Demainman1:
@op,
Your sister is a bastard pure and simple.

And to those supporting the sister, may your children abandon you at your time of need even though they have the means to help. Say Amen to that.

Brugge:
I hope this coming generation will learn from the mistake of the past. I have traveled around (Thanks to God for His blessings) I have come to understand that in the West parents work hard to guarantee their future and that of their kids. Unlike in our country where people stop short of guaranteeing their future by starting a family hoping and believing that their kids will be under obligation to handle their (parents) financial situations in the future.

Do not see your children as an investment, rather parents should treat their children as human that should leave and freely work to take care of themselves in the future without the parents placing unnecessary expectations on them.

I have seen people whose career are barely off the ground, rushing into starting family, because they want to please society and at the same time they believe they will channel all their energy ( income which is barely enough) into their kids as an investment. There are a lot of issues that comes with seeing your kids as an investment- with the hope that the elder one will raise the younger ones and eventual take care of the parents.

To the young generation and to -be parents please stop putting your children through such psychological torture, moreover you did not consult any of the kids before embarking on such 'ventures' neither did any of those kids signed an agreement with you.

Please parents shoulder your responsibilities and stop mortgaging your children future, just because you don't want to be left out of the 'I am married' crew or the ' I got married early' crew.


As a side note, I used to laugh when I see people ranting on how much they love their parents because of the sacrifice their parents made to raise them. Yes it is true that your parents could choose not to raise you but at the same time it is their responsibility- a responsibility they willing took upon, most times even when it is obvious that they are not up for it financially or emotionally, to raise you. So I see nothing special in it, just parents taking care of their 'mess'.

Brugge:




If only the young ones will learn and start doing things the right way rather than wishing and hoping for miracle when it is obvious that there is a fault with their plan.

nkyblast:
Bad daughter,no matter wat ur mother must ve done to her,dre is no replacement for a mother,well wat u sow is wat u reap,dre is no where it is written who to die first,try ur best to mk u mum live and leave ur sister,time will tell,she will come looking for her. God keep her ( mum) alive ur sister go marry,ungrateful daughter

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Brugge:


Your children will only abandon you financially if you did not plan your life. If you don't plan your life and you are expecting to become a burden to the 'poor' children in future may God let them abandon you, say amen to that.

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

baby124:

Don't say that, some parents are very terrible. Prostituting their kids or blaming them for rapes and even beating them. There is always 3 sides to a story. If the girl should tell her own side, you may even advocate lynching OP

Brugge:


This kind of reasoning is why we will continue to wallow in poverty. Have you stopped to imagined what the situation would have been if the parents had planned their lives properly before bringing those kids into this world. Rather than follow the herd mentality, children are not under any obligation to raise or assist their parents but parents are required to train their children without expecting anything in return.

If only the young ones will learn and start doing things the right way rather than wishing and hoping for miracle when it is obvious that there is a fault with their plan.

nkyblast:
I quite agree wit u but frm wat d story says she is a pharmacist and doing well,no matter wat she wldnt wish her mother dead,well my answer was based on d story, God help dem

Brugge:


This kind of reasoning is why we will continue to wallow in poverty. Have you stopped to imagined what the situation would have been if the parents had planned their lives properly before bringing those kids into this world. Rather than follow the herd mentality, children are not under any obligation to raise or assist their parents but parents are required to train their children without expecting anything in return.

If only the young ones will learn and start doing things the right way rather than wishing and hoping for miracle when it is obvious that there is a fault with their plan.

Demainman1:


May what you believe in follow you sir. In a country without social security, your aged parents becomes your responsibility. I refuse to shy away from that. Whether na dem train me or not. As the Yoruba's will say. "Omo a shey irue fu e"

menix:
Quit expecting her to sort u guyz nd u will experience open doors but once u keep hoping she will change nd start supporting the family you will be limited by ur thought..

Ask yourself this, if ur wealthy sister is not in the picture won't the family survive.

I know of a family their sister is a bank manager in USA, since the day she left nigeria till date she has not visited to say hi to the aged parents, she does not call, talkless send a torn wrapper to the mum..

This is what Jesus saw on the crox nd shouted it's is finished (Uwa Embigo)

pinkyruledworld:
and this shii dey sweet for yr mind. This is Nigeria where there are no good retirement facilities, even in some debvloped countries peeps still care for their old ones, just wondering how ur parents would feel reading this from u. One of the reasons I hated the book "the rules of parenting".

raayah:


No where in the post did OP say their family trained her. A lot of people in Nigeria train themselves through university. We don't even know how her family treated her when growing up.
It could even be that she has been giving them money all these while , yet they keep insulting her because she's single (as you can deduce from OP original post).
We need to hear both sides.

kingthreat:


Sorry but you're a nincompoop for making such statements. As it makes no sense to you not to reap good from your children so be it for you. About planning one's life properly, what about those caught up in disasters and they had to start from scratch. It's obvious you know NOTHING about life. Fools like you will watch your parents suffer when you can ease them because of your retarded mentality.

armyofone:
You are so right. And it is so unfortunate his/her thought process. They don't even care to know how she is doing, if she is paying back debts, or something. They have calculated she is a pharmacist and as such, she is automatically rich. When is this entitlement going to end?
Suze Orman once said it is what is making many people poorer than they should be. It is very common among black/African too.
The days of carrying family financial burden on oneself is gone. Wake up and work your way up with no expectation from anyone. Talk to her yourself, tell her what you have been doing and what is going on back home.
You OP should consider helping your mom more because you never know what your sister is really going through wherever she is.

Brugge:


Of course I live in Naija and I know the situation of things. Can you explain to me how in the world what and how an okada rider for instance with five kids intend to give those children a good childhood and at same time save or make any investment towards his retirement?

Please my dear let's not allow sentiment becloud our judgement,hence, we ourselves will be similar mistake.

yinkus4u2c:
Because she's a member of the family is not an indication that the family would benefit from her success... Just pray for help from above. It may be a total stranger that would help...

Brugge:


The problem is that Nigerians always shy away from the truth and we like wiping up sentiment. Have you ever considered what most kids go through as kids, ranging from having the worst living condition to hawking around goods at a very tender age, rather than being children. Have you ever considered that if most parents have set their priority right they would never put their kids in such situation?

You may not want to accept the truth but I have been with parents whose financial status aint good and they are about having a new baby in addition to the ones they could barely care for. Most of them their responses are same 'that God will take of the kids or that God will provide'. How on earth will a loving parent put their so called loved kids in such a situation?

I hope when you are old enough to start a family that you make a better choice so that your kids will be kids when they are supposed to be kids and be adult when they are meant to be one.

Richy4:


Did you train yourself in school?
Are you working...?
Do you buy your parents gift ones in a while?
If you buy your parents gifts ones in a while, why do you do it?

Ginaz:
Something is eating her deeply, may be something that happened to her, a bad memory or experience. Except she makes it known to everybody, she won't change.

ADAMUdaCOWBOY:

Everybody is going through something, 'going through something' is not an excuse to neglect one's parents. For a mother to expect support from her child is not bad and if that is a black African problem then the reason is not far fetched - we don't have social welfare packages for the elderly. They should bluntly tell her she is messing up and the mother completely turn her back against her and forbid her from attending her funeral til she does what is right. I am tired of Africans trying to live European and American lifestyles in an African setting!