Hmmmn, how come I just saw this thread. Any way, I’ll still post my own marriage …, Fantasy or anything u call it. Though I have read so many stories, I wish everybody well.

Well, I met my hubby in 2001, I was working in an I.T firm, he is an engineer (he has his own firm), so he comes in frequently to fix any fault in our systems.

He told me one day that he liked my way of attending to clients that he would really want us to have a chat. I gave in and we went to one of these eateries for a date. We talked about ourselves. He told me he would like to marry me that he has seen my physique in his dreams that I’ll be the one he’ll marry ….bla bla bla. I told him to allow me think about it first. About a year later, I did not give him any response, because I did not like him though. My parents were like asking me questions about him; I told them that he is mere friend.

Later, I gave him the chance since another person was not forth coming and I see that he likes me from his talks. Then I gave him my rules which he adhered to (no sex before marriage). During our courtship, he got the opportunity to travel out of the country. He suggested we get married so that we’ll sure know that we have commitment that he’ll still come back to me. I thought about it, and told him right away that if he’ll be traveling out, I’ll rather wish him well from the airport, so that I won’t be a disturbance to him even if he can’t come back to naija, then, I myself would be free to marry another person. But he opposed my suggestions claiming that I don’t love him.

In 2003, we went to the registry, and did a little bit of family get together (though just immediate family). That was when I started to think, how could I  have married  this guy. I moved into his family house, since he would travel out in some couple of months and it’s not advice able to get our own apartment. Things were still a bit rosy when he was around.

When he traveled out, I saw the other side of his family; they are of the opinion that wives are(like) slaves and should be left to do the whole house chores even if the younger siblings are around. I endured all forms of sufferings I saw, and I have to manage the small firm he left while traveling. I tried my best but since I’m not an engineer, most of his clients could not stand the engineers we hired, the firm had to close down.

I noticed that his long calls starts to reduce, he wont call me, anytime I call him, he would say …. Oh I can’t receive your call now, I’ll call u later. I’ll wait for his call, but he won’t call, until I call him. All this while, I have to move out of his parent’s house because of maltreatment, went back to my parents house.

All these continued until 2007, I had to send him a distress text message that instead of being a coward of not been able to tell me sincerely that he has forgotten about me, I’ve braced up and I can categorically say that from afar. Trust him, he termed it to another meaning, saying that it’s because I have another hubby, that’s y I sed a thing like that. He now said he wasn’t interested any longer that I should go to hell. Though, for a while I cried my eyes out, I’ve been living in illusion, I was devastated. I've waisted some years in my life with someone that i won't eventually end up with.I went to his parents place since the marriage involves 2 families; “go and pray about it, there is nothing God cannot do” was what I could hear. I got the message clear – Our son has started his life so go to blazes.

Thank God for a good family I have, I have braced up and put the past behind me. I have started the divorce process and God is really on my side.

Those years were the worst years of my life.

Tayo dearie, i feel your pain, i feel like crying but what can I say?

tayo4sure, sorry to hear about your plight. However, I believe that dude knew what he was doing. I could not tell from your post, however since you said no sex till you guys were married, I believe he wanted to marry you so that he can get intimate with you. I will not be surprised of old dude bolted after he accomplished his mission with you. What an idiot!

Hope things work out for you.

So sorry about it, it's well.

TAYO4SURE, i am very sorry dint worry you will fine a better guy when one door closed another door open .

Tayo . . . . . Heaven will compensate u for ur loss

Thanks for ur words of encouragement. I'm very gratefull and appreciates ur concern.
Takia.

Dear,
Ur not meant to be together.
The guy was just looking for who to use.
There are so many cowards like that around us.
God help us.
Take heart.God knows the best for us and He will perfect it.

ok you say you want to hear it from the women? There you go

I met my husband when i was 17. He was asyl in my town and i wanted to show him around town.
on that day, we went to a restaurant and sat there talking for 6 hours with nothing but one cup of coffe.
We just forgot the time. After that we started to see more often and this is how ge got to know each other.

We got married exactely two years later, since i was still a student, he came to live with my parents (remember
he did not have a job back then) we lived in my room for about 1 year be4 finding our own appartement.

and then things got troubled:
- i found out he had another girl besides me
- i found out he had a brother in switzerlan which he told me was only a good friend
- i found out he had declared his cousin as his own child in order as to bring him to switzerland one da
- i found out that he lied about his reasons 4 coming to switzerland
- and so on,

now you want to know what happened, after two more years we are now at the point of separation. I have fallen in love with another man (nigerian) and i hope that this time i will not be disapointed again.

But if you think now that i am regretting getting married at that age - you are wrong.
I am a person who never regrets things in life. It was God's plan for me and i accept that,
and by the way my husban has remained a good friend till today, he is a good guy and a really lovely person, but the wrong one for me!!!

@ tayo4sure, so sorry abt ur story.

What in the world happened to this thread?? 

Been reading from the 1st page yesterday (I'm on page 11), but I just decided to check out when the last post was. Disappointed that the thread's been dead for over a year. .

There are several threads on NL that could contend as the best, but I think each one is unique in its own way. This thread has brought me close to people I'll probably never get to meet in my life. I've shared your joy, your happiness, and I've also felt your pain and grief. I've read your accounts of marriage with its ups and downs. .quite enlightening.

One other fact that struck me about the thread was the way you guys were reaching out to one another, praying for those that had lost their loved ones, even though we're all practically strangers. Even my pathetic little self that finds it quite tasking to pray, was a little shocked to realise I was silently praying in my heart too. 

Y'all need to come back pronto! 

This is a very vital topic which affects everyone l think this forum should be renewed, may be our NLers have all gone else where. But the fact is that we all have one or two things to learn from here. May our marriages bring testimonies all through and May all the broken hearted women be restored in Jesus name.

ameeeeeeeeeeenooooooo

@ Tayo . . . . . . I'm so moved, but sorrow not 'cos there is no limit to where the Lord is taking you to marritally ok!

Just be faithful and always seek God's direction in the subsequent steps

takia

Nice thrend

Beautiful thread. Read through the whole 17 pages in 2 days. Makes me more convinced than ever before that marriage is HARD WORK. I've been married 10yrs, and I'm enjoying my marriage, to the glory of God. There've been the ups and downs, of course. But I thank God that in spite of all, my marriage is waxing stronger by the day. Shall post my story later. God bless all those who have posted their stories. May God be your strength. Cheers all!

I ran through this thread and i must admit its about one of the best ive read on nairaland. i got no experience to share yet. To all those that lost their spouse or had a bad experience kpele oh
Tayo4sure i know someone who went through what you did thank God she left the sham called a marriage she is happily remarried today and blessed with a kid

Then he told me he want a wife and he want me to be the wife. What he said made me laugh and i told myself that this guy is looking for whom to decieve. I felt he was too blunt to be true. Already i was dating two guys and was confuse as to which of them to choose as a life partner. A close friend advice me to put marriage out of my mind and concentrate on my work. It was shortly after i graduated from uni and was awaiting NYSC. I kept praying to God to help clear my confusion. It was during the period that S came along asking for marriage , i prayed again and ask God to let he will be done. Nine months later (25 AUG 2007) I was married to S. There was no honeymoon because he had to go back to work. I was looking forward to a happy married lyf. Eleven month after marriage i gav birth to a big baby boy.

I saw S first at a saloon where i went to make my hair with a friend. My friend and i were talking out side the saloon when S drove by, my friend and S are friends so he stop the car and they got talking i didnt pay any attention to him. After a year (23 dec 2006), i received a phone call from him, he introduced himself and said we met sometime ago and i gave him my number. I couldnt remember the face or the name so i asked him to come to my house the next day. He came to my house and when i saw him i instantly new that i have never met with him nor given him my number. I instantly told him i wasnt goin to grant him audience unless he say where he got my number. He pleaded that he promised nt to disclose the person's identity, but i insisted and he told me he got it from the guy i was with a the saloon. Then i askd him what i can do for him.

His matured nature and calmness attracted him to me. He was intelligent and caring. My uncle was a major opposition, my culture and believe allow cousins to marry. So becos my uncle had intrest in marring me, he joind forces with some family membes to stop the marriage but with prayers we over came them. Honestly there are times my hubby make me cry and i want to quit the marriage there are times i wish i was not married but free to do things i used to do. Sometimes i feel like having an affair not for the fun of it but just to make him mad and jelous. But honestly i do not hav the heart to cheat on him. Reading other peaple's story have made me understand that marriage is not a bed of roses all the way. I hav learnt to put in my best and appreciate my hubby. I dont regret marring him at all and ill want to be married to him forever. Im a product of brokn home and dont wish my son the same. I just didnt know wat i hav until i read other pples story

its really nice to read abt marriages. . . . .i think i now know what to be expect wen married

hello. pls can we have more? thank u.

oh how i feel for women round the globe. the maltreatment they receive from their husbands and inlaws are always terrible. it takes only those that know God to successfully scale the hurdles marriage bring their way.

O Lord give succour to all women passing through terrible times in their marriages in Jesus name. Amen.

.

I love ur story,Chaircover!

@chaircover  nice story. .i liked how u ended it too. . 

@ oYaTo,

Thanks a bunch for "waking up" this thread and calling all of us who started it to come back to share fresh experiences with Nairalanders.

I stumbled on the thread while looking for what to do at work. Nice to know that many have been blessed through our contributions. May God help those of us who are marired in our homes, those seperated to be brought back and those in grief to be comforted.

I've got another job with a multinational oil servicing company, I'm offshore onboard a FPSO now and have relocated my family to Accra, Ghana this year. All thanks to my wife and children's support.

My marriage is still standing by God's grace, we had our 13th year wedding anniversary on the 1st of June this year (though I wasn't with my wife that day, I was away at work offshore). We spent the better part of that day talking to each other through Skype video call and it's nice sharing the happy/worst times together.

Our kids (2 boys and 2 girls) are doing well in school, the 2 boys are boarders at a school in Tema, Ghana. My eldest daughter attends the same school with them, but as a day student. The last one is in Nursery 2 at a school in Accra. Their ages are 12+, 10+, 8 and 3yrs.

I thank God for it all since all these years, it's been a home that we craved for and we are really enjoying it/catching fun.

Keyword: Prayer and being in Christ are the pillars holding a happy home.

Others please come back o! Tell us how far it is with you/your home o!

My step daddy did bring this boy/student home one day. My mother took pitty on him and he had nothing better to do as to tosted the doughter of the house. This happend when we were so jung 16 and 21. Where are toghter since and have to beauty sons. My husband is thanking god this we do not have a girl togther, he says he will go nuts, if someone will do this to his own dought, what he has done to my stepfather.

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