and ask him if he has any problem..be concern about his welfare

we take him n his brother out regularly, he likes outing. I give him my fone to play games, but can't see any improvement.

Make he dey smoke igbo

thelish:

He can bear pains as well. There was a day, the dad mistakenly jam the door against his hand, every other would scream or shout to alert his dad, but my son kept quiet there bearing the pain while his hand was still strapped to d door. It was so annoying that I had to spank him for keeping quiet.

What!!!! That happened nd u even spanked im? oh dear I think m going to loose it. U re thinking he can bear pains but he is not feeling loved, he is trying not to make u see him weak, he is trying to be strong for himself.

Pls stop spanking him

femi4:
It should be the other way round on a normal condition. Perhaps you shout him down each time he tried to express himself at home.
Anyway, going forward.....make the house conducive for him. Let him see you as a friend and not just a mother. Your son lacks freedom of expression at home, involve him in all manners of discussion or gist and listen to his view/perspective. In fact involve him in some decision making like "what can we eat this evening?" It ll help his self confidence and makes him feel important/among.

You shouldnt restrict communication alone to academics

thanks for ur input

Leave him at school.....

Oh dear, your son might be autistic, please get him to a good medical facility for immediate checks.

MhizDeedy:


What!!!! That happened nd u even spanked im? oh dear I think m going to loose it. U re thinking he can bear pains but he is not feeling loved, he is trying not to make u see him weak, he is trying to be strong for himself.

Pls stop spanking him

you are a wicked mother. How can you do that to a 4year old. Just 4.you too need to be beaten. See how you have scared the boy to death that hr cannot voice out his pain and you still beat him on top.


you deserve 10 strokes of cane

Stop trying to force him to change,that could be his nature.
Always create time to play with him,ask him about his friends,teacher and school activities.See if he has interest in other things like painting,doodling or drawing which you,his dad and brother can do together.
Lastly,show affection by hugging him and tell him you love him because i see he keeps his emotions to himself. He can be an introvert and still be confident

SAMBARRY:
you are a wicked mother. How can you do that to a 4year old. Just 4.you too need to be beaten. See how you have scared the boy to death that hr cannot voice out his pain and you still beat him on top.


you deserve 10 strokes of cane

Exactly but y re u av quoting me instead of her?

thelish:
he can keep quiet for a 2yrs old boy to bite his forehead. anybody, be it junior, agemate, senior can oppress him n take his thing, he will not talk but will be pained inside of him. The whole thing looks like hereditary to me. But how can I help him speak up when he needs to

He is growing up to become a genius only if u can bring him up in the right way,do everything u can to understand the type of person he is and create his interest in things that can improve his intellectual capacity so that when he is mature enough all his thought will be on anything that can improve him academically.

MhizDeedy:



Exactly but y re u av quoting me instead of her?

sorry jare as the thing pain me reach ni.na op get that one no be you


@op do you know what you are doing is very dangerous. By the time he grows a thick skin to your impulsive beating he will become unnecessarily aggressive over sensitive and touchy as an adolescent with zero self esteem. Besides you're sending a wrong message that beating solves everything

is when he gets to secondary school you will begin to see the manifestation of everything you've done for that boy. When he and his classmate have a disagreement he believes violence will solve the matter (because that's what you have taught him)

When you are called from home to come and pick your son who has beaten his classmate to coma you'll know what's up

INTROVERT247:
He is growing up to become a genius only if u can bring him up in the right way,do everything u can to understand the type of person he is and create his interest in things that can improve his intellectual capacity so that when he is mature enough all his thought will be on anything that can improve him academically.

exactly. You cannot force a melancholic child to become choleric. Besides he's still growing

SAMBARRY:
If you're in the habit of perpetually disgracing your son indoors or slapping him at the slightest provocation don't expect him to behave like a sharp kid at home


some mothers are in the habit of calling their children names like olodo
stoopeed child
is it not your mate that came first in class
useless boy

Because he failed a question you asked him or his result was poor

bottom line is you have done something to make him loose his confidence and self esteem around you that's why you will see some children looking so bright and smart in school and around their teachers because their teacher has made him feel loved and respected and even encouraged him to try harder when he fails but the moment he gets home he becomes dense because you cannot see the best in anybody in an environment of fear . make him feel comfortable at home and never mock him even if he fails. Don't compare him to any child in private or public



All this African way of training children is why you'll see kids being abused but will be too scared to talk at home. You no dey see Oyinbo children ni

iya wura ose oo. thanks for this piece

SAMBARRY:
sorry jare as the thing pain me reach ni.na op get that one no be you


@op do you know what you are doing is very dangerous. By the time he grows a thick skin to your impulsive beating he will become unnecessarily aggressive over sensitive and touchy as an adolescent with zero self esteem. Besides you're sending a wrong message that beating solves everything

is when he gets to secondary school you will begin to see the manifestation of everything you've done for that boy. When he and his classmate have a disagreement he believes violence will solve the matter (because that's what you have taught him)

When you are called from home to come and pick your son who has beaten his classmate to coma you'll know what's up

As in ehn, as I am reading these sef I am close to tears, this boy is really suffering in his house. Aww that small baby needs parental love nd care

thelish:
thanks sis. very slow to anger, even if angry he won't express it. He prefers to watch cartoon n play games. he is only outspoken when he is really happy.

You've got an introvert boy.

thelish:
Please, how can I help my 4 year old son overcome fear?

He seems to be very free outside, but keep to himself at home.

Before his holiday, I went to his school to confront them, because
he couldn't answer a question from his book, but my son fall my hand
right there. He was reading all what he refused to read at home.

Please I need help. He seems to lack self confidence.

I tried to reduce my shouting at him in order to draw him close to myself,
but there is still no improvement yet.

Thanks

you have turned the boy into a robot !
hes too scared of u, u too, u are too harsh.. my step mother too is a little bit harsh on her 3 year old son, dont force children to do what they dont want to.. just monitor them while doing it..

i really feel sad for the boy tho.. be nicer and dont ever beat him.. u are his mom, not the wicked maid

thelish:

He can bear pains as well. There was a day, the dad mistakenly jam the door against his hand, every other would scream or shout to alert his dad, but my son kept quiet there bearing the pain while his hand was still strapped to d door. It was so annoying that I had to spank him for keeping quiet.

Now that is weird; I hope you are not the one with the problem. I can not imagine spanking a child cos he/she is expected to cry and they failed to do so. Shudders!

Another thing. Is he the only child for now? I'm asking cos perhaps if he had siblings he may be more open but then again only children could also be chatty. It depends on the child's temperament.

Finally how is the atmosphere at home? Sorry to ask but do you quarrel, cry out or scream at the hubby a lot? Does your husband yell a lot at you or anyone else? Do you people do this in the presence of the kids? I tell you kids don't need to see or hear such things.

Please search yourself. Do people stay with you guys like relations? What is the boys behavior with them?

If you have examined every one of the above and its fine then I'll say don't worry. The kid is fine; give him time to grow. Good luck

MhizDeedy:



As in ehn, as I am reading these sef I am close to tears, this boy is really suffering in his house. Aww that small baby needs parental love nd care

u look kissable.

# i might be wrong tho

MhizDeedy:
I wil not lie to u but that child of urz is scared of u, most Nigerian parents don't just get their children. U wil think bcoz u re his mother u know better but u don't. He is still a small kid nd he wil want u to understand him, according to d sch aspect I feel he gets along well with his teacher nd classmates more, he may even open up more with people he feel understand him, u may feel he is small but he knows things.


Re u a busy parent? Do u interact with him often? Do u scold him frequently? Do u play nd study with him regularly? Do u watch cartoons with him or even take him out to av fun? I wil not say u re @ fault but maybe u shld change ur methods with him.

Thank u ma'am. I appreciate ur write up.

MhizDeedy:



As in ehn, as I am reading these sef I am close to tears, this boy is really suffering in his house. Aww that small baby needs parental love nd care

That's where all this wife beaters get their behaviour from

any small thing gba any small thing gbo because their mother is teaching them that they should use violence to react to any small misunderstanding.even you as an adult how will you feel if your husband intimidated you so bad that you cannot even express how you feel again and then he mistakenly slammed the door at your hand and then beat you for not voicing out. You too take pin and pinch yourself and know how it feels like before doing it to another person na



op you go be very wicked step mother and scary mil o

Karleb:

You spanked him for bearing pain?
Fear God now!

No, for keeping quiet.