Hello everyone,

I have been dating this lady for one year now and from the beginning we both agreed its a no sex relationship, lately we have been having serious issues.

My major problem is that shes is comfortable holding a conversation with anybody except me. She simply does not feel comfortable around me when i ask her question she either says nothing or tell me she doesn't know. At first i believed she was going to overcome it with time but however it been a year and things have not improved. She always wants me around but each time i come she has nothing to say so i always have to do the talking but from the looks on her face you can tell that she is happy having me around and most times as soon as i tell her am going the countenance on her face will change.

I have discussed the problem with her and she keeps telling me she still can't figure out why is not comfortable around me on one of those occasion she said "I love you but i don't know what is holding me back". I shared my problem with a female friend of mine who asked me to sleep with her but am not comfortable with that option because i want us to flow naturally however when i told her what my friend said she said me my friend my be right but then i still want to continue with the no sex thing because i wouldn't want a situation whereby when things doesn't workout and we have to go separate ways someone would now say i used and dumped her.

Am confused as to what to do at this junction i hope i find words of wisdom here.

NO SEX KE? U A FAGGGOT!

Hmmm she wan tell u something buy shyness no dey gree am...maybe d person below me will have a solution

Are you strict? As in do you flip out easily when she does what you find annoying? Many people who care about such people find it hard to be free because they dont know what they may do that will trigger your anger.

Bro sleep with her, and after that she will be openly minded to you. "if she is a virgin then ure lucky becaus after sleeping with her, she will give you her all.

bleep the *uck outta her, den wait to see d diff ....

Oftentimes, the words of the mouth are different from the thoughts of the heart. It might be that you are not ment to be there and you are forcing yourself so better calculate well before you begin to make unnecessary mistakes

she not feeling your ginga the swag a!
literaraily you are in the friend zone!

That's what u get when 60years man dating 20years girl, I don't see how she will be comfortable exchanging words with u, don't worked yourself over my comment, just my own opinion

it is not that you are not right about your relationship style but she is not on your level and trust me.she has back up and she is hanging out to see how you pawn out!
but a time comes she will do something that will make you understand she is not or longer interested because she is not your type.

Try find things that Interest her and places that interest her. Do those things and take her to those places at her leisure time. Surprise her with gifts. You are the one who can make her comfortable around you... nothing wrong with a relationship without sex, so long you both agreed to be faithful... goodluck

delishpot:
Are you strict? As in do you flip out easily when she does what you find annoying? Many people who care about such people find it hard to be free because they dont know what they may do that will trigger your anger.

Am strict but with her I try to be flexible Often times I have had to bend some of my principles so we won't have to argue

skyface00:
That's what u get when 60years man dating 20years girl, I don't see how she will be comfortable exchanging words with u, don't worked yourself over my comment, just my own opinion

Am 26 and she is 23.

fantazia:
Bro sleep with her, and after that she will be openly minded to you. "if she is a virgin then ure lucky becaus after sleeping with her, she will give you her all.

Sleeping with her is not an option I feel we should be able to work things out naturally without the sex thing even though she is not a virgin.

lawrenzooo:
Am strict but with her I try to be flexible Often times I have had to bend some of my principles so we won't have to argue

There you have it. No long talk. Do you know that a stingy man will think giving his best pal 10 naira out of a billion naira is bending his principles of not giving a dime to anyone at all?

delishpot:


There you have it. No long talk. Do you know that a stingy man will think giving his best pal 30 naira out of a billion naira is bending his principles of not giving a dime to anyone at all?

Yeah I do know that but however it's a little different here. When I say principles here it not about money. I mean with her I go out of my way to keep her happy. I have given 30 out of 30 so when it comes to giving I have no problem with that.

lawrenzooo:

Yeah I do know that but however it's a little different here. When I say principles here it not about money. I mean with her I go out of my way to keep her happy. I have given 30 out of 30 so when it comes to giving I have no problem with that.

Noo. I wasnt talking about money I just used it as an example to show the thing you call flexible may not look flexible to others. Sorry if I made it sound like you were stingy. It did not even cross my mind.
ok let me give another example
you ussualy keep your child locked up in a dark room and you believe its the best way to keep child safe. Later you decide to be flexible by allowing the child access to the window to watch people and see the world. Do you think that the child will call that being flexible?

So u really mean to tell me that for 365 days and counting this sh1t has been on like this..and she even agreed to the sex suggestion... I wouldn't want to be the one to tell u she might just be getting a stiff D elsewhere but anyway what can I say...even Mr Bean go fit make some progressive move after one week of monotony... I hate sounding harsh bros but the truth is you need to read btwn d lines & stop starving that girl..one yr? ah she must really like u o cos she supposed don dump u since cos from what u posted there is no sex, no fun, no open natural flowing communication,No NOTHING..in fact no relationship if u ask me & u blv no one is filling that void probably the other guy ain't that good @ what he does that's why u are still relevant...I will advise you break every rule in ur book n live free with her n see if she wouldn't be d best girl ever.

lawrenzooo:
Hello everyone,

I have been dating this lady for one year now and from the beginning we both agreed its a no sex relationship, lately we have been having serious issues.

My major problem is that shes is comfortable holding a conversation with anybody except me. She simply does not feel comfortable around me when i ask her question she either says nothing or tell me she doesn't know. At first i believed she was going to overcome it with time but however it been a year and things have not improved. She always wants me around but each time i come she has nothing to say so i always have to do the talking but from the looks on her face you can tell that she is happy having me around and most times as soon as i tell her am going the countenance on her face will change.

I have discussed the problem with her and she keeps telling me she still can't figure out why is not comfortable around me on one of those occasion she said "I love you but i don't know what is holding me back". I shared my problem with a female friend of mine who asked me to sleep with her but am not comfortable with that option because i want us to flow naturally however when i told her what my friend said she said me my friend my be right but then i still want to continue with the no sex thing because i wouldn't want a situation whereby when things doesn't workout and we have to go separate ways someone would now say i used and dumped her.

Am confused as to what to do at this junction i hope i find words of wisdom here.

She loves you and is probably older than you.

Bros collect ur own and shift na, Haba why u dey block road for other people na?

lawrenzooo:
Am strict but with her I try to be flexible Often times I have had to bend some of my principles so we won't have to argue

define what you mean by your word "strict" and what you describe as "flexible"

She's an introvert

that is what happens when u treat ur girlfriend like you will ur daughter......

pretydiva:
She's an introvert

I don't think so!

1 year and no sex hehehehehehehe! , I doubt it . Is it that either af u is so ugly, d urge to get intimate won't just pop-up?



Wouldn't have doubted the possibility af no sex if it were that u guys don't have private meetings together...


If what u said is true any way, it may be that she just doesn't know what to say for real. I'd actually dated a girl that actuaaly found it hard to look me in the eyes before ... So, don't sweat it too much so far every other thing abt tha relationship is fine

Sabrwahaqqo:
1 year and no sex hehehehehehehe! , I doubt it . Is it that either af u is so ugly, d urge to get intimate won't just pop-up?



Wouldn't have doubted the possibility af no sex if it were that u guys don't have private meetings together...


If what u said is true any way, it may be that she just doesn't know what to say for real. I'd actually dated a girl that actuaaly found it hard to look me in the eyes before ... So, don't sweat it too much so far every other thing abt tha relationship is fine

you struck a bone
"sexual urges"
hmmmmmm!

IamLEGEND1:
that is what happens when u treat ur girlfriend like you will ur daughter......

Oh no....!
I don't treat her like a daughter so I think. Might be wrong though.
The no sex thing was on mutual agreement and infact her suggestion which I agreed and we also agreed that whenever it's becoming an issue we would review our decision so it not as though I make the rules and expect her to obey or follow.

Hummm maybe she is not into you anymore

Shoo See Advice

baralatie:

define what you mean by your word "strict" and what you describe as "flexible"

When I say strict here I mean there are certain things I wouldn't do because it doesn't agree with my philosophy of life.
However some how I did some of those things because we both understand sometime u have to compromise for the one you love... And she would later tell me she loves it when d rule get broken for her sake.

[quote author=pretydiva post=38266149]She's an introvert [/quote
She's not an introvert, when she hangs out with her hobbies it's a different story!! In fact when we were just friends we talk well and I enjoyed the time we spent together as friends which was what prompted me taking it to the next level and ever since then things kinda changed

LEOSIRSIR:
Hummm maybe she is not into you anymore

At some point I thought of that but what baffles me is the fact that if when we not together she keeps disturbing me to come around and when we are together you could see a happy gal or maybe so I think.
We could be together and she would send an sms telling me she loves me yet she can't look me in d eyes to say those same words.