Toks2008:


Please put yourself in the shoes of the man and see if it makes sense for me to spend thousands of my hard earned money to divorce a lady and then makes her very free to be with the man. Never will i be that foolish.

It will be on record that she has cheated so that at anytime she wants to make trouble with the new woman she just won't be able to do that so let her go look for money and divorce herself and i will let her go.

How would you know she is cheating?

Married women they cheat wella....magun wasn't created today

Go figure

EggovinMma:
When married,4.

I know say U be badoo

pet4ril:
I just pray I don't find myself in such mess because honestly, I don't really know the answer to the question you just asked only God knows what the future holds and what the answer is in my heart

brace for impact.


No wait till water boil b4 U go begin reason wetin U wan cook

Timbuktou:


You have answered your first paragraph in your second. There's no need to list that option because it goes without saying that the woman never married or intended to marry a cheater. The cheater was, in the beginning, a "faithful man" wasn't he?

And then you say there's a lie that all men cheat, that's true. It is a lie. But in a case where the woman finds her second "faithful husband" has cheated, what is she to do with the five options listed in the OP? We can address this thread based on the OP or you could just start your own counter-thread.

She woudl remarry again or starts cheating too

Life is not hard at all

doveda:


How would you know she is cheating?

Married women they cheat wella....magun wasn't created today

Go figure

Kilode gan?

You see me for dream?

Abeg free me.

cococandy:


You guys are cracking me up.

This is the reason why many Nigerian men aren't the father of their kids.
Then after 20yrs of playing away match in the marriage, they have the nerve to ask for aDNA test for their kids. As if their wives no sabi that thing wey them sabi.

When their own offspring litter other men's homes. What's the problem in helping their guys raise their kids while they are helping you raise yours? The circle of life ehn.

I am laughing like a mad woman at the bolded


Biko it should be we lead while they follow

Phema:
OP, you forgot to include;

6. Would you prefer to marry a philandering man, wait till he makes good money, kill him afterwards and inherit all his wealth?

Now, that is an option worth considering.

pls upload Ur picture, so I will see Ur face & advice all my niggas to stay away 4rm U

Toks2008:
The last time i checked,these questioons were meant for married ladies and not teenagers or unmarried ladies in their adolescent ages.

Coming from who has never cheated or dated more than two ladies......sincerely you are in no position to tell what a 21st century woman what to do

Toks2008:


Kilode gan?

You see me for dream?

Abeg free me.

We are in this together

Annoying thread promoting promiscuity...since its okay for the man to cheat and have an understanding wife, hope the same Man won't drink rat poison when the same wife he "loves and desires" CHEATS ON HIM WITH SEVERAL MEN? And why should a woman remain celibate after leaving her husband? It is better a woman leaves a dog who calls himself a husband than remain in a marriage and get all kinds of deadly diseases that would end her innocent life. It's indeed terrible the kind of things men bring into their marriages, at the end of the day, everyone blames the woman

Toks2008:


Absolutely you are free to cheat on a vheating hubby...its your choice as long as you can bear the stigma.

See dont ever be among those who claim equality with men when it comes to philandering except you just want to jettison your essence as a woman.

If you are divorced base on adultry,walahi it will take the grace of God to find even a blind man to marry you except he has no clue...be wise.

What stigma? Do you live in a village?

Toks2008:


Freecoco you are on your own o. Whatever rocks your boat.

Sometimes i laugh at some ladies that hink cheating is a way of revenge. T will surprise them when it dawns on them because the same man you cheat with will tell you to your face how useless you are...

We are living n a wicked world of men.

I don't know the spirit that makes you think that a woman will die if her husband calls her useless?

You need to upgrade yourself. Surround yourself with women not dummies!!!

jmoore:
"Would you divorce him and marry a faithful man?"

Why is this option not listed?

It is not there because, it is a fool's paradise.

The husband that is unfaithful today did not start off as being unfaithful...He most likely was faithful then, hence you married him to begin with.

Alternatively, if he were unfaithful when you married him, what is the point of leaving him on account of his unfaithfulness now for someone faithful?

KanwuliaJara:
1. NO
2. NO
3. NO
4. NO
5. NO

Reason for ALL 5?

I am a better "PHILANDERESS"!
No man can beat me at that kind of game o!
Abi, I nefa "PROOF" am?
I go TANDA whia I dey KAMKPEEEEEEE !!!

No need to SWAP one HE-GOAT FOR ANOTHER ABI?

He-goat na he-goat abegggggi!!!!

who ask U anything

Joy1706:
Na no. 4 sure pass o. I know of someone wwho husband was a chronic cheat. She prayed o, begged o every every. One day she told him to his face that th days of her being faithful are over. Now na she dey do pass the man. The man has begged, threatened, reported her. For where? He can't chase her out as she contributed to the building of the house. Now the man don mellow but the woman's own just dey start

This is why I dey tell women to have lives outside marriage. If it comes to the worse, na to ask him to leave the house for her

njokusboy:


So you guys are essentially "follow follow" with no minds of your own..
Why then do you dispute the notion that males are superior, you have clearly stated that you do only what a man does....
People who call women "zombies" surely have a strong argument.

Would you say your mum is a zombie?

Toks2008:


I don't know how to explain this.

I am not encouraging any man to cheat on their wives but these things happen in 7 out of 10 cases and this is why i threw this very sensitive and vital questions for married ladies to ponder over.

I dont know but i presume you are still young to understand this. Pretty face or sexy body does not keep a man faithful to a woman, please go out and you will be amazed at the number of sexy pretty ladies that are single and ready to mingle and its like these babes do not give a fvk if the man is married or not so lets leave sentiments,im not saying there are no faithful men out there and im not going to pretend that im unaware of the fact that many marriages crash today because of this monster called infidelity.

Yet i have seen countless number of ladies change man after man until many men have really used them before they realize that there is more to life than being a robocop over a man's fidelity.

So these questions are for those who find themselves with a cheating hubby and for those who divorcees the question is if the second one does same wil they continue their quest?

I want evry lady reading this to let this sink...your happiness in life or marriage must never be hinged on a man's fidelity towards you else you will only live a miserable life because some ladies are out there to unseat you from your marriage.

Its so foolish that some ladies just rush out of their marriage to give room for a side chic to come dominate a home they have built for years and ironically these ladies go out to start sleeping around with even worse guys MOST TIMES and only very minute few get another hubby fast enough.

I have really tried to make this explicit.

See no randy man in 95% of the case is ready to give up his precious woman or wife for a desperate low self esteem lady but he just wants to have her as a side meal and in most cases what we have is husband sharers and not snatchers but it is the wife at home thaat willingly give up her man to be snatched and men as weak as they are will always be carried away by the tot of having a new body to explore so once you leave the lady moves in and take over the man and the man forgets you ever exists and worse still the so called lady divorcees end up living a solitary life or even start frolicking about with useless men so who is fooling who.

If every lady can understand how to remain indifferent, trust me, that randy hubby will always eat these desperate ladies and run back to you.

Used who?

Are you referring to the consensual act they engaged in? Chai!

doveda:


Used who?

Are you referring to the consensual act they engaged in? Chai!

you better wake up from your fantasy world into reality.

Women have caught up to men , do me i do you man no go vex. Most of the women who turn a blind eye to cheating are also doing their thing That's why i never put mouth when people start talking about a woman cheating because for the one time the wife would have cheated the average husband would have cheated 10times. The days of suffering and smiling are over, personally i'll rather get a divorce and move on but for the women who choose to close eye and do their own thing i don't judge.

Toks2008:


you better wake up from your fantasy world into reality.

No sir

It is you that needs to wake up....21st century has made things easier and almost perfect.

I watched two documentaries recently. One was about the rise of GILF and manwhores/sugarboys...Oops! I think I am still dreaming.

There are reasons to call this thread worldly facts of life but I tell you OP, there are more and too many reasons to call it IDIOTIC. I really don't like abusing but jeez! What is wrong with these male mentality u people are selling everywhere. U guys better be very careful cos this whole package is really suggestive of the life u pple have chosen and indirectly forcing the female folks to be complacent about and accept when u cannot accept same as a male. Forget about the deception where u listed options.its clear form the tone that u have already chosen an option for the females. Infact none of ur options are good. Can u imagine? What u cannot take, ur hands are fast to type and suggest! Msheew!

Tolatutu:
Women have caught up to men , do me i do you man no go vex. Most of the women who turn a blind eye to cheating are also doing their thing That's why i never put mouth when people start talking about a woman cheating because for the one time the wife would have cheated the average husband would have cheated 10times. The days of suffering and smiling are over, personally i'll rather get a divorce and move on but for the women who choose to close eye and do their own thing i don't judge.

Agreed but the question i need to ask os this;..Is any man worth making you stoop so low to a slutty level? Does it make sense to turn yourself to a LovePeddler because one regberegbe philanderer can't keep his kini inside his boxers?

Common..i think ladies who cheat as a revenge have smuttiness in them but just waiting for an excuse to unleash it because no one can ever make you do what you are not capable of.

Toks2008:
All over the world,women divorce their hubbies for so many reasons but statistics have shown that infidelity tops the list especially in this part of the world where polygamy has become the norm,but the question is;does it make sense for a lady to divorce her hubby over infidelity when same man can as well decide and indeed marry more wives?

I want ladies to understand this one vital point that most and i mean MOST HUSBANDS will cheat on their wives even if they are married to angels and the fact that your husband cheats on you does not mean he does not deeply love and desire you.

Please don't get it twisted...Not all men cheat and adultery is a sin before GOD and all adulterers be a man or woman shall end up in hell but i am not here to preach any sermon but to face reality head on.

Many ladies are always quick to say they can not stand an adulterer as a husband and some will threaten to rain fire and brimstone on a philandering hubby but in case you discover your hubby cheats on you please what would you do?

1.Would you rather leave your marriage, remain single and celibate for life?

2.Would you rather leave your adulterous hubby and start sleeping about with other men who are probably randy or husbands of other women?

3.Would you keep changing the new man to start all over with another if he also cheats on you?

4.Would you prefer to stay with an adulterous hubby and also shamelessly philander about in the bid to seek a revenge?

5.Would you prefer to stay with a philandering hubby,live a decent lifestyle and focus on your life and that of your children and just see him as a sex partner warning him to use protection if he must eat out?

6.Would you prefer a sexually decent hubby to take a new wife because he says he hates sleeping with random women?

Please don't answer with "none of the above because if you are in that position,you will certainly be faced with an option.

This is what i want many married ladies to know and i can't stress it enough..There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop a man to be polygamous either by sleeping around or taking a second wife "IF" he wants to and you can't even nag him out of it but In order to have a good stand if your hubby cheats on you,be a good wife first by being very humble,GOD fearing,Excellent cook,Financially independent,a crazy LovePeddler only to your hubby then watch and see.

Many ladies make some adulterous hubbies feel too important.Don't even think about worrying your head about your husband's fidelity but warn him to use protection if he must keep mistresses...i bet he will be so scared that he will sit up. Unfortunately many ladies just give their husband an excuse to have that Alpha ego whenever they rant and give them heat over an inconsequential emotionally vulnerable side dish.

There are more interesting things in life so please don't spoil your fun by hinging your happiness on your hubby's infidelity to you..trust me,If every married lady can care less if her husband cheats and just focus on developing her life and that of her child(ren),how happy many marriages will be. Its not difficult,,its a thing of the mind.

Hope this makes a little sense.

Here we go again. Another chauvinistic article from a chauvinistic prick. You can never end up with an assured and confident woman. I pity the slave you end up with. I strongly believe you should emigrate to Afghanistan or Iraq. You'll fit perfectly over there. At least they think exactly the way you do in matters relating to women. This muthafucker is justifying staying with a philandering husband. Really? Come and say this same shiit in an organized society and see if they'll not throw you out head first. There is something seriously wrong with you. I wonder what kind of environment you grew up in. I really wonder. I will keep bugging you till you receive sense.

Henrique4real:
There are reasons to call this thread worldly facts of life but I tell you OP, there are more and too many reasons to call it IDIOTIC. I really don't like abusing but jeez! What is wrong with these male mentality u people are selling everywhere. U guys better be very careful cos this whole package is really suggestive of the life u pple have chosen and indirectly forcing the female folks to be complacent about and accept when u cannot accept same as a male. Forget about the deception where u listed options.its clear form the tone that u have already chosen an option for the females. Infact none of ur options are good. Can u imagine? What u cannot take, ur hands are fast to type and suggest! Msheew!

@ Bold letterings...

You are very free to cheat back s a revenge dearie so look at this objectively and not dogmatically. A s long as you are ready to drag yourself in the mud cos a randy guy decides to do his thing then please go ahead..no one is forcing any lady to maintain a status quo.

banmee:


Here we go again. Another chauvinistic article from a chauvinistic prick. You can never end up with an assured and confident woman. I pity the slave you end up with. I strongly believe you should emigrate to Afghanistan or Iraq. You'll fit perfectly over there. At least they think exactly the way you do in matters relating to women. This muthafucker is justifying staying with a philandering husband. Really? Come and say this same shiit in an organized society and see if they'll not throw you out head first. There is something seriously wrong with you. I wonder what kind of environment you grew up in. I really wonder. I will keep bugging you till you receive sense.

This is a thread for men and not boys please...

If you want to comment here please do so like a matured person and not one high on liquor or oshogbo weed. Its not a must to make comments an we are not in a palm wine joint so make intelligent comments or keep mum.

banmee:


Here we go again. Another chauvinistic article from a chauvinistic prick. You can never end up with an assured and confident woman. I pity the slave you end up with. I strongly believe you should emigrate to Afghanistan or Iraq. You'll fit perfectly over there. At least they think exactly the way you do in matters relating to women. This muthafucker is justifying staying with a philandering husband. Really? Come and say this same shiit in an organized society and see if they'll not throw you out head first. There is something seriously wrong with you. I wonder what kind of environment you grew up in. I really wonder. I will keep bugging you till you receive sense.

Thumbs up bro, I am glad this is coming from a guy. just as my blood bro would have said it. I am glad!

Toks2008:


Agreed but the question i need to ask os this;..Is any man worth making you stoop so low to a slutty level? Does it make sense to turn yourself to a LovePeddler because one regberegbe philanderer can't keep his kini inside his boxers?

Common..i think ladies who cheat as a revenge have smuttiness in them but just waiting for an excuse to unleash it because no one can ever make you do what you are not capable of.

I've told you personally i would rather move on. The women who stay and cheat do so because they need to find their own happiness, You think its easy to live with a serial cheat abi You tell women not to leave so they can die of hypertension abi When they have their own thing on the side they no longer give a flip about the cheating loser. It's basically an open relationship and that's what many Nigerian marriages these days are. Since you people say the husband is the head then don't blame wives for following their husbands leads

For you to ask a woman to disregard a cheating husband is for you to ask her to emotionally give up on the marriage. What is the point of remaining married if that's the case.

There are many things that women should be cautioned and instructed to forgive and let pass in a marriage but definetely not adultery. If a woman sincerely tries to work on the marital issues that lead to her husband to seek sex outside and he still refuses to change what is the need of staying in that marriage? So the man can now come and give her an STD? Or she shouldn't have sex again in her marriage? So she should face her children and sacrifice having a love life.

I understand what you're meaning to say and maybe it would be more likely for a woman to remain in the home and disregard her husbands promiscuity in the olden days but it's not realistic in modern nigeria. People are more exposed and educated. Women have more options and opportunities available to them. They don't have to stay in a marriage by force anymore because they can't afford to care for themselves otherwise. I don't want to speak for all women so I shall speak for myself. I will not take it. Never. No matter what it will leave a negative impact on my way of life. I will not be able to function knowing that my husband is having extramarital affairs and is unwilling to change. It is one thing if we have a matured discussion and decide to move forward and he actually stops sleeping around. With time we will mend. But if his is UNWILLING then Biko no time to waste time. I am out. Peace of mind is free. Peace

I made a promise, a vow and a convenant with a man under God and I will keep that promise until they day I die and I expect the man to do the same. This is MARRIAGE not boyfriend/girlfriend wahala. This a scared bonding between two individuals.


If this matrimonial home is a Muslim family where men are entitled in the religion to practise polygamy and have up to 4 wives. The woman can now argue that the man should stop having sex outside and marry another wife. But I highly doubt that after 4 wives a man who has the mentality of a serial cheater will stop there. Now if this is a Christian marriage then seriously what is the point? The man will not change. The woman may stay if she is 50± and does not see herself starting life all over again. Perhaps sex is no longer as important to her as it used to be. But to ask a woman below 50 to basically live a celibate life with a cheating husband is wickedness. Because she will not want to sleep with her husband again, the love will be gone, that close relationship is broken. You are living with an enemy.

How will this shape the minds of the children who view the relationship of their parents? Unless the wife is unaware of the husbands actions there is no way they can reasonably function as a family unit and remain truly in love unless they have an agreement that the husband is free to do as he pleases and he agrees to always use protection outside.

But I don't agree to such agreements in marriage. And therefore I can not be content in such a marriage. The real question here is in a Nigerian household if a woman is a serial cheater would you ask the husband to bear within the marriage?

Truthfully, marriage is a commitment and nobody said it would be easy. But, whether man or woman ANYBODY who is not willing to commit to thier spouse seriously is not ready for marriage. We are human and sometimes we make mistakes and cheat on the ones we love, but if the love is there forgiveness will come. The problem is when the cheating never stops. Then there is no need to remain in my opinion.

All of this only makes sense if you married for love. If you married for money then of course you will stay in the marriage Na. When ur cheating husband does his own, you go and do your own outside and continue to collect the money. Loooolll. Just jokes

But this is my humble opinion. It's a long epistle sha. But you don't have to agree with me. But that is how I see it.

Op must be a Yoruba man.

Tolatutu:


I've told you personally i would rather move on. The women who stay and cheat do so because they need to find their own happiness, You think its easy to live with a serial cheat abi You tell women not to leave so they can die of hypertension abi When they have their own thing o . the side they no longer give a flip about the cheating loser. It's basically an open relation and that's what many Nigerian marriages these days are. Since you people say teh wife is the head then don't blame wives for following their husbands leads

Apparently i asked an objective question with various options to choose from but ironically many ladies are just attcking the thread without seing the objective side to it.

So please what option would you categorically settle for?