| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Nobody: 12:08am On Dec 27, 2015 |
A good ex like me will surely dwell on the good things about the babe..  ...We all deserve love and I won't be the one to tell dark things about an ex babe to a new bobo. .. |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Vikky014(f): 12:13am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Daniel058:
Maybe God make it you get married to a guy from Catholic Church..  LOL. My popsy na Protestant pastor ooo might nt b humanly possible bt wt GOD all things r possible  bt DAN stp derailing this thread oo. bye |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Daniel058(m): 12:22am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Vikky014:
LOL. My popsy na Protestant pastor ooo might nt b humanly possible bt wt GOD all things r possible
bt DAN stp derailing this thread oo. bye Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing shall be impossible...lol nite dear. |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by BackOff(m): 12:23am On Dec 27, 2015 |
@op
Mind if I ask what good thing you're expecting to come out of the mouth of an "ex"?
Everyone has a past. You also have a past.
The rule of thumb is, never dwell on the past. I understand the angle you're coming from, but that's why nobody should just jump into marriage.
There's time for relationship and probably courtship. That is the time you have to study and know who he/she truly is. Someone's true character cannot be hidden for too long. But having to dig up their past somehow isn't necessary to me. Whatever happened in the past is in the past.
What I have now is all I'm interested in.
If you must know about his/her past, know it from him/her and not from the ex.
Give them a chance to tell you all about their past and reassure them you won't judge them for it.
You'll get everything or almost everything you need to know.
Cheers. 4 Likes |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by kunlegboye(m): 12:30am On Dec 27, 2015 |
op it's true...My friend once told of a story about a lady that introduced to her husband on their wedding day her manfriend as one of their family members.the innocent man prostrated for his wife man friend and his friends that followed him! 1 Like |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Rexnegro(m): 12:30am On Dec 27, 2015 |
tellwisdom:
No Gurl has a good past..Spits  really? guy calm down some girls re still clean bro.... 1 Like |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by assana: 12:35am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Check my signature#camlimited# |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by cococandy(f): 12:46am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Of all the people to talk to, it's the ex you think appropriate.
That's so naive.
What do you expect to hear from an ex? Worse if they are a scorned one at that. 1 Like |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Nobody: 12:48am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Have you always wondered why some people are quick to say "i don't want to talk about it" whenever a new person in their life asks why they broke up with an ex?
I guess most times people who are quick to waive the discussion might just have something sensitive they do not want to share because in many instances we tend to allow the feeling of initial gragra cloud our sense of reasoning and just fall in love with someone who was really a nightmare to his or her ex(es) no wonder why many companies ask for letter of reference from your past employer or someone that can really vouch for you.
My advice to ladies or guys who seem to lose their sense of reasoning due to "desperation to get married" is to calm down and do serious research on whoever they want to settle with.I believe if we all imbibe the culture of insisting that we speak one on one with an ex of our potential new partner or dig into their past,we will save ourselves unpleasant surprises and avoidable heart aches.
This is not just about believing whatever he or she tells you due to the decietful nature of people but its about making a thorough due diligence by speaking to a friend,neighbor,sibling,co-worker or even the ex of that person just to have a good picture of who you are about to commit yourself to.
I know this sounds funny but i believe its reasonable and this is the secret of long lasting marriages of our parents because in those days,they don't joke with due diligence up to the generations of the great grand parents of the potential spouse..lol!.
Many men have lost their lives indulging with married ladies who lied to them that they are single as well as many men losing all they ever worked for to a dangerous gold digger as well as evil ladies and many ladies have ended up getting deeply involved with a married man or even a notorious guy without having a clue.
No matter how seemingly innocent and responsible that guy or lady may look outwardly,trust me on this,it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start a real affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots
Hope this makes sense.
Thumbs up  |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by kurt09(m): 12:57am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Have you always wondered why some people are quick to say "i don't want to talk about it" whenever a new person in their life asks why they broke up with an ex?
I guess most times people who are quick to waive the discussion might just have something sensitive they do not want to share because in many instances we tend to allow the feeling of initial gragra cloud our sense of reasoning and just fall in love with someone who was really a nightmare to his or her ex(es) no wonder why many companies ask for letter of reference from your past employer or someone that can really vouch for you.
My advice to ladies or guys who seem to lose their sense of reasoning due to "desperation to get married" is to calm down and do serious research on whoever they want to settle with.I believe if we all imbibe the culture of insisting that we speak one on one with an ex of our potential new partner or dig into their past,we will save ourselves unpleasant surprises and avoidable heart aches.
This is not just about believing whatever he or she tells you due to the decietful nature of people but its about making a thorough due diligence by speaking to a friend,neighbor,sibling,co-worker or even the ex of that person just to have a good picture of who you are about to commit yourself to.
I know this sounds funny but i believe its reasonable and this is the secret of long lasting marriages of our parents because in those days,they don't joke with due diligence up to the generations of the great grand parents of the potential spouse..lol!.
Many men have lost their lives indulging with married ladies who lied to them that they are single as well as many men losing all they ever worked for to a dangerous gold digger as well as evil ladies and many ladies have ended up getting deeply involved with a married man or even a notorious guy without having a clue.
No matter how seemingly innocent and responsible that guy or lady may look outwardly,trust me on this,it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start a real affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots
Hope this makes sense.
|
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by professore(m): 1:28am On Dec 27, 2015 |
If u can't tolerate some certain things then make yourse research,if u are willing to accept them the way they were and are,ignore digging into their past |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Nobody: 2:08am On Dec 27, 2015 |
@Op, I now agreed that there are so many boys(see themselves as men) out here. What are you thinking when you picked up your pen and write this trash.
It's childish, unhealthy and stupid to start digging into your girlfriend or boyfriend past. 98% Ex boyfriend or girlfriend would have negative stuff to say about
The past is gone, the past is in the past and present is here for good; take advantage of your present with your newly found girlfriend or boyfriend and move on. Life is too short to start digging..........
If you are a smart dude, you ll know who your girlfriend/boyfriend is over couple of months into the relationship.
2 Likes |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Ironi: 2:28am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Why should I go ask my girl's ex about her?
Kai I can't do that; her past relationship is something I'll not like to know, however, we shall discuss if it comes up.
Go ask him how he was fuccking her or what?? 2 Likes |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by suzzy16(f): 2:31am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Nope, first date is just for peripheral familiarity but before you allow yourself to start developing strong feelings please investigate very well and don't just fall for cheap talks. good talk |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by suzzy16(f): 2:34am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
We are on the same page on this.
Many people can lie...Some ladies have fallen for ritualistic man all in the name of business man and many ladies have said YES I DO to a monster. learning |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by kodlins(f): 2:56am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Nothing is really too sensitive to discuss but please note... I am not saying on a first or second date but if you are noticing some form of deep affection for such person just halt it first and do some real digging and you just might than GOD you did. What of Long distance relationship. How and where do you want to start the investigation? |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by honvalid(m): 3:52am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Good write,the best I've ever read.I pray all the single guys imbibe dis practical proof of successful home. |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by honvalid(m): 3:52am On Dec 27, 2015 |
honvalid:
Good write,the best I've ever read.I pray all the single guys imbibe dis practical proof of successful home. |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Nobody: 4:17am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
That is the beauty..A wise person will know the facts to gather from whatever the ex says about that person..no matter how that ex tries to spoil the image of that person,there will still be some facts about that person that wil surface.
I once had a casual female friend who asked me to ghive her the number of my ex that she would like to know me from her perspective..
Without wasting time i gave her and she called her and said some stuffs about really wanting to know me from her point of view.
After several minutes of chatting this my friend looked at me and said toks..your ex needs help and i just smiled.
How many ladies or guys can allow their present bae chat up an ex? Hope you guys re married now? So u were happy she said ur ex needs help smh 4 u |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by pretty050(f): 4:37am On Dec 27, 2015 |
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| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by ledaman: 5:22am On Dec 27, 2015 |
I totally concur with you. during ones research one should not judge on the basis of what was found because @ times circumstances might lead someone take some certain decisions . |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by ogawisdom(m): 5:38am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Have you always wondered why some people are quick to say "i don't want to talk about it" whenever a new person in their life asks why they broke up with an ex?
I guess most times people who are quick to waive the discussion might just have something sensitive they do not want to share because in many instances we tend to allow the feeling of initial gragra cloud our sense of reasoning and just fall in love with someone who was really a nightmare to his or her ex(es) no wonder why many companies ask for letter of reference from your past employer or someone that can really vouch for you.
My advice to ladies or guys who seem to lose their sense of reasoning due to "desperation to get married" is to calm down and do serious research on whoever they want to settle with.I believe if we all imbibe the culture of insisting that we speak one on one with an ex of our potential new partner or dig into their past,we will save ourselves unpleasant surprises and avoidable heart aches.
This is not just about believing whatever he or she tells you due to the decietful nature of people but its about making a thorough due diligence by speaking to a friend,neighbor,sibling,co-worker or even the ex of that person just to have a good picture of who you are about to commit yourself to.
I know this sounds funny but i believe its reasonable and this is the secret of long lasting marriages of our parents because in those days,they don't joke with due diligence up to the generations of the great grand parents of the potential spouse..lol!.
Many men have lost their lives indulging with married ladies who lied to them that they are single as well as many men losing all they ever worked for to a dangerous gold digger as well as evil ladies and many ladies have ended up getting deeply involved with a married man or even a notorious guy without having a clue.
No matter how seemingly innocent and responsible that guy or lady may look outwardly,trust me on this,it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start a real affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots
Hope this makes sense.
After all d investigations they may still nt tell u they had 8 abortions and 15 failed rships highest they will admit one |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by seaga: 5:41am On Dec 27, 2015 |
YourMain:
Some things really are. For example what if she/he was something she/he wasn't really proud of in the past. And he/she had completely changed their ways. Obviously if you didn't really love him/her you'd hear this and run. You'd let a good girl/guy go because you'd judge them on who they were in the past not who they are now.
Yeah I understand but somethings are so big you'd really have to love them to be okay with it Nothing is hidden under the sun, it's better you let it out.A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage. We think the past doesn't matter, whereas it's what shapes us to our present form.There was a write up earlier today where a man said his marriage has collapsed, it was as a result of no proper research...The past matters, which explains why we have a discipline dedicated to it, which simply goes by the name 'History' |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Vikky014(f): 5:47am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Daniel058:
Luke 1:37 - For with God nothing shall be
impossible...lol nite dear. yes u r very right 1 Like |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Vikky014(f): 5:47am On Dec 27, 2015 |
ogawisdom:
After all d investigations they may still nt tell u they had 8 abortions and 15 failed rships highest they will admit one  |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by GreatManBee: 5:48am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Toks2008:
Have you always wondered why some people are quick to say "i don't want to talk about it" whenever a new person in their life asks why they broke up with an ex?
I guess most times people who are quick to waive the discussion might just have something sensitive they do not want to share because in many instances we tend to allow the feeling of initial gragra cloud our sense of reasoning and just fall in love with someone who was really a nightmare to his or her ex(es) no wonder why many companies ask for letter of reference from your past employer or someone that can really vouch for you.
My advice to ladies or guys who seem to lose their sense of reasoning due to "desperation to get married" is to calm down and do serious research on whoever they want to settle with.I believe if we all imbibe the culture of insisting that we speak one on one with an ex of our potential new partner or dig into their past,we will save ourselves unpleasant surprises and avoidable heart aches.
This is not just about believing whatever he or she tells you due to the decietful nature of people but its about making a thorough due diligence by speaking to a friend,neighbor,sibling,co-worker or even the ex of that person just to have a good picture of who you are about to commit yourself to.
I know this sounds funny but i believe its reasonable and this is the secret of long lasting marriages of our parents because in those days,they don't joke with due diligence up to the generations of the great grand parents of the potential spouse..lol!.
Many men have lost their lives indulging with married ladies who lied to them that they are single as well as many men losing all they ever worked for to a dangerous gold digger as well as evil ladies and many ladies have ended up getting deeply involved with a married man or even a notorious guy without having a clue.
No matter how seemingly innocent and responsible that guy or lady may look outwardly,trust me on this,it is always better to scrutinize the past of any new person we want to start a real affair with because when it comes to character, more often than not, humans are like leopards who never change their spots
Hope this makes sense.
|
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by RuuDie(m): 6:01am On Dec 27, 2015 |
This thing with the "past" is really tricky... the key thing is to "openness" and fairness on your own ; and letting your partner know that you will not develop a "negative bias" towards them because of things they may have done in the past!!!
If you are "investigating", best be ready to accept whatever you "find"... and if you are doing so just to look for a way to "give the dog a bad name and then hang it" --- don't bother, just get out already! 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by Toks2008(m): 6:08am On Dec 27, 2015 |
maiahsaiah:
Hope you guys re married now? So u were happy she said ur ex needs help smh 4 u Tantafo... 1 Like |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by seaga: 6:16am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Vikky014:
Really u mean sme1 can jst marry wtout evn loving d partner strange No, what is strange is you been a novist on that |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by DedeNkem: 6:20am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Your post is in line with what I've be screaming to people- to never marry anyone you don't know very well.
The stranger you marry could be very evil and may send you to your early grave.
Investigate the person thoroughly and make sure you establish a long courtship first before tying the knot.
Don't be blinded by beauty or money or power. Marraige is a very serious stuff! 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by avicky(f): 6:31am On Dec 27, 2015 |
Vikky014:
Really clap for urslf
Anybody dt will walk me down the isle must tell me his past oooo no dulling bc most threads frm married folks here is scary sometimes. how i wish i ws born a catholic na to bcme a Rev sister sure pass ooo
Infact even after marriage self we will b swapping phones and laptops two times in a week strting frm Friday...hehehehe vikky the dreamer Openness is key in starting a new relationship. Both parties need to open up about the past and present to avoid unpleasant surprises. And if you want the relationship, you continue or otherwise move on. And don't be scared of marriage. No marriage is perfect, it's how the adults concerned manage their crisis that matters. But it should be enjoyed not endured. And exchanging password and laptops may happen since love still dey shack una, but is it really worth it 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: When Your Bae Insists On Investigating Your Past. by avicky(f): 6:31am On Dec 27, 2015 |
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