refreshrate:


The most basic of expectations he should handle with wisdom or what are you advising?

OP tell your guy that since she doesnt cook theres really no point leaving chop money in the house again, simple.
Buka yapa for town na. The way it is sef she no go sabi cook.

Then advice a caveat to her mother so shes aware so that when it gets to that point he wont be held liable. What nonsense its people like this that allow women misbehave. In fact the guy should tell her they are going to visit her mum, when they get there leave her and go tell her youll send her stuff over later.

Youre not divorcing her...yet, just dropping her off.
Tomorrow have her stuff sent over.

Then from there renegotiation can begin on her coming back.

Since he cant talk to her and she'll listen over such a basic thing as this, how do you now get her to do even the more difficult stuff?

Just see talk. I really wonder the kind of women these ones roll with.

So a woman you probably met in a city different from where her parents live, is the one you'll just tell "we are going to visit your parents" without knowing if her parents are even home, if she wants to even see them or if she's in the mood to even go out and she'll just enter the vehicle without asking questions? She must be a robot sha.

4stylz:


You think we are in America? If you are looking for does things you see in Hollywood movies, you can as well travel there and get married to an American

This is Africa; development nor dey reach that level, women must do the cooking over here

This is laughable.

GboyegaD:
There's nothing wrong with him cooking and all I will tell him is that a woman is handled with wisdom and not force. He should start involving her and stop nagging her into cooking. I am sure she will adjust.

May your wife do same thing to you.

Olalan:
Cooking is one of the core duty of a wife in marriages in all cultures and religion all over the world, so whatever the hubby does is just an assistance to his wife. The earlier the wife realises this the better for her.

nope...never...cooking is never a duty of a wife...where did you see that?? from all the Asian countries I've visited and lived with locals, cooking is done by whoever is available...it is a stoooooooopid African mentality that a woman should cook, clean and still work...what the hell?? in my family you arrange food as availability is... all my life my mum doesn't do the most cooking as my dad could do it, a private chef could...women are humans and not marital objects...nonsense

ammyluv2002:
They should both grow up.

when someone like you still reasons like a kid?

freecocoa:
Just see talk. I really wonder the kind of women these ones roll with.

So a woman you probably met in a city different from where her parents live, is the one you'll just tell "we are going to visit your parents" without knowing if her parents are even home, if she wants to even see them or if she's in the mood to even go out and she'll just enter the vehicle without asking questions? She must be a robot sha.

Those funnily annoying comments are the reason we somehow keep finding ourselves in Nairaland. ;DThis place will be dull without them.
Some things I read here is just hilarious. Seriously it's obvious the kind of women they roll with. Quite frankly, they carefully select them. That's their definition of wife material. If the woman was a doctor who has to be at work the next day, she would not follow the man to her mums and then wait for renegotiation. With Nairaland who needs comedy.

Physika:


Baba mi

The thing sef taya mi gan.

Cook? Unto wetin na? As pey emi je gege bi gbe'wu dani abi

Men behavin lyk boys... Hian

P.S: I know u will com chek out my comments... U b think say ah nor kno say u dey NL.. Kontinu

iranu rada rada. If she isn't alright, there is nothing bad in helping her. But everyday cooking ? Ko jor

odinese:


Why are u always commenting everywhere?
U gotta lot time to search for new topics.

I have my "followed board" so I gat notification when there is new topic

Jetjacky:
lol... agaraw u23 why you no tell me la?? aya throw party on top the matter

we will do that later

I am just here to say that she should simply go home to her parent. Thanks. Am counting on you bro.

JayJustus:



nope...never...cooking is never a duty of a wife...where did you see that?? from all the Asian countries I've visited and lived with locals, cooking is done by whoever is available...it is a stoooooooopid African mentality that a woman should cook, clean and still work...what the hell?? in my family you arrange food as availability is... all my life my mum doesn't do the most cooking as my dad could do it, a private chef could...women are humans and not marital objects...nonsense

that Africans don't practice what asians practice doesn't make Africans stupid, so Watch your words.

There is Nothing wrong with a man helping out when he's available

Read the op's write up and u will understand that the lady is taking advantage of the guy.

Am of the opinion that, A home is built by both sides not one side, the husband should not see kitchen as the lady's office, if you return home before your wife, take off your ties and make the meal, shikena!! it won't take any hair from your head or change your name or your position in the family

Bigcake:
when someone like you still reasons like a kid?

Ewww!

ebubey:
martins y did u bring my family issue to a public? u shuld learn how to mind ur biz...n 4 those of u insulting me OYO btw my husband loves to cook n his meals re far better... wat do you expect me to do? intimidate myself

help him you are supposed to be his help meet the last tym i checked
man hustle for money go still come back from work enter kill-chen(kitchen) you better make ur marriage work
stylisly work out of thread like benteke goal yesterday

martyns303:
One of my friend just got married four months ago and already there is fuss in his marriage. I have known both of the couple right from when their relationship was a hide and seek thing to when both families became involved, needless to say I know them very well and they are a perfect match. Let me start by introducing the guy, he used to be my roommate back in school, friends usually tease him calling him "100 yards husband material" for his attributes, this guy can keep the room sparkling clean all day and cooks better than some of our moms, not exaggerating.


He wedded his girlfriend just a month after her final exams, she is 24 (my friend is 27). 2 days ago he came to my place complaining that his wife seldom cooks and that he can count the number of times she had cooked. I told him maybe she is intimidated by his cooking, but he says he doesn't mind and just want her to do her wifey duties. I called his wife and asked her what's going on, and she said he had always cooked while they were dating and don't know why he his fussing now.


From what I can deduce, my guy is trying to be authoritative, he kept using the phrase "I am the man", he have the time as his job is flexible, so cooking shouldn't be a problem, at the same time the wife is failing to do her duties. I don't know how to advice them without taking sides. 


The wife is a registered NLer, so am sure she will see this and get the necessary advice.


Lalasticlala please help this young couple.

Ishilove do your thing. 

From your post, i could deduce that the wife is immature, very at that, she's may not listen to anyone at the moment, except someone who is advanced in age. She doesn't even know that "minor " issues like this could spilt a home.

Since your friend opened up to you, its already public knowledge,
My advice is that
1. The guy should be patient
2 your friend should pray, minor issues like this do degenerate into bigger ones
3. As he prays wisdom will come to him on how to handle the situation.
4. If she doesn't change before Dec 1, he should arrange a visit to her parents and from there call only her mum aside and explain everything to her in her wife's presence.
5. If he intends consulting anyone outside family, he should speak with his pastor's wife or someone very matured in marriage and age eg the couple that chaired their wedding ceremony.

Thank you

Btw, i had similar thoughts while preparing meal yesterday, anyway, I'll always try to be available to assist but My wife is a wise woman, full of grace and love and she knows what is proper, she's blessed and a blessing to many, amen.

A home is built by both sides not one side, howbeit, the husband should not see kitchen as the lady's office, if you return home before your wife, take off your ties and make the meal, shikena!! it won't take any hair from your head or change your name or your position in the family

misspicy:

Imagine the trash an african woman is spewing...later they will be the first to cry foul when the man starts acting up...

Op ur friend is totally right,he is the man of the house,cooking is not a major duty of a married man,he should better curtail this arrogant habit of his so called wife/burden before she switch their roles.


Cc cutehector

And when he decides to get a housegirl who can cook the best meal, she gradually loses her place in the home. These days, ladies see marriage as a trophy, once u get it its all over. I dont pity many.

Op are u in Nigeria or in a foreign country?ds question will help determine alot.If in Nigeria,Please tell d woman to respect herself and do d cooking.If later is d case,u've to be patient dn discuss wt or find someone dt"l talk sense into her cos from d look of things,she is influenced by a particular cultures Idea.I once had a relation d got married early this yr.Because she is a Us citizen and processed visa for d hubby,she told me is d man's duty to cook over tHere.I jokingly told her to respect herself except he wants d guy to dump her wn he finally settles there.Till today,she does d cooking.This is pure case of laziness.

So bad, guy just send her packing, I don't know what ladies are claiming nowadays, or go outside bring in one lady that is endowed to cook for u, if she (ur wife) shouts ignore her, do that for 4weeks, no one will tell her to cook for u, Guy u are a man not a woman.

emmyrichie:


May your wife do same thing to you.

It's not an issue to me if she does. Thanks all the same.

gabazin080:
with this it means the b*tch is hiding her true self until she has trapped u with marriage.


To me, marriage is overrated and needless.
Just my opinion, no bashing please

you are rite..if any lady tries this with me..i will make the marriage miserable for her.

ideology:
that Africans don't practice what asians practice doesn't make Africans stupid, so Watch your words.

There is Nothing wrong with a man helping out when he's available

Read the op's write up and u will understand that the lady is taking advantage of the guy.

Am of the opinion that, A home is built by both sides not one side, the husband should not see kitchen as the lady's office, if you return home before your wife, take off your ties and make the meal, shikena!! it won't take any hair from your head or change your name or your position in the family

Best response so far...

If this story is true, the lady is simply immature, taking advantage of the dude....and lazy.

espn:
you are rite..if any lady tries this with me..i will make the marriage miserable for her.

Oh..really...and you wont end up miserable too? Well, except you don't love the lady you marry sha.

GboyegaD:


It's not an issue to me if she does. Thanks all the same.

Your capacity is impressive sire....and your response sleek

There's nothing we won't see in this country again o. So after cooking as a bachelor,I'd still get married and continue the cooking? But my name is not baba basirat or baba put nau...
I cook very well as a man,but do not expect to continue that when I'm married. My reason for getting married is to have a companion and a helpmate and I need her help more in domestic matters;not financial. Leave me to do the hustle while you tend to the house;simple. I'm not saying a lady shouldn't work o. All I'm saying is that her first priority,should be looking after the house. Working and earning money should be secondary to her. People should learn how to state how they want their homes to be,before getting married. That way,all parties would know what is expected of them ahead of time.

she no sabi cook..shikinah

ebubey:
martins y did u bring my family issue to a public? u shuld learn how to mind ur biz...n 4 those of u insulting me OYO btw my husband loves to cook n his meals re far better... wat do you expect me to do? intimidate myself

this madam na arrogant one...
Martins no call ur name, u come mumu come expose urself.
ur marriage go get k-leg be that .

Nawao. Meanwhile today is my birthday.

RedCard1:
Only those Stingy Igbo men does the cooking in their marriages.

They do it for silly reasons of economising things unnecessarily.

I pity women that are married to typical Igbo men.

Guy if I insult or curse ur tribe now pple go say am immature mtcheEw anyway am jst coming back from mass make I ignore u

Omotayor123:
The woman needs an helping hand

gbam

Harmonyemerald:
They are both stubborn and trying to find their feet in the marriage. The man should get rid of the "am the man thoughts" and the woman should learn to be submissive. This is a simple thing, cook for ur hubby, if u need help, ask for help. Husband, complain less. People in marriage should be able to close their eyes and mouth and open their ear to hear the words of their spouse and the words of elders like me

I was enjoying the advice until a 20-yr old 100L undergraduate suddenly became an elder!

malaria:
Poster pls tell the man to take a little trip down to O' twn, by the time owerri girls rescue the man, no be pesin go tell d babe make she even begin cook 7 times a day. Mtsheewm married woman my big foot.

I reject malaria in my life...but I won't this malaria yansh. where are u in Owerri?

ebubey:
martins y did u bring my family issue to a public? u shuld learn how to mind ur biz...n 4 those of u insulting me OYO btw my husband loves to cook n his meals re far better... wat do you expect me to do? intimidate myself

I hardly comment but this is worth commenting to, Sister,according to what I read,ur husband says he doesn't care,he loves u just d way you are sister. See if it was another guy, he would be telling his friend his wife aint a good cook as he is....please for christ sake, don't let this little thing cause wahala for your home, Happy Married life jare!
_
By the way, me still dey look for a Gf.