1.

Hi, I have an issue, and as you can tell, my username is 'hideme' that is because I don't want to be known as the person I'm going to talk about in this post is also a prominent Nairalander...and also all names I'm going to use in this post and not real names...I jus want advice from everyone as much as possible....thanks.

And I know its very long, but please and please and please, try and read it.


My name is wale and I meet this girl on Nairaland more than a year ago, her name is winifred, we got talking and we started dating. The problem here was, I stay at one end of lagos and she stays at the other end, so we can't see, then I school in lagos and her school is outside lagos. So yes, it was a long distance relationship..


But we were cool until I resumed school, I was no longer having time to call or text her or chat with her, was boxed up with school activities, and network services in my school are very poor from all networks, not that I was seeing someone else. In fact I did not date any other girl or ask another girl out till now. well because of "no time" we called it off....till middle this year, we got together again.

At that time she was dating someone else, but regular convince me that I was the real person she loved, she had issues with the guy and they broke up. So It was just me and her.

She got back home after her exams, and weeks later, there is this dude that has been stalking her, she did not tell me initially (cos she always does,nt. But I really don't care) I found out through her dairy on Nairaland. Joked with her about it, and sha she told me she likes him but not really interested in dating him told me his name is abel. Well. weeks past and I was following their relationship on her dairy, even if most times she tell me her self or just send a copy of her post to me on whatsapp.

So one day(some days ago), she added me to a group chat on BBM. Just me, wini and abel. I was at first wondering why I'm talking to him, or why we are even here, or what her intentions were. She then said abel did not believe that she was in a relationship, so she added me so we can't boast about how we love ourselves in order to discourage abel. Truth be told, I did not like her plan but I just had to plan along. every word I said the boy countered it and said he was going to do even more, that he wanted me to come over so I can watch winifred tell him yes in my front, that I would attend their wedding, he said a lot of stuffs like that and he was very very very bold and extremely Confident about it. I became scared for winifred, left the chat, and sent her a msg immediately.....that. Exactly went like this:
(I won't uploads screenshots cos our real names would show)

(Nov 8, 6:55pm - 6:56pm)(BBM)
Winifred:
Winifred: I love you

Me: I love you too
Me: but we need to discuss
Me: you need to delete that guy from your life
Me: Entirely
Me: start by deleting his contact
Me: he sounds dangerous


(Nov 8; 9:04pm - 9:16pm)
Winifred: Really?

Me: I just feel he is

Winifred: I kinda like him but I can't date him or any gut at all

Me: Well.......I warned you

Winifred: Okay


(Nov 8, 9:36pm - 9:42pm) (Whatsapp)

Winifred: I want to have a fling with abel

Me: Hmmmmm

Winifred: Advice me

Me: I already did
Me: if you can't stick to it, do something close to it

Winifred: Hmmmm



(Nov 9; 11:43am - 11:59am)
Me: Hey
Me: Good morning

Winifred: He's at my house
Winifred: Abel

Me: Hmmmmm
Me: O.Y.O

Winifred: Chill
Winifred: Trust me okay?
Winifred: I love you

Me: I love you too


We spoke that day sha, then on tuesday too. I made a logo on tuesday to use in a blog I'm tryna set up, she asked me to put her name, I told her I can't, that is for official use and not a personal thing. She said but she is my bae, I told her I know.
Then.....

(Nov 10, 9:25pm - 9:42pm )(whatsapp)
Winifred: You didn't even ask about abel anymore

Me: I believe you might had dismissed him

Winifred: Exactly
Winifred: He tried to kiss me
Winifred: I asked him to leave
Winifred: I kissed him sha
Winifred: Just short kiss
Winifred: I regret
Winifred: It's no big deal sha
Winifred: I only kissed him to make him lemme
Winifred: I've deleted him from everywhere

Me: Lol
Me: Good
Me: Avoid him coming to your house too
Me: I'm sorry I'm now answering quick. Still very much busy.........

And we talked futher sha...

The point I said "lol" I wanted to say "I hope its not too late already 'cos of the kiss' but I did not want to put pressure on her plus I was more scared, so I did not know what to say, and I had to say something so i just said "lol" but actually, there is nothing funny about what she said.


......

2.
wednesday morning, she sent me a message FIRST! Saying "hi" so I replied but she was not replying so fast and she was replying me with one one word (no, nothing, ok), so I asked if she was busy, the next thing I saw was " leave me alone" with red angry whatsapp emoji. And I was shocked! So I tried to know what's was wrong, she kept telling me to leave her, so I replied saying I can't until, that telling me that only tells me there is a problem and I needed to find out the issue. And I said I pray is not about abel. Then I also said I don't like the way she pushes me away when she has issues and only talks to me when she needs something during her issues. Cos I'm my mind, I only thought she had a little issue and maybe someone annoyed her or something. She replied with "lol, I love you" then I replied with a sad faced emoji.
Then she said...

U don't need advice. U re a super storyteller

Goodluck with ur 3some

3.

(Wednesday Nov 11, 11:26am)(take note of the capitalised words)

Winifred: I had a rush of a negative mood swing. I was angry. I DIDN'T KNOW WHY. It happens to me once in a while. That's why I asked that you left me alone. I didn't hear my phone ringing when you called. I have a Nokia torchlight remember? My MTN sim is in it. I am at my sister's shop now. The messages you typed revealed how you see me. You said I only contact you when I need your help. So you think I'm using you? I am so annoyed right now. I apologise on my path for the way I acted and I'm glad you just told me how you felt I treat you but HAVE IT IN MY FROM NOW ON THAT THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME BETWEEN US.

.......

I read the story., but I don't understand the "fear " there

F, NL has to many restrictions, I can't even post my issue finish

As u carry this kind woman matter for head, May ur days be long...



*i wana have a fling with Abel*


.....Iranu, Abasha

amokeme:
I read the story., but I don't understand the "fear " there

NL is not allowing me complete it.

4.

ME: I don't know why I feel this is all abel's handwork, I feel he is 100% responsible for us having issues now, Like I just knew we were going to have issues, And you will end up dating him then he'll be laughing at me(am not concluding, just saying), That kiss, Its not ordinary, It some kind of jazz, juju or something, He was sounding so confident that day, I knew he had a plan, And luckily for him, its working, Sad for me.

........

5.

That's why I said you should keep away from him, well you did not. But gladly you did yesterday after all those stuff. I wanted to tell you "I hope its not too late" but I did not want to look doubtful and was just happy.

.........

6.

Now you said hi first then you told me to leave you alone and you picked offence in what I said. This does not exactly make sense unless there is an external influence...

......

7.

Mind you, it was not the first time I told her what I told her! NO! She rarely and almost had never picked offence in what I said. No! Then she told me to call her. We talked and we 'to me' settled.
She asked me why I think its abel, I told her I just think he is the one.

........

8.

We talk every now and then sha so we still discussed a lot and she was picking offence in almost every thing I said. But still managed to tell me she love me on thursday. After we ended that day on good terms even tho I had to start selecting what I say, which is something av never done with her since last year. I was the one now replying with one words so as not to get into trouble. Friday also started well. But I think, the guy came visiting again that day! In the evening she told me about how she deleted her IG acct and turned it to a fashion page, I also have a IG acct for fashion, so I jokingly said if that was what gave her inspiration and if she was bringing competition straight to me. That was it o, and she picked serious offence I told her I was just joking that they are over 30 IG pages on fashion only so why would I be Serious about hers causing competition? She proved to me that it was her friend who convinced her and I was like, nice, welcome onboard, then she said I was disappointingly annoying. And said goodnight. She was still angry

..........

9.

Then on saturday I sent her series of messages, she read all and replied none. I told her to say something and she replied with a full stop "." I sent a pic of myself to lighting up the air and she said I was ugly, I joked with her that she loves it, she said not any more.

I did not understand why she was angry at me. So I asked and she said

"You are beyond change. Just leave me alone. I mean it. I've had enough of you and your attitude. I told you things can never be the same with us anymore. It's small things that annoy ne. Just let me be. Don't force me to like you"

To me, I did not change! Something is making her feel I'm changed. So I told her, its not true, that I do joke a lot, and she knows that, and the way she had been picking offences from me in the last days were too much.

She said I should stop typing that I'm disturbing her, that she would block me...

At this point I was shocked!
I replied with "WHAT?"

I quickly said, "winifred, this is not you! I swear to God"

She said "No! Don't you get? Leave me alone!"

I told her she is under an external influence

And Gbam!!! She Blocked me.
Just like that..

.........

10.

I was totally confused, this her new behaviour was strange. We have had more serious issue than this but she has never even threatened to block me or it has never been this serious. My concern mostly is I don't know how what I said can me so annoying to this point.

I spoke to my friends about it, and they all advised to to move on (as usual). One told me to send her a text and I wrote

"Hi there! Well I just text to say, I'm sorry, I know its not what you want to hear cos actually, you don't want to hear anything from me, well I consider this new attitude of yours very very strange too, but I guess the least I can do now is not to convince you, but to pray for you. Be sure I would. But also try to keep away from Abel, so as you've kept me away, cos I am very convinced he is the reason for all these. And even tho I'm no longer important to you now. I just want you to live the best life you can. Wale"

My friends help me reduce the shock and pressure. So I was quite okay. I prayed for her in the night and this morning also. I'm not sad she broke up with me, I'm sad about the manner she did, and time(considering all that is happening), I'm okay to move on and forget her but my fear is, I might be right, she might had been charmed, and if this is true, I am the only one that knows which leaves me in the position of the only person that can save her.

I'm really confused. Should I leave her? Is it normal? Do you think she is 100% okay? Do you think I was the one at fault and I deserve everything? I'm I just being too scared?

And (to her only)
If you're reading this now, and you figure out its you, please, pretend like you did not see it. You have placed me in fear already, and I'm just here to reduce that. Sorry if I had to let out a lot of private stuffs.

Thatz it!

amokeme:
I read the story., but I don't understand the "fear " there

I've completed it.

summary please

Estharfabian:
Op, You just Joined NL?

You obviously haven't learnt Howtah "Quote" People..

I did not just join. I had to mask myself in a new acct.

Michellla:
summary please

Please take your time to read all of it. Please.

commitcrime:
U don't need advice. U re a super storyteller

Goodluck with ur 3some

Please take your time to read it. Please.

rexkexmilan:
Summary Please!

OP Sorry, Reading Ain't My Hubby .

Neither do I like typing, but please take your time to read it.

Hideme:
Hi, I have an issue, and as you can tell, my username is 'hideme' that is because I don't want to be known as the person I'm going to talk about in this post is also a prominent Nairalander...and also all names I'm going to use in this post and not real names...I jus want advice from everyone as much as possible....thanks.


My name is wale and I meet this girl on Nairaland more than a year ago, her name is winifred, we got talking and we started dating. The problem here was, I stay at one end of lagos and she stays at the other end, so we can't see, then I school in lagos and her school is outside lagos. So yes, it was a long distance relationship..


But we were cool until I resumed school, I was no longer having time to call or text her or chat with her, was boxed up with school activities, and network services in my school are very poor from all networks, not that I was seeing someone else. In fact I did not date any other girl or ask another girl out till now. well because of "no time" we called it off....till middle this year, we got together again.

At that time she was dating someone else, but regular convince me that I was the real person she loved, she had issues with the guy and they broke up. So It was just me and her.

She got back home after her exams, and weeks later, there is this dude that has been stalking her, she did not tell me initially (cos she always does,nt. But I really don't care) I found out through her dairy on Nairaland. Joked with her about it, and sha she told me she likes him but not really interested in dating him told me his name is abel. Well. weeks past and I was following their relationship on her dairy, even if most times she tell me her self or just send a copy of her post to me on whatsapp.

So one day(some days ago), she added me to a group chat on BBM. Just me, wini and abel. I was at first wondering why I'm talking to him, or why we are even here, or what her intentions were. She then said abel did not believe that she was in a relationship, so she added me so we can't boast about how we love ourselves in order to discourage abel. Truth be told, I did not like her plan but I just had to plan along. every word I said the boy countered it and said he was going to do even more, that he wanted me to come over so I can watch winifred tell him yes in my front, that I would attend their wedding, he said a lot of stuffs like that and he was very very very bold about it. I became scared for winifred, left the chat, and sent her a msg immediately.....that. Exactly went like this:
(I won't uploads screenshots cos our real names would show)

(Nov 8, 6:55pm - 6:56pm)(BBM)
Winifred:
Winifred: I love you

Me: I love you too
Me: but we need to discuss
Me: you need to delete that guy from your life
Me: Entirely
Me: start by deleting his contact
Me: he sounds dangerous


(Nov 8; 9:04pm - 9:16pm)
Winifred: Really?

Me: I just feel he is

Winifred: I kinda like him but I can't date him or any gut at all

Me: Well.......I warned you

Winifred: Okay


(Nov 8, 9:36pm - 9:42pm) (Whatsapp)

Winifred: I want to have a fling with abel

Me: Hmmmmm

Winifred: Advice me

Me: I already did
Me: if you can't stick to it, do something close to it

Winifred: Hmmmm



(Nov 9; 11:43am - 11:59am)
Me: Hey
Me: Good morning

Winifred: He's at my house
Winifred: Abel

Me: Hmmmmm
Me: O.Y.O

Winifred: Chill
Winifred: Trust me okay?
Winifred: I love you

Me: I love you too


We spoke that day sha, then on tuesday too. I made a logo on tuesday to use in a blog I'm tryna set up, she asked me to put her name, I told her I can't, that is for official use and not a personal thing. She said but she is my bae, I told her I know.
Then.....

(Nov 10, 9:25pm - 9:42pm )(whatsapp)
Winifred: You didn't even ask about abel anymore

Me: I believe you might had dismissed him

Winifred: Exactly
Winifred: He tried to kiss me
Winifred: I asked him to leave
Winifred: I kissed him sha
Winifred: Just short kiss
Winifred: I regret
Winifred: It's no big deal sha
Winifred: I only kissed him to make him lemme
Winifred: I've deleted him from everywhere

Me: Lol
Me: Good
Me: Avoid him coming to your house too
Me: I'm sorry I'm now answering quick. Still very much busy.........

And we talked futher sha...

The point I said "lol" I wanted to say "I hope its not too late already 'cos of the kiss' but I did not want to put pressure on her plus I was more scared, so I did not know what to say, and I had to say something so i just said "lol" but actually, there is nothing funny about what she said.


......

you this boy... i catch you finally,
so, you have the audacity to bring up our issues for the whole wide world..

who does that?

see.. i am breaking up with you again..
dont even bother to beg.. wont work

Story too fücking long. From your caption. Ex-girlfriend. She's on her own now. Move the fück on.



Next!

@hideme I want to tell a few little things. Yeah I know there is no point crying over spilt milk but let this guide u for future references. The probability of meeting a gal online and dating her without her still enjoying the company of other online bobos, flirting. with them is 2.3% . Now from what you have said u guys are far apart so do you think phone or whatsapp can replace the emotional/intimacy needs ur woman craves for. That's obviously the reason why she allowed him come over and allowed him kiss her. Now my final point is this no matter how much u love a woman never I repeat never give her a free hand. Be in control be the Boss. Let ur word be final. She will latter thank u for being a loving and firm boyfriend who prevented her from stirring away

obiorathesubtle:
Story too fücking long. From your caption. Ex-girlfriend. She's on her own now. Move the fück on.



Next!

No please, read all through, please, I really need advice on something else, not moving forward. Please I know your time is precious but please read it.

She is not under any influence. Abel is giving her what you can't give her. To he frank with you, She is gone and she was looking for an excuse to get rid of you and it was a very flimsy one she held on to. Imagine if Winifred was your wife and she said to you she just kissed another man, what will your reaction be? Ponder over it like brain

ceny6:
@hideme I want to tell a few little things. Yeah I know there is no point crying over spilt milk but let this guide u for future references. The probability of meeting a gal online and dating her without her still enjoying the company of other online bobos, flirting. with them is 2.3% . Now from what you have said u guys are far apart so do you think phone or whatsapp can replace the emotional/intimacy needs ur woman craves for. That's obviously the reason why she allowed him come over and allowed him kiss her. Now my final point is this no matter how much u love a woman never I repeat never give her a free hand. Be in control be the Boss. Let ur word be final. She will latter thank u for being a loving and firm boyfriend who prevented her from stirring away

Thank you sir... But it does not end there...it continues please read to the end.

Hideme:


No please, read all through, please, I really need advice on something else, not moving forward. Please I know your time is precious but please read it.

ohh gaaaad! I fücking hate my soft heart! Okay. I'll read

camaraderi:
She is not under any influence. Abel is giving her what you can't give her. To he frank with you, She is gone and she was looking for an excuse to get rid of you and it was a very flimsy one she held on to. Imagine if Winifred was your wife and she said to you she just kissed another man, what will your reaction be? Ponder over it like brain

First. Thank you for completely reading it. Then I would think over your reply.

she blocked u?

Wow, cool, so end of the long story...

Get some sleep bra, you've done A LOT of typing... You need to rest.


And about d girl, she's Ex now, concentrate on creating and recreating!


BTW this is d season of breakups