hhh

sista before i giv my advice. wat are you fears? what do u have in mind?

one thing you should hold on to is the Love you have for him. Try to know the plans he has, how does he expect to get an apartments? how far has he paid the dept? One thing is certain, so long Love is involved, you can work it out together. The Marriage is important but believe me, you wouldn't want to experience a marriage of dept. Believe the word, that a man that finds a wife, finds favour, with God, with people, with the society. Miracle still happens. Don't allow fear to destroy what you want for yourself. fear is just False Expectation Appearing Real.

GudLuck

Baby Girl;

You should be thanking your stars that the guy is transparent to you about his financial position. You did not tell us how long it will take him to finish servicing the loan. The truth is that many guys are servicing one loan or the other e.g. auto/property lease rentals, loan carried to invest in stock market, wonderbanks etc.

All you need to do is to help him in putting a plan in place, drastically reduce the budget of the wedding ceremony and set an achievable goal in terms of date of the wedding,

, You are on your way to success.

Let me know (gracepoint4ladies@yahoo.com) when the wedding is approaching. I will give a little support and personally attend if it takes place in Lagos.

Im afraid d we wont be able to get married ds year.also that he wont be able to handle our needs financialy.im thnkin of postponin d weddin bt he wuldnt hear anytn of it.plus i dnt want 2 send a negative vibe 2 my family.

as i said before. u re just afraid. ur man is been open to you. open ur mind to him too so you solve the problems together. marriage is a life time thing so you must not make mistake about it.

@webpro Thanks i'l kip trying.maybe im being too practical.

@ POSTER, kpeli

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY.  MY ADVICE TO U IS TO FIND OUT WHAT HE USED THE MONEY FOR ? IF IT IS FOR THE BETTERMENT OF BOTH OF U OR FOR A LONG TERM INVESTMENT THEN ENCOURAGE HIM. AND STAND BY HIM LIKE A SOLID ROCK. OR MAYBE HIM IS TRYING UR PATIENCE AND PUTTING U TO TEST WHICH U MAY FALL TO.   BE WISE , COS MY ELDER BRS DID THIS SAME TO HIS GIRL. HE KEPT HIS JOB A SECRET AND WHEN SHE EVENTUALLY KNEW ABOUT IT HE REDUCED HIS TAKEHOME PAY TO NXT 2 NOTIN BY MAINTAINING A STANDING DEDUCTION FROM HIS SALARY FOR FIXED DEPOSIT WITH HIS BANK. WHEN SHE FEELS HE CANT TAKE CARE OF HER SHE LEFT AND WITHIN TWO MONTH SHE WALKED OUT HE BOUGHT HIS 1ST CAR AND A HOUSE.
SHE WAS FILLED WITH REGRETS AND SHE LOST UR CHANCE.

THUS, BE WISE AND STAND BY UR GUY

Stick to him. . . He needs you most ryt now.

Dont worry too much about it all you need to do is pray and have faith that one day every thing will come back to normal and always learn to stand by him and to encourage him too. good luck, the lord is your strenght

THE BURDEN OF FINANCING A WEDDING SHOULD NOT BE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE MAN ALONE. ALTHOUGH THE MAN MAKES THE FIRST & BOLD MOVE, THE WOMAN SHOULD ALSO SUPPORT. NA SO THE RESPOSIBILITY SHARING OF MARRIAGE DEY TAKE START O.

enter the gbese!

not my biz, but i hope this is a one off thing( your dude's loan) and i hope it was for something sensible ( i do not consider a late model car to be a sensible purchase)

there is no need for an elaborate wedding, if it comes to that. if your dude insists on one, with things the way they are, then i hope you are earning a good salary, as you may find yourself shouldering a lot of the bills for the time being. . .

hello stephanie.

im sorry abt u situation buti cldnt help noticing wer u said uve JUST NOTICED all hes money going to pay back that loan? i have 2 questions.

number 1: how long did u date for? you should have known if he had a loan and how much of hes salry was going to it u cant just be noticing now?

number2: wat did he use the money for? a car? business investemnts? it is really important to know how responsible he is with money. (which i think us hould already know by now; by the way)

alll the other advice has already been given.
dont kid urself if hes not wise with money or responsible with it. its going to be a looooong marriage. but if hes just tryin to make ends meet you should stand by him an dlook for ways yourself to make some extra money.

r u a graduate? r u working? u should be positive and things will turn around

please stay with him
pls ooooo
he need you must for now

u de talk as if d money wont b fully paid sumday
abeg stick wit d guy jare

U guys should join both head and hands together n solve d problem ok,#2m is not that big an amount that will take eternity to pay.Stay wit him,for financial crisis only last for a while(weepin may come in d night,but JOY commeth in d mornin) na d bible i believe in talk am

@ poster

Girl relax, it may not be as bad as you think. First what was the loan for?

Do you work too?

From my understanding, if your boo works in a bank then he does not have a choice because it is compulsory for you to take certain loans as soon as you are confirmed. I think housing and car loans are compulsory. What you sholud be worried about is what it was used for. Talk to him about it and if you work too, you can support your spouse.

you mentioned it that you agreed to marry him 'cos you truly love him.A good way to start.
Now,it's the time to start smelling the coffee.
Your man has a good job (to take a 2m naira loan no be small thing).What if he doesn't have a job?
I work and i took a loan to buy some "good" stocks that went bad.About 60% of my salary goes into repayment but it's not forever.
I know a lot of people in my shoes.Your man might just be one of us.Even if the loan was for something else,the fact is that there is already a problem,the solution is what you should bother yourself with.
Your wedding ceremony shouldn't be elaborate but if you have a dream wedding like i have,you can do something small this year and get back to the main thing later.
Do you have a job? if yes,you can support him.He needs you more at this period.
I do believe in miracles though but first, take a bold step in the right direction.
There is a need to talk with him about this loan thing.You will need a very honest discussion and i'm sure you'll know which way to turn after.Tell him your fears,everything.
Stick with him sis,i see a very honest man.You'll smile when the storm is over!

@poster,
though financial strength contributes in a lasting marriage but you sound as if you are all interested in his finances only,let me tell you a story,The director of my company had his wedding when he was nobody,it was like where a common bikeman was wedding and took him 10yrs to have a child,my company makes 200 million a month and he owns it.think about it.

oluwdashmi:

I think the first thing is to know what he used the money for, how long he has been paying and how long it will take him to complete it. If he used it for something that would benefit both of you (now or future) then you've got no worry. Also, if you love him, stay by his side and encourage him. God will see you thru.

That's really good.

i know someone who didnt have a ceiling fan when he got married to a beautiful babe from a well to do family
the guy was in debt, couldnt do jack but stuck to his dream with his wife

In his own case, his wife was supportive in prayers but not financially cos the wifes family didnt approve of the union so all financial support they expected froze

now, he owns a company, owns properties in VGC Lagos, drive exotic cars, popular in Lagos (corporate world) and his a Harvard alumnus
(all these after the marriage)

so madam, he needs you right now and pls dont abandon him now

meanwhile, i can swear the whole of Lagos, UK , USA are in debt
even the government of Iceland is bankrupt so ur husband is not alone in this debt laden world of ours

Being in debt is not the end of the world. As long as he's come clean with you on that and is actually doing something about it.
Stick by his side if you truly love him-things will get better with time.

@Poster

Sweetie, I don't see " the big deal" in this situation. I have more debt than your bf/fiance and my gf is very much aware. I tell you, only a truly honest and secured guy would be this open to you, OR maybe because I get gbeses too.