tpiadotcom:



me sef, the post and thread title scared me, imagine this type of mentality, why wont the sister stay away before she ends up somewhere else?

or, i have come across such families severaly, they like pity-party and they are chronic wicked

from the way he compose his post i persive high level of hatred, envy and wickedness in that family.

in some wicked families, when they know you have a kobo, they will fall sick in order to waste that money, when that money finish they will recover.

if the OP wants to be just, let him give out her sister's number let someone call her and hear her reasons.

i can swear anything, the OP is from calabar
God purnish witches

My guy, do ur best for ur mum. The little u can give to her, give. Av experienced struggling tru the university n i understand its not easy, but do what u can. Also reason with ur sister, do not ask her to send down hundreds of thousands, simply ask for her support. If she refuses to help then let her be, life is full of surprises. Is ur family a polygamous one? These things happen mostly in polygamous homes.

EVILFOREST:

TAKE it EASY .

Things are difficult now.
MOST Families are not spared.
That's why most Guys defect from liabilities.
The HARDSHIP is now becoming, unbecoming.

By the way, re-write that your sentence.
It may haunt your Family in near future.
She's not a curse and don't be a plague to her.

Call/Visit your sister and know her situation.
U may be surprised as to what you may get.
PRAY always.

Are you are Christian? Yes have faith,if no become born again...... But don't forget to pray
Y

Pray to God about her and also if you can locate the church she attends ,try go there without her consent and report her to the Pastor and elders.Make sure you do this on a sure Sunday service when she will be in attendance...make as if you want to give testimony and narrate how shes been treating your family bad..just my idea tho!

Ginaz:
Something is eating her deeply, may be something that happened to her, a bad memory or experience. Except she makes it known to everybody, she won't change.

You just spoke my mind.....she may be harbouring a grudge against the family. ..

Pidggin:
She may be harboring a grudge. Why are you trying to paint her black, how are you even sure she is as rich as you assume? We ladies usually help our parents, this is why I feel there is another side to your story.

I feel u... i was in same situation with my mom

are you really sure if she's really well to do the way the way u claim? I mean even if she is the advocate of a devil, no one would forget such a mother that easily... my opinion is that you are jumping to conclusions maybe because she now uses a ride and there is this impression always attached to people using ride that they can buy the world which is just an illusion.Not all can properly fuel that car constantly though...just be patient with her and give her time to build he foundation very well,trust me as a firstborn I know the pressure attached to it.

Brugge:


Your children will only abandon you financially if you did not plan your life. If you don't plan your life and you are expecting to become a burden to the 'poor' children in future may God let them abandon you, say amen to that.

You did mention in your previous post of how widely travelled you are, I guess the quote below will help put things in the right perspective

Richy4:
Some people here don't just understand African settings. they equate every thing with American ways of life. some are even given Suzie orman show example on how she will be poor bla bla bla.

The Girl in question was trained by somebody in the family, she was invested upon so that when the people that invested on her became tired, she inturn will help out that is African settings.....


When it comes to abroad, They all got student loans and grant that will see them through University and when they graduate, and start working, they will pay all that. so they will never depend on their parent for anything, That is why they don't give money to their parent or any thing. and their parent on the other hand were saving a pension fund that will see them through retirement. because their kids will not look after them, they are going to a nursing homes or retirement village with the money they saved.

So that girl did not train herself neither did she applied for a student loan grant. because I am sure such thing was not in Nigeria. so the money the parent should have saved for retirement was used on her which was investment.

So now that she is working and the mother was not, she should help.....
People should not come in here and start forming oyibo and start supporting the girl's action because it was wrong.

After all if you get a student grant you will have to pay when you are working, no matter what you are passing through financially, the people that facilitated those loan and grant will not listen to you till you start paying by instalment.

calabardick:


or, i have come across such families severaly, they like pity-party and they are chronic wicked

from the way he compose his post i persive high level of hatred, envy and wickedness in that family.

in some wicked families, when they know you have a kobo, they will fall sick in order to waste that money, when that money finish they will recover.

if the OP wants to be just, let him give out her sister's number let someone call her and hear her reasons.

i can swear anything, the OP is from calabar
God purnish witches

God save people from ancestral enemies, for real.

I don't know if the op is Calabar, but this type of thing can be found anywhere. Never say never!

amparas:
Karma is a b*tch but make sure that b*tch is beautiful

you make no sense.

harveyspec:


You did mention in your previous post of how widely travelled you are, I guess the quote below will help put things in the right perspective

My brother I understand the situstion in our country but in the middle of it we should not forget how our parents found themselves in such situation. As soon as we accept that there is a problem with some of the ways we plan for the future and start taking necessary steps only then will we free ourselves from situation like this.

Demainman1:


You keep hammering on parents planning for their old age. What about the ones that planned, saved, had plenty but lost everything in their old age?

What happens to them then?

If you like don't take care of your old parents or your siblings. Na u sabi.

That is a valid point but we both know that over 70 percent of family hardly get by let alone savings. Let us be honest we dont have saving culture(myself included) it is time we start having this conversation.

engrkenny:


We are always quick to adopt the western mentality without knowing that ours and their way of life is entirely different.

Your parents are obliged to train you without expecting, but they could as well abandon you as soon as you clocked 18yrs and start saving all their earnings for their old age, you go out and fend for yourself however you wish, apply for student loans, look for jobs or start your business without their connections or at least goodwill, rugged your way out, where would you end up? Am thinking unless you're not from Nigeria, there's a good chance they'd be better off with/without your support when they're getting old. Cos that's the way it's done in US, Europe and the rest.

I might not perfectly understand where you're coming from, but we can't right parent's wrong by leaving them to their fates. We can only plan and better ourselves so as not to make same mistakes, if that's what you're advocating for, then am with you.

Try and go through my posts on this subject. I am not saying people should not help or take care of their parents. My point is it is time as a generation we start making plans for the future and start doing this right. The idea of having 6 kids putting them through crises only to raise one and then place the responsibility of raising others on her shoulder, which most parents of our parents generation adopted isnt working any more. Times have change so should our approach to solving problems.

/
Pay her a visit.

Tell her the problems your family is having without placing it as a burden on her.

It is either she helps or she will give you a clue about what is the problem.

Either way, it will help your family make an informed decision about her.

There is no need for third party in this case which may end up aggravating and alienating her.

kingthreat:


I have no regret being blunt to an ingrate who believes he should benefit from his parents but never give back to them. Selfish cocksucka

Little I know you are still young and going through your post on NL I realized that you cannot engage in critical thinking or in any logical conversation. I doubt if you could do half of what I have done for my parents and still doing in your life time.

Brugge:
Little I know you are still young and going through your post on NL I realized that you cannot engage in critical thinking or in any logical conversation. I doubt if you could do half of what I have done for my parents and still doing in your life time.

Wait you just advocated leaving them to their own peril. Why you come dey help them?
As for my person, first of all I could be older than you. Here I choose to be blunt and I owe nobody no apologies. And on helping my parents I have sacrificed even my Masters degree to make sure they are alright. And I will do more cos they are the pilllar on which any legacy I make was built. Charity begins at home. They gave me and I will give them without thinking twice.

Les call a spade, a spade. Tell this guy to find out what was the mother's attitude to her efforts to become a successful pharmacist. What kind of words were employed by your mum in relating with this sister of yours. Take it or leave it some mothers don't just know how to be a good mother and to think the mum that says and does things right with her kids will come to the same harvest wit a careless mum is you not being fair to the principle of seedtime and harvest.What kid of seed did ur mum sew into your sister's life.it is like your sister is on a vengeance mission.im not saying she is right but im actually saying she has her own reason .you try to find out why. Really some parents are better off dead at the feet of Jesus rather than being alive.

Bring her case to the lords chosen program this weekend

Pidggin:
She may be harboring a grudge. Why are you trying to paint her black, how are you even sure she is as rich as you assume? We ladies usually help our parents, this is why I feel there is another side to your story.

harbouring a grudge against all your family members that you won't lend a helping hand when needed and God has blessed you!! A woman squad...Let God intervene no ni..

etankoko:
I have four siblings who are in the high institution and am working and schooling at the same time. My elder sister who graduated from A.b.u Zaria as a pharmacist is doing very well. She is still single and claims to be a devoted Christian but fill less concern about anything that has to do with our mum . My dad is late and we are not finding things easy. The last time i checked my mum she was looking very sick and worried. The little money am making is not enough to carta for the whole family. My school and work are shaking me seriously.

To cut the story short, we have talked to some people to talk to her, both elders and other reliable family members. I don't know how to cope with the situation.

She is in another state. I don't know if she is just waiting for my mum to die so she will come and spend the money on her burial to impress crowd or she is saving the money for another man when she is married

My mum is dieing silently. Please make this front page i need advice cause i don't want to lose her now.

Man unkind to mankind.
www.dollarvista.com
www.jobtips247.info

Brugge:
Little I know you are still young and going through your post on NL I realized that you cannot engage in critical thinking or in any logical conversation. I doubt if you could do half of what I have done for my parents and still doing in your life time.

oh God,what i have done for my parents,hypocritical statement after saying you dont have to do anything for your parents.oga go sleep

baby124:

Don't mind them, it's their expectation of her that is a curse to them. You get a job and suddenly the whole family demands that you feed them. Even the senior ones that should know better, and should be out hustling. They waste their youth and start claiming right. While some people go through hell to see themselves out of poverty.

You can imagine even someone wey never get enough money go marry and born pikin. he was even telling me I should borrow him money cos he needs to buy land and didn't even care wen I told him me sef never buy land. if people know how selfish most siblings are we won't be here criticizing ds lady. seek out for yourself first cos if you ruin yourself finish deyll wash dr hands off your case. talking from experience I just can't start counting. Most outsiders are actually better dan family members.

this is my number 08037763024 u call me for great advice

Brugge:
Try and go through my posts on this subject. I am not saying people should not help or take care of their parents. My point is it is time as a generation we start making plans for the future and start doing this right. The idea of having 6 kids putting them through crises only to raise one and then place the responsibility of raising others on her shoulder, which most parents of our parents generation adopted isnt working any more. Times have change so should our approach to solving problems.

I totally agree with you on that. The world is past the agrarian age, when number of children count as wealth and achievement.

datigbogirl:


You can imagine even someone wey never get enough money go marry and born pikin. he was even telling me I should borrow him money cos he needs to buy land and didn't even care wen I told him me sef never buy land. if people know how selfish most siblings are we won't be here criticizing ds lady. seek out for yourself first cos if you ruin yourself finish deyll wash dr hands off your case. talking from experience I just can't start counting. Most outsiders are actually better dan family members.

so in the case of the od.where the mother is sick,father is dead,two siblings are in uni.one is working to help the family while the other is not.oya what is wicked in this.the only wickedness is you people given excuse for abandoning her family.one even wrote maybe she was raped.like seriously.is it the mother or her siblings in uni that raped her or her dead father.if your family is wicked that doestn't mean everyother family is.

kingthreat:


Wait you just advocated leaving them to their own peril. Why you come dey help them?
As for my person, first of all I could be older than you. Here I choose to be blunt and I owe nobody no apologies. And on helping my parents I have sacrificed even my Masters degree to make sure they are alright. And I will do more cos they are the pilllar on which any legacy I make was built. Charity begins at home. They gave me and I will give them without thinking twice.

I dont need your apology mr. You see how sensible you are, you forgo improving yourself, which means brighter prospect for you and your family so you can focus your energy on your parents. Am sure at the back of your mind you have started nursing the idea that you children should do same. While not strive to improve their lots in the future. Mind you taking care of one's parent does not necessary means picking up all their bills . I will rather have the money to take of myself when am old and my kids coming around as often as time permits to check on me than them sending me money every month to take care of my bills while they are left without enough to travel to come see me.

engrkenny:


I totally agree with you on that. The world is past the agrarian age, when number of children count as wealth and achievement.

My brother is only when we see past sentiments that our society Will be a better place but for some unknown reasons we Nigerians are afraid of confronting status quo.

Something is missing....

Brugge:
My brother is only when we see past sentiments that our society Will be a better place but for some unknown reasons we Nigerians are afraid of confronting status quo.

The only society where children are not obliged to help their parents is the western world because the government provide the help whether the parents plan for their old age or not.

Africans help out, indians help out, Chinese help out.

I don't know what you are talking about plan, plan and plan.

Where I live, whether you plan or not, you will not go hungry in your old age neither would you lack medical attention because the government makes sure you don't.

Richy4:
Some people here don't just understand African settings. they equate every thing with American ways of life. some are even given Suzie orman show example on how she will be poor bla bla bla.

The Girl in question was trained by somebody in the family, she was invested upon so that when the people that invested on her became tired, she inturn will help out that is African settings.....


When it comes to abroad, They all got student loans and grant that will see them through University and when they graduate, and start working, they will pay all that. so they will never depend on their parent for anything, That is why they don't give money to their parent or any thing. and their parent on the other hand were saving a pension fund that will see them through retirement. because their kids will not look after them, they are going to a nursing homes or retirement village with the money they saved.

So that girl did not train herself neither did she applied for a student loan grant. because I am sure such thing was not in Nigeria. so the money the parent should have saved for retirement was used on her which was investment.

So now that she is working and the mother was not, she should help.....
People should not come in here and start forming oyibo and start supporting the girl's action because it was wrong.

After all if you get a student grant you will have to pay when you are working, no matter what you are passing through financially, the people that facilitated those loan and grant will not listen to you till you start paying by instalment.

You've said it all!! Thank you.

The act of paying it forward should not be seen as a difficult task especially if you are a beneficiary of similar act.

Demainman1:


The only society where children are not obliged to help their parents is the western world because the government provide the help whether the parents plan for their old age or not.

Africans help out, indians help out, Chinese help out.

I don't know what you are talking about plan, plan and plan.

Where I live, whether you plan or not, you will not go hungry in your old age neither would you lack medical attention because the government makes sure you don't.

can you tell me what is wrong in a situation where parents make better plan for themselves and their children future? I have two close friends one Chinese and the other Japanes, yeah cultural they take care of their aged parents but the average Chines and Japanes parents are going to die living a huge chunk of money for their family. So you can still take care of your parents even when they are financially okay. But what I stand on and I will continue to condemn in our society is when parents rather than making adequate plan choose to do otherwise with the notion that one of the kids will eventual become somebody and start feeding for them and other siblings.