the cause of this hatred was rooted due to the fact that the family of my wife to be were illegaly residing on the extended plot belonging to my father which he inherited from my late grandfather. My late grand father bought the plot measuring 1000 square feet from my wife to be's grandfather thru trade by barter sometime in 1937. D plot was divided into equal half by my grand pa. Allowing her family to remain in the other half pending when her grandpa will vacate d land. But as fate played its part Her grandpa died and his poor family continue to remain on d plot ever since and d illegal plot has now bin inherited by eldest brother as a tradition. Both side of the land had been fuly developed. Beside my father is rich and have more plot of else where. Its a known fact that both her family and my family are related by kinship i mean we are of one clan. My father appear not to be bothered but deep inside he hate her family i dont realy know why? He has bin gradualy encroaching on the plot her family staying by demolishing the barrier wall to construct more room. And he also limit d structure they can build on d plot causin so much resentment from her mother. the plot her family are staying is now reduced to quater of the original plot. Should i go ahead and marry the girl or side with my father. i badly want my father to forgive and forget life is to short to be accumulating irrelevant worldy thing. Also my father is educated and civilized enof to know peace and generousity matter in a community. I need your advice pls.

Bros no offence. But this your write up is kinda difficult to read. Try space am abeg.

Follow ur heart.

dont tell ur dad 2 4give and 4get rather join him and fight 4 ur right. if ur dad passes on those people will take over the entire plot and u will be left with nothing. be a man

lofty900:
dont tell ur dad 2 4give and 4get rather join him and fight 4 ur right. if ur dad passes on those people will take over the entire plot and u will be left with nothing. be a man

my family are far more powerful than her's. Beside i think the almost 3 other large plot of land including a large farmland is enof to thank God. Her family have only one farmland. I dont think that should bother us.

Zehner:
Bros no offence. But this your write up is kinda difficult to read. Try space am abeg.

sorry i am seen space on my side.

excellentmomma:
Follow ur heart.

Follow ur head.

Ur heart will only put u and everybody else into more confusion.

yomi007k:

Follow ur head.

Ur heart will only put u and everybody else into more confusion.

seconded

I'm kinda confused o, you are allowed to marry your kin?

Have a man to man, father and son conversation with ur dad, its all childish and vanity to drag land, help him to see himself as a life line of dat family n a great man he would be if he let go off d land..... Truth is dat, all dis land issue pple are dragging I don't av power for it I rada let u av it den I will b back to buy it from u with proper documentation...

lofty900:
dont tell ur dad 2 4give and 4get rather join him and fight 4 ur right. if ur dad passes on those people will take over the entire plot and u will be left with nothing. be a man

Show me where dis ur advice av yielded positive result I.e peace and stability ?? I hate aggressiveness and aggressive pple.. Land dat u wud still b buried underneath it, I can't b dat stupid!

yomi007k:

Follow ur head.

Ur heart will only put u and everybody else into more confusion.

Literally take off ur heart let's c if ur head will function at all... D both of dem are relevant.. For the Heart, keep the issue of marrying pending so dat d issue in the head is firstly resolved peacefully, dat way the heart n d head works simultaneously....

OnyeEgo1:


Literally take off ur heart let's c if ur head will function at all... D both of dem are relevant.. For the Heart, keep the issue of marrying pending so dat d issue in the head is firstly resolved peacefully, dat way the heart n d head works simultaneously....

Is that not "using ones head"?

freecocoa:
I'm kinda confused o, you are allowed to marry your kin?

its not wrong to marry from your kinsmen. I am considering it for convenience cuz am too emotionaly stressed to engage a lady from other ethnic group. Thank u.

yomi007k:

Is that not "using ones head"?

From ur write up ur idea of using d head was to trash out the heart ryt??

OnyeEgo1:


Literally take off ur heart let's c if ur head will function at all... D both of dem are relevant.. For the Heart, keep the issue of marrying pending so dat d issue in the head is firstly resolved peacefully, dat way the heart n d head works simultaneously....

i will use my head first to get to what went wrong. Then i will use it to decide what is right. If my heart agree with my head i follow it. That mean head come first.

Chitumu:
its not wrong to marry from your kinsmen. I am considering it for convenience cuz am too emotionaly stressed to engage a lady from other ethnic group. Thank u.

Hia, is everyone from your ethnic group your kinsman?

freecocoa:
Hia, is everyone from your ethnic group your kinsman?

i didnt get u.

Chitumu:
i didnt get u.

You are igbo I presume, I'm asking if every igbo person is your kinsman.

OnyeEgo1:


From ur write up ur idea of using d head was to trash out the heart ryt??

Yes.

And its d same thing u wrote.
Its just dat u said u wud add d heart later on and that move will be disastrous.

Emotions kill. Go figure.

freecocoa:
You are igbo I presume, I'm asking if every igbo person is your kinsman.

no am not am from kebbi. I am fulani

Chitumu:
no am not am from kebbi. I am fulani

Oh! My bad then, so every fulani person is your kinsman then?

freecocoa:
Oh! My bad then, so every fulani person is your kinsman then?

yeah but u will need to go and study the difference between kinsmen and ethnic group pls.

Chitumu:
yeah but u will need to go and study the difference between kinsmen and ethnic group pls.

Oh!really?


Why not just tell me instead?

Chitumu:
yeah but u will need to go and study the difference between kinsmen and ethnic group pls.

Freecocoa don hear land she assume say na Igbo matter already... Not only her sha, me sef.. Yeye stereotype

By the way, Chitumu, I used to think the Fulani tribe don't fight over land or something like that? More like there's a general believe you don't fight for land since you came to this world and met it and world leave the world without taking it with you?..

Anyways, boss your kinswomen, do they marry outside your tribe? I've always thought of marrying a Fulani girl after an encounter with one back in school.. Sorry to digress.

Nitefury:


Freecocoa don hear land she assume say na Igbo matter already... Not only her sha, me sef.. Yeye stereotype

By the way, Chitumu, I used to think the Fulani tribe don't fight over land or something like that? More like there's a general believe you don't fight for land since you came to this world and met it and world leave the world without taking it with you?..

Anyways, boss your kinswomen, do they marry outside your tribe? I've always thought of marrying a Fulani girl after an encounter with one back in school.. Sorry to digress.

its true fulani dont fight over land. I just dont understand my own dad's case. Naturaly a fulani has d urge to protect his territory from intruder or tresspasser even if its his kinsmen. I think my own dad case is greed or megalomania. As for ur question on fulani marryin outside her tribe. Ofcourse they do. We already have it up north. Hausa-fulani, nupe-fulani, yoruba-fulani, tiv-fulani etc but i am sory to tell u it will be hard marryin a fulani girl unless u live with them for very long period just to gain their trust. Generaly fulani dont approve unfriendly tribe. Thats why its difficult or impossible for igbos to get fulani wife. Be very friendy tolerant and ready to intergrate urself in their culture. U will be feeling like a king afterward when u finaly get the girl.

yomi007k:

Yes.

And its d same thing u wrote.
Its just dat u said u wud add d heart later on and that move will be disastrous.

Emotions kill. Go figure.

Wot ever rocks ur boat..... Wow!, congratulation u are d first human who lives without emotions dat I av ever come across.... Nairaland!!!!!

I remember late 90's my dad (the eldest son) and one of his brothers was having land scuffle. Grandpa was already late. My uncle encroached my dad's portion when he was building. My dad only wanted to prove to him that he was wrong, that he (my uncle) should have consulted him before using a part of his plot. Note that my dad's building was already completed, but that portion was my dad's and even if it is empty forever doesn't give him the right to build on it! That was my father's argument! Shikena.

But forwia! Uncle will not agree and because he was wealthier, he gained more favor from kins men. Hehehe.

Land matter. Serious matter for my people o.


Well, the youngest son of the family never puts mouth in the matter, he doesn't even attend land meetings. One day, he called my own brother and told that he has never seen anybody that got enough money to build a house but where to build it becomes a problem! And yes, its true.

Thank God, Dad and bro later reconciled. Let it go.

OP, I like your position in this issue. Our stay on earth is temporary. If you can, let it go.

flyca:
I remember late 90's my dad (the eldest son) and one of his brothers was having land scuffle. Grandpa was already late. My uncle encroached my dad's portion when he was building. My dad only wanted to prove to him that he was wrong, that he (my uncle) should have consulted him before using a part of his plot. Note that my dad's building was already completed, but that portion was my dad's and even if it is empty forever doesn't give him the right to build on it! That was my father's argument! Shikena.

But forwia! Uncle will not agree and because he was wealthier, he gained more favor from kins men. Hehehe.

Land matter. Serious matter for my people o.


Well, the youngest son of the family never puts mouth in the matter, he doesn't even attend land meetings. One day, he called my own brother and told that he has never seen anybody that got enough money to build a house but where to build it becomes a problem! And yes, its true.

Thank God, Dad and bro later reconciled. Let it go.

OP, I like your position in this issue. Our stay on earth is temporary. If you can, let it go.

yes o. These wealthy people sef dem think they are doin a favour to their children or future descendant by being greedy. What if suddenly d other family member whome u hate become richer and started hating ur own family, kid and future descentant? I advise rich kinsmen or clan member to invest in peace, love and generousity for d sake of their family, children and future descendant instead of pride.

Chitumu:
its true fulani dont fight over land. I just dont understand my own dad's case. Naturally a fulani has d urge to protect his territory from intruder or tresspasser even if its his kinsmen. I think my own dad case is greed or megalomania. As for ur question on fulani marryin outside her tribe. Ofcourse they do. We already have it up north. Hausa-fulani, nupe-fulani, yoruba-fulani, tiv-fulani etc but i am sory to tell u it will be hard marryin a fulani girl unless u live with them for very long period just to gain their trust. Generaly fulani dont approve unfriendly tribe. Thats why its difficult or impossible for igbos to get fulani wife. Be very friendy tolerant and ready to intergrate urself in their culture. U will be feeling like a king afterward when u finaly get the girl.

You're right, Fulanis are Very territorial. Perhaps there's something dad isn't telling you. The whole ish might not even be related to land. I do hope you resolve the issue though and come,to a compromise with her family.

I'm Yoruba, that's soothing. But the fear of religion clashing still arises. I'm a Christian

About gaining trust, seems I have to relocate to Kebbi or Katsina state preferably. Reports coming from there suggest they have the prettiest Fulani girls..

OnyeEgo1:


Wot ever rocks ur boat..... Wow!, congratulation u are d first human who lives without emotions dat I av ever come across.... Nairaland!!!!!

Bla bla bla

Nitefury:


You're right, Fulanis are Very territorial. Perhaps there's something dad isn't telling you. The whole ish might not even be related to land. I do hope you resolve the issue though and come,to a compromise with her family.

I'm Yoruba, that's soothing. But the fear of religion clashing still arises. I'm a Christian

About gaining trust, seems I have to relocated to Kebbi or Katsina state preferably. Reports coming from there suggest they have the prettiest Fulani girls..

there are fulani Christians, I've met quite a few of them