chinani Niger wives is more than a group of oyinbo women talking big.
My mother was also a Niger wife.
they know why they formed themselves.
They can anyway afford to talk big because they do a lot to help themselevs.
They are a Nation wide group and have been going strong for years,
Call it Help to selfhelp.

Chinani, I don't get you ?

What d'u mean by "talking big"? Please answer and then we'll continue from there. Thanks

Radiant:

About Nigerwives, I can tell you that only 20-30% of their marriages still stand today. The rest are history.

Quite frankly, I would like to know how you arrived at the 20-30% figure. Did you conduct a demographic survey, or a census of the number of marriages contracted between Nigerians and foreigners, in order to arrive at this figure?

The truth is, yes, some of those marriages did not work out, while others did. But am not sure that the percentage of those that worked out is as little as 20 to 30%, like you claim.

Marriages break up all the time, even among people from the same village, district, clan or tribe. Do people believe, that inter-tribal or inter-cultural differences are so strong, that they cannot be surmounted and the couple involved cannot go ahead to have happy marriages, despite their differences?

I feel that while some people are busy relishing their inter-tribal differences and using their diversity to form bonds of strength, others are too busy seeing their inter-tribal differences as a source of potential conflict. And because they are too weak to confront, address and conquer these differences, they shy away from such relationships, and run around preaching the gospel of "marry within your clan."

niger wifes! interesting! talking big! can anyone smell the eguwsi soup rite here!

well once again im proudly

black
&
Nigerian!

dnt cut it! leave it raw! cant get any bigger my friend

laudate:

Quite frankly, I would like to know how you arrived at the 20-30% figure. Did you conduct a demographic survey, or a census of the number of marriages contracted between Nigerians and foreigners, in order to arrive at this figure?

I didn't do any census. I just gave a rough estimate. If you know the Niger wives, you'll never advice any foreigner to marry Nigerian men.
Half of the marriages are broken and majority of those still "together" are better off broken.Though a few of them are still okay.

_{I hope this doesn't cause more arguements and the rest of the 'ish}

Radiant:

I didn't do any census. I just gave a rough estimate. If you know the Niger wives, you'll never advice any foreigner to marry Nigerian men.
Half of the marriages are broken and majority of those still "together" are better off broken. Though a few of them are still okay.

_{I hope this doesn't cause more arguements and the rest of the 'ish}

Hmmn, some of these generalisations are just too way off the mark. You claim that "If you know the Niger wives, you'll never advice any foreigner to marry Nigerian men". Please be a bit more specific. This is just a wide, sweeping statement. Did the Niger wives make these claims? Several mixed Nigerian-expatriate marriages exist and just like any other Naija-to-Naija  marriages, they too have their ups and downs. Naija-to-Naija marriages break up as well, so what ?? Is that so strange? So why should the break-up of a Nigerian-expatriate couple now be an issue? Quite a number of these marriages have lasted. The late Tai Solarin was married to a British woman named Sheila, for over 30 years. They lived in Nigeria until he died. The lady is still in Naija, and quite frankly they had one of the best marriages that I know.

Let me give a few examples of other such marriages:

Professor Donatus Nwoga, erudite scholar and writer taught English for many years at the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. His Caucasian wife lived with him on campus and showered her husband with support and affection as he climbed the career ladder. Though she is not a Nigerian, she ensured that her children were well schooled in the Igbo culture and language. They were married for many years, until they were separated by death.

Peter Olisaeloka Okocha has an African-American wife, Michelle. Peter, who sits atop Chrismatel Holdings and Sadiq Petroleum, got married to Michelle an American nurse over 17 years ago, and she has been a tower of support in his quest for entrepreneurial excellence. With her watchful eyes and quiet guidance, Peter Eloka Okocha has established more than eight companies, which deal in products ranging from oil to pharmaceuticals. He is the largest majority shareholder in African Petroleum Plc. Their birthdays fall on the same date & they both live in Ikoyi, Lagos.

Professor Aliu Babatunde Fafunwa the former Minister of Education in Nigeria also has an American wife named Doris, and they have been together form more than 34 years. Their daughter Sheri, is a Fulbright scholar married to Okey Ndibe, an accomplished writer from the east.

Chief Benedict Mba, an Onitsha high chief got married over 30 years ago, but he did not pick a wife from the East. Neither did he go to the West. Instead, he chose to marry a white Australian, Prof. Nina Mba. She was so fascinated by the Igbo culture that she wrote her Ph.D dissertation on the contemporary Igbo woman in the twentieth century. Sadly, the lady passed away a few years back, after living in Nigeria for more than thirty years. Photographs used for her funeral programme showed her adorned in the full regalia of an Igbo female chief, complete with the huge ivory bangles and beads, identical to those worn by titled women in the Otu Odu society. She is still sorely missed by her children especially Nnenna her daughter, who graduated from University of Lagos Medical College in Idi-Araba, a few years back

Senator Martin Agbaso an Igbo chief from Imo state is the former Special Adviser to the President on Ecology Matters. He is married to an African-American woman named Robin, and they both live in an expansive house in Owerri. They have been married for over fifteen years.

Prof. Paul Okonkwo who is the Head of the Pharmocology & Therapeutics Department, of the University of Nigeria Teaching Hospital, Enugu has been married to his American wife who teaches General African Studies at the same university, for more than 35 years. Their third daughter, is the astute Harvard-trained graduate named Ndidi Okonkwo Nwuneli who runs a non-governmental organization known as LEAP which stands for Leadership Effectiveness, Accountability and Professionalism. Like all her four siblings, she was born in Enugu in South-eastern Nigeria.

Another distinguished Igbo son who married outside the shores of Nigeria is Dr. Emmanuel Umez-Eronini, the traditional ruler of Awo-Mbieri community in Imo State. In 1969, he married a Welsh woman, Elspeth Anne Jones, a medical doctor born in Camarthen, Dyfed, UK. The couple came down to Nigeria in 1970 after the Biafran war. On arrival, they set up the Umezuruike hospital in Owerri, to offer medical services to the populace. Dr. Elspeth Umez-Eronini was quite popular within the local community. She spent over 20 years in Owerri before relocating to the UK. During her stay in Nigeria, she learnt Igbo and was conferred with the traditional title ‘Lolo’. She passed away in Cardiff on 28 November 2001. Elspeth Anne Umez-Eronini has been described as an unrivalled mother, sister, daughter and wife, who was known & loved by many.

Quite frankly, if a lot of these expatriate women are still in their marriages to Nigerian men, no-one has the right to speak for them or to claim that majority of those still "together" are better off broken. Those who are in such marriages, know why they are still in it. And if it wasn't working for them, they would have opted out a long time ago.

True love knows no barrier.

Laudate, We all thank God for google

Believe me,  Professional qualifications and long years in "marriage" don't mean they're happily married! 70% break up!
I know prof. Okonkwo married to Rina. When I left Nigeria in 2000, that man was better off a pig than a responsible man. He was a heavy womanizer who covered his rotten acts with his 'clown' like attitude in public. He always pretended to be very funny and people couldn't really tell what went on in his home.

Rina had no choice than stick with him cause probably she didn't have a choice and also for the sake of the kids.

Most of these women are in Nigeria because of their kids not even because of the man.Those of them who are still in Nigeria are not happy but because they've found themselves in circumstances they can't help or don't have courage to speak up to avoid physical abuse, they decide to remain a slave for the sake of the kids.

There's a lecturer in Ibadan,(won't mention her name) she's still living in her husband's house but trust me, you don't want to hear the story behind the Angelic face.You don't want to see the scars underneath. And many more. I could list many many broken marriages if it has to come to that.


Shame on Nigerian Men who lack a huge sense of responsibility. Nonsense!!!

@Radiant
You are not sounding radiant today o

I quite agree that many Nigerian men are failures and would have been better off gay as they don't know how to take care of their wives. Poor women, although many of them put themselves in the marriage they find themselves in. They were not driven by common sense but by desires. You cannot say you married a womanizer and you would say u did not know before you were married. You can't say you married a drunkard and you would say you did not know he was a drunkard before you married him. You can't say you married a stingy man and you would say you did not know before you married him. Unless if you were blind to reason and allowed only a short courtship period before marriage or got pregnant before marriage which is mostly the case.

Don, How now? Long time!

Most of the weddings and child bearing took/take place abroad. These men pretend to be Angels before the girl's family. When they get to Nigeria, it's a complete nightmare.

The marriages are very different when they're abroad but when they get back to the Giant of Africa, the men become real giants 

Yep. How u dey?

I hope I don't turn out that way o. I dislike irresponsible men who do not know their obligations.

[b][/bwat][color=#770077][/color][flash=200,200][/flash][quote][/quote]u know intertribal relationship haz its advantages and disadvantages.it all depends on individual.whicheva u can handle

Hmmm, "talking big" seemed to bother people. To answer questions:

@Radiant
What I meant by "talking big" was "praising themselves" or should I say "bragging"? Don't get me wrong I think everyone should be proud of him or herself but I don't think it's more of an accomplishment to be a 'white' woman married to a Nigerian man than a Nigerian woman married to a Nigerian man.

@Mamaput
Well good for them. Let them help themselves. It has nothing to do with me anyhow. Maybe I'll go be a Rhine Wife oneday.

chinani:

@Radiant
What I meant by "talking big" was "praising themselves" or should I say "bragging"? Don't get me wrong I think everyone should be proud of him or herself but I don't think it's more of an accomplishment to be a 'white' woman married to a Nigerian man than a Nigerian woman married to a Nigerian man.

I really wish they're proud to be married to Nigerian men or see it as a great accomplishment, if you know what I mean.

_{Bragging my cute bum}

Nigerians here have their Meetings/ Clubs they have their aims and their goals.
But if it is White women doing it in Nigeria , then its white women talking big.
And by the way its not only white women. There are many black women there to from the Usa etc etc.
They have their aims and their goals and help women in need.
Many of them left everything behind them many were disowned. The Nigerian Women do not accept them and they only have themselves.
The club has achived alot abd can afford to brag all day long.
They are more than a bunch of house wives.
They come from all works of life from DR DR to DR Prof,down to stay home mums.

yea oo!

Mamaput thank you very much.

I can't understand this chinani girl saying they "talk big". That's the worst thing these niger wives will need to hear.

Ignorance is a curse!

Niger wives simply means women from any country aside Nigeria who are married to Nigerian men.

One more thing
Even other "whites" and their Embasy look down on them as second class "Whites"

@Mamaput & Radiant

I don't know what y'all are mad about but I certainly won't take that away from you.

Again, I see "talking big" (the phrase) is the problem. Well read what I wrote w/o the phrase since it was misconstrued.

I meant "oyinbo" as "foreigner" (Igbo loan word) not "white". If you think that I was flippant about the organization b/c I thought it was a "white's only" organization then you were so, so, so wrong. Don't know why anyone would think that about me.

I thought it was clear from my previous post that it's not crucial (in my opinoin one way or the other) as far as I'm concerned. Who's denouncing them here? *let's look around* If y'all want to soap box I won't take it away from you but don't call my name ok?

Radiant, please explain to this "chinani girl" her ignorance. I'm very interested to learn. Who said they or anyone else should not be "proud"? Perhaps you shall read my words again. Since my 2nd post (the one you asked for for clarity) is so plainly written, I will not paraphrase. If you misunderstand again, please ask. It's really impolite to call me names. And if you knew that I already knew that: Niger wives simply means women from any country aside Nigeria who are married to Nigerian men then you might be embarrassed to have implied that I am ignorant. Really, it's not classy behavior and I don't appreciate it as nothing has transpired here to warrant the behavior.

Mamaput, you are repeating things I already know but that's fine I suppose. Again, I don't understand why you are mad or offended or whatever; you think I'm ignorant of the organization I am not. I said "good" to (self-) help and that maybe I'll be a Rhine Wife one day. You have sentimental view (or presentation) of the organization but again it's nothing to quarrel over. I'm sorry if I don't take the group as seriously as you take it, but I'm well aware of the facts & they don't change me mind.

Life goes on.

Are Chinese people part of the tribe stuff too?

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#000099][/color]

white people hate us black :Dmen hoha
especially, german,croatia,usa,etc.
so i wonder how they can profess to love a black man

peba:

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#000099][/color]

white people hate us black :Dmen hoha
especially, german,croatia,usa,etc.
so i wonder how they can profess to love a black man

It is the Big Black Dick they love not the man.

Chinani, your ignorance lies below

chinani:

@Radiant
What I meant by "talking big" was "praising themselves" or should I say "bragging"? Don't get me wrong I think everyone should be proud of him or herself but I don't think it's more of an accomplishment to be a 'white' woman married to a Nigerian man than a Nigerian woman married to a Nigerian man.

@Radiant
You obviously have some issues that I can not address.

However what I can do is tell you that you quoted me doing 3 things (a) Explaining what I meant by "talking big" (which like other phrases can have multiple meanings) in the context & (b) saying that everyone on God's Earth should be proud of themselves and (c) stating that a white woman marrying a black man is not more of an accomplishment than a black woman marrying a black man or a black woman marrying a white man.

If you take issue with (a), (b), or (c) then state it plainly.

Don't hide behind words like 'ignorance'; tell me what you really think.

As of today, you've only told me that you know how to give insults without cause and misconstrue through hasty reading. That is such a trite condition, please, be original.

Chinani, I ain't fake girl.

I said "I really hope they're proud" to be married to Nigerian Men because majority of them are not.

Talking about them "bragging" and "praising themselves", in what sense d'u mean that isn't clear to me?

Bragging about how the men beat them? Or how they maltreat them? Or how they ground them? Or how the men solely depend on the women to feed their asses and clothe them? Or is it the marital unfaithfulness?

Can you please tell me what they brag about?

They might see it as an accomplishment to leave their countries and come and settle in Africa where most foreigners especially whites despise. That I can see as an accomplishment but not marrying Nigerian Men. Duhhhh!

Sorry if you felt insulted.

@nostrings,
hey girlfriend.There's absolutely nothing wrong in having an inter-tribal relationship.All u need do is be sure of what u are into.So that u don't get ur fingers burnt.You sure know what am talking about.

As for your mum,make her see reasons why this is good for you.She's just acting like any other mother out there will do-being protective.Persistence with humility is all you need to apply her and you'll av ur way.

Wish you the best.

Radiant, an unfaithful man is an unfaithful man, it doesn't matter if he is married to a foreigner or a Nigerian. Unlike you, who has seen only unhappily married Naija-expatriate couples, I have seen several happily married Naija-expatriate couples.

And I do not know why you have chosen to condemn all Naija-expatriate couples as unhappy, (just because you listened to some Niger wives complaint), or just because a few unhappy expatriate wives chose to air their feelings, in a private gathering. I do not thrive on hearsay or gossip, I state what I know & what I have seen.

Many Naija women are married to Naija men who are philanderers. Yet, very few of them leave their men, because of this habit. Others are married to Naija men who stomp on them. The Naija women complain, moan and gossip about their husband's bad habits all the time. Yet, many of these Naija women, stay in such marriages. Who uses a barometer to help them check if their marriages are working or not? Who decides for them, whether to leave or stay? 

Yet, if a foreign woman is married to a Naija man who is a philanderer, someone up here concludes that such marriage is a bad one, and that the number of years they have spent together, counts for nothing. If there wasn't something that foreign woman was enjoying in her marriage, she would have left, kids or no kids.

Interestingly, the kids of many of these Naija-expatriate couples whose marriages have lasted for such a long time, are all grown-up. Yet, these foreign women are still with their husbands in Naija, why? Is it out of a sense of masochism? I think not. Human endurance has a limit. They would have left, if there was nothing left of their marriages. It is sad to see such pessimism in print, with figures such as '70% of such marriages are unhappy' in your own words, with little truth left to back it up.

Take Sheila Solarin, the wife of the late Tai Solarin for instance. Was her husband a philanderer, too? Did he stomp on her, too?

It doesn't matter if it is a Naija-expatriate marriage, or a Naija-Naija marriage. All marriages have their own problems. And it is how you solve those problems, that counts.

Laudate, why did it take you a fortune to reply?

Neway, when you have point, then we can talk. For now, goodbye!

Radiant:

Laudate, why did it take you a fortune to reply?

Neway, when you have point, then we can talk. For now, goodbye!

Read my previous post, again. The points are there in black & white.

So, please kindly free your mind.

Laudate, what's your point?

Did I condemn all the marriages?

Did I say they only stay 'cause of the kids?

You only chose to emphasize on these two huh?

You said in one of your posts that "if these women can make their marriages work, then why can't Nigerian women married to Nigerian men make their own work"? Correct! And that's where I came in to say that only 'bout 20-30% of the marriges work out.

Now what the fuss What's your annoyance or objection?

@Radiant
I meant "bragging" in terms of excessive pride which I dislike in anyone. I didn't mean bragging about negative things. Let me say that I'm not calling "all" of any group of people prideful or braggers.

***This thread has strayed off topic (so have I ). How is it that everything gets to be about white people on nL?

chinani:

How is it that everything gets to be about white people on nL?

Mentacide maybe?

Radiant:

Talking about them "bragging" and "praising themselves", in what sense d'u mean that isn't clear to me?

Bragging about how the men beat them? Or how they maltreat them? Or how they ground them? Or how the men solely depend on the women to feed their asses and clothe them? Or is it the marital unfaithfulness?

Can you please tell me what they brag about?

Chinani I was asking you the above questions. I wanted to know if it was the above they brag about or other things?

I didn't say that's what you said.

Neway, takia