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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You (8506 Views)
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Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 7:50pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown:Plz pple kindly ask her what put d mark on my face dat day,mayb it was d witch in my village.my wife is stubborn and cold blooded and can do anything. U accused me coz of d fake prophesy u were given before the prophesy u Neva had any issue wit d same ex dat u helped to get a part time job when I was dating u.woman say d truth and let pple know how to help u.i wonder how u will bring up our daughter wit all these lies. My ex Neva called me @ nite. Even d txt she sent I showed it to u and I Neva invited her to PH. D day u started d accusation was when u were given d fake prophesy, dat was y u slapped me after d counseling coz of phone call. I ended d relationship wit d girl and married u y then wud I b asking her to come to PH to start our life.does dat make any sense.mind u as at d time u are talking of now I was squatting wit 4 friends in 1 room in PH. My dear speak d truth and don't lie all in d name of scoring points or making me look bad like u have been doing, when pple do not know d truth. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 7:51pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
phatxplorer: Mr hubby. I find it a bit difficult to believe you to vbe honest. HOW COME you started this whole saga with 'my wife has traditional marriage pictures with another man' you said nothing about her hitting you with iron poles which I think is much more terrible than that. Please we want proof. You can munch the Facebook chat on your phone and upload. Also we would like to see all these videos of her beating you like a mad woman. Shikena 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 8:03pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Babygirlfl where you dey oo |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 8:04pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
This marriage right now is heavy with hatred and bitterness. No one is owning their stuff everyone is the victim of abuse. The part where the wife texted "I don born ooo" made me laff I know I know serious stuff. Everyone has their pastors giving advice and prophecies. Maybe it's time you two sit down and ask yourselves if you want the marriage or not and if you do what are the rules. If you don't maybe a trial separation will clear your heads and possibly give clarity on the way forward to be or not to be. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 8:13pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
The 2 stories are miles apart and no one seems to want to accept their role towards the situation at hand I also see an undertone of pastors and prophesys . . . . .Be careful!!!!!!! A word is enough for the wise. You both need to ask yourselves and each other if you want the marriage to continue or not. If yes then you both need to work very hard at putting all this behind you and starting again. . .. very hard especially after all the violence and bitterness but it is achievable. You need to make promises to each other that some things will never happen again such as violence in any form & inappropriate relationships etc Write it down if need be and both agree and sign it and keep a copy. Something written on paper that you can refer to makes it more easy to remember what you both agreed to. Also another thing to remember is that parents and family can be very biased. Its human nature, They also have very long memories and even if and when you kiss and make up, they wont forget and may not forgive. Again be careful on what you share with extended families. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 8:32pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
andromida:Thanks a lot for ur contribution, u are truelly correct.ve tried talking to her to sit down let's talk of d way forward but the interference of her parents has not really helped.right now my wife said I can't talk to her anything I want to discuss now should b wit her father coz he is d 1 handling d issue, so where do u want me to start from when our every discussion and plans as man and wife is subject to approval she gets from her parents.it seems am d 1 pushing for d marriage, recently d father sent me a txt asking me to plz start divorce proceeding. Wishing me a happy and blissful future.wud ve loved to paste d txt but I don't wanna disrespect any1. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by susubrown(f): 8:38pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 8:43pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown:Nobody maltreated u, instead u maltreated me and made me felt worthless to the extent it affected my job and I was suspended from work for 10months without coz I cud not hold it together when I almost went mad. Ur parents were aware of the wedding thing if not after telling ur mum y wud her only comment b is it ur picture, go and bring dem back.plus in d pix were ur siblings and other relations. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 8:43pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown: phatxplorer: Okay Why are you both here? To wash dirty linen, point fingers at each other or are you both here to seek a lasting solution to the problems in your marriage? What are your expectations both of you? Where do you want to go from here? so people know what to advise you both. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 8:54pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
phatxplorer: If you've been abusive towards her I can understand where her Father is coming from because you know when you talked about recording her while she beat you up it seems to me you set her up. You know her anger and used it against her I am not blaming you just pointing out that you had your own agenda and I just have to ask what was it? 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by brossam2001(m): 8:57pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
We can only give advice for both of you..we can't decide the fate of your Holy matrimony. Naira landers this matter is a longgggggggggg story, it started even before the marriage I don't want to go deeper. Mr and Mrs exit from nairaland and go and settle your differences at home... It makes no sense discussing all these in public. The people here are above 30 Years going to their 40 ties , so they are suppose to be mature people. Mr. She is your wife call her now and she will hear , discuss the way forward and both of you should sign it and always remind each other of the document. Wish you well, may peace reign . shalom 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by susubrown(f): 9:03pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Mmmmmm,well I have decided to end this tin for my sanity.well mr a I apologise for what ever I have done but truth is I can't sit and watch u abuse and insult me,its killing and life draining. nairaland I know I have my fault and am working on them but I had been treated like an animal. I cannot continue with this violence and the cycle has to break,tacke the issues and stop trying to blackmail me. Remember u put my pic on what's up pic and wrote prostitue on it now this.plsssss for the sake of m child let peace reign.u always claimed I deceived u into marriage,i am willing to let go plsssssss let peace reign!abeg |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 9:03pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown: I really want to know is there any truth in what he is saying about you hitting him. Please be very honest here |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 9:04pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown: Your husband believes you mistreat him maybe you should actually listen to him and hear what he wants from you. I know you are fed up but for whatever reason you married him one last chance you don't have to rush back to be together. You can build a whole new different relationship because whatever you had looks washed up maybe something new can grow. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 9:09pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
susubrown:Am not here to score any point my wife but to say d truth so dat neutral pple will see everything as it is.her father I meet we sat down for 4 hours to discussed and he promised me he was going to talk to his daughter I should gve him 2 weeks, only to come back some days later wit dat txt coz my wife told him I called her and ogbanje. But did not ask my wife what she called me before I called her dat. The truth is dat my parents inlaw do not want her in my house for reasons I can not share here.u know my wife is d first daughter and d only 1 working. U leave where u have stayed b4 na but u have Neva stayed in my house but ur parents place only come to my house as if we are just BF and GF.i don't touch ur phones except u collect my phones and start calling numbers on my phone.i Neva chase u or beat u, whenever I try sitting down to talk to u what do I get insults to d extent u tell me dat am talking rubbish and say dat u are a graduate and not 1 village girl, dat if I want someone dat will do watever. I should go and marry a village. U guys need to see what I have gone in d hands of this woman, even this woman went as far starting a building project witout me knowing uptil now which she started when I was suspended from work.Now I can't even think straight Na only God dey see me tru.her plans is make me not b involved in my daughters life by taking her away from me. I Neva expected dat this is what I wud get in marriage.i Neva planned for this. Funny enough we still call each other my husband and my wife on nairaland. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 9:22pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
andromida:Thank u andromida @least some1 understands where am coming from,my wife treats me like shit, even when I do everything to make her happy.i sit her down to tell her d things she does dat I don't like but she always feels am trying to intimidate her saying she is. A big girl and a graduate dat if I want a girl to do d things am talking about I should have married a village small girl. She does not respect me insults me @ will and even goes to her family to insult me calling me names.she does not listen to me but other pple and her parents especially on issues concerning our home.even to d extent she shares our plans @ home wit her parents in details.when I try to let her understand dat it's not like dat she become angry and tell me shut up, my dear if I say 1 she wud say 100.i have suffered a lot in her hands that it now looks like am d woman while she is d man.friends no longer come to our house especially my friends coz she hates all of them. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by susubrown(f): 9:23pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Me build which house,if he wants to talk can't he talk without beatings and bringing my parents into it,its un called for.i have never hit him instead my scars are my witness I give up.my mum is working oooooa and my dad is a pensioner,they are not your issue,face Your martial issue plssssss |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by brossam2001(m): 9:32pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
"Funny enough we still call each other my husband and my wife on nairaland." I like that part lolllll. These couples are comedians..... I go dye ....come see trainees. May peace reign . shalom |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by babygirlfl: 9:44pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
fem29: I dey hear my dear. How are you and the family? |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 9:57pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
brossam2001:@ sulieman I now my wife involved u in this to bear her witness but truelly am tempted to react to ur comment but on a second tot I wud rather stay calm and wiat for d day I wud see u so we can talk.she is ur friend and she has told u these things and we live in d same town u Neva cared to say let me know what's happening from this man's own perspective.when ever u call her or she calls u, u only ask is ur husband and Dats d end. Even while we were courting and we had issues ur advice to her was don't put ur egg in 1 basket. I first day I saw u @ 1st junction wit my wife when we were preparing for wedding, my wife left me and went to see u wit d courtesy of excusing herself and u just looked at me from d taxi witout saying hello.well all dat is in d past now and am not angry oooo, all am trying to say is dat if u really have her interest @ heart u wud have called me or even come to my house to say look at what my friend told me ooo,not coming here to support her claims witout hearing from me.do u really know ur friend and what she can do? Plz I don't wanna go into details. But u know dat she does not follow me to church instead she calls u to come and talk her to ur own church. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 10:00pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Divorce biko, you are in a polygamous or polyandrous marriage. 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by taryour(f): 10:55pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
I dont know why but i believe the husband version of the story ( BUT am totally against him beating his wife, its a NO NO ) reason why i believe the husband is because a woman that can take her EX pix into her home can kill her husband. She is not emotionalu seperated from her ex. And to the husband: why is your ex number always on your call log everytime your wife goes thru your call log Why chat with an EX on facebook This issue is so complicated. 2 Likes |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by bellong: 10:57pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Phatxplorer and susubrown, This is not what you resolve on the internet. You need the service of a psychologist for therapy sessions for the two of you. It is obvious you both have anger management issues. Nevertheless, the problem with the union is the foundation. Your foundation is faulty. Whatever you are experiencing now are what you guys never failed to deal with before tying the knot. I believe it is not completely over, it can still be salvaged. You can get to address foundational issues on a sincere note. Express your grievances to each other not with the mind of winning the day from any party but with a view to finding a lasting solution. Treat each other with respect, dignity and get to learn what the true meaning of LOVE is. Marriage is a beautiful thing for parties who are opened and sincere with themselves. Above all, you both need Jesus. I wish you both peace and a lasting solution to your challenges. 4 Likes |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by susubrown(f): 11:08pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
I am not emotionally attached to my ex,i have not talked to him since 2007 when we broke up,i carried the bag with my belonging to his house,the visa application and the pictures. Y is it now he is complaining about it,he has never mentioned this matter once and I am surprised he decided to bring it to nairia land.a yes I am a bad person,continue,u will curse me pains only for a while but God will repay u back,everypain and heart break u have caused me |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Acidosis(m): 11:19pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by raumdeuter: 11:20pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
How is brossam involved in this Abeg Like I always advise abeg make both of una divorce sharply |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by cococandy(f): 11:29pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Don't know who to believe but brossam who I suppose is neutral in this matter has seen the bruises on madam's face which looks as bad as if she was attacked by robbers. I believe you can sort things out except that you've added violence to your issues which for me is always a deal breaker. So before one of you kills the other, kindly stay apart for now. BTW how's the child in this marriage being taken care of? 1 Like |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by cococandy(f): 11:30pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
fem29:Lol. Funny you |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Nobody: 11:32pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
wow what a tale. I pray God heals your marriage. Mr Op and the wife give peace a chance. Op leave your ego, I know you are hurt cos of the pics please she is your wife. Stop the beating pls. Mrs susu pls forgive and accept your husband for the sake of your baby girl. One of the greatest danger to any marriage is third parties especially exes. From henceforth Op stop contacting your ex if it would make your wife happy. I hope to hear good.news soon. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by Acidosis(m): 11:45pm On Nov 23, 2015 |
Until people see their exes as enemies of progress, it would be hard to move on successfully in any new relationship. Do not make an EX your friend (end it at hi - hi). Whether your ex is jobless or not shouldn't be your concern. I'm certain there are more jobless folks in the extended families looking for jobs. Exes will destroy your homes, they have nothing to offer other than the old emotions that never truly die. We only tend to suppress the feeling with time and distance. When distance is cutoff, emotions come back instantly! Then you begin to wonder why it never worked btw you two! Attention divided! Your wife's soup now taste salty or bitter! Same soup you ate some days before you met the EX. It is not far-fetched, the brain had teleported back to the campus days where you met the EX. The brain brings back the imaginary taste of your EX's watery Ogbona soup with crayfish! Confusion sets in! Anger without meaningful reason! You unleash the anger on your wife! The first thing that comes to the mind of all EXes out there is SEX and how to destroy your current relationship (not necessarily on purpose, they may come with good intention, but the mind is too dirty to be good). It is better to make an EX an enemy than make him/her a friend. The first thing I deal with in my relationship is the EX clause. It is something that must be talked about at the early stage of the relationship and settled completely! However, humans are bound to make mistakes, as no one is truly perfect. Hence, forgiveness must be decisively given when sought after! All the best SIRs/MAs. 3 Likes |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 4:13am On Nov 24, 2015 |
cococandy:Trust me brsosam is not neutral at all in this matter.i know what am saying and d reason's I say he is not neutral.i did not expect less support from him for my wife.i know my wife actually put him into this to gve whatever she says credence. |
Re: What Do You Do When Your Spouse Lies To You by phatxplorer: 4:16am On Nov 24, 2015 |
cococandy:Trust me brsosam is not neutral at all in this matter.i know what am saying and d reason's I say he is not neutral.i did not expect less support from him for my wife.i know my wife actually put him into this to gve whatever she says credence. I have friends on nairaland but did not involve them to take my side.i only post this topic to enable me clear my mind and head by reading opinions of neutral pple. |
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