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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? (7518 Views)
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Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by cococandy(f): 10:37pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
donephi: Yea some people are particularly traditional. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by cococandy(f): 10:39pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
freecocoa:Probably for the best I guess. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by donephi(m): 10:40pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
MizMyColi: Am sure you've not seen a man of your dream and u re so much into who does not see anything wrong in u placing a demand on him as regards ur confidence to let him knw the butterflies down there . He will rather cherish u more for bringing his attention to it. This is a civilised generation where airing ur views as a lady is no longer over stepping your boundaries. What happens to "what a man can do, a woman can do better", "equality"? My dear you are entitled to your opinion but you shouldn't see anything wrong with that cos is not wrong |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by freecocoa(f): 10:42pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
cococandy:Definitely for the best for me. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by cococandy(f): 10:44pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
if the woman ever does, then that's because she sees him as not MAN enough and wants to carry his load for him. I beg to disagree with this @ mizmycoli. If she didn't think him man enough, she wouldn't want to marry him. In fact she thinks he's manly enough that she doesn't want to wait and watch him to slip away. A lady who does that must be seeing something very manly in the man that she's wiling to defy centuries-old tradition to make him hers. And we all know how hard going against tradition can be. I'd be flattered out of my boots if I was the dude 3 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by donephi(m): 10:46pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
cococandy:Traditional? And his traditional mentality is only on this? How come he has gone past tradition as regards his mode of dressing, shelter but this? NB; Men who see this as tradition are very POSSESIVE. Your opinion nor feelings are not valid in his life, you are only there to ans and not question his orders. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by cococandy(f): 10:54pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
donephi: Things change one step at a time. I wouldn't consider a man who holds onto such tradition of proposal as very possessive or inconsiderate about the lady's feelings. Why? Because it is still a very wide spread tradition in many parts of the world. You can't really call him a control freak for still holding onto traditions that happen around him everyday with few if any exceptions. Where's he to get the idea that it's actually okay if he hasn't seen people do it without dying of emasculation? But with time, as it happens with many things, it will become more common place and many of them will not find it odd or emasculating that the lady proposes. Then you can judge him if you want 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by donephi(m): 11:06pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
cococandy: This happens everyday if u must knw, it must not be verbally, ladies propose to guy by their actions this days, which is widely known by u and me. Is not so conspicuous Becos it's not verbal but is very pronounced by actions. Accept this change after all we are in the era of change. Change with it |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by cococandy(f): 11:11pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
donephi: Accept change? Hello meet the president of the club. I'm only asking that you don't judge those who aren't flowing as fast as others too harshly. I know ladies propose subtly all the time. But Subtle proposal and the direct one aren't exactly the same. It will take some time to transition into that seamlessly. 1 Like |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by donephi(m): 11:13pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
cococandy: |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by pickabeau1: 11:25pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
freecocoa: I think it resonates with a lot of what you say about women having a more direct input in relationship directions |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by freecocoa(f): 11:29pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Alright. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by raumdeuter: 11:54pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
What a man can do A woman can do I think all the professed modern women on Nairaland should be able to do this easily. buy ring get on one knee and propose. Dont you think allowing men only to do this is another way of subjugating women and denying them their rights 2 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by tohpahz(f): 11:54pm On Aug 21, 2015 |
Hnmmmm.. Personally I can propose to a guy.(subtly ) i don't hv to buy the ring and do a surprise waheva for it. It's just by dropping hints, and the guy had bera pick up on them. .. i see Nothing big in it.. But traditionally we are used to the fact that a guy must be the one to propose. I agree partially with d part that said something abt the guy bin ready before he proposes. Well it depends on ur understanding of the guy... he might not be bold enough so u gotta lead him on as the lady. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by donephi(m): 12:11am On Aug 22, 2015 |
tohpahz: Good you know and also adhere #teamequality |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by UjSizzle(f): 7:41am On Aug 22, 2015 |
Nah. If a guy wants to get married, he's got to pop the question. If he's dragging there are subtle ways to get him moving. If he doesn't understand subtlety, there are more in-your-face options I do know some men don't like women proposing to them, and I haven't seen who likes it around here.
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Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by jaybee3(m): 7:52am On Aug 22, 2015 |
UjSizzle: I like it and it's my style There you go, that's an invitation already! |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by edwife(f): 8:39am On Aug 22, 2015 |
freecocoa: You didn't disappoint,you are among the few i believe whenever i read something from you,especially of this nature. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Kimoni: 8:51am On Aug 22, 2015 |
There's something weird about this post Pick. I seem to agree with everything that has been said even though it's full of contradictory opinions. So I seem to be everywhere and no where Personally, will I propose to a man? - No way! I make several sacrifices as a woman, so I must also enjoy the perks that come with it Will I frown at people who do it? Not really, But then like the guy said, it could be an indication of a bigger problem if a woman gets to that stage. Relationship is all about communication right? So both guys ideally should have communicated their goals and timelines to each other and if the timeline comes, it doesn't happen, and there is no feedback as to why I will be more interested in knowing why rather than popping the question myself. But then it could also mean the guy wants to take a backseat in the marriage but if the woman is ready to take up his traditional role, then she should take the floor already. There is every possibility that the same trend will continue in marriage, so she had better brace up for it and not resort to calling him names after. @ raumdeuter - I agree totally with your post. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by freecocoa(f): 10:05am On Aug 22, 2015 |
edwife:Lol, I'm glad I can deliver. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by crackhaus: 11:11am On Aug 22, 2015 |
As far as the Nigerian system of marriage is concerned, it isn't quite logical for the woman to propose - it could very work in other places where men are not required to make traditional gestures to the intending wife's family. I mean, so after she proposes, what happens next? Isn't it the man that still gets to spend hundreds of thousands (even millions buying tubers of yams and drinks that her ancestors don't need? Let's be honest, the dynamics doesn't just work with the way we go about our marriages in Nigeria. This does not mean that any woman who feels the need to propose shouldn't go for it, she just needs to understand that she backs her man into a tight corner by so-doing...then there's also the fact that women don't handle rejection as good as men do. A NO from that man will send her into depression and shock faster than 5000volts of lightning will do - and God help that man if she's someone like Sambarry, she will even end up taking the man's hair to her babalawo to make sure he never gets married to anyone else. 4 Likes |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Godpikin4: 11:15am On Aug 22, 2015 |
Trouble maker |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by pickabeau1: 12:10pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
Kimoni I am just wondering why you think there are inconsistencies We are equal Man can propose Women should too... Crackhaus...superb post the priest angle is funny Na picture them go use do d jazz |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by crackhaus: 12:25pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
pickabeau1:Yes o, plus picture sef. A Nigerian woman proposes and you refuse...omo na to sleep with one eye open that night. |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by crackhaus: 12:26pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
Godpikin4:Reveal yourself |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Godpikin4: 2:07pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
crackhaus: Godpikin |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Tgirl4real(f): 2:56pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
By proposing are we referring to starting a marriage discussion? Cos I don't get how this will play out o. Will the girl walk up to the guys and ask "darl, you are all I dream of in a man will you marry me?" Kneels bent with ring in one hand. Hehehehe |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Kimoni: 3:02pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
Tgirl4real: This is proposal naa |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Kimoni: 3:03pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
pickabeau1: Not inconsistencies...contrary opinions. Some for, some against |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by edwife(f): 4:45pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
crackhaus: Today is her owambe day,waiting sha.... |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by pickabeau1: 4:57pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
Re: Should A Woman Propose To A Man...thoughts? by Nobody: 5:54pm On Aug 22, 2015 |
She should if she thinks she would lose the man or she thinks she's the best wife the man could ever get and she loves him so much she doesn't want him to miss a good thing. . Meanwhile, she better have bought the engagement ring. Because you can't propose without an engagement ring, right? |
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