Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by slamoniker(f): 10:52pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Hello Nairalanders, I'm set to be married in a few weeks. About my groom; if making love was my most important criteria for marriage, he'd definitely not be my choice husband. HOWEVER he is an amazing, godly, caring man (let me state that I do not believe in "love" the way most people do. I do believe in compatibility, companionship and understanding which is present in our relationship, this is "love"  About my ex-; I have an amazing ex-. Love-making: on point. Companionship: on point. Fun/ understanding each other: on point! The relationship however did not work out. I so remember the way he cried when I had to end the relationship then because of serious irreconcilable issues between both our families. That was 2013. We have since remained casual friends, even somewhat cold and distant. The two major things I miss about the old relationship is the way we totally got along and the love-making. With my wedding knocking loudly at the door, I can't push away the thought of spending one last night with him. Since 2013 I have restrained myself from all physical intimacy with him for the sake of my relationship. Right now however, all of my body wants to be with him, for the very last time. At least. So dear nairalanders, my distress and confusion is this, if I make love with him, would I regret it after I'm married? Or would I regret it IF I don't? I certainly do not want any "oh I should have" after my wedding, which if left to foster might lead to adultery. God forbid! And yes, I know they'd be lots of insults and jabs at me but I do hope some of you would please talk to me. Thank you. |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 10:54pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
But wouldn't you feel guilty if you did that so close to your wedding?! Especially if you have been keeping yourself for almost 2 years. What would be the point of it You said your ex was crying when you broke up. Are you sure he wouldn't use it against you if you slept with him again, to ruin your marriage He might feel like you are using him. Which you kind of are  3 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by naijaboiy: 10:56pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
"One Last Time" may be the beginning of a series of sexual escapades with your ex even after you get married. If you can keep away from him for two years why lose your guard now? Be guided.  7 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by meimoks(f): 10:58pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
while you are thinking about going to meet your ex, remember karma is waiting 1 Like |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by chibwike(m): 11:00pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
OK,it seems you are more attached to your ex, simply coz he is good in bed. Well, since it didn't work out between you two then it wasn't meant to be You are big enough to know what's good and bad. follow ur mind and try doing the right thing God will help you. 3 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by highdreez(m): 11:02pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
I don't really think that's the next step for u to take, u made it known that you've restricted yourself from anything that could lead to that in the past but u wouldn't mind neglecting that now? Then you haven't done anything....if you engage in that,what's the assurance that you wouldn't involve in adulterous act in the future just to satisfy your feelings? Don't you know this step could make your wedding hope end and thereby leading to disgrace to yourself,friends and family? u only know of your mind but not his intention concerning your wedding. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by cold(m): 11:03pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
No! Stop yourself now before you do anything stupìd. It sure won't be easy,after all you're human but i'd strongly suggest you show some restraint. These kinda things have a way of spiralling out of control. Never mind the responses you'll get here. You're most likely going to be told to pray about it anyways. And probably told to fast while you're at it. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:03pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Follow your mind, nothing dey happen |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by ladyF(f): 11:07pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Imagine ur hubby-to-be having one last time with all his exes. How does that make u feel? Use brain o, if dem do am to me and I catch u, I no go hear sorry! 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:07pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: Are you serious |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:09pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: Yes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:10pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Nobody: 11:12pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Since sex is your only problem in this life, why don't you marry your ex, and have his dick forever, making sure that the sex will always "be on point"? Hypocrite. Look at her saying "God forbid" to "adultery" which she considers a sin. How about "fornication"? Aren't you gonna be fornicating with this ex of yours? You asked for a honest advice and I am giving it to you, as e dey hot. . . You're a complete and utter _idiot. You get along so well with someone, the sex is good, for two years after you broke up with him, he has always been on your mind. You've been restraining yourself from fvcking him blah blah blah, but here you are getting married to another person. No chemistry, no good sex, probably getting married for money. And here you are, asking me if you can fvck him for one last time and whether it won't affect your ministry? Have you put your hand over fire and it refused to burn you? That's just how utterly fvcking _stupid the question you're asking, sounds right now. . . Don't fvck only him. Fvck his father, his brothers and his cousins. . . Even his dog. . . . Ewu iberibe. And the poor man thinks he's getting married to a "woman". Tufiiiiaaaa. 13 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:14pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: If she likes, at least I wunt know....if it's her joy then she can have fun,who cares |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:16pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: Lol what!! wait let me prepare my food first |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:19pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: It late to eat now, cause of improper digestion..please wait till tomorrow morning, I care |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:20pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: yeah im debating whether to go and get it but im hungry o |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by eyinjuege: 11:23pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
You will definitely cheat on your partner when you get married. My advice to you, delete all contacts with your ex. His opinion of you would even be lower if you mess yourself up like that. Try to spice up your sex life with your hubby, read books, watch movies, use some devices. But avoid any form of contact with your ex. Not even a hello. If you see him coming toward you by chance, change your direction. You know your weakness already, so try to avoid anything that'll make you even chat or talk. In fact, if you have a romp with him, it'll only be confirmation of what his family told him- he just escaped a canon ball. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:25pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle:Not much time left till morning, tell the op same thing I said, and sleep, wake-up and eat in the morning but dunt forget to take your dinner early again |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:27pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: Ok thanks but you seriously don't mind if your wife cheats on you as long as you don't find out?? |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by slamoniker(f): 11:30pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: Insightful! Thank you so much!! |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:30pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: You should know that! Nothing happens so far one dunt know, it's a free world....life is so short so have fun |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:32pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: do you take this attitude with other matters are you a Nigerian?! |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:33pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
slamoniker: Youre really welcome. But what made you go down this route of thinking? are you nervous about your upcoming wedding or |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Nobody: 11:35pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
And you said love making is not a criteria? I knew you don't know what you were saying when you said that.... On a more comprehensive note however, I don't at all feel your choice of marrying ur fiancé is ok. If your definition of love making aint jes d sex act exclusively, LovE making is 60 percent relationship aider, other factors share the remaining 40. |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:38pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: Oh yeah, to both questions |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by slamoniker(f): 11:41pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: Nervous is an understatement! I'm terrified! I realize now I'm such a coward, cowering to the whims of society. My fiancee must have noticed too, just yesterday he asked if I was ready for this. I'm not backing out, no, but "forever" scares the living day light out of me! |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:41pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
libertyfather: anyway until I come across you in real life don't think its possible for a guy to talk like this |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by Gurgle(f): 11:43pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
slamoniker: Ok what exactly are you nervous about? the wedding day itself, the thought of being married, the thought of being married to this guy IN PARTICULAR, children, living with him and not your family, not having the same life as before, or what? Some nerves are normal, after all its a big step. But if its making you to travel these irrational routes of thinking I would suggest you reach the root cause before taking it I wouldn't say you are a coward since it must have taken something to admit you were feeling this way, even on an anonymous forum. some people cant even admit it to themselves. Everybody feels pressure to fit in with society once in a while. But what we forget is that what society says is "right" changes with every passing minute. Therefore its important not to get caught in that wind of change, because it isn't really based on anything solid. Hope you get what im saying 3 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by slamoniker(f): 11:45pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
naijaboiy: Hm! "If I can keep away from him for two years..." Good question. *heavy sigh*. Be guided? Yessir! Thank you! |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by naijaboiy: 11:50pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
slamoniker:it's not easy,,i know that. But it's a very tough choice you have to make. You are already committed to someone so you shouldn't jeopardise things. Having sex with your ex before marriage does not nullify the fact that you have cheated. As long as you have someone else whom you are already committed to. 2 Likes |
| Re: Advice Please! One Last Time With The Ex- Or Not? by libertyfather(m): 11:51pm On Jul 26, 2015 |
Gurgle: Ok no problem, life goes on always expect the least even though I get to know she's having an affair it wunt hurt @ all....to me it one those tinz |
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