susubrown:
Me slap him,i fit,thank God he has said he has short temper,then I will then dare slap him,jezzzeee I can't try that,yea I knew about the ex and when he brought her to me I helped her get a job and even gave her were to stay,so fine y would I acuse him of dating her and still help her and even allow her sleep in the same bed with me.i am a very very open person,i only accused him when the ex kept calling late at night,,in the fb messagehe told her to come to ph. So they could start thier life together and he married her cos she refused and I accepted

Plz pple kindly ask her what put d mark on my face dat day,mayb it was d witch in my village.my wife is stubborn and cold blooded and can do anything. U accused me coz of d fake prophesy u were given before the prophesy u Neva had any issue wit d same ex dat u helped to get a part time job when I was dating u.woman say d truth and let pple know how to help u.i wonder how u will bring up our daughter wit all these lies. My ex Neva called me @ nite. Even d txt she sent I showed it to u and I Neva invited her to PH. D day u started d accusation was when u were given d fake prophesy, dat was y u slapped me after d counseling coz of phone call. I ended d relationship wit d girl and married u y then wud I b asking her to come to PH to start our life.does dat make any sense.mind u as at d time u are talking of now I was squatting wit 4 friends in 1 room in PH. My dear speak d truth and don't lie all in d name of scoring points or making me look bad like u have been doing, when pple do not know d truth.

phatxplorer:
We got married and we were looking for an apartment where she wud stay, found places but she Neva liked them and it was getting close to when I will report to place of work in PH. Even when we were looking for a place her mum asked where we wanted to get d place and she was told d mum said it was too far which d dad asked far ffrom who.eventually we cud not get a place b4 I went to resume in PH. So I asked her to stay in my family house wit my mum while we look for a place she wud like.again her Mum said she can not stay wit my mum.after much talk she moved into my family house while I went to PH. I came back after 1 week to see her and go for a deliverance appointment wit her.d fateful morin I was bathing when I heard a shout I ran out wearing only my boxers and I saw dat my wife went to my phone and was checking my phone and saw a fb chat wit my ex, immediately I came out she started shouting and hitting me, beating while I sat on d floor begging her.d chat was an harmless chat and in due time am gonna paste it for all to read.as she was shouting, beating me my mum heard and came begging her all to no avail,she was already packing her things saying she was done wit the marriage and dat d only thing btw us was d marriage certificate which she wud tear if she lays her hand on it.so she took d marriage certificate and tore it to pieces in d presence of my mum despite my mum plea for her not to do it.as she was doing dat she completed it by saying USELESS FAMILY in my mum's presence that was when I got angry and slap and hit her.eventually I called my pastor who came and talked coz I refused her moving her things until I see her parents first.my pastor came and said I should allow her go out to calm down. She left d house and Neva came back that day.called her lines but she did not pik.had to call her dad and told him everything who said he was gonna talk to her.that night she did not come home, d next day my mum called d dad and told him dat her son and her daughter had some mis understanding, she left home and did not come back tru out d nite, she asked if she was in his house. D dad told my mum dat if he did not see his daughter dat he was going to arrest my mum,same man I called and reported was happened d previous nite.
That was how my wife left d house and went to her parents house to stay.all theses happened after I saw d wedding pix few days after our wedding which she did not tell me.so she stayed in her parents house saying she cannot stay in wit my mum.i went back to my station and gave her d money for d house rent(200k). We later saw an apartment wich I askked her to check out if she liked it. She did checked d place out and likked it, to pay became an issue coz she spent 40k out of d rent witout telling me.i came from PH reported to d dad who pleaded wit me to make up d balance, which I did and went to pay for d apartment myself.my wife refused to clean up d place to move in.i was coming from PH to benin every weekend to clean up d place, painted d apartment and moved our things into d house. Still my wife refused to stay in d house and was still staying wit her parents.saying only her can not stay in d house. So I had to b coming to benin every weekend, even at that I will come from pH and will b d 1 to sweep,mob and do all the house chores even to cook for me was an issue.she said I beat her up when she was pregnant wich is a big lie. Dat fateful day I came to benin and she left her parents house to my place, I was very tired and slept off, @ nite what I heard where I was sleeping was strokes of iron on my head and body. My wife was beating me wit iron from this moveable wardrobe shouting dat I was still communicating wit my ex.she went to my phone to check my call log.this am telling u was around 12/1 am midnight.immediately she started packing her things saying. She was leaving dat nite.i had to lock everywhere coz how wud I allow a pregnant woman wonder out dat time of d nite.i locked d door and told her dat when it's morning when her parents come we wud know wat to do.d mext morning when I opened d door my landlady came coz she heard her shout at nite and asked what was happening immediately she started shouting dat I hit her wit hammer on her stomach.God I was surprised and started crying coz this woman can send some1 to jail wit her lies. Her mum came and took her aware and dat was the end she left d house I have paid for 2 years in dat house while I still pay for my accommodation in PH too.my wife has Neva stayed in d house in benin for 1 week. D next thing d mother came wit her younger sister fought me and packed her things away from d house.she said I insult her, abuse her and redicule her wit her ex.cam u imagine talking to ur wife and she compares u wit her ex saying they are better than u,even compare u wit ur friends saying dey are better than u. U will BlackBerry in d house and ur wife will call anoda married man to come and take her to church after u asked her to come to church wit u and she refused. Saying I wished her death with text msg wit anoda sim.dat same person sent me txt msg telling me dat my wife slept with her husband knowing fully well dat he was married. Even d man in question called my wife 1 day in my presnce calling her a Maga coz she was spending money on d guy.it was none of my bizness coz when she was sleeping wit d married man I did not even know her @ all. I Neva threatened her wit msg or whatever or even chased her wit cutlass. This is a woman dat said she went to a church and they said dat I wanted to kill her wit poisoned lacasera.she changed her hospital and did not tell me, even registered in d hospital wit her maiden name.she did not tell me anything even her due date until she delivered and she sent a txt "I don born ooooo" I can paste names of people who are not even related to me and their contacts for clarifaication.its only my wife's parents that supports her in her ways, to d extent dat d mum was asking me dat she does not know y my wife does not respect me.how much do I hve her for feeding money.plzz pple tell her to provide d sim and go to d police for investigation. Fast forward d last incident I was driving and she asked for my phone to call wich she obviously did not do but instead went tru my call logs and saw my ex number on it, started shouting and ranting, I simply asked for my phone back coz she sat at d back seat of d car while I was driving she stoned me on d head wit d phone(blackberry) I almost had an accident dat nite,i was angry and slapped her.
This is my wife who I saw chats wit a man on her phone, I called her at nite and sat her down asking her for explanation wich she she bluntly told me she owes me no explanation.this gus calls her morning and nite and whatsapp her luv messages.finally dat nite my wife told me point blank dat I cannot stop men from toasting her.plz pple askk her if all I said are lies.do u know dat there was a day my wife fought me!,beat me up and tore all my clothes when I called my pastor to come she took some of her clothes and tore them wit scissors saying she was going to lie on my head dat I beat her and tore her clothes.i recorded d whole thing wit my laptop and fortunately there was this 10years old girl staying who later confessed to my pastor dat it was my wife that tore her own clothes.i have videos of my wife beating and tearing my clothes insulting me and calling me Bad head,dat I was a mistake.even the mum calls me dat too.

Mr hubby. I find it a bit difficult to believe you to vbe honest. HOW COME you started this whole saga with 'my wife has traditional marriage pictures with another man' you said nothing about her hitting you with iron poles which I think is much more terrible than that.

Please we want proof. You can munch the Facebook chat on your phone and upload. Also we would like to see all these videos of her beating you like a mad woman. Shikena

Babygirlfl where you dey oo

This marriage right now is heavy with hatred and bitterness. No one is owning their stuff everyone is the victim of abuse. The part where the wife texted "I don born ooo" made me laff I know I know serious stuff.

Everyone has their pastors giving advice and prophecies. Maybe it's time you two sit down and ask yourselves if you want the marriage or not and if you do what are the rules. If you don't maybe a trial separation will clear your heads and possibly give clarity on the way forward to be or not to be.

The 2 stories are miles apart and no one seems to want to accept their role towards the situation at hand

I also see an undertone of pastors and prophesys . . . . .Be careful!!!!!!! A word is enough for the wise.

You both need to ask yourselves and each other if you want the marriage to continue or not.
If yes then you both need to work very hard at putting all this behind you and starting again. . .. very hard especially after all the violence and bitterness but it is achievable.

You need to make promises to each other that some things will never happen again such as violence in any form & inappropriate relationships etc
Write it down if need be and both agree and sign it and keep a copy.
Something written on paper that you can refer to makes it more easy to remember what you both agreed to.

Also another thing to remember is that parents and family can be very biased. Its human nature, They also have very long memories and even if and when you kiss and make up, they wont forget and may not forgive.
Again be careful on what you share with extended families.

andromida:
This marriage right now is heavy with hatred and bitterness. No one is owning their stuff everyone is the victim of abuse. The part where the wife texted "I don born ooo" made me laff I know I know serious stuff.

Everyone has their pastors giving advice and prophecies. Maybe it's time you two sit down and ask yourselves if you want the marriage or not and if you do what are the rules. If you don't maybe a trial separation will clear your heads and possibly give clarity on the way forward to be or not to be.

Thanks a lot for ur contribution, u are truelly correct.ve tried talking to her to sit down let's talk of d way forward but the interference of her parents has not really helped.right now my wife said I can't talk to her anything I want to discuss now should b wit her father coz he is d 1 handling d issue, so where do u want me to start from when our every discussion and plans as man and wife is subject to approval she gets from her parents.it seems am d 1 pushing for d marriage, recently d father sent me a txt asking me to plz start divorce proceeding. Wishing me a happy and blissful future.wud ve loved to paste d txt but I don't wanna disrespect any1.

Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this

susubrown:
So because I forged wedding pic because of papers,which I wasn't given 8 years ago,i should be maltreated,i don't get*
My parents didn't know it was between me and my ex.
The embassy discovered and didn't give us the visa again

Nobody maltreated u, instead u maltreated me and made me felt worthless to the extent it affected my job and I was suspended from work for 10months without coz I cud not hold it together when I almost went mad. Ur parents were aware of the wedding thing if not after telling ur mum y wud her only comment b is it ur picture, go and bring dem back.plus in d pix were ur siblings and other relations.

susubrown:
Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this

phatxplorer:

Thanks a lot for ur contribution, u are truelly correct.ve tried talking to her to sit down let's talk of d way forward but the interference of her parents has not really helped.right now my wife said I can't talk to her anything I want to discuss now should b wit her father coz he is d 1 handling d issue, so where do u want me to start from when our every discussion and plans as man and wife is subject to approval she gets from her parents.it seems am d 1 pushing for d marriage, recently d father sent me a txt asking me to plz start divorce proceeding. Wishing me a happy and blissful future.wud ve loved to paste d txt but I don't wanna disrespect any1.

Okay
Why are you both here?
To wash dirty linen, point fingers at each other or are you both here to seek a lasting solution to the problems in your marriage?
What are your expectations both of you?
Where do you want to go from here?
so people know what to advise you both.

phatxplorer:

Thanks a lot for ur contribution, u are truelly correct.ve tried talking to her to sit down let's talk of d way forward but the interference of her parents has not really helped.right now my wife said I can't talk to her anything I want to discuss now should b wit her father coz he is d 1 handling d issue, so where do u want me to start from when our every discussion and plans as man and wife is subject to approval she gets from her parents.it seems am d 1 pushing for d marriage, recently d father sent me a txt asking me to plz start divorce proceeding. Wishing me a happy and blissful future.wud ve loved to paste d txt but I don't wanna disrespect any1.

If you've been abusive towards her I can understand where her Father is coming from because you know when you talked about recording her while she beat you up it seems to me you set her up. You know her anger and used it against her I am not blaming you just pointing out that you had your own agenda and I just have to ask what was it?

We can only give advice for both of you..we can't decide the fate of your Holy matrimony.

Naira landers this matter is a longgggggggggg story, it started even before the marriage I don't want to go deeper.

Mr and Mrs exit from nairaland and go and settle your differences at home... It makes no sense discussing all these in public. The people here are above 30 Years going to their 40 ties , so they are suppose to be mature people.

Mr. She is your wife call her now and she will hear , discuss the way forward and both of you should sign it and always remind each other of the document.

Wish you well, may peace reign . shalom

Mmmmmm,well I have decided to end this tin for my sanity.well mr a I apologise for what ever I have done but truth is I can't sit and watch u abuse and insult me,its killing and life draining.
nairaland I know I have my fault and am working on them but I had been treated like an animal.
I cannot continue with this violence and the cycle has to break,tacke the issues and stop trying to blackmail me.
Remember u put my pic on what's up pic and wrote prostitue on it now this.plsssss for the sake of m child let peace reign.u always claimed I deceived u into marriage,i am willing to let go plsssssss let peace reign!abeg

susubrown:
Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this

I really want to know is there any truth in what he is saying about you hitting him. Please be very honest here

susubrown:
Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this

Your husband believes you mistreat him maybe you should actually listen to him and hear what he wants from you. I know you are fed up but for whatever reason you married him one last chance you don't have to rush back to be together. You can build a whole new different relationship because whatever you had looks washed up maybe something new can grow.

susubrown:
Can see my husband is meant on scoring some points,my dad sent that text cos he was tired of seeing me battered.this man would size my phones for days,and I always give the gist of armed robbers attacking me.truth is I am tired of this whole stuff,i wish u guys can see me now,i am now a shadow of myself.what stop this man from calling me to settle our differences.must it resort to me been beaten and chased round the house like a common thief,i need to leave for my daughter,i didn't wait to get married all thses years for this

Am not here to score any point my wife but to say d truth so dat neutral pple will see everything as it is.her father I meet we sat down for 4 hours to discussed and he promised me he was going to talk to his daughter I should gve him 2 weeks, only to come back some days later wit dat txt coz my wife told him I called her and ogbanje. But did not ask my wife what she called me before I called her dat. The truth is dat my parents inlaw do not want her in my house for reasons I can not share here.u know my wife is d first daughter and d only 1 working. U leave where u have stayed b4 na but u have Neva stayed in my house but ur parents place only come to my house as if we are just BF and GF.i don't touch ur phones except u collect my phones and start calling numbers on my phone.i Neva chase u or beat u, whenever I try sitting down to talk to u what do I get insults to d extent u tell me dat am talking rubbish and say dat u are a graduate and not 1 village girl, dat if I want someone dat will do watever. I should go and marry a village. U guys need to see what I have gone in d hands of this woman, even this woman went as far starting a building project witout me knowing uptil now which she started when I was suspended from work.Now I can't even think straight Na only God dey see me tru.her plans is make me not b involved in my daughters life by taking her away from me. I Neva expected dat this is what I wud get in marriage.i Neva planned for this. Funny enough we still call each other my husband and my wife on nairaland.

andromida:


Your husband believes you mistreat him maybe you should actually listen to him and hear what he wants from you. I know you are fed up but for whatever reason you married him one last chance you don't have to rush back to be together. You can build a whole new different relationship because whatever you had looks washed up maybe something new can grow.

Thank u andromida @least some1 understands where am coming from,my wife treats me like shit, even when I do everything to make her happy.i sit her down to tell her d things she does dat I don't like but she always feels am trying to intimidate her saying she is. A big girl and a graduate dat if I want a girl to do d things am talking about I should have married a village small girl. She does not respect me insults me @ will and even goes to her family to insult me calling me names.she does not listen to me but other pple and her parents especially on issues concerning our home.even to d extent she shares our plans @ home wit her parents in details.when I try to let her understand dat it's not like dat she become angry and tell me shut up, my dear if I say 1 she wud say 100.i have suffered a lot in her hands that it now looks like am d woman while she is d man.friends no longer come to our house especially my friends coz she hates all of them.

Me build which house,if he wants to talk can't he talk without beatings and bringing my parents into it,its un called for.i have never hit him instead my scars are my witness I give up.my mum is working oooooa and my dad is a pensioner,they are not your issue,face Your martial issue plssssss

"Funny enough we still call each other my husband and my wife on nairaland."

I like that part lolllll. These couples are comedians.....

I go dye ....come see trainees.

May peace reign . shalom

fem29:
Babygirlfl where you dey oo

I dey hear my dear. How are you and the family?

brossam2001:
Hi Peeps.

Didn't really want to comment but just realize I have to..
I have tried in my capacity to merge this cracking marriage even while I was in the United state. because of my belief that what God joined, man (EX) is not permitted to put asunder . like what I always tell the woman whenever I see her you must not allow your marriage to fail. Several times she has met me and complain that she wants a divorce and I think my advice has been what is still keeping the marriage.
And God will keep this marriage the desire peace must return back to the marriage.

I remembered there was a day the woman told me that if shevdies inside the marriage my conscience will fight me since I am the only one telling to remain there, from that day I had a rethink ......


My advice to my Bro...your wife loves you and like every other woman she desire to be love in return pls and pls don't humiliate her by the excessive beatings. I saw the swellings and blood clots all over her face, she told her colleagues that she was attacked by armed robbers, but she opened up to me and I cried in my heart when I saw her face, she told me how you chase her out with cutlass a day before and how you naked her along the streets. Pls bro, love her, she loves you and you will see the best in her

To my Sis...pls initiate the peace move even if your husband is not ready to...every man has ego and I am sure he is sorry by now, you even told me. Give him a kiss on the right side of his cheeks (not left side).

I pray God to make this couples happy and be the best couple in town. Shalom

@ sulieman I now my wife involved u in this to bear her witness but truelly am tempted to react to ur comment but on a second tot I wud rather stay calm and wiat for d day I wud see u so we can talk.she is ur friend and she has told u these things and we live in d same town u Neva cared to say let me know what's happening from this man's own perspective.when ever u call her or she calls u, u only ask is ur husband and Dats d end. Even while we were courting and we had issues ur advice to her was don't put ur egg in 1 basket. I first day I saw u @ 1st junction wit my wife when we were preparing for wedding, my wife left me and went to see u wit d courtesy of excusing herself and u just looked at me from d taxi witout saying hello.well all dat is in d past now and am not angry oooo, all am trying to say is dat if u really have her interest @ heart u wud have called me or even come to my house to say look at what my friend told me ooo,not coming here to support her claims witout hearing from me.do u really know ur friend and what she can do? Plz I don't wanna go into details. But u know dat she does not follow me to church instead she calls u to come and talk her to ur own church.

Divorce biko, you are in a polygamous or polyandrous marriage.

I dont know why but i believe the husband version of the story ( BUT am totally against him beating his wife, its a NO NO ) reason why i believe the husband is because a woman that can take her EX pix into her home can kill her husband. She is not emotionalu seperated from her ex.


And to the husband: why is your ex number always on your call log everytime your wife goes thru your call log Why chat with an EX on facebook

This issue is so complicated.

Phatxplorer and susubrown,

This is not what you resolve on the internet. You need the service of a psychologist for therapy sessions for the two of you. It is obvious you both have anger management issues.

Nevertheless, the problem with the union is the foundation. Your foundation is faulty. Whatever you are experiencing now are what you guys never failed to deal with before tying the knot.

I believe it is not completely over, it can still be salvaged. You can get to address foundational issues on a sincere note. Express your grievances to each other not with the mind of winning the day from any party but with a view to finding a lasting solution. Treat each other with respect, dignity and get to learn what the true meaning of LOVE is.

Marriage is a beautiful thing for parties who are opened and sincere with themselves.

Above all, you both need Jesus.

I wish you both peace and a lasting solution to your challenges.

I am not emotionally attached to my ex,i have not talked to him since 2007 when we broke up,i carried the bag with my belonging to his house,the visa application and the pictures.
Y is it now he is complaining about it,he has never mentioned this matter once and I am surprised he decided to bring it to nairia land.a yes I am a bad person,continue,u will curse me pains only for a while but God will repay u back,everypain and heart break u have caused me

How is brossam involved in this

Abeg Like I always advise abeg make both of una divorce sharply

Don't know who to believe but brossam who I suppose is neutral in this matter has seen the bruises on madam's face which looks as bad as if she was attacked by robbers.

I believe you can sort things out except that you've added violence to your issues which for me is always a deal breaker.
So before one of you kills the other, kindly stay apart for now.

BTW how's the child in this marriage being taken care of?

fem29:
moana, cococandy, damiso, ifyalways, Ewuro4, tearoses abeg make una come see Sometin oooo. This saga is too hot.

I don't even know what to say again

Lol. Funny you

wow what a tale. I pray God heals your marriage. Mr Op and the wife give peace a chance. Op leave your ego, I know you are hurt cos of the pics please she is your wife. Stop the beating pls. Mrs susu pls forgive and accept your husband for the sake of your baby girl. One of the greatest danger to any marriage is third parties especially exes. From henceforth Op stop contacting your ex if it would make your wife happy. I hope to hear good.news soon.

Until people see their exes as enemies of progress, it would be hard to move on successfully in any new relationship.

Do not make an EX your friend (end it at hi - hi). Whether your ex is jobless or not shouldn't be your concern. I'm certain there are more jobless folks in the extended families looking for jobs.

Exes will destroy your homes, they have nothing to offer other than the old emotions that never truly die. We only tend to suppress the feeling with time and distance. When distance is cutoff, emotions come back instantly! Then you begin to wonder why it never worked btw you two! Attention divided! Your wife's soup now taste salty or bitter! Same soup you ate some days before you met the EX. It is not far-fetched, the brain had teleported back to the campus days where you met the EX. The brain brings back the imaginary taste of your EX's watery Ogbona soup with crayfish! Confusion sets in! Anger without meaningful reason! You unleash the anger on your wife!


The first thing that comes to the mind of all EXes out there is SEX and how to destroy your current relationship (not necessarily on purpose, they may come with good intention, but the mind is too dirty to be good).

It is better to make an EX an enemy than make him/her a friend. The first thing I deal with in my relationship is the EX clause. It is something that must be talked about at the early stage of the relationship and settled completely!

However, humans are bound to make mistakes, as no one is truly perfect. Hence, forgiveness must be decisively given when sought after!

All the best SIRs/MAs.

cococandy:
Don't know who to believe but brossam who I suppose is neutral in this matter has seen the bruises on madam's face which looks as bad as if she was attacked by robbers.

I believe you can sort things out except that you've added violence to your issues which for me is always a deal breaker.
So before one of you kills the other, kindly stay apart for now.

BTW how's the child in this marriage being taken care of?

Trust me brsosam is not neutral at all in this matter.i know what am saying and d reason's I say he is not neutral.i did not expect less support from him for my wife.i know my wife actually put him into this to gve whatever she says credence.

cococandy:
Don't know who to believe but brossam who I suppose is neutral in this matter has seen the bruises on madam's face which looks as bad as if she was attacked by robbers.

I believe you can sort things out except that you've added violence to your issues which for me is always a deal breaker.
So before one of you kills the other, kindly stay apart for now.

BTW how's the child in this marriage being taken care of?

Trust me brsosam is not neutral at all in this matter.i know what am saying and d reason's I say he is not neutral.i did not expect less support from him for my wife.i know my wife actually put him into this to gve whatever she says credence. I have friends on nairaland but did not involve them to take my side.i only post this topic to enable me clear my mind and head by reading opinions of neutral pple.