I've been there, so I know how it feels. They kill your self-esteem and confidence, leaving you dejected and depressed, making you wonder what you did wrong. Everyone is putting the blame on the women. I beg to differ. Their husband should be blamed. They know what happens in the house, they just choose to turn a blind eye. They are still the ones that claim pastor, born again and the rest. They will be the ones that will preach to you, they will be the ones donating money in the church, while the child that lives with them will be starving.
Honestly, Nigerians are wicked and the painful part is that they always cover up their acts with religion.

aameyah:


Imagine. People are talking of child abuse and a fully grown man is saying this?
@bummyla
I'm not watering down your experience bummyla but you HAD a choice. Some 25 year olds are married so what are you talking about?
If you had pride, you would have gone back to the village and started a farm or something. Upon all the suffering, its not like you got an oil job so what are we saying?

Believe me, I stayed with other family from 10 to 14 and it wasn't funny. That is the age range that should complain of not having a choice....In other words, kids. Not adults.

Thanks Man! That Was Almost 10 years ago! I Believe GOD! I Have Recovered All I Had Lost A Thousand Times Over! I Did Not Get The Oil Company Job! But I Am Paid More Than Most Oil Company Employees! Thank You! http://www.bummyla.com

MissAssy:

I left in 2009 after my junior waec, then i saw what i missed when living with them cos my siblings were enjoying life while i was somewhere suffering.

No offense, I guess u are exactly 20 years old now. Tell me if am right or wrong. I have my reasons

MissAssy:
There are some experiences you don't wanna keep to yourself. Mine is what i experienced when i lived with my aunt and her children who are all older than me in 2006.Am gonna make this story as short as possible.Am not much of a writer so please bear with me and share your experiences too.

It started when i went for a vacation at their house in aba. I was 11yrs then and that made it easy for them to brainwash me with fake love using bleach and iron sponge. Well one day like that, my aunt gave me nd my cousin some chores to do and left for market, after i finished mine my cousin tried to cajole me to do hers so i refused but when she tried to drag me inside to beat me or something, my eyes hit the key lock.i thought i ws going to go blind because blood started gushing out of my left eye as if that was not enough she asked me to lie on how i got the accident and that was during the period of my vacation,i thought that was an accident and that such thing wont happen again cos they asked me to live with them which i agreed meanwhile my mom disagreed cos she was maltreated by her aunt when she was little on the other hand my dad agreed cos that is his sister. As time went on,they showed me their true colour.i go to school only 3times in a week except when we have exams.i do all the hard work in the house and they're never satisfied, as an 11yr old girl i fetch water with 25liters of gallon i bet that's why all my siblings are taller than me ,i wake up around 5 every morning to wash the plates, fetch water meanwhile i fetch water every night and the most painful part is that she have sons that can fetch water and am always late for school and am always the last to pay school fees, everyone knows me in school then, most of the time i wont eat breakfast before going to school and i will stay hungry till 4 with nothing in my tummy.i cry myself to sleep every night and they don't care, i hardly smile or laugh when am with them.school is my escape route cos i have a best friend then who buys things like food for me then and help pay for my textbooks then cos am always the last to pay for everything.If i ask her to give me money for a textbook worth 150 she will say she doesn't have meanwhile she will bring money in bundles and count in my presence our school then is a mixed school so i gained alot from boys,at a time our sp stopped punishing me for coming late.Her daughter sends me out at night to buy things for her and if i refuse i will get a beating.whenever my mum or dad visits me, they start treating me well and calling me by my short name which us Muanya instead of Chimuanya they usually blurt out.whenever they cook a new soup i will b the one to eat the old one and by the time i finish it, the new one will b old.when i was in jss2, my lil sis who was around 6 then came for a holiday so one day it rained so hard,u know aba nau with bad road and everything After the rain my aunt asked me to go and buy pepper so i bought dry pepper which they usually use, when i came back she asked me to go and change it that she needs fresh pepper so i told her that we have fresh pepper and she asked me to bring it, when i brought it, it turns out that the pepper has decayed with maggot the next thing i knew she poured the on my face and i didn't even know what i did to deserve that.i thought my heart was going to break,i couldn't even cry but when i turned and saw my lil sis crying, i couldn't hold back my own tears with my heart aching after i washed off the pepper on my face she still asked me to go and change the pepper and it was already dark then.These are just half of the things they did to me and the only thing i regret till now is never running away cos i know they would have alot to answer to everyone if i did.

Lalasticlala please push this for me

I can relate with your experience staying with a relative, but I want you to see everything as a learning process (bad experience though) but you learnt a lot and a time will come that you will earn their respect. Never be out down.

@op, the man of the house failed, no excuse !, from your story you reported going to school 3ce in a week, was he blind to such ? School fees were not paid promptly. was he blind to such ? text books not bought, was he blind to such ? you worked your bum hard till late in the night, was he blind to such ? In many homes, the head of the house are only figure heads, and failed leader of the home. Being a man of the house goes beyond sexing your wife , and doling out cash for home needs to wife, having a firm view and grip of the house is essential. If the said man was truly the head, he would have reined in the wife, and assert his authority in the home.
Additionally, women, women, women ! how many times did i call you ?

Finally, no parent if alive should give out his/her offspring(s) to anyone to train, that is why family planning is key, have the few (2-4) IMO, that you can train.

Hmmm.. I read every single comment.
Thank God I never experienced such, because some human beings are wicked

Everybody should just be careful because u don't know where your own child will need help too.


this has always kept me from misbehaving with other peoples children. Life is full of ups and down.

gabazin080:
No offense, I guess u are exactly 20 years old now. Tell me if am right or wrong. I have my reasons

Right

@chinchum, the man died way before i went there.

MissAssy:
@chinchum, the man died way before i went there.

oh my, i have a better view of it now. Judging by your ability to discuss what happened yesteryears , i am glad you have shed a great deal of the emotional baggages of your experience, and i am certain the experience planted a seed of inner strength in you that will come in handy in the near future.

MissAssy:

Right

alright ma'am. But y the moniker "MISSASSY". Doesn't sound good, people might start adding u thinking u have got a big behind.

Nice DP though

gabazin080:
alright ma'am. But y the moniker "MISSASSY". Doesn't sound good, people might start adding u thinking u have got a big behind.

Nice DP though

Lol, i understand but my name is Assumpta and Assy for short

MissAssy:

Lol, i understand but my name is Assumpta and Assy for short

OK. Nice name.

Can we chat offline? I have my reasons

Parents are to blame for such calamities. You don't birth more than you can cater for and ship some off, that's cruel. Sorry for your experiences OP, it is well.

gabazin080:
OK. Nice name.

Can we chat offline? I have my reasons

Sharp guy.

dustydee:
Sharp guy.

na wa for you oooo. Y u no face front

@MissAssy, this is really sad!


I had my share of this kind of treatment from my late uncle's late wife but luckily for me and my elder brother, we spent about 1-3 months with them. She treated us nice when her husband (my uncle) was around but dealt with us when he was out. We did the chores and ate remnants from the plates of her children.

Can't even talk about what I went thru in the hands of my own mum. In all we go thru, we only become stronger. Thank God you made it out of that situation without loosing your life or one or more important part(s) of your body.

Forget about the height you lost as your beauty more than anything, covers up for the height. Stay strong and determined dear.

aameyah:
Just this morning, my man's mum called me because I'm alone at home presently with him out of town to work and asked that why don't I want a small girl to stay with me? Instead of being lonely.

I was like; Ah, but you know I am rarely at home myself. Im at home weekends only.

Small girl ko, big girl ni. Me that I'm even an introvert. I can never be lonely even if im alone for 1 month.

I have a cleaning woman who comes weekends. That is what I'm comfortable with. Even though I'm planning on changing her, I've gotten another mature lady lined up. Because the first woman is not keeping to the terms we agreed on.

Even the cleaning woman testified I'm the first lady she's working for. She said she can't work for women, they are too wicked. She said she studied me well before agreeing to start the weekly cleaning. Just that I feel she's taking advantage of my magnanimity by not turning up most times and not calling.

I know I'm not the most chatty or the warmest of women. But I can never be wicked or inconsiderate.

God bless my mum. My home was always filled up with children and my mum would treat them just like her own. In fact when I got back from school one time, my mum had a little baby with her and she told me she gave birth to the girl. The way she was acting so lovingly to the baby, I actually believed her and was perplexed, so I'm no longer the only girl. Until the girls mum came to pick her up later in the evening.

Your mum's kind is rare! God bless her really!

Oh my God. This is terrible. Now I understand the reason everyone thinks every 'Anty' is wicked. Woe unto wicked people.

Op You will be great and in fact greater than her children and she will curse each day she misbehaved towards you.

So sorry dear.

The solution is that parents should stop giving their children out to stay with people or relatives except those that are known to be kind from past records. maltreatment of live in relatives or maids is not new. pls drink garri with ur children in ur house and keep them safe. some hv been permanently scarred/ maimed or accidently or deliberately killed oo! @ op, thank God u are alright now. U even look like aje butter now

softandmoist:
Sometimes I don't care to share this story, but I feel doing so will lessen the pain I feel with time. When I lost my dad my mom's younger sis told my mom that she wants to help me further my education. I was just out of secondary and had my baby.

I can't put down all that she did to me and the innocent baby boy.
Tell me to go to a neighbor's kiosk and collect tgings on credit, then lie to them that I misplaced the money and I will pay back. I did this so much the woman wanted to arrest me. When I asked her she told me that until I am covered by the earth like my father I should never ask her again.
She would insult my dad who wasn't even 2 weeks in the grave, call me a witch because soldier aunys entered the house.
She said I would never prosper, that no man would marry me, that my father ruined my mom's life and that how I'll end up. I can't forget, ever, even though I've forgiven her.
She'll beat me, force me to eat rubbish, as old as I was one day she just called my name and I peed on my body. It was that bad. I was like a mumu. Her baby that is just learning to talk will say I beat her, and she would beat me in return. She will tell me to feed her baby before my 9 month old baby. She said no one would imagine my son eating noodles in his life. Only pap, no milk. A growing baby.
Ah!
One day my sis came and saw me and wrote to my mom that if she doesn't come and take me away from there that she'll run away with me and she'll never find us again. That ended the episode. I forgave her.
When I was prepping for my wedding she started acting all friendly, said she knows someone who can make exotic aso oke outfits. We sent the money in August for a wedding that was to take place in December. Do you know as at Nov 30 not a single thread had been woven. I had to rush to agege to get emergency one made. She collected 70k for our 35k traditional wedding cake, told me it was 100k and she was paying for the balance.

I didn't do anything to this woman. I didn't ask to be related to her. The worst pain in my life comes from living with her. She would tell me to wash pad and reuse for menses, make me trek from Asa dam to post office.

I thank God for Me too. I have really disappointed her.

hmmm. wash pad for reuse. I've never heard of such invention. "Patience" said mother hen to the chicks "whatever is hot will get cold "

It feels good knowing some of the victims on here have moved on and forgiven what seemed like irreparable psychological damages brought upon them by so called relatives.