Testing, testing 1,2,3, yeah yeah, its your boy ezteem again, and I've got free time to write again, and I'll bringing you funny experiences like this every once in a while. Feel free to hate though.... Its allowed

Just like I always say, I love fictions....but real story is my thing, just gimme your eyes and your imagination.

Like you all know from my previous stories, I'm was mischievous growing up, so lemme take you back to 12years...no, no, 14years ago ....

I had just finished common entrance, 524/600, best in my class, mother was proud. So I mostly didn't have to read much except when I prepared for the interview that came after it, I was seeking admission into king's college, which I got in flying colours(floreat! to all KCOB's on NL)

Do You know the saying "monkey see...monkey do". That's the basis of my story, you see, there's a beer parlour just in front of my house, and we go there to buy soft drinks, and pure water bag, we see people smoking cigarette,drinking and lavishing life ...
Same way you go to bus parks and you see conductors smoking and calling OJUELEBGA! OJUELEGBA!..and the agbero boys with their thick scary voices "OGA PAY MONEY FOR LOADING", they also have sticks of cigarette in their hands.... All these things register into your brain unconsciously, when you seat on your brothers lap in the danfo bus waiting for it to fill up....

Another thing that registers is the way we scoop up the chalk powder from our classrooms. And make cigarettes, if you can relate .
So here starts my story, my younger sis, younger cousins and I were role playing ,

NB: role playing is like, mummy and daddy, market woman and buyer .

But today we choose to play as driver, conductor and agbero, and as the oldest, I was the agbero.... We don play for a few hours, It was getting boring, so as the creative one, I decided to step up the fun, I tore a few sheets of paper and lit it, dragged and puffed..... All I said in my head was
"wow so this is all about their smoking, so what's the hard thing there"
So I made a few more sticks and shared it, the room was getting cloudy after a few stick and we were catching our fun.... And GHEN GHEN.......... my elder bros came back from school...

Looking tired after a heavy sun beating, he was attending GCL eric-moore at that time.

After a few slaps , he threatened to tell mummy, that's was where I experienced the first ever blackmail of my life... He didn't even send the rest. He just rained everything on me.

I ran his errands, washed his clothes, polished his sandals.... And as an african kid, we always see meat as the reward for eating, but my brother started eating my meat,
Oh jesus, see my life ... Meatless, fishless, moneyless.... I went on for a month and slowly I summoned courage. One day, my uncle came from abj to visit us, and when he was leaving, he dashed us all 500 naira each.... A whole 500 naira , can you believe my brother wanted that money?
I told him, "you can go ahead and tell mummy, its been 1month I'll just deny". I never knew that experience comes with age, and he was wiser, more experienced and didn't even send me.
All he said was "if I count 5, and you don't gimme that money, I'll report you"

I played deaf, and 1, 2, 3, 4,4and half , 4-one quarter, 5, he entered the parlour and told mumsy..... I immediately followed and said it was a lie...... Unknown to me, my wicked brother had already kept all the souvenir from the smoking at a safe, secret position so we'll never spoil his business(I'm now his office)... he just brought it out, and from my countenance, mumsy knew it was true....

"What will I do with this boy" my mumsy asked , go and bring my cane,she called the boys that serve her, the held me tight and mumsy started flogging, KPAA,.....1, I screamed ,my brother laughed, but as a bad guy I didn't want him to have the last laugh. So I hardened my nyash KPAA.....2, I chest am, 3,4,5,6 and I didn't want to show weakness.... "So you have grown strong abi? , ZEBEZEE, come and help me flog this boy,
Now lemme tell you about zebedee, he's one of my mumsy's boys, the leader, the muscular one, he got muscular from years of carrying cylinder gas that my mumsy sells... Yoruba go call am "EBA IGBO" .... He's short and muscle packed ...

Back to my story, I knew in my mind that I was all over.... I was fond of insulting zebedee and calling him short man.... And he couldn't touch his madam's son nah... But today,(oh God please help me). He gave me a coy smile and rubbed the cane as he warmed his shoulders....

The other guys held me tight and.....

KABLAM,,,,, electric ran through my brain, shock waves through my spine, my nyash was telling me "boy this is a new kind of pain", it was asking me to die so it doesn't feel this pain.. With my last power like samson, I pulled my self off their hold, screamed like a wounded lion, with my ass burning hot, I ran to the new aquarium my mumsy bought, and sat on it...I didn't care if the fish will bite....

I don't know maybe I heard a sizzle sound, all I could remember was I sighed with relief , and my nyash temperature was brought to normal.... As I look up The whole people that we trying to flog and kill me we just falling around the sitting room, come see laughter .and zebedee was feeling like Achilles of troy .. Mumsy had to forgive me, the first zebedee stroke was like 24strokes that she proposed .... Until zebedee left the house to start up his own shop.... I never commited a felony in that house again....

I hope you enjoyed it...please feel free to hate .... Till I write you another story, its your boy ezteem..bye

Lolzz

I'll read when you trim down the thing

IamLEGEND1:
I'll read when you trim down the thing

When will you ever stop being lazy to read


Your first born go suffer o, if na gal!

IamLEGEND1:
I'll read when you trim down the thing

Ahh... My biggest hater .... I know say you love me die ...*nohomo*. I forgot to mention your hate before starting this story...please forgive me sir .... But I see you love this one since you no put your regular (picture hate)

donTbone:
When will you ever stop being lazy to read Your first born go suffer o, if na gal!

oya give me summary so me too fit type "lolz"

IamLEGEND1:
I'll read when you trim down the thing

Ahh... My biggest hater .... I know say you love me die ...*nohomo*. I forgot to mention your hate before starting this story...please forgive me sir .... But I see you love this one since you no put your regular (picture hate)

Please give your babe this story to read, she'll laugh and love you more ....

To all that laughed , more will come your way soon ....

lmao, zebedee too brutal o

IamLEGEND1:
oya give me summary
so me too fit type "lolz"

The joy of the lord is your strength, like akpororo says, if my joke no make you laugh................then even elijah no fit solve your problems

[quote author=IamLEGEND1 post=39739518][/quote]

That's what I'm talking about .... The guy that like s attention. Always putting pictures to make a point,....QUESTION: how this guy even read comprehension when him write waec and jamb? Ans: it was summerized into picture for him....

Attention seeker, maybe you can apply makeup, and upload, it'll catch NL's attention

[quote author=IamLEGEND1 post=39739729][/quote]

.

ezteem:

.

.

IamLEGEND1:
oya give me summary
so me too fit type "lolz"

Am coming, mah go read am

donTbone:


Am coming, mah go read am

You see ur life?

IamLEGEND1:

You see ur life?

No o! I dey look for my glasses when I posted the other time!

naijaboiy:
When you can't do something without caring what people have to say is the beginning of your problems.

What's with you and "haters"?

Can't you just do your thing happily without being scared of criticism?

Or you think everybody will like what you do?

In my village, when you break kolanut, you'll first greet everybody and the gods(good and bad ones)

So funny!

Really funny...