Therock5555:
I don't challenge them except they start shouting incentively at me, most times so loud so that the whole neighborhood could hear and get my image spoilt


I once was dragged like a thief through three neighborhoods because my elder sis showed them a porn cd that I was mistakenly given to by a lecturer thinking it was a Nigerian home video, I was tortured to tell where I got it from but I would not call the man's name, I was dragged to a girlfriend's place and till date she hates me because my dad accused her of giving me the cd since I refused speaking, if I challenged their authority then I would have punched him and flee that money.

It keeps getting uglier bro

Estharfabian:
Can't You like poison him or something??
I'm sure even God would Understand...
see ur little and devilish mind! Even wen wat his fada is doing is wrong bt the man is trying to teach him morale in his own little way and undastanding. Bt dats not the way sha!

42Lashes for what abeg

Sweetyie:
This one is strong

aloeeverhealth:
Don't mind your Father. My Dad did the same and today he's regretting. Why? Because every family member avoid him, even his grand children. He's now lonely and craves for everyone's attention which he can't find. I pray your father realizes soon because he will be the one to pay for it. Every toxic people should be avoided. Even though, he saw me through school, but he made sure I payed every kobo with my cry or with my sweat.

Now that he's lonely, I'm trying to love him, but I don't know how to do that. Due to past memories of him cursing, beating us like animals and slaves

Therock5555:
I'm sure you would do that to your 2 year old son that barely know good from evil

Therock5555:
I was the best literature student in my class but because he wanted me to be a medical doctor I was pushed to science class, I have read more books than the pages of Ababio chemistry text book.

I never was dull, in fact always the top three till I got to ss 1 and entered science class which pummeled me to 30th position, I hate science courses but his word is final so what can I do

Therock5555:
bro I'm in school but I'm not allowed to stay in the hostel or student village because he monitors my movement

Therock5555:
I'm a Sunday school teacher and I'm gonna quit today, gonna meet my patron later today, I can't keep dying inside and Coming to laugh before my Sunday school kids

Apitch:

Your write up made me comment before finishing what I'm reading but I have to advice U real quick.
Ur dad's way of training might be bad to you but I can say he meant well and punishing him now is so wrong
I had a dad that sent us to Creative Minds Foundation, a white man's school and even when flogging was strictly prohibited, he made a special case that we should be exempted and flogged, what wickedness I thought, but now I adore him for all those harsh trainings cos without them, I wouldn't be who I am
U said it urself that he saw U tru school, who does that? A friend or Foe? I rest my case

Laid2001:
So shall your children be happy of your demise SOON.

Elxandre:
You aren't getting something straight.

You must not necessarily oppose every of your Dad's opinion, even if you feel he's wrong. Silence wouldn't kill you at times.
Your siblings aren't cowards as you think, but just playing the 'game'.
I'd also like to hear your Dad's story, cos I don't get why even your mother isn't standing up for you.


You know your dad is a preacher and knows your NL handle probably, yet look what you have as your Profile picture
Is this also standing up to him too?



I don't believe in violence and scarring people emotionally though, so your dad is very wrong for Abusing you physically and emotionally.

Therock5555:


I love arts, more than a dozen folks have told me to be a comedian, someone even wanted to buy a comedy audition form for me but guess what my dad said

"comedians are liars, because they lie to make people laugh so hell awaits them"

I was the captain of my area's football team but when an agent tried to take a few of us to a Ghanaian football Academy, he told me

"footballers careers never last, and a doctor still treats them when they get injured so why don't you become a doctor instead"

Now most of my fellow team mate are balling hard and I ain't even studying medicine yet.


I could clearly sing a song be it rap or any other genre perfectly after just listening to it twice but he would rather die than allow me have a studio section because he thinks I would go for cult meetings.

I could keep going on and on....


Thanks for the advice though

daretodiffer:


You cannot fault him

The more you make life difficult for a erring child, the more he rebels.....fact

He and his father needs counselling. He should learn to keep mum and his dad must learn to use positive reinforcements.

Estharfabian:
Can't You like poison him or something??
I'm sure even God would Understand...


42Lashes for what abeg

Corn99:
i wont lie to u therock555 we're in d same shoes buh my dad does nt curse me nd he's a pastor nd even has a ph.d, but he'll go to d extent of taking my fone nd checking all my acc (e.g 2go, facebook). let me share one dat happened recently, i wanted to carry a baby buh because of my long fingernails i mistakenly scratch d baby's back nd d white blood cell was visible, so i dont later und hw he got to knw abt it, he just called me to d parlour nd in front of small children he started flogging me expecting me to start crying buh i held d pain nd even was talking back at him which made him to begin another round, i still endured nd after dat he told me dat if he sight me carrying any baby he'll disgrace me right dere. so i stood up nd left. in another 5 min he called 4 me which i responded, he den instructed me to cut my finger nails which i did nd later told me in yoruba "maje kin ri e pelu pelu omokomo yen mo o" (meaning dont let me see u with dat bad child again) den i asked who, he said he does nt knw which means he expected me to cry while he was flogging me nd so thought my frends must have been advicing me against him. dats just one of d numerous tins which made me nt to change even if i'm tinking of changing cos i knw he'll never change towards him buh i promise when i come back frm sch after 1st semester nxt yr i will nt take such nonsense frm him again cos i've just gained admission. nd dere's somtin i wont to bring out all he's doin only harden my heart nd no iota of change is visible i swear!

raayah:


I tire oh! Father has been disciplining him for 21 years and he did not change. It's time for the father to sit and think where he as a father went wrong.

onila:


u deserve to be beaten

how dare u scratch a babys back

Corn99:
it was nt intentional like i said b4 nd d child's abt 2 yrs old nt a fresh baby

doctor90210:
Hey, I can relate well with your story bro. My reply is long, but I want you to get what it means to have an abusive father.

Unlike you, I was an only son, always top of my class. Infact my father didn't really have any expectations from me, neither did he get impressed/acknowledge by my achievements. But of course, bad behaviors don't go unpunished. I can't recall ever getting a gift for being top of my class (Especially in secondary school). My classmates who come 2nd/3rd come to school boasting about the gifts they got for their position.

My father was so strict that I don't dare talk in his presence talkless of opposing him, EVEN AFTER I BECAME A DOCTOR. I get beaten over trivial things too (Like crying for a bigger meat) and sometimes end up in the hospital and missing school cos of injuries he has inflicted on me. My childhood was filled with physical and emotional abuse. I used to have red eyes, when he is talking to me and i mistakenly look at him, a hot slap will automatically land on my face & then he'll say I've been smoking weed (I don't go out, not rebellious, I didnt have friends I'd never seen weed in my life), only for me to find out when I started working and went to see an ophthalmologist that I had an eye condition which could've been treated better if diagnosed early.

The day i wrote jamb, he didn't even give me t.fare, said he didn't have money, only to come back to meet chicken soup (Mom said he brought out money after I left). I remember my Uni days-the worst period of my life, I survived by being parasites to people. I was still getting flogged as an undergraduate. People used to tell me he loved me and only trying to discipline me & when I grow up, he'll change. He loved my sisters more than me and never hid it.

While in secondary school, he had severally forced me to put scarification marks on my face and body (cos a neighbor/stranger gave it to him). Note, he is a university graduate & claims to be a pastor on the outside. I refused and he called me a bastard (He does that a lot when he is angry). Of course I have those marks till now.

When I started working, I didn't take revenge. He couldn't keep a job so I had to take over the financial running of the house. I thought we could get closer at that point but it got worse. He started using my money to chase women & started having issues with mum. Once I send any bulk money, he'll take off and leave the house till after a month and wont use the money for what its meant for. Even at this period , I couldnt really talk to him about anything. He only asks for money and I send, pay my sister's school fees and all. Whenever I tried to talk him about their issues after neighbors got tired of settling fights (calmy of course), he always called me a bastard again and then rain curses.

I reduced the money I was sending him, but kept taking care of other things. He later threatened to sell our ONLY house and move on with his life which he did (for a ridiculous amount) despite my efforts to dissuade him. He then took off and no one knew where he was. We had a big fight, he later apologized when he finished spending the money and his new woman left him. I let it go and we started talking again.

When I started a serious relationship, I introduced my fiance to him. He didn't come for our intro though (gave excuses). The wedding came, he started another issue. Said I didn't come to check on him since he sold the house, so we shouldn't expect him at the wedding ( I work in the north, been here since grad). HE DIDN'T COME FOR MY WEDDING, even though it took place in Lagos where he resides. He even warned people/his family not to come & cursed whoever shows up there. I knew this because I travelled to ibadan to invite some elderly family members and one of them called him to congratulate him in my presence and placed the phone on speaker, what he said said was shocking!! He called my wife too b4 the wedding and threatened her not to marry me. The wedding was successful, thank God. When we had our first child, he came begging again as usual, called my wife and was seriously apologising saying it was the devil who took over him.

I COULD HAVE DEVELOPED SOME PSYCHIATRIC PROBLEMS ALONG THE WAY/BECOME REBELLIOUS AND A NUISANCE BUT THANK GOD I OVERCAME THE SITUATION BECOMING A STRONGER MAN.

I only gave him one reply : I HAVE NO MORE PLACE IN MY LIFE FOR YOU!

An abusive father will always be abusive. They'll take out their frustration on their children, some can even kill (this is happening these days). When you start making it and giving them money, some can then pretend to love you, while others can't pretend for long like in my case.

Bro, try to be a good kid. Do what your father wants while you're under him but if the torment continues, let that be your addition motivation to succeed in life. Endure till you can be independent, then decide how you want to relate with him from then on.

firstEVA:
what are you doing with long nails by the way?

Therock5555:
Please this is a long write up so please pardon me

I choosed not to used an alternative moniker because I want my dad to see this, I introduced him to Nairaland and he's a frequent front page reader so I hope he sees this. I hope my fans in the literature section know why I get depressed always.




Sorry for the long epistle, I'm broken and seriously need advice, I hope he gets to see this and then kills me afterwards.


Cc. Ishilove Lalasticlala Sean RoyalRoy

AfroKnight:
Let us consider another angle to this.

From your story we can deduce that even your mother won't stand up for you.... Interesting. This says volumes about you. Your parents are ashamed of you and there must be a reason for it.

You are not sincere about your story. This calls for some personal reflection. Ask yourself: can you stand a son who acts just like you? Would you be proud of a son like you? Let me tell you, every parent wants a child they can be proud of. A pity that many parents don't know how to correct children who have turned out to be disappointments.

Go and fix yourself. At some point in my life I realized that I wouldn't want a son like me. Later on, I sat down and realized that I sincerely couldn't advise my sister to date or marry someone like me. Consequently, I had to make adjustments and conscious concessions. Mine was not an extreme case like yours though. Very far from it.

Your father's brutality is a result of frustration with your conduct. He doesn't know how else to get across to you but sincerely your father's methods are VERY WRONG. Since you said leaving home is not an option, well you have to learn to obey. You have to learn to take instructions and consciously effect them.

Most times we obey our bosses but disobey our parents for the very same request. You know in your heart that some of the things you say to your parents, you would not dare repeat them to your MD at work. It should not be so.

Sorry for being frank. However, concerning your father's disposition towards you I'll say: "Action and reaction are equal and opposite."

Therock5555:
if you go around judging people by their online profile then I guess you are fooling yourself

I'm sure if I had put a Tom and Jerry pix then you would have said cartoon caused the misdemeanor between him and I

Sweetyie:
This one is strong

Atmmachine:
Let me tell you something.
You're still a kid, you live with your parents, they feed you.
African parents derive joy in beating their children.

One day you will get rich and he will want you to buy mansions for him and give him money, It will be up to you to choose how to repay him.

Let me use Emmanuel Adebayor as an example, His family got what they deserve because they treated him like a slave.

If you want your dad to stop beating you. #Fight him, i repeat, #Fight him.
He will never touch you again.

rose4flower:
U no u are a fool i don't tink u carefully read wat i wrote if nt u wont mistake father for mother idiot i said father nt mother fool

Corn99:
i wont lie to u therock555 we're in d same shoes buh my dad does nt curse me nd he's a pastor nd even has a ph.d, but he'll go to d extent of taking my fone nd checking all my acc (e.g 2go, facebook). let me share one dat happened recently, i wanted to carry a baby buh because of my long fingernails i mistakenly scratch d baby's back nd d white blood cell was visible, so i dont later und hw he got to knw abt it, he just called me to d parlour nd in front of small children he started flogging me expecting me to start crying buh i held d pain nd even was talking back at him which made him to begin another round, i still endured nd after dat he told me dat if he sight me carrying any baby he'll disgrace me right dere. so i stood up nd left. in another 5 min he called 4 me which i responded, he den instructed me to cut my finger nails which i did nd later told me in yoruba "maje kin ri e pelu pelu omokomo yen mo o" (meaning dont let me see u with dat bad child again) den i asked who, he said he does nt knw which means he expected me to cry while he was flogging me nd so thought my frends must have been advicing me against him. dats just one of d numerous tins which made me nt to change even if i'm tinking of changing cos i knw he'll never change towards him buh i promise when i come back frm sch after 1st semester nxt yr i will nt take such nonsense frm him again cos i've just gained admission. nd dere's somtin i wont to bring out all he's doin only harden my heart nd no iota of change is visible i swear!